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“You mustn´t forget, Stark. Imagine your tower, don´t distract yourself, don´t think on anyone or anything and what is most essential, do not fight my magic.”
“Sure. Alrighty. But you still didn´t answer my questions so we are not really going anywhere until you´ll do.”
Tony smiled with his best all teeth-grin, but he could tell the god didn´t buy it. Probably Tony´s visible anxiety he´s been wearing for a better part of the day written all over his face was the reason why Loki was giving him the speech now, like they hadn´t talked about it hundred times over and over.
The truth was Tony was scared senseless. But that could be expected. He was about to perform a magic together with a person he still didn´t fully trust despite the fact he randomly slept with that said person for past weeks. Beside the point it could all go horribly wrong and neither of them have to come out of it alive, there were still some unsaid things hanging in the air between them. Like for example what will happen if they´ll actually do it right and they will suddenly face the reality again? How will Tony explain everything that happened to him? Did he want to explain it at all? Will this thing between him and Loki end the first minute they set a foot in their time? Did he want it to end?
There were tons of questions forming in his mind since he´d woken up this morning next to the sleeping god. Suddenly the realization was there - he was coming home, they´d done everything they could to prepare him and he´d be leaving his family today and what was the worst - he´d got familiar with Loki´s everyday presence to such a point that he needed to know where they stood – preferably right now.
He´d got used to be around the god, listen to him speak about things Tony didn´t know even existed, watching his smile when Tony started to think aloud, seeing him meditate when he was almost blasting with energy or following him through the process of preparing potions to keep them fit – they needed those daily now.
In Tony´s eyes Loki wasn´t a mere madman who once had tried to conquer his home planet. He had seen his reasons and he had seen the background of his actions and Tony himself was surprised by realizing he understood.
And when he was now looking into those emerald greens he had to ask himself – what would happen if they had met in different circumstances.
“Go to bid your farewell,” Loki said changing the topic and nodding subtly towards the doors. Tony decided to play along this time. He turned and met first with his mother who was already confidently walking towards him, drawing him into the strongest embrace he´s every received.
“I´m so proud, Tony and I wish for you to be happy. I will always love you.” God, if it was hard not to let his heart break when he saw her crying. He set a kiss on her cheek before they parted, trying to imprint her face into his memory.
Jarvis was next and he first tried to shake Tony´s hand but than he hugged him too. Tony spent some time in both of those embraces as he knew he will not get another one.
And then at last, it was his father.
Howard Stark looked like someone was dying and Tony knew the reason. He was the person who was here with him and Loki the whole time and eventually what seemed to be impossible, happened. The son and father had found their way to each other only to be separated again.
“Be safe, Tony,” he said, voice slightly shaking, “I am so sorry for everything I will do to you. Please don´t forget on this moment. Don´t forget because I have a very important thing to say to you.” He was on the verge of tears and Tony could not recall any moment he´s seen his father in such a moment of weakness.
Howard squeezed both of his hands, smiling through the pain on his face. “I love you. I´m proud of you, just like your mother. You are and always will be my greatest creation.” Tony nodded because he was not able to talk. But after a second of shocked silence, he opened his mouth to reply. He would never forgive himself if he didn´t say his father what he always wanted. He had a feeling like he spent the longest time in his father´s embrace, but it was okay, he almost made a joke about this being some strange therapy prank, but he stopped himself in time.
He let his father help him into the suit. When he was ready, Howard walked a few steps back and Tony will never ever forget the look he had on his face when he took the sight in.
“It´s time,” Loki reminded him. Tony´s eyes slid towards the box he was holding in his hands. Hopefully, it will be enough. No one beside Loki and him knew how dangerous was their travel and Tony preferred it that way.
He returned to his post in front of the god and slowly placed his hands on the box. The wood was warm and comforting, the magic inside felt peaceful and steady, everything which Tony was not. He briefly closed his eyes and took few steading breaths.
He knew what to do. They´d been practicing it. He had to remain calm…
“Ready?”
“Yes.”
