Can We Not Please?
Bucky sat in his room strumming a sour note on his ukulele, humming happily.
Tony had helped him learn two chords, but the more Bucky played them, the more he realized Tony had no clue how to play either. Wanda had revealed that her room was right next door to Bucky’s. She loved the new pick that they had gotten her. She has suggested that she could teach Bucky a lot more about music than Tony could. He believed her.
After Bucky carefully put his ukulele away, he had taken an hour long shower, letting himself relax under the warm water.
He brushed his teeth for the first time in a while with the toothbrush Tony got him. He stood in front of the mirror debating whether or not to shave the stubble growing back, but eventually decided against it. Bucky could now finally wear his own clothing instead of stealing Steve’s. He wore a plain grey shirt and jeans with the new green army jacket he got. Steve might like that. He placed the hat Tony got him on his head, even though it looked a little funky at first, and he finally felt like he could own things for himself. Things were going to be ok.
There was a loud knock on his door, wiping his hands on his jeans, Bucky got up to answer. They kept knocking over and over, pretty loudly too.
“Yeah, jeez. Hold on,” he mumbled as he swung open the door.
It was Thor.
“James!” Thor greeted, “My brother Loki has spoken to me, and he would like to see you.”
Oh. Loki.
“Uh, alright. When?” Bucky nodded.
“Now.” Thor explained, grabbing Bucky's wrist and dragging him out of his room.
“Are you coming with me?”
“Goodness, no. He asked for you alone.”
Alone.
Thor continued to drag him towards Loki’s chambers. When they reached the door of the room, Bucky had to make sure he was really doing this. He then unlocked the door and pulled it wide open.
Loki’s feet were hanging off the end of his bed, his hands draped over his chest. He raised his head when Bucky entered. Bucky noticed how different things about Loki looked, like the fact that his hair was a mess, and his eyes were red and puffy. He noticed the radio in the corner was playing some jazz, gentle music filling the room. Loki shifted his position so he was laying on his stomach facing Bucky.
“Hey, Buck. We have to talk.” Bucky slid into a comfy looking chair facing Loki’s bed. He attempted to suppress his nervousness.
“What are we talking about?” Bucky questioned.
Loki rubbed the bridge of his nose. “We’ve talked before when I wasn’t sober, and I’ve been told that I freaked out on you.”
“Well, it was really more of a one-sided conversation.”
Loki shook his head. “I hope I didn’t do anything too bad to you. I just wanted to apologize.”
Bucky ran a hand through his hair. He was still getting used to having it short. “I don’t think you completely understand. I’m over it, really. I was just a little surprised by it at the time.”
“Good then, I was hoping you wouldn’t hate me.” He seemed to be somewhere else. “Just one more question,” Loki moved his shoulders around before continuing, “Do you swing that way?”
Bucky stared at him in confusion. “What?”
Loki laughed loudly. “Come on Buck, we all have attractive people we keep our eyes on. I can’t be the only one who is uh, interested.” His eyes flickered across the room before his voice trailed off.“I am just wondering because you seem awfully tense around Steve. I’m sure he wants to bang you or something.
Bucky could feel his face heating up. “I don’t want to talk about that.”
Loki held up his hands in defense. “Alright, that’s alright.” They stood in silence.
Bucky was becoming a little uncomfortable with how long nothing was being said between the two. “Uh, can I-”
“Oh, yeah, you can leave,” Loki said, waving his hand and taking his eyes away from Bucky.
Bucky let out a breath. “Why hasn't anyone tried to kill me yet?” Loki ignored the question and asked his own instead.
“Why would we want to kill you? You’re my play toy. Why would I get rid of someone so...”
“Listen, I’m not interested alright! I’m still figuring out my stance with Steve.”
Loki stood up from the desk and moved closer to Bucky. He reached into his drawer next to his bed and pulled out a small knife.
Fear flashed across Bucky’s face. “Please.”
“You know, nothing you say means anything to me. You’re worthless compared to me. I am a God. If you are staying here you will do as I say. I say dance, and you dance.” When Bucky tried to move out of the room he flicked the knife open. Loki pushed the point against the crook of his own elbow. “Don’t leave me.”
