Chapter 12
Returning to your empty house was even more depressing than you had imagined it would be after your visit with Everett. Clint’s stuff was still just as he’d left it. Before the wedding, he and Laura had bought a cute little farmhouse out in the middle of nowhere that would serve as the home they would raise their family in. When he was working, however, he would still occupy his old room. Most wives wouldn’t trust their husbands that much, but Laura had complete faith in Clint, as she should. Cheating on his spouse is one thing he would never do. He was too up-front and honest for that. If he ever wanted out of his marriage, he would handle it the right way.
You shook your head as if that would knock those thoughts out of your mind. You didn’t want to think about that. You didn’t want to think about anything Everett had said right now. As if on cue, your cell phone started ringing.
Recognizing the number, you answered it saying, “Good morning, Director.”
“Good morning, y/n. Sorry if this is a bad time,” Did Nick Fury just apologize? You decided you must have truly lost your mind and had started hallucinating, “but I need you to come in.”
“I’ll be right there.”
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“If you want, I can call in Agent Barton to go with you-“
“No,” you said, not looking up from the file you were flipping through. “Let him enjoy his honeymoon. Besides, I want to do this one alone.”
“Are you sure that’s a good idea?” Fury asked. “I trust your judgment, but if you’ve got a personal grudge it can get in the way and mess with your head. Believe me.”
“This isn’t about getting even. This about making something right. Just remember what you said about trusting my judgment.”
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It had taken you days to find your mark, and neutralizing the situation proved just as hard as you had imagined it would be. Nevertheless, you now stood with your gun pointed at her head. Her attractive face was bloodied from the fight, as yours probably was too, and her vibrant red hair was a total mess.
“If you’re going to do it, go ahead. Unless you don’t have the guts for it,” she spat.
“Believe me, I’ve lost count of the number of times I’ve done this. Having the guts for it isn’t the problem. The problem is I don’t know if you could ever be trusted or not, but I’m hoping you can be.”
As you cautiously lowered your gun enough to ease the tension, you watched as her brows furrowed in confusion.
“What are you talking about?”
“You ever thought about switching sides? SHIELD could use someone like you. I’m giving you a choice: die right here right now, or come back and work for us. It’s up to you.”
“You’d let me live? Why?”
“I’m not sure that’s any of your business. But, as a good faith gesture, I’ll share. Years ago, my partner spared your life and you thanked him by shooting me. I don’t know how much you know or care about loyalty, but he’s carried the guilt of that around ever since. Nothing would give him more pleasure than to kill you himself, but that wouldn’t fix what’s bothering him. Seeing that you could turn into something that was worth saving would. Like I said, the choice is yours.”
She stayed silent for a few minutes, obviously trying to deduce if this was some kind of trick, but you also saw something else on her features as you studied her. It might have been the very beginnings of an emotion resembling gratitude. It would take time to see whether or not you were right about that.
“I accept,” she said.
“Alright,” you replied while holstering your gun. You knew it was risky, but it was a symbol of trust.
“What’s your name?” she asked.
“Y/n. Only name I know you by is the Black Widow and that’s going to get old fast.”
“Natasha. Call me Natasha.”
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“Where the hell is she?!” you heard Clint yell as he slammed open the door to Fury’s office. It was the first time you had seen him since the wedding and you were trying to ignore the rush of emotions that were making your chest ache.
“Where is the Black Widow? Why is she alive?” he asked. You weren’t sure if the questioning was directed at you or Fury, but for the moment you were more than willing to let Fury take the lead.
“Ask your partner. She’s the one who decided to ignore my orders and recruit her instead.”
Thanks a lot, Nick.
Clint’s expression softened as he walked over to you. His eyes were locked on your face and it made a chill run down your spine. Even though it made you feel ashamed, you couldn’t resist the urge to avert your gaze.
“What happened?” Clint asked you with a much gentler tone than he had when he’d entered the office. “Why didn’t you call me in?”
“You were on your honeymoon, and I knew you’d want to kill her. I want her to live, Clint.”
“She can’t be trusted, baby,” he said as he squatted down in front of the chair you were sitting in.
Forcing yourself to look at him, you felt yourself getting lost in his eyes. They were filled with a tender affection and concern that made you melt. You wanted nothing more than to reach out and touch him, to make that comfortable connection that made everything feel right.
