Marvel Cinematic Universe Reader Inserts

Steve Rogers bolted out of his bed with cat-like speed and reflexes at the sound of the facility’s alarm blaring. Once out in the hall, he ran into his fellow Avengers, all of whom were in various stages of waking up. Natasha looked like an animal that had been jolted from its slumber, all wide-eyed and on edge, with her vibrant red hair sticking out in every direction. Thor, on the other hand, represented the opposite end of the spectrum. He was yawning widely and rubbing his eyes while complaining about why it had to be turned up so damn loud.

Going into instant “leader mode,” Steve started instructing everyone as to what they needed to do and where they needed to go, when he was interrupted by Bucky yelling from the end of the hall, “There’s no need for that. I found the source, and everybody is going to want to see this.”

Their curiosity getting the better of them, the Avengers followed a grinning Bucky Barnes down the hall until they reached the bridge that overlooked the training area. The first thing they noticed was that the floor-to-ceiling window on the opposite side was completely broken. Looking down, they saw the most likely cause of the incident, and it made more than a few brows in the group furrow.

At first glance, it looked like the Winter Soldier was crouching over Captain America, with his metal arm pulled back, ready to punch his opponent in the face. The only problem with that scenario was that both Captain America and the Winter Soldier were standing on the bridge. As most of the team stared at the sight before them, the alarm stopped and Sam Wilson came running up to join them.

“Okay, I cut off the alarm. What the hell?” He asked, giving voice to everyone’s thoughts.

“This isn’t what it looks like!” You yelled from your spot on top of Tony’s body.

“This is totally what it looks like!” Tony also yelled.

Even through your drunken haze, you saw Steve’s face as he tried to work his mind around what he was witnessing, and you were pretty sure he was having a hard time keeping his cool on this one.

“What are you two doing? Why is the window broken? Why are you wearing my uniform, Tony?” He cried out all at once.

“Long story, Cap,” was all he managed before passing out under you.

Exhausted from the evening’s events, and in a state that could only be defined as being extremely inebriated, you decided that Tony had the right idea, so you rolled off of him and just lay on the floor. A few moments later, you were vaguely aware of somebody lifting you off the ground before everything went black.

——————————————

The sound of someone knocking loudly on the door awoke you the next morning. Throwing a pillow on top of your head to block out the offensive noise, you mumbled something about no one being at home.

“Okay, I gave you fair warning. Now, I’m coming in,” you heard a male voice yell from the doorway. You felt the bed shift under his weight as he sat down behind you and grabbed you through the covers.

“Wake up!” Bucky said as he started shaking you.

“Go away!”

“Afraid I can’t do that. Steve wants to see you. Come on, I brought you coffee.”

You sat up from under your piles of pillows and blankets to see Bucky looking far happier than you had ever seen him before.

“Why do you look so cheerful this morning?” You asked as you grabbed the cup of coffee he had set on your nightstand.

“What do you remember about last night?”

You rubbed your head and started trying to think back to the previous evening’s events.

“Tony wanted us to have a night of best friend bonding. We sat up late drinking. Just plain drinking got boring, so we played a drunk board game. He beat me. Then we started rummaging around for something else to do and found these old Captain America movies his dad had and…oh my god…” you quietly muttered, suddenly remembering where things had gone from there.

Bucky gave you a wicked grin and said, “Get up. Steve said it was urgent. Meet us in the security room.”

As he got up to walk away, he stopped and said, “By the way, I thought Stark would have remembered to turn off the security footage before you two put on your little show. Oh well, it will make for quite an entertaining home movie we can look back on for years to come.”

—————————————-

You ducked your head shyly around the doorway to the security room to see Steve, Sam, Bucky, and Natasha already inside.

“Come in and have a seat,” Steve said. You noted that he wasn’t wearing his usual friendly expression.

“Yes, sir” you whispered as you ducked into the room and quickly landed in one of the empty seats.

“So, what’s this little soiree about?” Tony said as he entered the room a few moments after you, munching on a muffin.

“Sit down and you’ll find out,” Steve answered while giving Tony a look that would have made most men weak with fear. Unfortunately, it didn’t affect Tony at all.

Sitting down beside you, he tore off a piece of muffin and passed it to you. Just staring at it made you feel nauseous so you handed it back to him without a word.

“We wanted to have a little talk about what happened last night,” Steve said, staring at both of you and crossing his muscular arms over his even more muscular chest.