Maybe the mistake was he took a one last look on the people standing nearby. He saw his father holding his mother as she was silently crying and he saw Jarvis with a longing look on his face and suddenly Tony knew his heart was breaking for real and there was no way to stop it.
He felt the urge of magic trying to contain him and all he wanted to do was to scream: wait, no, I´m not ready. But it was too late. His pulse was up in the clouds, he could feel himself shaking and for the second he wondered if Loki could feel it. If in their possibly last second alive will the god blame him for the failed attempt. Did he see Tony´s glassy eyes as the sign of their doom? Will Loki at least survive and will he get another chance to return?
Tony closed his eyes because he didn´t want to see where the magic would take them. There were so many places coming to his mind even when he was trying to suppress them. Tower. His Tower. Come on. Please…
“Stark.”
Tony opened his eyes to the sunlight behind the god´s back. He had to move to the side a bit to see anything.
“Where?” he asked confused. This looked like his parent´s garden. But that was not right. They were supposed to be falling somewhere in the void or fighting dinosaurs with all of Tony´s luck.
“We are still here,” Loki clarified with a calm voice, he didn´t look angry or disappointed, “you need to calm down.”
Tony started to laugh. Hard. And somewhere between the tears finally began to roll from his eyes and slid down his cheeks. He tried to cover his ridiculous mental state with his hands, but it was a lost fight. His ragged breathing was deafening in the silence of the nature around them. And Loki knew. Loki knew Tony just threw away hours and hours of practicing.
“Come on, yell at me, I deserve it. We could have been dead by now,” Tony stated harshly, “call me weak again. How was it precisely? How did you call me last time? Pathetic?” Tony was barking at the wrong tree, he was aware of it. He wanted Loki to scream and shout and his stoic attitude was making him crazy. It was hard to move in the suit. He felt clumsy and out of breath and then he felt hands wrapping around his shoulders and pinning him to the place. On the contrary that was alright, that cleared his head a bit and he was finally able to recognize Loki´s voice through the beating of his heart.
“I counted with your weakness. However much you resemble gods, you are only a human.”
Tony stared at him. Speechless for a moment.
“Did you just make me a very weird compliment?”
Loki´s lips popped up into a half-suppressed smile. “I think I did.” Tony wiped away the rest of the vet spots around his eyes, taking the god by a collar and drawing him into a kiss, shocking them both. He kissed Loki slowly, but passionately, the exact way he knew Loki liked. When they parted, the god kept his hands around drawing Tony close.
“You asked if I would take you with me in the case I would not need you for the travel,” Tony took a deep breath knowing that he might not like what is about to be said, “If you had asked me three weeks ago I would say yes, but then I would probably leave you here the first minute I would be sure to survive without you. Not because I considered you my enemy, but because you did. And there would be still enough Avengers in my time to see Earth as a safe place.”
Tony nodded absently. It was logical. It was something Tony would do if he wouldn´t have some moral standards and the horrified face of Point Break in front of his eyes.
“But now I must confess that I grew quite fond of our… alliance.” Tony smirked. “I wouldn’t leave you here. I do not know anyone else on Earth who could keep up with me intellectually. I believe we can still be useful for each other.”
Silver-tongue. Tony now understood the title. Loki knew his way with words.
“And my other question? Will you cease any communication with me when we will arrive?”
“It depends,” Loki murmured, “do you want me to?”
“I don´t know.”
“Then we will see.”
Loki let his hands fall down from where they were attached to Tony´s armor. The box appeared in them for the second time this day.
“You forgot your helmet. Again.”
“I left it there.” Even if it will disappear. Even if it won´t help anyone to remember him. He wanted to leave there a piece of himself. Huh, listen to him… what a sentimental wreck he became.
“Are you ready? This time for real?”
Tony laughed. “Yeah. Come on. Let´s rock n´ roll. What exactly are our chances to survive this unharmed?”
Loki shook his head with a vicious smile playing on his lips.
“You don´t want to know.”
With returning smile Tony grabbed the box, his fingers slightly touching Loki´s.
