Chapter 8
"Well both the engines are broken but it looks like the left one can carry us far enough to Gravior and we can have the right one looked at when we get there. It'll be slow but…" Peter looked under his arm from where he had been leaning over to inspect the ship, only to shake his head at Rocket's absence. "Rocket!?" Peter called, circling the ship. All around them the black earth spread out, so devoid of anything Peter could see the curve of the planet against the grey horizon.
"Rocket where are you…" the human halted.
"Sorry," came the raccoonoid's unusually soft voice. "Usually I'm working on metal and metal don't feel pain." He screwed another piece into the back of Gamora's neck. She sat still as stone on the ground, legs crossed and eyes staring ahead through the pain.
"It's fine."
"Gams don't lie to me. It ain't fine. None of this." Gamora cast a look behind him,
"I know." Rocket worked calmly but methodically. Peter watched him study Gamora's unique cybernetics with his keen beady eyes and was quite surprised at the creature's thoughtfulness while he worked, the tenderness of it. Gamora sat silently for the rest of the duration.
"Peter," he turned to Mantis staring wide eyed at him within inches.
"Mantis! Yo what did I tell you?" The empath thought gently, then nodded stepping backward.
"Personal space." He nodded, giving her a small pat on the arm.
"How's your head?" She cocked her head, blinking. Peter pointed to the slightly less swollen purple and blue swollen lump.
"Oh! Yes!" She giggled. "My face does hurt but what hurts more are the feelings of the others. Oh great, Peter thought. It didn't take an empath to read the general emptions of the group. Groot hadn't said at word. The adolescent had only been wandering around, slowly healing his wounds. Neither him nor Rocket had spoken a word to each other.
"Groot is the worst off," Mantis finished, looking at the flora colossus. "He is sad because his planet is destroyed but he is so confused as to why he has a planet at all. He does not know why he didn't know about it sooner, and he blames Rocket."
"I don't entirely blame him," Peter mumbled. Put on the captainly face, he told himself, giving a sigh as he turned away. Time to make a game plan. Time to suck it up.
"A'right guys, time to think of a plan."
"Shut up Quill I'm almost…." Rocket fixed his grip on the strange tool he was using and aimed it precariously. "Gams hold still, this is gonna hurt." Peter watched Gamroa grimace, that look she had to put on all too often. With a grunt and a jolt Gamora's head snapped backward, sending Peter's stomach dropping. Before he could do anything her head bent forward and she shook it, Rocket smiled and gave her a pat. "There we go," she smiled, wiping her hair from her face.
"Much better, thank you." Rocket stood up, brushing himself off. "Anytime."
"So what's the plan?" Gamora asked.
"The plan, yeah…umm. Step one make sure we're not in immediate danger. Step two, Rocket I'll need you and Groot to get that one engine up and running. Step three we repair the rest of the damage, then we blast off to Gravior and deliver the goods." Gamora nodded,
"I'll check on Drax, see if he and I can still work the comms and see if we can get and ID on that ship that attacked us." Peter nodded, she met his eyes briefly and gave him a squeeze on the arm as she passed. He watched her go with a mixture of regret and longing. A shuffling noise drew Peter to turn around, just in time to see Groot walk away.
"Shit fuck," Rocket cursed, starting to go after him.
"Rocket!" Peter called. To his surprise the raccoonoid actually turned.
"What?"
"Listen Rocket, you should know that Groot asked me about Xandar…" he fumbled with the words.
"I know Quill. Gams told me. It's fine." Oh, Peter thought. Okay well that makes my job better.
"So, you going after Groot?" Rocket glared.
"Yeah," he answered skeptically.
"I'm not sure that's a good idea, he might just want to be alone."
"No one wants to be alone!" Rocket snapped, his ears flicking back, flat to his head. Peter shrugged, realizing what the creature really meant.
"Alright, just…let me know if you need anything…I'm glad that gun shot wound wasn't too deep." Rocket grinned, patting the make shift bandage.
"Don't get sappy on me Quill."
"Get outta here then," the human teased. Rocket took off.
"Groot! Groot!" The creature yelled, he cursed himself for that desperation dripping from his voice. Memories swirled around him as he ran after Groot's back. Memories of crowded streets and dark alleys and hostile planets. Places where he never needed to call after Groot, times when they'd been out numbered in battle multiple times and he'd been able to leap up to his large friend's shoulder, to safety. "Groot! Groot just stop!"
