Inside Jokes and the Consequences that Follow

He woke up with a deeper frown than usual this morning because of how much fun he had the day before. He didn’t like that you got along with Higuchi so much for a few reasons. One was because he felt special having only you as a friend and he kind of thought you were the same, having him as your only close friend.

But he knew that maybe you saw him as just a regular friend instead because of how distant he could be. During the early years of the friendship, he ghosted you for like two weeks and then popped up out of nowhere with a text saying, “get online dumbass”. But that’s what friends are like for him. And then he remembered the time he made you buy thirty packets of instant miso soup because he overheard Dazai saying he enjoyed being offered miso whenever he visited someone’s house (and Dazai then never visited Akutagawa after that).

But besides that, you could have refused him. You could have said, “No I’m not buying you so many packets of instant miso.” And then walk away, but you didn’t. You actually bought all that miso because Akutagawa couldn’t at the time since he was being taught by Dazai at the time, that he needed to learn how to get things without using money or credit cards. He lied to you of course, he said he was extremely poor and that he needed food to survive, but he confessed like a year after that.

He thought you must’ve seen him as a good or even great friend, almost like a best friend, because he did after you helped him so much, no matter how obvious his lies were or how mean he could be.

But then he watched as you and Higuchi got along so much better than you and he did in the early years of friendship. He remembered calling you a bitch the first time he met you, and you slapped him across the face and told him to step on Legos.

And then you meet Higuchi, and it goes so well!

No way, he did not want to share you with her. And he didn’t want you to know anything about his work. If Higuchi slipped somehow that your inside joke about him being a powerful assassin was actually true, then you probably would ghost him completely.

And he’s seen your attempts of ghosting other people and he knew that if you ghosted him, he would never be able to talk to you again. You once changed your mailing address and your last name to ghost an ex-boyfriend who tried to reach out and say sorry about how he ended things.

That’s a bit insane in Akutagawa’s mind.

So, imagine how you’d ghost him after lying to you for so many years, it would be horrible. Oh, and if you and Higuchi became friends and left him in the dust? Fuck that, he is too petty to let anything like that happen. And what if you were to date her? That would be so bad – mixing his social life with work life. Not that he had much of a social life, but still, he knew that would be a terrible cocktail.

If you were to be friends with both of them though… still he was paranoid that it wouldn’t go so well. And then he thought about Dazai. Yeah, Dazai would know how to deal with this. He was friends with two people, right? But now one of them is dead and the other is working for the government. That wasn’t so great.

Then his thoughts wondered to Chuuya, but then stopped because he didn’t know if Chuuya really had friends, kind of like how he was. You were his only true friend, and then Higuchi was also a friend but only because of work.

And he assumed he would call the rest of the team his friends if he was forced to. He wouldn’t go out of his way and say, “I’m meeting with friends.” He would very much rather say, “I’m meeting with coworkers.”

But completely besides that, he did not want you and Higuchi to meet again without him being there. He wanted to supervise to make sure everything and everyone was ok. Higuchi kind of jumps the gun when there’s action and will instantly pull out a gun if she sees anything that she considers wrong or an enemy. And you… you kind of go crazy at any point.

He didn’t understand that part of you, but he enjoyed it. Since he didn’t partake in being “crazy” like you, he liked to watch from the sidelines and make sure you’re ok and all. For example, you two went window shopping and he insisted that he needed to wear a disguise for the “inside joke” to be funnier and you instantly took it a step further.

You told him that it would be funny if you acted like he was trying to kill you at random times in public.

He didn’t like that kind of attention in public because that’s something he’s actually done before with many other people, and most times it ended just fine but there were times he would get caught, and there would be unnecessary bloodshed.

He did it anyway, and it was fucking crazy. You screamed “Killer!” and directed multiple people to him, and he would try to act like he wasn’t an actual assassin with an extremely violent ability, but at the same time act as he was a “killer” that was chasing you.

And that other time, you wore a ballgown to the grocery store with him. That was one of the hardest times for him being in public, because people stare and sometimes ask questions. And he isn’t that fond of other people doing such things.

You insisted that he needed some happiness and craziness in his life, so you did such things. It did make him happy at the end of the day but scared that at some point you would go too far, and he’d accidently reveal his actual job.

He stopped thinking about it so much once he was in the shared team office, waiting for Chuuya to arrive and brief them on what needed to be done. It was just him currently in the room since he was about thirty minutes early. He liked being extra early to scope everything out and make sure everything was safe, and also mostly because he was anxious of being late.

