From The Ashes

Bucky felt his knees crack against hard concrete as he doubled over, violently expelling the contents of his stomach. His left arm was, in fact, useless. He leaned heavily on his right to hold himself up as the world spun around him, vision blurred and dark. He was vaguely aware of Vinnie nearby, doing the same thing he was. Hands smoothed through his hair, pulling it away from his face.

“The first few times are always disorienting. It gets easier.” Her voice was soft, touch gentle. He heard Vinnie groan a few feet away. “Don’t you believe that lyin’ she-devil, son.” Followed by more retching sounds and Anwyn’s indignant snort. Bucky shoved himself partly upright, still on his knees, leaning heavily into her leg and peered around. A garage? A large garage, with cars under covers and tools strewn about. Eira and Rocky were a few feet away, completely unphased.

The world spun slower and slower until everything fell into sharp relief. So sharp it almost hurt to look at anything, and the dim light from the small windows above burned like a thousand suns. Fingers still held his hair back and smoothed across his shoulders, trying to soothe the nausea. Finally, he pushed all the way to his feet and Anwyn tugged his left arm over her shoulders to help balance him. He was still woozy and sincerely hoped he never had to do that again.

Vinnie was on his feet next, leaning against the car and more or less recovered. He was glaring down at a grinning Eira. Her blue eyes sparkled with mischief and she brushed a few tendrils of brown hair out of her eyes. “Come on. Ya get better at this all the time. Gonna start takin’ ya on missions!” She teased him. “Can it.” His retort might have sounded harsh if he hadn’t been smiling at her. “So where are we, kid? This don’t look inviting. You promised me sun and beer.”

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Oh, how wrong Vinnie had been. Beautiful, inviting, incredible. Paradise. This was exactly the sort of place most people would love to spend months in. Bucky had gawked as they’d clomped into a massive house from the garage…the house was stunning. Anwyn had not been joking when she said her line of work paid her well...the house had to have cost her a fortune.

Eira had tossed bags on the tiled kitchen floor and started rummaging around in the fridge as soon as they had arrived. She’d pinned all of them with a pointed look and mumbled something about jumping making her hungry. Anwyn had engaged in an animated conversation (argument?) in Spanish with Rocky, leaving Bucky and Vinnie to wander.

The two of them shuffled aimlessly around and discovered just how large the property actually was. A sprawling four-bedroom, three bath with a guest house nestled in a beautiful back yard. Vinnie had quickly laid claim to it, grumbling about being too old for room-mates. Flawless landscaping and a small fountain made the backyard seem like an oasis. The décor reminded him of Anwyn in many ways, she obviously spent more time here than the other properties he had seen. The large black and white cat strutting around as if it owned the place gave further testament to that observation. She had always adored cats.

Bucky was perched on a sofa in the small office he'd found, filled with books. Definitely Anwyn's, and he made a mental note to see about borrowing a few. He was stroking the purring animal with his right arm, irked about the uselessness of his left, when Rocky came strolling in. “We need to get started on your arm sooner rather than later.” Noticing the instant tension in the blue-eyed man’s posture he plopped down next to him and smiled. “Anwyn will be present. And we can make sure you don’t feel a thing. The schematics indicated you have some feeling with the prosthetic. ” Bucky nodded. “Some. They connected it to nerves somehow. I feel pressure, temperature.” Rocky hummed and waggled his fingers at the cat. “Nerve block or full sedation, your choice.”

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The lab Rocky had wanted to work in was extraordinary, full of equipment that Bucky couldn’t even begin to imagine a purpose for. Suits and weapons lined one wall, and another was filled with screens and computers. An archive of sorts, perhaps? It was evident that each Sentinel had a workspace given the multiple rooms, but Rocky had designed it all. The lab was easily sixty feet under the house, cut into the soil and reinforced with concrete and layers of metals that Bucky could only guess at. The entrance was hidden behind a bookcase in Anwyn's office. "Like something out of a mystery novel..." he'd thought to himself, with a touch of amusement.

Rocky had led him to a small room, clearly the room they used for treating injuries since it was filled with medical equipment. He’d administered a nerve block for the left arm, drawn blood from his right and set up a machine Bucky didn’t recognize to take scans of the left arm. He squirmed uneasily as Rocky secured the restraints on the stiff mattress. Laying there bare chested, with bright lights above, and being bound was too familiar. At first he'd argued, but Rocky had made it clear that it was necessary for at least the arms to keep him from moving too much during the procedure. His chest and legs remained free, at least.

Anxiety clawed at his throat and burned through his chest; this was almost more than he could stand and nothing had even happened yet. Some blood drawn, vitals measured. The scans for his arm had finished and Rocky was peering intently at the projection on the wall above Bucky's head. “Well of course they put it THERE. ” He grumbled. “Dios mio. Alright. We’re gonna get started. We won’t have much longer before that device goes back online. I can start a Valium drip for your nerves since you refuse full sedation..."