"I am Groot!"
"You hate me? Yeah that ain't news! You've said it about a thousand times!" He rounded the turf as Groot stalked away, those iron eyes scowling at the ground. "We gotta get the ship back and running!"
"I am Groot!" Groot continued to walk away, not meeting his eyes.
"Oh your not going? How childish."
"I am Groot!" Groot spun around, lashing out thorny roots. Rocket dodged them, sliding to the ground on all fours, glancing around, thank the stars no one was around to see.
"Groot! Just stop!"
"I am Groot! I am Groot! I. Am.Groot!" Groot shouted, Rocket's body trembled against his will. Cowering. Cowering instinctively at the large towering presence that could easily squish him. The acid like air between them vibrated with the shout of Groot's furry. Rocket's heart hammered away, threatening to shatter the bones in his chest. Groot fixed him with a cruel, hurt, broken look. Why, why hadn't Rocket just bee honest with him from the start when he'd first filled some of the gaps of their time together as friends? Why hadn't he been better at taking care of him? Why had Groot sacrificed himself on the Dark Aster? Rocket looked at the teen in breathless hurt. Groot looked back.
"Fine…." Rocket whispered to himself. In his mind he could see his best friend, smiling, making him flower crowns he didn't want. Drinking from public fountains and so, so full of love and light and everything Rocket could never be. Yet here, before him this Groot only frowned, confused and full of hatred.
"I am Groot…" Groot huffed.
"He was my best friend!" Rocket began with more intensity in his tone then he intended. Groot's eyes narrowed. The raccoonoid bent down, taking some of the charred soil in his paws and holding it out him. "This is your planet, you were once part of a great many Groots. Thousands of them." Rocket told him everything, remembering all the things about the Groots. Told him about how he got to Halfworld, about the experiments. The torture. The burns and metal rods and lopping off of limbs. Rocket told him all of it. Feeling his palms grow sweaty and his stomach going in knots. Every story he recounted making him want to scream and shot and sob.
"He died," Rocket finished, all the air sucked out from him. "He sacrificed himself for all of us on Xandar. I took some twigs because that's all that was left of him. A day later, you regrew."
"I…am Groot…?" Groot asked timidly after eternity. Rocket's next immediate thought would haunt him for the rest of his life. Yes. Yes he wished his original Groot back instead of having this new one.
"No!" Rocket forced, "of course not! Groot! I…I loved him…but…I love you too man." Groot's large expectant eyes widened. "And don't go trying to change yourself or do things because that's what you think Groot would want." He was lying through his snout and swallowed the bile that came to his throat. Groot managed a smile,
"I am Groot," he nodded, walking back in the direction of the Milano. Rocket followed behind, trying to calculate how the teen felt. No one deserves that burden, Rocket thought to himself wishing he could do something to ease it, to bring back Planet X to the glory his original friend had spoken of.
"Groot," Peter called in surprise as they came back.
"I am Groot," Groot passed him into the ship.
"A..alright bud, yeah just go check out the damage and see if you guys can get her repaired," he said bewildered. Peter walked down the ramp, looking at Rocket.
"What happened man?" Peter asked, looking at Rocket's disheveled face.
"I told him," the creature whispered; he looked at Peter and the human knew not to press further. Rocket shook his head as he followed Groot down to the engine room.
"We don't gotta talk about it, if you don't want….Maybe it's better that way."
"I am Groot," Groot pointed.
"Yeah yes, that's the engine router."
"I am Groot?" Rocket nodded, a small warmth budding in his chest. So Groot had been listening during those lessons. Stil, the teens normalcy was unnerving. Rocket himself felt like he was spinning around and around.
"Yeah, umm, yeah we just have to patch that up and the rest of the damage to body is pretty much superficial. Groot nodded, getting up and going over to the array of tools. Rocket watched him, his own person. He held his breath. All the words he'd spoken to Groot now out of him, leaving an empty void inside him.
"Damn Groot, what am I going to do…" he whispered loud. He didn't know if he was invoking this Groot or his old dear friend. He wiped his eyes with his paws, time to get to work.