“Akutagawa?” A voice called out, unsurely. He turned around gazing to the person who called his name. It was Tachihara, holding a tray of iced teas and biscuits.

“Oh yes, hello.” He greeted back, before looking back to where he was before, which was straight ahead to the elevator. Tachihara almost shivered at the stare, wondering what was wrong with him.

Tachihara was very observant when it came to his teammates. He was usually the first to notice when something was wrong, but he never spoke up about it because he didn’t really want to deal with the consequences. Such as today and now, with how Akutagawa glared ahead of him, towards the elevator, where the other teammates would come from.

“Want some tea?” He tried to cool Akutagawa down from his glare, but he didn’t budge. Tachihara quietly nodded to himself and placed the tray down on the table before walking over to another connecting room in the office.

Once he was in the other room, he tugged out his phone from his pocket, wanting to text Higuchi. He typed a few words before sending, “where the fuck are you? meeting starts soon, and your lover is already here”.

Usually, Tachihara was a nice and gentle guy, but when it came to talking with other teammates (other than Akutagawa), he was an asshole. He loved teasing the shit out of Higuchi about her old crush on Akutagawa, since there was barely anything to like about the guy because he’s always so grumpy. And Higuchi would insist that they were not lovers, thinking that Tachihara seriously thought they were together.

Instead of her usual “ok coming!” text, she sent, “alright, see you when the meeting starts”. Tachihara’s eyes widened, mouth gasping as he started to imagine the drama that might have or could have been happening without him knowing.

Her and Akutagawa, actually together? No… something else for sure.

He didn’t know what, but he stuck inside the connecting room until everyone else was here for the meeting, and then he slid onto one of the chairs in the corner and watched.

Chuuya arrived with a simple grin to his face, and Akutagawa hated that. It always meant that there was not much work to be done, equaling to Akutagawa and Higuchi having to sit together in the office with the rest of the team and fill out some paperwork.

Usually, the paperwork would take an hour and a half at most, but Chuuya added on that it was going to be a lot more than normal.

“I’m taking a vacation day off to go visit a new winery that’s opening today. I just came here to give you the heads up and that you’ll need to fill some more things out in the paperwork, and if it needs my signature, just send it over to my email and I’ll do it later.” He blabbered, smiling at the thought of the winery.

“Can you bring me with you?” Hirotsu added, and then laughed quietly to himself, unaware of the extra tension in the room today.

It was so visible to Tachihara, he was shaking in excitement. He loved this drama, whatever it was, he was there for it. The way Higuchi was forced to sit farther away from Akutagawa was simply incredible, and it looked like Akutagawa wasn’t even listening to the conversation at all.

Higuchi was looking at him more than normal today too.

“Are there any questions? Let’s finish up this meeting soon.” Chuuya concluded, scooting his chair out so he could leave.

“Can I do my work from home today sir?” Akutagawa instantly asked and everyone’s eyes were drawn to him. That was a strange request, coming from him. Usually, people were encouraged to work in the offices but yes, they could go home if they’d like, especially if they weren’t feeling good.

Chuuya furrowed his eyebrows concerned for Akutagawa, shifting in his seat as he leaned over and cupped his head. “You don’t have a fever.” Chuuya mumbled as Akutagawa moped to himself. He just didn’t want to be here because he was still processing what was happening or what happened with you and Higuchi.

“I think I should work from home today.” He explained shortly, looking around the room. His sister shook her head, concerned for him as well. She didn’t speak up, knowing that she could talk to him one-on-one later today, probably at home.

“Why?” Higuchi was the one to ask, forgetting the professional tone and Tachihara “oohed” in the back, giggling to himself.

“I don’t answer to you.” He instantly shot back, rolling his eyes at Higuchi so openly. She preened back into her chair with a sad look, but he didn’t care. He just needed the time to think to himself, without her or anyone else around him. And he’d probably be done with the paperwork sooner than later.

“That was uncalled for…” Chuuya mumbled now picking up on the tension. “Yes, you may work from home.” He added, finishing up the meeting for good. He didn’t want to stick around in there if there was something going on. He just really wanted to go to that new winery.

He got up from his chair, staring down at Akutagawa oddly for a moment and then said a brief, “Goodbye! I’ll share some wine later.” And then left through the elevator.

Akutagawa nodded to him while everyone else said their goodbyes and he sighed quietly, picking up a few of the sheets of paper that Chuuya left behind. Most of the work was on laptops, but some were in paper to seem more legitimate.

