Cured
Loki watched closely as Stark stood up and turned towards his mother and father. He didn´t have a chance to see if his expression changed in any way from utterly horrific one appearing, when he heard a soft feminine “Tony” uttered behind his back. Probably yes. Because even when he obviously lost his words he let his mother drag him into an awkward embrace.
Loki could not imagine what he would do in his place. However this felt like an ambush, Loki too believed it was the only way how to approach the man, but it didn´t mean it was a good idea. Would Stark regret his decision not to meet with his mother when he had a chance? Most likely. But was it wise to force him when he let his wish to be known?
Loki tried to imagine himself in Stark place and he immediately knew he would not react in the same way. He didn´t like surprises. He didn´t like when people ignored his limits. He didn´t like when people didn´t know what they were doing. And mostly he didn´t like when those said people made Loki do unwise things in return.
His eyes darted towards the bed, glad that Stark was no longer present in the room to see his reaction. Now Loki was sure it wasn´t Stark´s plan to seduce him and obtain a false hope for any kind of control. He didn´t believe the man to be such a good actor and after all, Loki believed Stark had his limits as well. It was ridiculous to think he would go as far as to end with Loki in the bed just because SHIELD or Avengers told him so. They couldn´t even possibly think that such an approach would work with Loki. He would find out eventually. But if that wasn´t Stark´s agenda, what was?
His interest seemed genuine, but in that case it was Loki who made a gravely mistake. He thought that by giving in to Stark´s possible plan even if he wasn´t sure there was any, would only prove what real intentions he had. Instead he absurdly lost control and enjoyed it far more than he wanted, finding out nothing at all.
Or maybe he did find something out.
Loki´s mind brought up the pictures of Stark´s body beneath him, strong, muscles moving against his own flesh and so fragile at the same time, gasping for air, when Loki´s fingers touched him in the right places. He had many lovers and most likely the same could count for the other man. But Loki didn´t remember anyone´s eyes shining so bright while looking at him.
Norns, that man was his punishment.
OOO
“It´s not Howard´s fault, Tony. I´m sorry. I know this will be hard for you once you are gone.”
They were in the kitchen, all of them sitting behind the table for a past hour or so sipping from the tea Tony´s mother prepared. Tony more or less trying to find his voice after he´s just met Jarvis and hugged him so hard they almost fell over.
“It´s okay, mom. I´ll manage.” And it was such a strange sensation to utter the word again. Maria Stark was a beautiful lady, just as he remembered, her smile a cure for any emotional pain Tony might feel when he´ll leave them.
“I know you can´t tell me much more about your life. But still I would like to spend those last days with you, if you let me.”
Maria had assumed just as all of them in the beginning that slipping away the information could be dangerous and Tony let her believe that. It was more acceptable than giving her answers about Tony´s past and breaking her heart in the process. There was still plenty of topics they could discuss to easy Tony´s shock and calm him down to the point he started to feel like he could manage returning to his time mentally healthy. Or at least the same mentally defected as he´d arrived.
All in all, he liked the way his mother was talking about small Tony. His memories were bit hazy in this age. It was nice to remember all night stories, their cooking, his mischiefs, Jarvis playing with him – a lot of stuff he didn´t recall often when dealing with world saving every other day.
And he could say that his mother was happy to meet him. He could see how proud she was even when she couldn´t possibly know about anything he´d done in his time. Looking at those three people sitting next to him, he realized it was all he wished for as he became an orphaned teenager. He´d just wanted a one more moment when he could sit with his family and just talk and laugh without any fights, without any pretending. And it was here. He almost deprived himself from this only because he was afraid.
“Do you have someone, sweetheart? A family? I don´t like the idea that you are alone.”
Tony flinched because he suddenly remembered the god sitting in the next room trying to open the magical device. And he had no idea why it was him coming to his mind and not Pepper or Rhodey, or anyone else from his team who didn´t tend to have sudden murderous tendencies considering his person.
“No, mom,” he decided to go with a truth, “but I have a lot of friends.” Or at least some of them who really cared whether he was alive or dead on his workshop bench.
Howard didn´t talk much, he looked guilty as hell no matter how Tony tried to explain it was alright. He also spent some time alone with Jarvis, letting him meet JARVIS, which was maybe weird, but at the end a pleasant experience for both sides. Tony would swear he poked the butler in some soft spots with his AI because his eyes were a bit glassy when he looked back at Tony and thanked him for such an honor.
When Tony returned back to Loki, he was stupidly smiling and the named god was rolling his eyes, which only caused more amusement on Tony´s side.
“I assume the family meeting went well.”
Tony threw himself in front of the god on the ground in the same position as before. His legs seemed to recognize it and started to hurt just from the memory of long stiffened sitting. The device between them now was glowing with green energy and it took like three seconds until he understood what it meant.
