Duty & Pleasure

Beatrice looked at her watch, it was almost dinner time already. She replaced Ava at her post when she asked to be left alone to talk with that man, but her shift ended about an hour ago. 

Since then, Beatrice took a seat at her usual table, reviewing the order of beverages for the week to come. they were speaking for so long, Beatrice couldn’t help but be curious about their conversation, although by the way Ava was smiling and laughing with him, it felt like the elephant in the room was already dealt with.

It was odd to think of Ava outside of the OCS spectrum, outside their family. They went through so much in only a couple of months, she tended to forget about the world around them. But once upon a time Ava was the luckiest girl who was brought back to life and experienced romance with this now very existent man.

Ava was attractive, beautiful, any people with eyes already knew that and the number of suitors, both men and women, she had since they started to work in the bar was proof enough.

Physical appearance aside, she was very charming and had the tendency to flirt with people, consciously and unconsciously. She was the most outgoing person Beatrice knew, and she was bound to gather people around her. If faith was fair to her, she would be some kind of celebrity already. 

Beatrice knew it was only a matter of time before Ava would take an interest in one of her admirers, and it would make sense if it was a person she was involved with once. 

She had to tear her eyes away as Ava put her hand on his forearm, patting it fondly. 

Ava loved physical contact. She told Beatrice that because she was being deprived of it for 12 years, she would touch and hold and even punch, as long as she was breathing. 

Beatrice was the main test subject of Ava’s craving for physical contact. There was no walking back to their apartment without Ava holding her hand, or having her arm wrapped around her shoulder. When they were having a movie night, Ava would be pressed to her side, sometimes she would wrap her arm around Beatrice’s or hide behind her shoulder during a scary movie. And let’s not talk about how she needed to be spooned while sleeping.

She never had the courage to ask the reasons to the Warrior nun, she just assumed that it was the best she could do with her current situation; they were friends, Beatrice was here and Ava needed physical contact. It was all that her shame & mental boxes allowed her to believe.

It was a lot to take for the nun, she grew up in a loveless environment and it pained her to admit it, but she could not remember being held by a loved one before. But if Ava needed her this way, then she would oblige.

“You ok Boss?” 

Beatrice was startled, she lifted her head and noticed Hans on her side.

“Yes, I was just reviewing these.” she said, lifting her order sheets.

“Why are you still working ? Look around you.”

The bar was getting crowded, some people were on the table next to hers having dinner, others were on the high table in front of her, having a drink after work and some people were just moving on the dancefloor.

“Well, I was occupying myself while waiting for Ava.”

She knew how it sounded, but she couldn’t care less. Between the afternoon and night shifts, there were a dozen of workers at the bar and while they all seemed to have adopted Ava quickly, they apparently had more difficulties to bond with her. According to Ava, they found her too uptight but then, she wasn’t here to make friends.

“Ugh, tough.” he said, taking a seat next to her. Oh well, apparently now they were having a conversation.

“That’s one hell of a rival for you boss.”

“What do you mean ?”

“The dude traveled all Europe to get her back, and well, he’s really hot too.”

“That’s…Hans, it’s not, we’re not-”

“You had enough on your plate with half of the customers wanting to get in her pants but this-” he said pointing to JC “this is next level competition.”

“Hans, Ava and I are just friends, I don’t know why we’re having this conversation in the first place.”

“But you’re roommates.”

“And ?”

“You like her.” 

“I-” she stopped, feeling her cheeks getting warmer.

Was she this obvious? 

The thin walls of her boxes started crumbling. Oh no, it was not happening.

“You’re misunderstanding Hans. This is a coincidence that this man is here. Ava didn’t like how they parted ways and she’s just trying to fix this.” She said, too fast to not sound suspicious.

“Keep telling it to yourself then.” he said, putting his hand on his tights before getting up.

“Ava’s just too powerful to handle I guess. But boss, I think you’d look good together.”

He continued, his hands in his pocket as he looked toward the Warrior Nun.

Ava and JC were crossing the dancefloor in their direction.

The man had his arm wrapped around Ava’s shoulder and it looked like they were bickering like long time acquaintances.

Maybe Beatrice’s heart broke at that vision, she couldn’t be sure as she enforced the walls of her box like a 8 feet wall. She could not let her feelings slip, not right now, not like this.