Higuchi continued to stare back to Akutagawa softly, as she hoped that everything was ok. She really was confused as to why he was so insistent on avoiding her to the point he’d rather work from home. She just wanted things to be ok, and maybe see both you and Akutagawa outside of work again sometime.

It was so fun to watch and be included with the two of them, it made her feel so happy. Especially with how friendly and flirty you were, she felt like she had needed that time with friends. She hadn’t seen Akutagawa so openly happy like that either before, and now he was sulky, and it confused her.

She wanted to ask him for your number as well!

She was upset that she wasn’t able to get it when she met you, but she assumed that Akutagawa would give her your number and that maybe he’d give you hers as well. And she hadn’t been on a date in so long… even though she mostly convinced herself that you were being just very friendly, she hoped that sometime you two could go out for a little, maybe have a dinner together and see where things end up.

The last time Higuchi was on a date, was with one of the workers here and they weren’t exactly the best pair. Higuchi was always worrying that the girl she was seeing was going out with other people, and yeah, that was true, but the girl would say that it was just a one-time thing, and that Higuchi was the one she really cared about. It made Higuchi feel sick thinking about it since she had such a different attitude and was so serious about dating her, while the girl didn’t seem to really care.

And that was about two years ago, and Higuchi hasn’t gone out with anyone since. She hasn’t even had any random hook ups or one-night stands. It was a bit irritating and with you appearing at Akutagawa’s, it felt like suddenly there was a possibility that she can start dating again and maybe go on a date with you.

She didn’t like feeling so desperate about dating – because she really would rather be friends after having so many bad experiences with dating and crushes. Her crush on Akutagawa lasted so long but it ended because she finally realized he wouldn’t try anything with her because they work together. And after yesterday, it seemed like at least they could be better friends with each other without breaking any social life and work boundaries.

And even if he treated her like shit at work here, she felt ok with it, which was a bit upsetting when she thought about that, if it meant they could be better friends.

“So, is anyone going to go after him with some soup and a get well soon card? Cause that was so weird.” Tachihara spoke up, breaking Higuchi out of her thinking. He was looking at her expectantly, but she just shrugged after a moment.

“I might.” She responded shortly, not wanting to add anything else. She was still confused about it all, maybe it was best to give him space or maybe he really did wake up feeling a bit sick and needing to rest.

She hadn’t even thought at the second option before now, and it scared her thinking that he could be sick. The last time he was sick, he ended up with an infection that led to him staying in the hospital for a week and it really worried her.

It got her to overthinking about yesterday, trying to remember what he ate and such. By the time she recalled everything, she sighed, thinking that maybe he was just super tired because he usually doesn’t talk that much. Or maybe he had a sore throat? She came to both conclusions and also convinced herself that he was truly avoiding her because of something that happened that she can’t remember of yesterday.

Maybe he was just embarrassed for her being embarrassing? But she doubted it. He has seen her in such worse states than that, it wouldn’t make sense.

“I think Gin should go talk with him.” Tachihara exclaimed, gazing to her as she rolled her eyes to him. Gin had sensed that maybe she could go talk to her brother to see what was wrong, but she knew there was not much to calm him down. He also would probably hide whatever was bothering him and she could see that it was affecting Higuchi as well, so she decided to sit and wait, to see what happens next.

It just looked like a weird petty argument that could have happened in the morning or yesterday, when Gin was out. She had been gone the whole day but once she got home yesterday, Akutagawa told her how Chuuya and Higuchi had to stop by briefly. Either way, she didn’t want to bug her brother.

“Oh wait, he forgot his bag.” Higuchi spotted, glancing under his usual seat to see the bag. It was just a small black bag, probably holding his keys and whatnots. Everyone stared as she got up and took the bag in her hand.

“Yeah, you should probably go give it to him.” Tachihara charmed in and she rolled her eyes at his talking. She should, she was his assistant of course, but she still hesitated a few moments, knowing that Akutagawa wouldn’t thank her or possibly even acknowledge her.

“Fine, I’ll go.” She reasoned with herself out loud, nodding a brief “See you soon!” to everyone in the room as she hopped into the elevator.

Standing in the elevator, she gazed at the bag in her hands, sighing loudly. “Why would he forget something like this?” She wondered but her thoughts went back to yesterday again and she felt a bit upset about how he was acting now.

Knowing him, he would already be halfway to his shared apartment, probably cursing silently at anyone in his way. She pulled out her phone to message him before putting it back in her pocket, realizing that his phone was in the bag she was carrying.