“I’m not, I’m not ready. For any of this. Maybe someday I will be but-.”
“Fine! Leave!” Loki screamed, his anger bubbling out. “You’re the one ruining everything here!” Loki threw the knife onto the concrete floor of his room. “The human race is a mess. I can’t believe we’ve kept a conversation for this long.”
He stared at Bucky, frozen. Bucky left the room in seconds. Loki was crying.
But he was okay.
-
Bucky went back to his room thinking of Loki sprawled out on the floor, crying.
When he was asked about it, Bucky dismissed nearly everyone’s questions.
“Please tell me what happened.” Steve had asked.
“Loki wanted to talk to me,” Bucky started.“we talked, but then he got so mad and I was scared something bad was going to happen. He said some nasty things and then he started hurting himself, and -” Bucky choked.
“He hurt himself?” Steve asked quietly. He looked pretty upset.
“Uh huh. I thought he was going to hurt me, but he said he wouldn’t kill something...” Bucky trailed off. “I think he’s into me. And it’s kind of freaking me out. "
“Well, are you interested in-.”
“No! He’s possessive and unstable. I won’t deny that he is attractive but still!”
“I think you’re into him.” Steve finished. He smiled like he wasn’t surprised. “Bucky, I know you still think you love me, but I’ve changed. I still love you, I really do. But, The old Steve is gone. I’m sorry. I don’t want to get back together with you.”
Bucky blinked. “Oh, that’s alright. I get it.”
“I think this could be a good option for you,” Steve said. “He’s a little unstable, sure. I think you’d be good for him, though. He likes you. Just give it a try, for now...”
“I don’t think I’m ready.” Bucky said blatantly.
Steve chuckled softly. “Yeah, you always were hard-to-get.”
Bucky smiled before turning to leave. He was an idiot.
“You don’t know anything about me.”
“I know even though you deny it, you think Loki’s hot.” Steve said with a smug grin.
“Okay,” Bucky pointed a finger and took one long stride back over to him. “Fine. You want me to admit it? Alright. Yes, Steve, Loki is a very attractive person. But he has a shit personality.”
Steve cheered. “I knew it! I knew it.”
Bucky didn’t say anything, just scowled and left the room.
-
Bucky had been wandering the hallways for about an hour, just thinking.
Probably.
“Hey!”
There was a girl’s voice. He turned around to see Wanda bounding his way. She smiled.
“Hello.”
"Hey, Wanda." Bucky wondered if it would be weird to ask her to take him to the dining room.
“What were you guys talking about?” Wanda said as she pointed at Josh.
“Oh! Nothing too important.” Bucky lied. “I’m actually pretty hungry. Could we grab some food?”
“Alright, I’ll respect your privacy. Let’s go then.” Wanda replied. Bucky shoved his hands in his pockets.
“I think I’ll have toast today. Maybe some eggs.”
Wanda giggled. “Yeah, that’s really all we eat, but you’ll get used to it.”
Wanda led Bucky out of the hallway and into the dining room. The dining room was bustling with activity when they arrived, which was strange because it wasn’t even mealtime.
“If you ever need me, you know where I’ll be!” the brunet pulled Bucky into a hug before skipping away. Bucky decided that he very much liked Wanda.
Bucky was navigating through tables and chairs to Natasha, Thor, and Bruce. He pulled up a chair next to the group of men sitting around the table.
“Hey, Bucky! How’d it go?” Bruce leaned over and patted his arm.
“Eh.” Bruce seemed to notice Bucky was staring at his plate of food.
“I take it my brother was being his usual self again. I don’t know why he doesn't understand that acting out like this is only going to make him more of a disappointment to Father.” Thor said casually.
“Hey. Let’s get you a snack.” said Bruce hastily, trying to avoid a fight.
“It’s not like he’s trying to...” Bucky added quietly. Thor looked at him.
“Why are you defending him? I thought you were terrified of him.” Thor’s face twisted in confusion.
“I don’t,” he argued, “he just needs someone to talk to him. Maybe if you listened to him instead of talking about him like he’s-”
“That does not give him the excuse to attack and murder!” Thor retorted as he crossed his arms.