“I know she can’t be, at least not right now. But she hasn’t had an opportunity to prove herself yet. I think she’ll come through in the end. I know this will be hard for you, but I really want to give her a chance. Are you going to be able to back me up on this?”
He smiled at you and said, “Always.”
It was in that moment that you knew you had to choose your course of action for dealing with your feelings for Clint. You could either decide that you couldn’t live with your jealousy and end up pushing him out of your life, or you could love him enough to always be there for him no matter what.
There was no doubt about which one you were going to choose.
You wrapped your arms tightly around his neck and whispered, “Thank you. You have no idea how much this means to me.”
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Eventually Natasha proved your intuition to be spot on. Of course, her loyalty was originally born out of necessity, but in time she began to genuinely care for you and for the first time in your life you knew what it felt like to have a sister. It took much longer for Clint to warm up to her, though. He demonstrated how talented he was at holding a grudge, but at some point she managed to win his trust and friendship as well.
As the years passed, you never failed to keep your promise to yourself about Clint. You did everything you could to always be there for him. You forced yourself to become friends with Laura, you were there for the births of his children, and as they got older you became “cool Aunt Y/n” who visited them regularly. You truly loved his children, and even though you loved them equally, you couldn’t help but be closer to his son. The son whose middle name was the male version of your first. The son who reminded you so much of his father that, at times, you could almost delude yourself into believing he was yours and Clint’s.
When Loki came to Earth and took control of Clint’s mind, you were the first person to sign up for the Avengers. You fought with them in the Battle of New York and you made sure he made it safely back home.
As shocking and devastating as those events were, it wasn’t until the fall of SHIELD that you really began to feel the drastic changes that were taking place in your life. The loss of the organization that you had dedicated your whole life to left an enormous hole that would need filling.
Now, as you helped your injured former boss out of the car so he could go look at his tombstone, you couldn’t stop wondering where you would go from here. Your thoughts drifted to Everett and how he’d had to change jobs years ago. He had adjusted wonderfully and advanced up the ranks, just like you always knew he would.
At least, you assumed he was still doing well. You hadn’t seen or talked to him as much since that morning at his apartment. You weren’t really avoiding him; you just didn’t know where the two of you now stood. He was in love with you, and you were still in love with someone else. There were times when you wondered if you should try to pursue a relationship with him in spite of your feelings for Clint. Everett was a good man and a good friend who you had always cared about, but you always talked yourself out of it because you knew he deserved to be with someone who wanted him and only him.
Your thoughts were interrupted by the arrival of Steve Rogers and his friend Sam. Even though you had known Steve for awhile now, you couldn’t help but feel a little giddy at the sight of him.
“Hello, Captain,” you said shyly.
“Ma’am,” he said with a smile. “Sir,” he added with a nod to Fury.
Across the cemetery, you saw a head full of bright red hair that you would recognize anywhere.
“Excuse me,” you said, leaving the men behind to talk amongst themselves.
“Are you really leaving?” You asked once you reached her.
“Not forever, I’ve just got to sort through some things. Figure out where to go from here. I’m sure you know what I mean.”
“Yeah, I know. Just make sure you come back, okay? I’ve gotten rather used to having you around.”
“I’d get bored if I stayed away from you too long. So what are you going to do now? What about Barton?”
“I don’t know.”
After a few moments of silence, you asked, “What’s in the file?” Indicating the one she was holding in her hand.
“A favor for Rogers. You know…he could use some help with this. It isn’t a paying job, but it’ll keep you busy. Besides, with Fury out of the picture, you’ll be looking for a new leader. The captain is about the best one you could ever pick.”
“I’ll keep it in mind.”
You moved forward and pulled her into a tight embrace which she returned.
“Take care of yourself,” you said while still holding her. “If you need me, all you’ve got to do is call.”
“Same goes for you, y/n,” she replied before placing a kiss on your cheek.
When you parted, she said, “I’m going to go talk to Rogers, you coming?”
“I’ll catch up with him later. Goodbye, Nat,” you answered, taking her free hand and giving it a gentle squeeze.
You watched as she and Fury traded places.
“Ready to go?” He asked you.
“Do you think you could make it by yourself? I need to talk to somebody about a job.”