Bonding
My daddy, friends and I are all sitting at the table eating breakfast, joking and talking among ourselves as my mom is looking for something in the kitchen.
“Where is it?” I hear her ask herself as Peter comes out of the room, wearing one of Flash’s silver and gold beanie, a loose black and gold shirt paired with one of my dad’s pants. Everything looked good, but the pants were ill-fitting on him.
“Morning, Max! Join us!” My dad says.
Peter grimly smiles when-
“NO!” My mom exclaims angrily as she slams the cupboard shut.
We all look at her in shock.
“I forgot the canola oil. How could that have happened?” She asks.
We all stare at her.
She leans forward gripping the edge of the sink.
“I’ll be happy to go to the store and get a bottle of oil for you.” Peter supplies with a shit-eating grin on his face.
My mom looks up and smiles at Peter.
I know what this bastard is doing.
He’s a smart one.
“No, I can do that, Mommy.” I say as I stand up from my spot at the table and step in between Peter and my mom. “I think it would be rude to send a guest out, especially when we’re spending the holidays together.”
“It is a long drive.” My mom sighs.
“No problem at all, I swear.” Peter says.
What a clever bastard.
“Well, if you really want to.” My mom says.
“I really want to.” Peter says.
“In that case, thank you so much, sweetheart!” She says hugging Peter. “You know what, honey? Norman will go with you for some company.”
“Mom, no-”
“Harry, I really need the oil to make some fried chicken later on for dinner.” My mom tells me. “Beside, this will give them an opportunity for the two important men in your life to bond.”
“Mom!”
“Harold Theopolis!” She reprimands.
“Come on, Max.” My dad says as I see him standing up from his spot at the table. “Let’s get some stuff.”
Peter sends a shit-eating grin my way before turning on his heels and walking towards my dad.
“You can go get the keys.” My mom tells me.
“Fine.” I say as I leave the kitchen.
“Thank you!” She yells to my dad and Peter as she spanks my butt.
I need to up my game.
♂
“So, have you considered putting in a perm since you like unruly hair?” Gwen asked me as I have just finished fixing up my hair in its signature hairstyle.
“I can see that.” My mom says as she is prepping the chicken. “We know how much you love unruly hair, and Max has a good amount of it on his head.”
Honestly, I never noticed since I never looked at Peter very closely.
I can only tell you the color of his eyes.
Brown.
Like Bambi.
“Well, at least you don’t look so desperate anymore, and I for one, am happy that you found a good looking one. After all, I do think that you were trying too hard.”
“So, how are the guys at law school?” My mom asks Gwen.
“I’ve been on date here and there.”
“Gwen!”
“I didn’t say that I slept with them, Ma. I just went out on dinner dates and that’s it. I have some standards that other girls should exercise.”
“I know.”
“I do, however, want to know how Harry hooked up with Max!” Gwen says as she looks so excited.
“Indeed!” My mom says as she washes her hands. “He is so handsome!”
“Well, I didn’t give him much of a choice.” I honestly tell them.
My mom and Gwen giggle.
“I don’t know, but something about him seems….right. Don’t mess this one up, Harry because I have a good feeling about this one. You’re father too. All those other suitors were horrible.”
“They weren’t that bad.” I respond.
“Didn’t you say that one of your exes got arrested for being a bigamist on Valentine’s Day?”
“Way to bring that up.” I deadpan as Gwen starts laughing.
“I’m serious though. Compared to all of your other suitors, Max is well-spoken, successful, handsome-”
“You already said handsome.” I point out.
“So what’s your point?” My mom asks nonchalantly. “Anyway, your father really likes him.”
“Really?”
“Yes. He told me that Max reminds him of himself when he was younger.” My mom told me. “I’m just happy that they are bonding. I’m also happy that you found the one.”
“I can’t wait to be your maid of honor!” Gwen squeals.
What is going on here? These people are crazy! There’s no way that Peter is the one for me at all. I don't see it at all. This is just a temporary fix until we go back to civilization.
♂
A few minutes later there is a loud knock at the door.
I rush to the door and open it.
“Hello?”
“Where the fuck are we, my favorite grandchild?” My grandma asks me as she steps in the cabin with her luggage. “I’m freezing my ass off.” She says hugging me.
“Well-”
“Ah, don’t answer that.” My grandma says as she takes off her fluffy hat.
“I’ll take your stuff to the room.”
“Thanks, sweetheart.” She says presumably walking to the kitchen getting ready to look for the liquor.
God, I love this woman.
This is going to be interesting.