“You opened it,” Tony said surprised. “How?”
“I have my ways.”
“No, really, tell me.”
A part of Loki´s magic was still visible in his eyes when he looked at him.
“I asked it to open for me.”
Tony tried to find a hint of Loki making fun of him, but there was none. Unfortunately, he was serious.
“Sure. Why not? We should have tried it first… I mean that is what everyone would think of – just ask. Simple. So what now? What is my job in this?”
Loki let his eyes drop to the box. “I need to supply this with my magic for at least a week and while doing so we must practice our minds to endure the trip back home.”
“Okay, that sounds like a fun. What will we do? Imagining sweet small ponies jumping over the rainbow?”
Loki sent a glare in his direction, pressing his fingers together over his lap.
“No. We need to make you concentrate.”
“Me? What about you?” Tony frowned.
“I know how to concentrate, Stark.”
“Me too,” Tony fought back, “how do you think I manage to invent anything?”
“By making things explode until something works out?”
Tony closed his mouth. “Yes, it might be, but there is a bit of concentration in that. Or at least in cleaning the mess afterwards.”
“Excuse me, sir,” Jarvis added his unnecessary bit to the conversation, “I must remind you that it is usually Dum-E and U who clear the mess.”
Tony gazed at his suit like Jarvis could feel his attitude from the deadly stare he was giving.
“Perfect, gang up on me. I don´t really mind.” He turned to Loki. “So what do you suggest, Reindeer Games?”
Loki made him shiver under his heavy gaze.
“I would propose a meditation first. And if it won´t work, then we´ll see. However, there is one more thing. We need you to get used to teleportation. We can not afford your panic to destroy our only chance.”
It was really enough for Tony just to hear the word teleportation and his heart already missed few beats. He didn´t really know how to answer that and Loki took his silence as a chance to continue.
“I know it won´t be pleasant for you, but you have to see it is necessary.”
Pleasant wasn´t a right description. More like deadly terrifying.
“Good. We can try it,” Tony forced the words out of his mouth, “but I would prefer this meditation first.”
Loki slowly nodded. “Of course.”
The god led him through some tips how to start and what they wanted to achieve. He calmly explained that concentrating on the place and time was a crucial aspect of their journey. If any of them gets distracted during the relocation it doesn´t have to end as good as the last time. They could end up even deeper in the past or future or dead…
“What is the precise place where we want to end?” Tony asked on his third day of mind training. “It should be the place we both know, right?”
Loki didn´t immediately answered his question and Tony soon found out why. There weren´t many places they both could visualize to the smallest details. One of those they actually could was Tony´s tower, probably full of searching Avengers.
“I can tell you the codes to override Jarvis´ protocols if something happens to me,” Tony made a suggestion, “he will turn the shield down and you could disappear immediately.”
“I can do that for you, sir,” Jarvis added, “as soon as I connect to the house.”
“Why would you do that, Stark? If I fail to bring you home safely, you don´t have to hold your end of the deal.”
“I guess you won´t harm me purposely.”
“I won´t.”
Tony stretched his legs from the stiffened position on the ground. “If something happens, it will be probably the reactor.” Tony pointed towards his chest and Loki´s eyes darted that way, looking both uncomfortable and curious. “If you tell others what is the problem, they can fix me, hopefully in time, and Jarvis will let you go away. Is that alright?”
Loki stated flatly “yes” without much thinking.
Tony knew that kind of talk was familiar to him. He needed to see they both had something from the deal or he would doubt it to the very core.
“Where do you keep your spare reactors?” The god asked on the fifth day, breaking Tony out of his meditation, which was a bit unexpected. But Tony pretty much mastered the thing, he was just trying to beat the god in his own game, so he kept practicing.
“In my workshop,” Tony answered. That was a good question. “Jarvis will tell Dum-E and he will find it until someone gets down. The kid saved me the last time so he has his experience.”
Loki seemed puzzled for a moment. “A kid? Do you have children?”
Tony shook his head. “Not in a real sense of word, but they are my creations.”
Loki didn´t look like he wanted to laugh or deny his statement, he seemed thoughtful, like there was something he remembered and Tony got this ridiculous idea that he was thinking about his own children. But that would mean the legends were true. He didn´t dare to ask.
“It´s time for us to try teleportation. Are you ready?”
Tony took a deep breath. “As ready as I´ll ever be.”
He left his spot to stand up face to face with Loki. He tried not to let his distress show, he did that for the most part of his life so it shouldn´t be such a problem.
“We will appear right in the kitchen. It´s not far and it will be quick. Try to close your eyes. We will see if that might work better.”
Tony nodded and swallowed a bump in his throat.