“What happened is y/n and I had an awesome time,” Tony said, throwing an arm around your shoulder.

Steve’s only response was to cut on the security footage. Oh, it would have been bad enough if it was just video, but why did Tony have to go above and beyond and install an audio system too?

“I think we can fast-forward past this early stuff,” Steve said, while messing with the system. You felt your whole body tense when he finally let it resume to normal playback speed.

You were standing in the training area wearing Bucky’s uniform that you had stolen from the equipment room. On your left arm was a makeshift metal arm from one of Tony’s Iron Man suits.

“Hey, Tony!” You yelled. “Hurry up!”

“I’m not Tony anymore!” You heard his voice say from somewhere off-screen just before he sauntered into the camera’s view. He was wearing Cap’s uniform, which was baggy in all the wrong places, and carried his classic shield. He was even wearing the helmet.

“Why, Tony? Why?” You thought to yourself.

The on-screen Tony Stark placed his hand on his hip before drunkenly slurring, “I’m Captain America…The Earth’s Protector…and Defender of My Own Virginity.”

In real-time, you heard both Tony and Bucky snort while trying to hold in their laughter. Steve, on the other hand, was not amused.

“You know,” on-screen Tony said while patting his chest, “this uniform is really loose.”

“I told you that you were too short and skinny to play Steve,” you told him.

“Well there’s one place where it is way too tight, and that’s right down here,” he said, pointing at his crotch with both hands. “I guess the serum didn’t make everything bigger.”

If you could have died from second-hand shame, you would have already been in the casket.

“Enough talking, Captain. Let’s get this fight started. I want to try out this arm.”

“I’m sure you do,” Tony said with a suggestive tone. “Alright, let’s do this!”

The only plausible explanation for what happened next was that the shield’s natural aerodynamics made up for Tony’s lousy throw, because it sped towards you at a shocking speed. You hit the deck with a loud squeal just before it could come into contact with you, so it went straight through the window, shattering it into a million pieces. As the sound of the alarm began drowning out most of the audio, you were still able to catch a few phrases from your argument such as “Steve’s going to kill you!” And “You were supposed to catch it!” Before you tackled him to the floor.

You had never been more relieved than you were the moment Steve flipped the video off. He gave the pair of you a stern look that was usually reserved for disappointed fathers.

“Your antics disturbed the entire facility. We thought there was a genuine emergency. Do you have anything to say for yourselves?”

You glanced sideways at Tony and hoped that, for once, he would keep his big mouth shut.

“I think I might be even funnier drunk than I am sober,” he said after awhile.

Oh well. It didn’t hurt to dream.

“That’s all you have to say,” Steve said. “I’m even funnier when I’m drunk?”

“To be fair,” Tony said, “that was hilarious. I definitely want a copy of that for my own personal viewing.”

“Oh you’ll be getting one, or more specifically, Pepper will,” Natasha said with a mischievous smile.

You looked over at Tony and saw the wheels turning in his brain.

At last he said, “I love Pepper dearly, but the one area she’s lacking in is a sense of humor. She won’t find this funny at all.”

“We might could be persuaded to not tell her about it, provided you owe everyone in the facility a very big favor. Oh, and Steve gets two favors,” Natasha said.

“That’s blackmail,” Tony replied.

“Yes, it is. Do you have a problem with that?”

“No, I just wanted to make sure we were on the same page. Blackmail it is. Everyone submit their requests, and I’ll get right on that. Been great doing business with you,” he said, hopping up and hurrying out the door before he got in any deeper.

“What’s my punishment?” You asked, looking up at Steve like a puppy who had just gotten scolded.

“Knowing you, reliving that was punishment enough,” Steve said with a smile before patting you on the shoulder and heading out the room with Natasha and Sam in tow.

You looked at Bucky to find him grinning from ear to ear.

“Did you enjoy the show?” You asked him.

“Yeah, I did actually. But I’m curious, what did Stark mean about you wanting to try out my metal arm?” He asked with a certain glimmer in his eyes.

“Leave it alone, Bucky,” you warned. “I’ve been through enough today. That was so embarrassing, and I felt so bad for Steve.”

As you got up to leave, Bucky joined you and threw his metal arm around your shoulder.

“Steve will be fine. He knows it was just a joke. Besides, Stark was right. It was hilarious.”