Feeling curious, she unzipped his bag to glance inside to see his belongings. She knew she shouldn’t be snooping, but there was a justified reason she felt could back her. She thought that since he knew so much about her (and didn’t seem to care), she could also learn more about him. It wasn’t as if she was snooping on what type of underwear he has or anything super shocking.

“Ugh, why does he keep so many receipts in here, so lazy.” She complained out loud, pushing through all the papers. When she felt her hand touch his phone, she dug it out of his bag, contemplating on if she should look at what was on the lock screen.

She had no clue what his password was today – he changed it every week, and last week when he needed her help to call Chuuya, he told her a super long complicated password that she couldn’t remember. She thought that was unnecessary but then she also realized, that yeah, she would have looked through his phone if she was able to (and if she were able to last year, she would have done it without a second of hesitation).

She wanted to cringe when she remembered that around last year, when she still had a crush on him and had looked up exactly what phone case he had wrapped on this phone. Ugh, it was annoying that she had done so much to learn more about him because she liked him after all that time. But besides that, she bought an extra phone case, the same model as his, just in case he dropped his phone during a fight and offer it to him as a sweet gift.

“Excuse me?” She heard a familiar voice once the elevator doors opened. Oh shit, she thought, oh no… this is one of the worst things to happen at a workplace – being caught snooping through someone’s things.

Fuck.

“Oh hi, I just – well, I was uh, I wanted to give the bag to you, since you left it in the office and well, I kind of wanted to check up on you to make sure you’re okay and all that.” She stumbled through her words, gasping almost as more shock poured through her as Akutagawa furrowed his eyebrows, shaking his head.

“You’re weird and annoying.” He responded after a moment, adding on, “Why do you think you can search through my things?” The way he worded that question stung through her ears, almost making her flinch at his tone.

He didn’t ask “Why are you searching through my things?” He asked something along the lines of why does she (and only her specifically), did she think she could do that. Oh fuck, she wanted to just disappear and act like this wasn’t happening, but it was really happening now.

“Umm, I was looking for a Band-Aid.” Her reply was short and breathy, the one sign that gave her away to lying. Akutagawa looked even more uninterested at her, scoffing at the audacity. After being so open and vulnerable, this is what happens to him? He only let Higuchi meet you, thinking that it would be very brief and end the rumors circulating around the Port Mafia that he was lonely.

Yes, he knew he was lonely, but at least he was lonely with you, a very dear friend to him. And Higuchi was something like a friend, but again, he only really saw her as a work friend, but he did trust her enough to let you two see each other yesterday.

“And you found a Band-Aid? Or are you searching on my phone for where you can find a Band-Aid?” He was incredibly irritated – and then snatched his bag and phone from her, causing her to jump slightly. She was starting to shake and shiver nervously at being caught for snooping and lying.

“Hey, I don’t even know your password, how would I be searching on your phone?” She laughed nervously, gazing at everything except for him. He had the urge to activate his ability to scare her into telling the truth, but then realized it wouldn’t really help much and that he should still trust her since she’s been there for him many times.

But he was still curious as to why she needed to look through his bag and pick out his phone.

“So, why?” He asked quietly, leaning in closer to face her, as he stepped into the elevator to stop it from moving. Higuchi gulped as she looked down at her feet, trying her best not to freak out anymore but it was so hard, it would be easier to confess something!

So, she did, instantly.

“I wanted Y/n’s number!” She blurted causing him to jerk back at the sudden loudness of her voice. He frowned at the answer, cursing in his head as he realized what might happen now if he were to give your number to her.

He could picture it so clearly! You and Higuchi standing so close together, abandoning him completely, just like a few other people did in his life – but he didn’t think about it so dramatically and he almost got nauseas thinking Higuchi could steal you from him.

“No.” He replied, spinning around as he tucked his phone into his bag and then walked off as quickly as possible. Higuchi stared after him, tilting her head almost at what he did, baffled to the max. The way he stalked away with a mad purpose made her come to a surprising conclusion that maybe Akutagawa had certain feelings for you, that Higuchi had as well.

Right? That would be the only possible logical explanation as to why he acted like that. She was surprised he didn’t try to rip the elevator in half, or at least one of the benches that lined the walls of the elevator.

Higuchi stared at his back as the elevator closed and went to another floor. She stayed in the elevator, frozen as she thought about what happened with Akutagawa and you, and how she might have messed something up by being invasive. She kept quiet as more people filled the elevator and she spent a good ten minutes, riding the elevator to wonder about the situation before she went back to the team to work.