The sounds of cabinets opening and closing sounded behind him and Bucky squirmed again. “You sure you know what the hell you’re doing?” His voice was low and quiet. The thin man leaned over him, every movement conveying confidence, and gently inserted a small IV into his right arm. “Moreso than your previous associates. Give me an hour, and you’ll be as free of a man as we can make you.” He patted the right shoulder in an amiable manner.

”Free to go talk to a certain little bird about all that mess in your head about her. ” Hiss eyes snapped to Rocky’s in shock. “What?” Rocky’s eyes were sparkling with mirth. “I am more just a pretty face and a big brain!” Laughter bubbled up from deep in his belly. “I can read any thought not well hidden. Be still now, time to fix you before she breaks this pretty face of mine!”

Any additional questions or argument Bucky might have made slipped from him like water flowing out of a broken vase as the Valium flooded his mind. A dose that would have been lethal to a normal person was just enough to send him into an intoxicated, barely coherent haze. He only just registered Anwyn entering the lab a few minutes later and removing his boots, tucking a soft blanket around his feet and legs. He could hear her speaking to him softly; words he understood but couldn’t make sense of. Bucky felt the familiar sensation of the plates in his left arm opening as Rocky set to work.

His mind slipped in and out of past and present, consciousness and unconsciousness. Memories of his family, childhood memories of rescuing Steve from fights he couldn’t win and various adventures. He could see them in his mind, the two of them laughing as they sprinted through a dark alley after sneaking out at night so they could go to a late movie.

Bucky had flirted with the girls in front of them for half the movie until Steve had threatened to dump his popcorn on his head. Fits of giggles and whispers broke out and he’s nudged Steve in the ribs indignantly. He knew his chances had sank faster than Steve did the time he’d dared him to leap into the deep end of the neighborhood swimming pool.

The scene shifted to cozy nights curled in bed with Anwyn under the thick down comforter, reading to each other into the wee hours. Inevitably, this ended with the book tossed aside and the two of them wrestling around in the bed laughing. He felt himself smiling against her lips as she tried to wiggle from under him. “Say uncle and I’ll let ya up doll.” He dug his fingers into her sides and she laughed harder. “Not a chance in hell, Sergeant Barnes!” came the gasping reply right before she angled her legs into his belly, fingers into his armpits and managed to flip him over. She pinned his arms over his head, wrapped her legs around his waist and grinned at him triumphantly.

Memories of missions in WWII... Sniping Nazis from impossible angles, followed by victorious hooting from Falsworth. More than a few wounds, both physically and to his pride….that fueled the desire to do more, be better, to win. Dirt-smeared scraps of paper that served as letters to his loved ones…and well-worn, well-read letters in perfect cursive that came packaged with candies for him to share. Dernier laughing maniacally and swearing in French before blowing something all to hell. A zip-line, a train barreling along at an unnerving speed….the sensation of falling.

Then it was cold and dark. Screaming until his voice gave out and searing pain in his arm. Deprivation. Zola’s face slipped across his vision and smiled viciously at him. “You vil be ze new fist ov HYDRA.” He could hear the handler calmly, slowly stating the words. One by one, control and humanity fading.

He forced his eyes open in a panic, jerking against the restraints. Bucky whipped his head around wildly, trying to determine where he was. Beyond terror, he felt his control slipping, panic allowing his conditioning to take hold…allowing the assassin to take control. “Let me up, let me go!”

"Pajarita, necesito diez minutos mas...” Bucky heard the words but didn’t understand them. His eyes focused on the dark haired woman who’d pressed her arms down over his shoulders and down his stomach from above him, pinning him to the table. Her face loomed closer to his. “Easy dear, its alright. Almost done.” He thrashed around against her weight and the restraints. “LET ME GO!” He screamed. Anwyn winced and looked away, staring at Rocky. “Mas rapido…he can’t handle this right now.”

The blanket was kicked to the floor as the panicked man thrashed around, screaming obscenities. He felt a restraining arm lift, fingers brushing over his brow and pierced Anwyn with an angry glare. Very little of Bucky was present…he was all icy fury and the promise of death. Only the faintest glimmer of recognition and fear lay hidden deep beyond the cold anger.

He whipped his head away from her and kicked out again, pulling at the restraints on his arms. A metallic screech echoed in the room. The restraints had been crafted from a combination of alloys, primarily vibranium, so she wasn’t worried he’d break free. These were the same kind of restraints used to hold Sentinels during injections and none of them had managed to break them yet.

She pressed her arms down against him harder. “C’mon Bucky, hang in there. He’s nearly done."

