Chapter 9
Gamora eyed Rocket up and down as she and Peter listened to him explain the extent of the damage.
"Groot and I managed to get most of the exterior repaired, still gotta work on that cracked glass though," he gestured to the broken cracks on the glass of the flight deck. She watched the raccoonoid's glassy eyes warily scan the left wing of the Milano. Groot stood, vines extended upward, lengthening his arms as he fiddled with some tools, repairing the extensive damage underneath.
"So you think you can have us out of here by tonight?" Peter asked, "That Lady Qula was adiment about us delivering her waret on time and wer're gonna need units to pay for the engine damage." Rocket nodded absently, rubbing the back of his head,
"Yeah, yeah we'll get us up and runnin."
"Great," Peter sighed with relief, "thanks." Rocket waved them away as he walked back into the Milano. Gamora watched Groot who glared at Rocket's back before shaking his head subtly and turning back to his work. Once Rocket was out of range and she led Peter round the other side of the ship she spoke.
"Tell me I wasn't the only one who noticed he was drunk." Peter frowned. Honestly how unobservant could he be? "Rocket! Peter, Rocket was drunk that entire time!" The human man shrugged,
"When is Rocket not drunk?" Fury stung within her. Come on Peter, you're better than that. I know you are.
"We need to do something." Peter looked around briefly, Drax and Mantis were inside the ship, and Kraglin had taken the opportunity that a deserted planet provided to practice with the Yakka arrow. At least this time no one would be in danger of having their foot or hand stabbed.
"Do you have any ideas?" He asked, she considered. Since Yondu's death Rocket and Peter had quietly gotten closer together. Usually over alcohol and accompanied by music. Gamora thought it was good for both of them, but she wasn't sure the exact extent of their friendship. She shook her head.
"Rocket told Groot."
"Told him what?" Gamora asked.
"Everything. Xandar, the old Groot, all of it." Gamora glanced at Groot where he worked diligently. His face hard in concentration. She shook her head, what must it be like? To know you were the remains of someone else, someone your closest friend desperately loved. Peter followed her gaze, she winced feeling his fingers brush her own.
"We're going to be okay," her eyes narrowed. He only smiled, "I meant all of us." He let go of her hand, her stomach dropped missing that comforting touch for a moment.
"Wait a second!" His eyes lit up, "I think I might have an idea, but we're gonna need Mantis."
He was only one who ever gave a shit about me! Rocket's shaking voice echoed in Groot's mind, echoing deep, deep down into that place that stirred within him. And stirring ever faster ever since they'd landed on Planet X. Groot finished spraying the repair sheen on to the last bullet graze of the ship's left wing. Heal, regrow, rebirth, restore this place. That swirling, glowing force in his core went onward. Another useless left-over memory or something from that old Groot? Fuck him. Sure, Rocket had blabbered on about him but what had that Groot ever done for him? Besides make him feel inadequate. I never deserved him, Rocket had cried. All I ever did was yell at him, push him away. Yondu was right.
Yondu, Groot remembered him. He wished he ask that blue arrow whistling man for advice. What was he going to do? He was just a left over from someone better. He hadn't grown from the soil of the earth like every other Groot had, he was a vestige of a better, more loving and all compassionate Groot. He could never compare, part of him didn't even want to try.
"Groot!" He turned, Rocket stood before him, his tail going back in fourth to keep balance. He was drunk. Again.
"I am Groot?"
"How are yah doing?"
"I am Groot," he shrugged, letting his arms go back into his usual sockets. Rocket smiled, the sloppy genuine grin of his only making that pounding swirling within him worse. Heal, grow, love, protect. He loves you. "I am Groot?"
"Nah thanks bud, I'm gonna take a nap." Groot rolled his eyes, Rocket hardly ever slept. But it was best not to argue with him. It wouldn't work. He watched the raccoonoid stumble off, half grateful Rocket had manage to come out and check on him, even though he hated to admit it. Groot forced himself to work on the ship until he finally repaired the glass on the window shield. Throwing all his anger and apathy into the work. He shook his head again as he walked back into the Milano a little while later, trying to ignore that spinning swiriling in his gut.
"Shh, it won't work if he hears us, "Gamora scolded. Groot turned, watching Peter and Mantis gingerly pass down the hall towards the engine room. Not this time, Groot thought with rage sparking in him. Why didn't anyone let him in on anything? He peered around the corner, watching keenly as they lined up before the engine room door. Mantis first, followed by Peter and then Gamora. The empath looked over her shoulder, hands ringing nervously. Gamora nodded, motioning for her to go forward. Before Groot's suspicious eyes he watched as they threw open the door,
"Hey!" Rocket snapped, "what the?" Groot inched closer, crouching down by the doorway and peeking in.
"This ends, now." Gamora ordered. Groot watched Rocket's bewildered eyes search them as Mantis stepped forward. Rocket's hair rose.
"I just want to help," Mantis put in quietly.
"Uh no, no." Rocket barred his teeth. "No way lady. The last time you touched me it was a disaster."
"She can help you Rocket, you need to let these things out." Peter argued,
"Remember everything Yondu told you? You need to…"
"Don't talk to me about Yondu!" Groot watched in apprehension as Gamora glanced at Mantis, giving her the cue. The woman alien nodded and reached out, her right hand touching the raccoonoid's shoulder. Rocket tried to yank away but it was too late. Mantis's antenna glowed and both of them froze where they stood, as if they had just become two beings. Mantis's body went stiff, then crumbled. The wail that arose from her made Groot's bark quake.
