In Which We All Scream Fuck You Ultron and Oh Shit Hi Dad We Need To Hide.
Peter is currently under three pounds of concrete. It would be easy to remove, but theres also a piece of metal imbedded in his gut and he's not entirely sure he can pull that out without bleeding out immediately. Some of his spiders had been crushed, and he's chittering with the living ones to try and gain some order back in his mind. He's trying to formulate a plan, but all human rationality keeps lieaving him in flashes, and everytime it does he forgets everything. Seriously, going from human-mind-set to spider-beast-mind-set in flashes is such a nuisance.
Peter bites his lip as the ground thunders, obviously from the fight going on. He makes a low whine, clawing at his ear to turn on the comm before snapping his mental web. "Deadpool," He demands, but it comes out more a wail. "Where the fuck are you?"
"The city started rising, I can't get there right now!" Is the response. Peter whines again as his pincers click rapid fire.
"Damn- It-" He takes a deep, painfull breath. "Wait, the city started rising?"
"Yep, that's right Spin-Doll," Deadpool responds, and Peter giggles manically.
"I'm bleeding out, and the city is rising!" He giggles, before his mind does that stupid mind-set swap and he feels instincts he didn't even know existed well up and drown him out for a few breif seconds.
"You good there, Baby Boy? I can't go right now, can you last five minutes?"
"No!" Peter gasps out, "No, ow, ow, ow, ow!" Peter screeches, "Motherfucking bitch sucking shit stained ass full of hell-" He spews every curse word he knows in every language he knows and Deadpool starts to ramble. He chitters to the spider, and they form a plan. He takes a deep breath, and then pulls the concrete and metal out of him. Immediately, all the spiders left converge and web up the wound enough to give him at least thirty minutes. "Okay, I have maybe thrity minutes- Son of a mother fucker- I am trying to stay sane here!" Peter snaps, glaring indignantly at the robot clone, before webbing it over and tearing it's head off.
"Um, I can't teleport.. there?" Deadpool sounds very confused. Peter whines.
"Fine, fine. I have the files, some spider's will take them to you. I'll figure out what in hell is going on- I AM TRYING TO STAY SANE HERE- I gotta go." Peter cuts out the comm feed with another flick of his mental web, lest he get distracted by the electrical whine it puts out other wise, and webs up the wound more before leaping into a higher vantage point to observe what's going on.
He's in Sokovia at the moment, after discovering a Hydra official might have some files regarding the whole situation about him, and Deadpool was lead to teh same guy so they had decided to meet up at the city. Unfortunately, Deadpool got held back by something and Peter had to stop waiting when the city started exploding. Now Deadpool was stuck at the bottom while the city starts rising. Literaly. Peter can see the Avengers, fighting the weird Ultron clones and Peter sighs. He'd have to interact with them after all, to figure out what was happening.
After a few minutes of rewebbing wounds and mercilessly tearing robots apart, he finally manages to find an Avenger that's less preoccupied. Pulling a Captain America up from dangling off the edge of a bridge, he turns his head to whip around and question the Avenger, just barely remembering to use his mental web to turn on the voice modifier in his throat. Not that he needs it, since his voice was a lot different from his Peter Parker days, but it sounded really cool.
"What the fuck is going on, dear Captain?" Peter questions, giggling a little as he webs a robot flying past and pulls the web quickly, the robot flying towards him before he jumps at the last second and it smashes into the ground, Peter lands daintily on top of it. Captain America seems to be observing the situation to see if he should tell Peter.
"Ultron," He says at last. "He's raising the city up to drop it and destroy the-"
"-Surface of the planet!" Peter finishes with a giggle, "Wow, that's smart! To bad I have shit to do on this godforsaken rock, or I woulda totally helped him. Anyway, I'm connecting to your com line, so talk to you later!"
Peter bunches up his spiderlegs and leaps away before a response is formed, chittering to his spiders to get the files down and the tapping at his webshooter screens to connect to the com line. A few seconds of static, and then-
"What do you got, Tony?" Comes Captain America's voice.
"Connected!" Peter cheers. Then a robot flies at him. "Oooooh you little shit, I am trying to stay sane, here!"
"Who is that?"