Anwyn closed her eyes, lips going into a tight line as Bucky let out another blood-curdling scream again. “FUCKIN' LET ME GO! LET. ME. GO!” He fought against her arms where she pinned him. Strong. Even with one arm down. What Zola had done to him had made him so impossibly strong. He screamed again and began cursing in Russian as Rocky sorted through wires, digging deeper into the arm with his brow furrowed. Bucky was teetering on the edge of losing himself to the Winter Soldier.

“Hurry up!” Anwyn spat. Rocky shook his head at her. “Can’t rush. It’s too close to the power source. You want him fried? Do something, he knows you!” She took a deep breath as Bucky screamed and cursed at her again. The restraint on his right arm let out another metallic groan as he pulled against it. “Fuck me sideways, he may actually break it…” Anwyn cursed to herself internally.

“As time goes by,
You must remember this…”

Her voice was soft, right next to Bucky’s ear and he screamed again, still thrashing. He swung his head at her and she leaned aside to avoid the attempted head-butt. Rocky glanced up for a moment, unused to hearing her sing. She had a beautiful singing voice. A voice that had earned her the name "Nightingale", but she rarely sang.
Bucky’s eyes darted to the right, where her face was barely visible. His breathing was rough, eyes wild, face flushed. Sweat beaded his brow and he was shaking from head to toe. Anwyn slowly lowered her face back down to his ear and continued to sing, voice barely audible.

“A kiss is still a kiss,
A sigh is just a sigh…”

He jerked against her arms and the restraints again, but didn’t scream. His jaw was set, forehead furrowed...Every muscle in his body strained and tensed. The right restraint gave out and snapped as Anwyn threw herself on top of him. She pinned his right arm down with both of hers, and clenched his torso with her thighs. Her newly healed shoulder ached and every muscle in her body throbbed at the exertion to keep him pinned. She bit her lip as he pushed up against her, fighting to be free.

Rocky jabbed him with a syringe full of something she could only assume was another sedative and Bucky’s strength failed him. "That won't last long and any more will likely kill him. Keep him down." Came a muffled voice as Rocky returned his attention to the task at hand. Anwyn glanced over at Rocky, and then back to Bucky. He was clearly drugged but his steel eyes were feral. Anwyn stared back. Determined. She saw something familiar blossom in the deep blue depths as she took another breath and continued the song.

“The fundamental things apply as time goes by,
And when two lovers woo….
They still say "I love you,"
On that you can rely.”

Rocky worked as quickly as he dared, wanting to get his part of this done and get out of the room. His actions had partly been responsible for triggering his laconic patient into this episode. He could defend himself well enough, but not against a man that Anwyn would kill him for killing. A rampaging James Barnes would be a force to be reckoned with. One his friend would be responsible for subduing…She would not be gentle if pressed, and that would shatter trust she had managed to build. And break her heart. Her affection for HYDRA's living weapon was evident, at least to a man that could read minds.

“No matter what the future brings, as time goes by,
Moonlight and love songs never out of date.”

Bucky was silent, his breathing more even as he stared up at her, focused on her voice. Her eyes were closed now. The song was familiar. Rudy Vallee. It was by Rudy Vallee. From 1943. He took in a shaky breath and his entire body shuddered. His heart still pounded and panic still flooded his senses but awareness had begun to seep back into his veins. This wasn’t Siberia. This wasn’t Zola using him as a human lab-rat. This was Anwyn, her Sentinels, and this was help. This was a chance to be free.

“Hearts full of passion, jealousy, and hate,
Woman needs man, and man must have his mate
That no one can deny
It's still the same old story”

Blue eyes closed and he felt Rocky jerk something from his arm, followed by a metallic clang on the floor and a crunch as the curly haired man stomped on whatever he dropped. “Got it.” More metallic clicks sounded as the wiry little man furiously put his arm right again. He became aware of the sheer strength in Anwyn’s hands as she restrained him, the heat radiating from her body. He could feel her shaking, despite the force she exerted on him.

“A fight for love and glory,
A case of do or die
The world will always welcome lovers…
as time goes by…”

Rocky scrambled out of the room, calling for Eira to meet him in the lab. Bucky heard the words “…Barely in control…” as the footsteps faded. He heard Anwyn mutter at Stormy to seal the room…she was sealing herself in here with him? After this?

He could feel her breath across his sweat-slicked skin, and opened his eyes slowly. Gaze drifting downward, he took in the faint glow from her veins, and then he looked back up at her. She’d bitten her lip so hard earlier that he could see the teeth marks. Familiar eyes had turned a shade of copper to match her veins. She was strung as tightly as a bowstring, ready to snap.

“Are ya with me?” she asked softly. Bucky opened his mouth to speak but jerked a nod instead. "Ya know who I am, who you are?" He nodded again. Astonishment filled him as all the fight left her and she slumped over, burying her face into the mattress next to his head. She released her iron grip on his arm and moved her hands to his shoulders. He was afraid to move and startle her…but he could hear her breathing hitch with the undeniable hiccup sounds of crying.