“Heeeey guys !” Ava started, obviously tipsy.

“JC, this is Hans, and he’s my second favorite person here” she said while pointing her index fingers on the bartender’s chest

“Nice mustache broooo” declared JC.

He was in a worse state than Ava, his feet were unsteady and he was having difficulties keeping both eyes open at the same time.

Beatrice realized the halo must be nursing Ava’s drunkenness.

“Well thank you man, you good ?” 

“He’s drunk !”

“I’m shitface drunk !”

“Ah ! You said Shitface! Language dude !” Ava laughed like it was the joke of the month. She hit his chest with her free hand.

“I feel like I’m floating in the air, just like Ava when she-”

“Ava, it’s getting late, if everything is settled let’s go home ?” Beatrice interrupted him.

Maybe he wouldn’t expose them in a normal state, but Beatrice would never trust a drunk man.

“Whaaat ? No! Bea let’s dance !” Ava pleaded.

She let go of JC to take Beatrice’s hands, walking backward and trying to get her on the dancefloor. She was already moving her hips to the rhythm of the song played. Her eyes were bright, probably because of the alcohol and she was biting her lower lip, challenging Beatrice to follow her.

It was clearly a sight to look at, and in any other circumstances Beatrice would have caved in. 

“Ava, now is not the time.” she responded, her feet glued to the ground. She had a lot in her mind and all she needed was the peace and quiet of their apartment.

“Why ? We haven’t celebrated your promotion thanks to mister PARTY POOPER here!” Ava said, actually yelling the last part while grinning at JC.

“Me?! A party pooper?!!” JC said, pointing at himself and pretending to be offended.

“Didn’t I take you to the best club in all Andalusia once ?”

“Oh shit right ! It was fucking epic!” 

By then the music was louder, and both JC and Ava were yelling to talk to each other. Beatrice stood in front of them, not really knowing what to do to stop them.

“Shit Ava, I remember I had to show you moves, let’s go !” JC said, suddenly hyper.

He took Ava’s hands from Beatrice’s and was leading her to the dancefloor, dancing or trotting along the way, it had to be determined.

There was no coherent pace nor grace in their moves, they were just two drunk people dancing with each other, alternating between random jumps and body grabbing, laughing like idiots and clearly enjoying each other's company.

Beatrice remained on her spot, chewing her inner cheek so hard she probably cut herself. She had seen enough and for her own sake she had to leave the bar. 

It looked like her jealousy finally escaped its box that night. she needed to leave before doing something stupid. 

She knew she had no right to be jealous, she was just a friend to Ava. The Warrior Nun just got her life back, she had every right to spend it however she liked it, as long as she could balance duty and pleasure the right way. She was not like Beatrice, she did not take any vows, She was not struggling with who she was.

The Sister Warrior went back to her table and gathered her stuff and jacket. Her sense of duty did not allow her to leave before notifying Ava so she turned around and started looking for the couple on the dancefloor.

What she saw hit her like a bullet aimed to her heart.

JC had his right arm around Ava’s waist, his left hand locked with Ava’s right one as they were bending over, their faces very close, looking at each other's eyes and they were smiling .

What she saw next frightened her even more. 

Ava was glowing. Actually it was her back that was glowing, a warm golden glow that was barely noticeable, but it was there anyway.

The halo ! 

The halo was glowing and it could ruin everything! By the look of it, Ava was not aware of the situation and Beatrice rushed to her side as the couple were back to a regular type of dance.

By instinct the Sister Warrior put her jacket on Ava’s shoulder, trying to hide the glow of the halo.

“Ava you’re glowing.”

“Aww thank you Bea, but you’re prettier” she replied, giggling like a teenager.

“It’s…Ava, we have to go, now.” The situation was ridiculous, the Halo Bearer was not aware of how she was putting their mission at risk.

“But we’re danciiiing.” Ava said, swinging left and right.

“Now, Ava.” 

Beatrice stood firm, authority in her voice. Most of the time she was tolerating Ava’s bratty behavior, but since she wasn’t controlling the Halo, Beatrice had to be the one in control.

She took Ava’s hand out of JC’s one, a quick glance to the man suggesting him to let go did the trick.

“Errh, good bye then ?” he tried, obviously confused.

“Yeah, see ya dude.” replied Ava, sharing his confusion.