“Maybe he’s scared!”
“Bucky, let’s go get that food.” Bruce warned in a low tone. Bucky kept talking.
“Of course my brother is scared. If father was still here Loki would be locked away. That’s probably what would be best for him.” Thor said, calming down.
Bucky stood up from the table and prepared to leave.
“He hurt himself, Thor.” Bucky sighed.
Thor looked shocked beyond belief. He seemed to be becoming self-conscious. “I’m...Sorry. I am going to, I’m going to talk to Loki.”
“It’s alright.” Bucky said before biding Thor farewell as he left for his brother.
When Bucky sat back down, Nat was grinning crazily at him.
Bucky eyed him up and down. “What?”
Natasha leaned over across the table and sorta half-whispered, “You really want to bang Loki, huh?”
Bucky choked on air as crimson spread across his face. What a convenient time for Tony to be eavesdropping from the kitchen.
“Oh my God!” Tony yelled from his place near the large fridge. Bucky was mortified.
Tony practically bolted into the room with a smirk spread across his face. He leaned over the table way too close to Bucky’s personal space. “You totally do!”
“No”. Bucky interrupted. His hand went to his head, resting his elbow on the table. “No way I, a grown man, am being teased like a young school girl.”
“That’s because it’s totally a school girl crush!.” Tony elaborated.
“Clint probably spread the news to everyone by now.” Bruce grumbled. “That guy’s always causing problems.”
“He doesn’t like me much” Bucky added.
“Don’t worry about it. He went through some stuff with Loki.” Tony sat and kicked his feet up onto the table.
“That fucking idiot.” Nat chuckled under her breath.”I’m sparring against him in five minutes. We agreed to meet here, but he probably forgot. I’d better go find him. Bye guys!”
Natasha said as she pushed her chair, metal squeaking against the tile, politely back into its place.
“This is how most conversations end here.” Bruce said, rolling his eyes. He pushed out from the table and dusted his hands on his jeans.
“We’ll chat again, yeah?” Bruce asked as he put on the cardigan laying on the back of his chair. Bucky shook his head and attempted a smile.
“Yeah. See you later, Bruce.” He was gone one smile later.
Bucky decided now would be a good time to get something to snack on.
Tony was still staring intently across the table.
“Uh, Do you have anything to drink?”
“He hurt himself pretty bad.” Tony began, staring into space. “I’m not sure if that’s the first time he’s done that, but it was messy.” Tony sighed sadly. He pulled his glasses off his face and began to clean them with the sleeve of his sweater.
“We shouldn’t worry ourselves too much. Loki isn’t going to die anytime soon.” Tony continued. He placed his glasses back on his face before standing to go offer Bucky a beverage.
“Are you saying he’s immortal?” asked Bucky, following him into the kitchen.
“Not really. But, the guy’s a God, so I wouldn’t be surprised.” Tony started pouring Bucky a glass of orange juice.
“I’m gonna go back to my room.” Bucky smiled and took the cup from Tony. This crush was ridiculous. Loki was one guy.
Except he was a literal God.
Bucky shuffled down the corridor.
If this was a crush, it would fade away on its own. Simple. Kind of.
No. Definitely not.
Bucky was fantasizing about playing his ukulele. He’ll lock himself up in his room and spend some time just for him. That was a good plan.He can take his mind off Loki. He had just barely opened his bedroom door when a hand flew to his mouth. It was dark.
“Shh.”
Fucking fuck
A million things raced through Bucky’s head in those moments. The lights were flicked on and the room lit up. Clint Barton himself was standing inches away from him. Clint pulled his hand away, and Bucky could feel him place it on his chest. What the hell was going on here?
And then Clint was kissing him.
Bucky clenched his eyes shut. He couldn’t believe this was happening.
Clint hated Bucky.
Clint couldn’t stand him.
Except he slipped his hand down to the hem of Bucky’s shirt. He didn’t know what was going on, and this is when he pushed away.
“What was that for?” Bucky cleared his throat.
“We’ll do that again maybe, yeah?”
Then Clint disappeared out the door, leaving Bucky in disbelief.