He felt a brush of Loki´s hand on his shoulder and a rush of magic rising through the air around them. When he opened his eyes again, they were standing on the kitchen´s floor. It was fast as Loki promised, but the panic still overpowered Tony as soon as his feet touched the ground and both of them bumped into the counter. Loki´s voice guided him into presence, but it took some time. Tony realized he was clinging to the god and Loki was allowing him to do that. He removed his hands from his clothes only when he saw that Tony was not about to suffocate anymore.
“Stark, talk to me. What is the real problem here.”
“It reminds me of New York,” he said without thinking. Lying would not help anything.
“I know this. But what exactly? What is the trigger? Is it the traveling itself?”
Tony tried to think about it.
“No. I guess it´s just that feeling that for some milliseconds I don´t know where I am. I´m nowhere. And it feels just like space.”
Loki frowned. “I see.”
“What?”
Loki didn´t look sure about what he was about to say.
“I think I might know the way, but the outcome of what I will show you can have two possible effects. Either you will be able to teleport without problems or you will get scared enough not to try it ever again.”
A challenge as a motivator for Tony Stark. Clever. “That sounds interesting. Let´s try it.” Because Tony was just that kind of a masochist.
Loki approached him again, resting his hand on Tony´s shoulder.
“Tell me what will happen.”
“We will stop in this space-between so you could see what is there.”
“Okay.”
Tony closed his eyes.
“Now, Stark. Look.”
He still felt Loki´s hands on his shoulders, but he could also sense he somehow moved and now stood behind him. Tony had to blink few times for his eyes to adjust to the bright light and when they did, his mouth probably opened so much it touched his feet.
“This is Yggdrasil. The world tree.” Loki´s voice was calm and quiet. Everything around them was.
Tony put himself together as much as he was able, because if he was going to freak out after all, he could at least do that later. The sight before him was astonishing. Still scary, but stunningly beautiful. His mind started to pick up quickly on his surroundings. He was a scientist, right? And this was something big. He had a moral responsibility to learn as much as he could. But at the same time it was hard to grasp what was really around him. It felt like reality, but somehow unreal. The tree was big – so big that it was impossible to even see how many branches there were and his roots were vanishing in the darkness. It was that black space which haunted Tony in his dreams.
“I fell into the void after Thor returned to Asgard. I was lost between the branches. The only thing which kept me sane was the strength of the tree. I knew it was there, even if I could not reach it.” Loki didn´t let any emotion slid into his story. Tony knew the god hated the pity. He perhaps wanted Tony to know he understood his fear.
“Is this the source of your magic?” he asked.
The god´s eyes narrowed. “You can feel it. You are indeed very sensitive to magic despite the fact you claim to hate it.”
Claim to hate it… Because everyone with good eyes could see Tony´s amazement seeping through every cell of his body. Loki´s smirk was a proof.
“Yes, every mage use Yggdrasil as the source of the magic.”
“Uh?” Tony didn´t really expect him to return to the topic.
“But those who were born with magic have their seidr also inside. It makes them more powerful.”
Tony balanced on his feet testing the structure of the branch beneath him. It was glowing with a white light, pulsing with energy.
It wouldn´t be probably wise to end the nice moment with something like: “can you deactivate someone´s seidr just you know… in case?” Instead he blurred out the first nonsense coming to his mind.
“Do you take your dates here often?”
Tony used a playful grin as his shield, when he knew he screwed up and he couldn´t take it back.
“No.”
“So I´m the first one, that´s nice to hear.”
Loki didn´t threw him a bity comment, instead he looked at him like he could see right through him even through all of the blackness behind him.
“We should return.”
Yes. Sure. Tony nodded. For a second he wondered if he will be able to see this again. By a pure instinct he got closer to the god, catching his arm into his hand. He didn´t care if the touch wasn´t technically needed. He felt better this way.
This time he didn´t close his eyes and therefore he felt a bit dizzy as they appeared back in the kitchen. But that was it. No panic attack.
“It seems like you are cured, Stark.”
“Lucky me,” he joked, but seriously he was just happy it worked out. They didn´t have any more time to waste.
Tony was about to sit down and start to repeat his mantra when Loki casted a shadow on his head. His tall figure towering over him.
“Go to your family. You can do this later.”
They both exchanged looks before Loki turned and aimed for a bathroom. The noise of the shower followed soon after.
Tony slowly stood up. He had two more days. Two more days to pretend what he was feeling for the god wasn´t going to ruin anything. That it may disappear when they got back like it never existed in the first place. He had two more days to not think about consequences. Two more days to dig deeper in the soul of a trickster god. Two more days to enjoy his family and then to say goodbye forever…
He turned towards the bathroom and walked in.