"Nothing great. Maybe a way to blow up the city, that'll keep it from impacting the surface. If you guys can get clear."
"Yay! Plan!" Peter cheers, before his wound smarts painfully, "Shit, still bleeding out," He says, cheery tone wilting as he rewebs it. "Hey, so, can we get this done in oh, I dunno, eight minutes? Becasue I'm bleeding out and- I swear to god, Ultron, I am fucking talking here!"
"So what?" Ultron responds.
"So, it's rude, asshole! How are you supposed to better humanity and all that shit if you can't fucking be nice? Also, what's up with your peace bullshit? Blowing up people is not peace! Also, if I dare add, so is being rude!" Peter snaps. Ultron stops. Like, all of his robots stop. Peter continues on, because blood loss tends to make people delirious, okay? "Also, seriously, like, home many people have you killed? You're not being very peaceful, killing people and the like. Also, jesus fucking christ stop bleeding!" He hisses, glaring accusingly at his stomach as he webs it again.
"When I wipe you out, you'll evolve," Ultron reasons. Peter glares.
"From what, dare I ask, will we be evolving from?" Peter looks around, gesturing wildly. "Ultron, dear, when this thing falls and odes what you absolutely must intend for it to do, what living thing will, well, live? There won't be something to evolve from! You can't restart the Earth! That's not peace! That's being lazy."
He can hear the chatter in his ear of a different conversation going on. He winces at the sudden over stimulation. "Earlier I saw this red guy, Vision or somethin' was that you? Did you want a human body?"
"I wanted an evolved one."
"I could steal the tech for you, if ya want.' Peter remarks, "On the one condition that is: Don't destroy the world for some bulls hit reason."
"What if I find a better reason?"
"Then do it. I don't give a fuck." Peter giggles, gesturing to himself. "You think I care about a world that's been this kind to me?"
The city jolts, stopping. Peter looks around, giggling. "Was that you? Probably not. There's now way one conversation would get you to see reason! They've found a way to stop this! You have a choice, Ultron dearest! Go to this location, or face failure."
Peter flicks a business card at Ultron, gives him time to read it, and then tears the robot's head off. Then he jumps back in, yelling out to his Com "What was the plan, by the way?"
"Get to the chapel!" Someone yells. Peter giggles, making his way over. He probably athd five minutes now. Tearing off the head of a robot, he begins to Web out the exterior and then the interior with a precision that was unnerving to watch.
The chapel fell silent as the robots got caught in webs and tried to break in. Peter landed saintly on the ground inside, dusting himself off and looking around. Wanda stares at him strangely, and when he's sure the webs will hold, he swings away.
He doesn't know what's happening, he's already forgotten, but when he gets out and runs about for a bit, Hawkeye's trying to save a guy, and are about to be shot at.
He sees the flash, and he knows immediately someone is going to get shot. Shooting a web, he tugs with all his might. The gun moves position seconds before the flash of color stops with a surprised look on his face.
"Spindler?"
"You absolute fucker!" Peter seethes, pulling on the Web again until the weird fighter pilot bulls hit jet crashes to the ground in front of him. Leaping over to it, he tears through the glass and pulls Ultram out. "That quick little silver shit is a teenager! What the fuck is wrong with you? You little sack of rotten eggs!" Peter smashes the head repeatedly, until his hands get burned from the damaged wires and metals still sparking oddly. He turns and faces the quick little shit.
"And you!" He yells, pointing, "You self sacrificing asshole! You have a fucking sister!" Webbing him, he throws him on the safety transport at much the same time the rest of the Avengers arrive, having gotten rid of the other Ultron's, apparently. Peter flips them all off, and he webs up the wound with renewed vigor, named Andrenaline. He again doesn't know what's happening, but apparently the city's going to blow up. Stumbling onto the safety transport thing, he changes the Com link to Deadpool.
"I'm safe. Ish." He giggles. "I have maybe two minutes left!"
"Fuck! Where are you?" Deadpool replies.
"On the SHIELD transport thing," Peter replies, watching the city explode. "Pretty lights."
Deadpool appears next to him at much the same time that one eyed fucker, Fury shows up. Peter blacks out before he figures out what's happening. His last little giggle before the world turns black is a simple "Fuck you, Ultron!"