"Mantis!" Gamora shouted, going to reach for both of them but Peter took the assassin's hand, exchanging some silent speech that made her halt. Rocket's body trembled, his eyes squeezed shut, Mantis's own form now bent forward, her head hanging by her knelt knees, rocking back and forth. Rocket stared straight ahead, blankly. If Groot needed oxygen he would have held his breath. Mantis's hand pressed further against the raccoonoid's fur, the sagged, the empty bottle in his hands rolling across the ground. That was when the empath understood. The shame from before, that bottomless well of shame. He'd rather have the old Groot back....than this new one. Deep down, he wishes it was so. No matter how much he hides it; and guilt too. Such guilt.
"I…." he breathed, "I was the one that….who…" Mantis's weeping echoed each of Rocket's ragged breath as she tried to soothe him. "…c..crashed the ship into the Dark Aster," Groot bit his lip. "I…I killed Groot," whimpered, realizing. Peter slowly knelt down, reaching for Rocket's other shoulder, gently stroking it. "I killed him," Rocket repeated, his red eyes looked up, at Groot through the huddle his family made around him. "I killed Groot…." Rocket croaked, a mantra, a curse, a prayer. Each time he repeated it the raccoonoid felt those twigs thrust through his little fluttering heart "I killed Groot." The adolescent did not need to touch the raccoonoiod to feel that agony. His misery was lacerated across his eyes, punctured into the scars on his back. I am Groot. He knew what he had to do. He looked at Rocket, nodding and got up, running from the ship.
"G…Groot," Rocket called after him, bursting through Mantis, Gamora's and Peter's comfort. Rebirth, it sounded within him, pounding in his head and heart as he walked across the shattered remains of a homeworld he could not remember. Maybe it was that old Groot speaking to him? Maybe it was all the Groot's who had ever lived. It drove him, each step forward across the dead earth. Grow, plant the seed. Restore. "Groot! No! What are you doing?" Rocket's frantic calls were far away. But this wasn't about Rocket, it never was. It wasn't even about Groot. Or any of the rest of them. They never understood, they couldn't. Groot barely understood what he was doing as he scanned the bare black ground. There, the presense in him said. There. "Groot! Please! What are you doing?!" Rocket begged, frightened. Frightened of loosing him again. There, the swirling spoke to his bark. Groot halted, looking down at his own chest and closed his eyes. Reaching inward, the panels of bark unfurling easily.
"GROOT!" Peter seized Rocket around his small torso, restraining him from going to Groot's side. "Let me go Star-Freak! Yondu said…said 'you gotta take care of the twig!"
"Rocket stop," Peter tried, clenching his teeth in pain against the raccoonoid's sharp claws. "He knows what he's doing! Please, Rocket…it's alright." Peter held the creature to his chest, arms wrapping around him in a steal grip. But Groot didn't hear them. All Groot heard was the gentle rush of the ghosts of the forests. All he felt as he reached inside of himself for that never ending source, was the branches of his elders, the lost roots beneath the ground. Taking his two hands, he carefully found that swirling golden source inside of him, hard like a large seed. He took it gingerly, bringing it out of himself and into the grey air.
"What is….?" Gamora hushed Kraglin with a look. Drax opened his mouth but said nothing as they watched from afar. Only Rocket's cries echoed on the rising wind.
"It's alright," Peter whispered. "Groot's fine, he's gonna be alright."
"No," Rocket whispered, NO. He tried kicked at Peter, strained to go forward but Peter would not relent. Groot held the pod out in front of him, and lowered it to the ground.
"I am Groot," he invoked, pressing the World Pod down into the soil, watching snakes of golden light emerge and spread like vines, out from the pod. Groot watched in amazement as thin strains of grass protruded from the golden rivers, spreading and covering the desolate landscape. Green, lush, the grass grew up all around, cleaning out the dead waste. Grow! Grow! Rebirth from the ashes! Love! They were not words Groot heard but essences he felt within his own tissue, every small fiber of his being. Smelling that cool fresh grass, feeling the breeze, now clean and crisp. Groot's heart soared as he watched small flowers grow up from the grass, flowers of red, blue, orange, multicolored petals. From the grasses grew stands of bark, bark which thickened as it rose and bloomed into trees. "I am Groot!" Groot managed through his grin. Energy ran through him, vitality, life! He watched his planet becoming once more, beautiful and perfect. Green growing things that smelled of the earth. All was living and he felt it all. Every breeze against the grass, the depths of the earth as the roots of the trees dove down, down, down. The breath of the wind, the essense of the rays of the sun that now shown, dispelling the clouds.
"It's so beautiful," Mantis managed, her tears now running down her smiling face. Gamora gazed wide eyed in wonderment. Drax too felt his heart beat strong with zest at the regrown place all around them.
"Man," Peter ghasped, looking about at the growing impulsive life. The rocks so bland and passive now heaved upward, creating hills and rolling fields. Kraglin felt his heart rise with more joy then he had felt in a long time.
And Rocket, Rocket watched through his tears. But all he saw was Groot in the middle of it all. He'd found his place. He'd found his purpose. He'd found joy. Groot watched the newborn planet rush with vigor. The trees and groves that formed around them, the majesty of it. Finally, he turned around, looking at his family. His forest, and he fell to the ground, smiling.