“Let´s do it then, Reindeer games.”
OOO
Howard Stark stood with his wife and Jarvis in the empty room. Looking around he couldn´t remember why he was there.
OOO
The Stark Tower was a quiet place for the last weeks. It was odd and Steve didn´t like the atmosphere one bit, but it suited its reason.
Tony was gone.
“We need to tell the world. We can´t keep it down any longer.”
Natasha was right. It´s been almost a month since Tony disappeared together with Thor´s brother Loki and they haven´t returned yet. What more, they left no trace behind them, nothing to work with, nothing to assume they were still on Earth or… no, they were alive. When Pepper had talked to him the very first day Tony went missing she was confident about the fact: “Tony has survived worse things. He´ll probably end up saving himself as always.” She believed in the engineer unconditionally and she knew him best even when they weren´t quite together anymore. Colonel Rhodes had the same opinion, although after so much time Steve could feel everyone was on the doubt.
So they gathered on the main floor, thinking it all over again, trying to find anything they haven´t tried yet and decide if it was right time to send the message to the world and if it will help in any way.
“I know that with information out, we can expect more attacks, but people are not blind. Tony is a public figure.”
“But what will we tell them?” Clint asked looking at his boots. Even the archer missed their host and their ridiculous brawls. The tower felt different without Stark´s smart remarks and jokes around.
“I don´t think it´s a good idea. We should wait…” Dr. Bruce Banner looked like he hasn´t slept for a long time and it was mostly the truth.
Thor stayed silent for most of their meetings. He had been taking all the guilt for his brother´s deeds and this one was no exception. Although Steve thought he suffered both for Tony and Loki. He could not stop caring for his brother, no matter what Loki did.
The Asgardian shrugged, he looked up, but said nothing.
“Thor, what do you think?” Steve tried to encourage him. Thor returned him the look full of uncertain emotions. He opened his mouth, but his words got stuck somewhere in his throat, his eyes widening.
“What is it?” Steve asked unfolding his hands and straightening up into his full height.
“That energy…”
He didn´t have a chance to finish, when the sudden blinding light in the middle of the room made them shield their eyes and take a step back. Steve saw Thor moving towards the source at instance, but the god himself stopped when the scene before them cleared and on their surprise they saw Tony in his suit on the floor and Loki partly lying on him, supporting his weight with his hand next to Tony´s head.
Steve could say that everyone was in too much shock to move forward or say anything for a moment and the two people in the middle of their circle didn´t pay them any attention to start with.
Steve heard Loki saying something, but only after he repeated it, Steve could make it out for what it was. The god seemed to whisper to Tony´s ear few simple words filled with excitement and relief.
“We made it.”
It was the first time Steve saw Loki genuinely smile, even shortly laugh and he didn´t know what to do with that sight. Even Thor seemed to be taken aback, calling his brother to gain his attention. It didn´t quite work as Loki was looking at Tony only, he talked to him and Tony replied, smiled as well.
It was a very strange picture. Steve was confused. Now when they were both clearly alive, it didn´t look like Tony was a hostage. But he didn´t look good either. He was pale and as the seconds were passing by Steve could sense that he was having troubles to breath properly and then the blue light from his reactor started to waver and Tony´s face flickered with pain.
Loki mumbled something to him and Tony nodded. The god was suddenly up on his feet and everyone except Thor was ready to take him down if necessary.
“Jarvis,” he addressed the AI looking straight at Steve with pursed lips. His fingers were twitching at his side.
“Loki Laufeyson is no longer on the threat list. He is allowed to enter the premises included sir´s workshop,” Jarvis was calmly stating, “all the contact is cut within the Tower, no one is allowed or will be able to alert any authorities about Loki Laufeyson´s presence.”
Loki looked up at the ceiling like he didn´t expect the last part coming.
“Who gave you the orders, Jarvis?” Bruce asked.
“Sir himself, doctor Banner.”
“Loki,” Thor tried again and this time the god turned his way.
“I am sorry, Thor, but I do not have time for this,” he said and disappeared.