Chapter 11
As the morning light peaked through the windows, the first things that you became aware of were that your head was pounding and that you were wearing very little. Looking around the unfamiliar room, the memories of the previous evening began to find their way out of the haziness and into the forefront of your mind. You remembered drinking and talking with Everett late into the night. You also remembered that he was a perfect gentleman who let you have his bedroom and that your lack of clothing was simply due to the fact that you didn’t feel like finding anything to put on after stripping off your dress.
Slowly climbing out of bed, you moved to the window and closed the blinds before finding your way to his closet to get something to wear. Dressed in a button up shirt, you went to the kitchen to find Everett making coffee and mumbling to himself with his back towards you. Standing in the doorway, you watched him for awhile without saying anything to alert him to your presence. All you heard of his conversation with himself was “No, now is a terrible time. But if I wait-“
“Is talking to yourself a requirement for the CIA or is it something you learn on the job?” You asked.
He turned around fast and you could tell you had startled him. You watched as he looked you over with an expression on his face that you couldn’t read.
“Good morning,” was all he said in response.
“Good morning. Do you have anything for a headache?” You asked as you started plundering through the cabinets.
“Let me,” he said, moving over to you and getting a bottle out of the cabinet above your head. As he placed it in your hand, you realized how close he was standing to you and that he was still giving you that same look. The unexplainable desire to be nearer to him that you had experienced the previous evening came back as you stared into his eyes.
Without thinking, you slipped one of your hands onto the back of his neck and pressed your lips to his. The kiss started out slowly and tentatively, but it didn’t take long until you were seated on the counter with your legs wrapped around him while he kissed you roughly. His hands trailing up the bare skin of your thighs caused you to moan softly into his mouth. But as quickly as the kiss began, it ended when he pulled back until he was several feet away.
“What’s wrong?” You asked bewilderedly.
“I can’t,” he said with a look that told you it pained him to say it.
“Why?” You asked. “Is there someone you haven’t told me about?”
“No,” he said quickly. “I just…it’s not that I don’t want to…it’s just that, well, you came here because it pained you to watch another man get married. I want to be with you, but I need you to want to be with me, and I know that can’t happen right now.”
As you listened to him, everything finally fell into place.
“Do you remember when you told me I would understand one day why you moved out?” You said. “I understand now. Clint is to you what Laura is to me, isn’t he?”
He simply nodded his head yes before looking away from you.
“I never said anything because I knew how much you and Clint have always been in love so I figured there was no point.”
“What?” You asked. His words had taken you completely off-guard. You didn’t know whether to be angry or hurt that he would dare say that to you now that he knew the truth.
“The pair of you were forever blind to it. You were both so sure that it would end badly that you somehow managed to convince yourselves that you would never fall in love. All the while not seeing what everyone else saw: that you already were.”
A few moments of silence passed before he continued, “I don’t know why he married her, y/n. Knowing Barton, he probably does care about her and love her, in some capacity, and he believes that makes her right for him. She can offer him that stability and safety outside of the job that he craves so much. I’ve never seen him with her, but I’ve seen him with you, and I know that he loves you. One day he’s going to realize it. But he’s not the only man that does, and I think if you give it time, you could love me too.”
You just stared at him with tears in your eyes while you processed everything he had just said. You didn’t know how much of what he told you about Clint’s feelings was accurate, but for the first time you realized that he had been right about what you felt for Clint. Wiping your eyes, you simply said, “I don’t know what to say.”
“I don’t want you to say anything right now. Just think about it. I have to get ready to go to work.”
Then he turned and left you all alone.