Eclipse
Erik was in his bed, he wasn’t trying to sleep, he was trying to process what had just happened outside a few minutes ago. T’Challa kissed him. It was a quick kiss, over in less than 5 seconds. But still a kiss nonetheless. His cousin. Who was dating makes a few months now.
Why did he do that, why why why? He still kept thinking about the feeling of his cousin’s lips on his own. Something he had dreamt about millions of times before, something that he almost had done a few year back.
If they had kissed back then would they be together? He doubted, things between cousins never last, it’d been a one night thing for 2 hormonal teens.
But T’Challa had kissed him now, 4 years later. Erik still can’t shake the attraction off him and that kiss just made it stronger and possibly harder to deal with. He didn’t want that.
The night went on and he wasn’t able to sleep, it was probably 3 AM already, but he didn’t care. He wouldn’t be able to sleep if he didn’t confront his cousin.
He exited his bedroom quietly, some guards were still up and greeted him as he walked through the dark halls of the royal palace.
He knocked slightly on T’Challa’s door, surprisingly he was awake, and opened it.
“Erik it’s so late, what do you want?” He rubbed his eyes.
“Let me in so we can talk”
“Ok” He gestured Erik in and closed the door. “What’s bothering you Erik?”
He looked at T’Challa, he was clearly restless which was very unlike him, he was always composed and secure, but now he gave a anxious vibe. He could see the impact of that little kiss on him as well.
“What was that about? That stupid kiss? Aren’t you dating Nakia?” He was blunt, he thought there was no need to ignore the elephant in the room.
“Uhh… Well. You know how it is, I mean you don’t” He was now even more distressed, cheeks tinted with pink and sweaty hands.
“Yeah I don’t.” He sighed. “Look, you like me? You know were cousins and all right?” He was trying to sound composed , but he really was very anxious inside.
“Ummm…” He looked at the floor. “I-I do. A bit.”
“Why didn’t you tell me before you started dating?” He groaned. He was happy he was straightforward at least.
“I guess I always did, growing up with you was fun… but we’re cousins, some people would find it weird. I guess you too find it huh?” He sat on his bed. “Sorry If I made you uncomfortable, it’s just the way you sounded earlier, I thought you felt the same.” He frowned.
He would try to not tell him right away he did in fact reciprocate, so he’d try to be more subtle. “But what about Nakia? Don’t you like her?”
He sighed. “I do but, seems like our relationship isn’t fated to work.”
“Why is that?”
“She is not really a stable girl, she goes where her heart orders. I doubt she would want to be kept by a relationship with someone of royal blood, a heir to the throne no less. I do feel sincere love coming from her in these few months, but it’s just a feeling I get you see? She is always out on her missions and patrols, I barely see her, this type of instability is not for me. You understand?” He was being true to his feelings, T’Challa adored Nakia’s company, she was a fun girl, very sweet and their months together have been happy ones, but the distance aches his hearts sometimes and that’s something he can’t not avoid.
“That’s… harsh I guess. Are you saying you’ll be breaking up?” T’Challa frown just got harsher.
“I don’t want to, but I don’t think it’s my right to bind her dreams to a relationship. It’d bed better if we stopped right now so we don’t suffer more in the future.” T’Challa looked vulnerable, his heart was torn of course, but the pain of having to end a relationship so early hurt just as much.
“Uhh… well. I guess I should be off then. Hopefully I helped a bit” Even though he was the one who needed some help,
T’Challa grabbed his hand.
Erik sighed. “C’mon man, it’s late.”
T’Challa released his hand. “Sorry.”
Erik turned to him. He looked devastated. His heart hurt at the sight.
“About that…”
T’Challa looked at him.
“You didn’t think wrong.” Erik got closer and climbed on top of T’Challa. “Should we… start where we left off, those years ago? No interruptions this time.”
T’Challa was speechless, so he just nodded. Erik didn’t think twice, next thing he knew his lips were locked with his cousin’s
They ended sleeping later than they intended to.
--
T’Challa woke up feeling the arms of his cousin hugging his chest. It was their day off so they could sleep in.
What have we done. He thought. Sure he liked Erik, but he was still dating Nakia, he’d have to talk to her as soon.
He tried moving but Erik squeezed him tighter. “We can get up later, cuz” He said groggly.
He just had lost his virginity to his cousin.
He buried his head in his hands, feeling ashamed. But last night wasn’t unpleasant. Having relationships with a cousin wasn’t forbidden, much less with another man. But he still felt weird.
He had no idea how he would deal with this.
--
Some Dora Milaje were suspicious of both Erik and T’Challa leaving the bedroom together. They ate together silently, Shuri looked at both of them like she knew something they didn’t, that left both of them a little nervous but they tried to ignore her.
The rest of the day went on without anything happening, they decided to not talk about it, but they ended up not talking at all, much to Erik’s dismay, he was hoping something would come out of this.
Not only that T’Challa had to talk to Nakia, he knew their relationship wouldn’t work (for many different reasons) but he wasn’t feeling ready for it.
Shuri entered his bedroom without knocking.
“Shuri, how many times I’ve told you to knock?” T’Challa said, annoyed.
“Where is Erik, big brother?”
“In his room, probably”
“I wanted to talk to you both.” She climbed in her brother’s bed.
“Why”
“It’s just I saw you two kissing on the hall”
T’Challa froze. “You saw what?”
“You two kissing. I was hiding behind a plant.”
For a young girl she sure was really smart, T’Challa had thought.
“Shuri, don’t tell baba about it ok? It’s a secret. Promise me you won’t tell anyone?” T’Challa held his pinky out to her little sister.
“Fine, but I get your desserts from dinner!” She smiled and pinky swore to not tell anyone.
“Well, let’s go tell Erik, you need to promise him too.” T’Challa and Shuri left their rooms to talk to Erik
--
“Man how the hell didn’t you see her yesterday?”
“She was hiding Erik, calm down.” T’Challa placed his hand on his cousin’s shoulder.
“How am I supposed to stay calm? Who guarantees she was the only one that saw that whole thing?”
“Shuri promised to stay quiet about it, were safe for now.”
“Fine.” Erik groaned and sat on his bed. “When are you planning to talk to Nakia?”
“Soon” T’Challa wanted to avoid that conversation with Nakia as much as he possibly could.
“You’re postponing, you two need to sort out your issues. Do not know what to tell her?”
T’Challa shook his head. “I can’t simply tell her, ‘I’m sorry, I’ve slept with my cousin’”
“Man you don’t need to be so blunt, just tell her that it isn’t working out and you need someone who can be present for you.” Erik crossed his arms in annoyance.
“I guess that would do.” He knew she’d be hurt, but there was no avoiding it. It would hurt him as well.
Erik cupped T’Challa’s face.
“Look… I know this is hard, we probably should have waited before we did something as well, your heart is probably a mess. I had my fault in that as well.” He breathed in. “But these years would’ve been complete shit if it wasn’t for you, you helped me a great bunch. I just want you to know that what I feel for you is sincere. So whatever choice you make, I’ll support you one hundred percent, if you want to stay with Nakia I won’t mind, we can never talk about this again but if you choose me, I’ll make you not regret it.”
T’Challa was touched, he could feel that Erik’s feelings were true.
The choice was his. Stay with Nakia, but having his heart ache for her when she is away for so long or stay by Erik, who loves him sincerely. But ultimately breaking Nakia’s heart.
So many things factored into that choice and it wasn’t easy.
“I’ll… need some time to think. If that’s ok with you.”
He took Erik’s right hand. “I think I might’ve been jumping to conclusions too soon, we’ve been dating makes 6 or 7 months. I’ll try seeing if it really doesn’t work.”
Erik nodded, sure it hurt, but he had to respect his cousin’s decision. “Whatever makes you happy.”
“Thanks. Erik” T’Challa smiled, the weight on his shoulders lifted a little.
He left the room.
Erik layed down on his bed, trying to not feel hurt. But he knew that he had to let T’Challa have time for it, or it would hurt even more.
Emotions suck he thought as he tried taking a nap.