Beatrice was dragging Ava out of the bar, a hand on her jacket like she was afraid it would fall and reveal the halo to the world.

“I’ll text you when I leave town!” JC who followed them until the bar’s doors finally yelled.

Oh, so they exchanged phone numbers.

Great, just great.

—----------

“Hey slow down will you, where’s the fire?” 

Ava was struggling to follow the taller woman who was still holding her hand. They lived only a couple of blocks away from the bar, in a 3 floor accommodation. Their apartment was on the 2nd, and Beatrice was almost taking two stairs at once to safely have a word with the Warrior Nun.

“Bea you’re scaring me, what’s going on ?”

All the alcohol she drank throughout the night seemed to have vanished on their rushed way home. It was something she really noticed while being on the run, the Halo was making it impossible to get drunk, really drunk . No matter how much she could drink, it was healing the after effects really fast. 

If she had to be honest she was quite disappointed to learn this specific trick of the Halo, as her life to-do list had several entries needing her to be and remain drunk for more than 3 hours.

Halo, you fucking traitor .

Before she knew it, they were standing in their living room/bedroom. The apartment wasn’t much but it did the job. As Beatrice told her when they moved here, the main goal was to appear like any woman in their 20’.

“Will you tell me what’s going on ?”

Ava turned around, looking at Beatrice who was putting her shoes on the rack after locking the door, clearly composing herself after the ruckus.

Ava did the same, but in her messy way. She also removed Beatrice’s jacket and gave it to her, an insistent look in her eyes.

“Ava, you were glowing while you were dancing with him.” Beatrice started. She seemed tense, which only added to Ava’s confusion.

“I’m sorry ?”

“The Halo, it activated in the middle of the dancefloor.”

It suddenly cleared everything, she fucked up.

“Shit!” she exclaimed, eyes wide. 

She turned her head to the side, trying to catch her back’s reflection on the mirror by the door. Whatever happened in the bar seemed to have stopped, it looked normal.

“I..when did it happen ?”

“I believe you were in the middle of the weirdest tango I’ve ever seen with your ex-boyfriend.” replied Beatrice.

Why did she sound mad ?

The tango? Oh, right, it was when JC was teasing her about how he could just switch places and let Beatrice dance with her. 

She knew the Halo reacted to her emotion, the mere thought of dancing this close with Beatrice turned her to a walking glowstick, she must have been more drunk than she realized, to lose control this way.

Again, the Halo is a fucking traitor, why did it has to rat her out?

Wait, ex-boyfriend ?

“Bea, JC and I never dated. I told you, we just hooked up, once.” 

“Well it doesn’t matter how you would define the relationship you had with him, it looks like it affects you enough to let your emotions take control.”

“I’m pretty sure the tequila was in control. Bea, look I’m sorry, it won’t happen again.”

Ava was one to admit her mistake. Out of the many training they had, controlling the Halo was a difficult one. Using the power when it was charged was easy; Energy blast ? just ask. Phasing through walls ? Easy as breathing. But like it has a mind of its own, that chunk of not from earth metal would sometimes activate if she wasn’t careful enough. 

Sometimes she even believed it was enhancing her emotions.

“You can’t be sure about that.”

“Bea..”

Sitting on the head rest of the chair in their living room, Ava was looking at Beatrice. The nun was agitated and couldn’t stay still. The apartment was mostly tidy, well maybe Ava left clothes on the bed while choosing her outfit that day, but Beatrice would find knick-knacks to put in their place, or was arranging the pillows.

“I get it Ava, everything is new to you, you’re an adult and attractive and well, there is a lot of attractive people coming to the bar but-”

The taller woman continued, this time busy organizing their small bookshelf. She wasn’t looking at the Warrior Nun.

“But what, Beatrice ?” Ava interrupted her, harsher than intended.

She was starting to feel frustrated by the whole lecture from her friend. Certainly, She did not expect the night to shift like that.

“We can’t risk being exposed, Ava.”

“You know damn well I can control it, most of the time anyways.”

Beatrice stopped whatever cleaning spree she was having. As she slowly turned toward Ava she took time to slowly breathe, trying to compose herself. However she couldn’t look at the Warrior Nun’s eyes.

“Under normal circumstances, yes, you’re in full control, but you being…intimate with other people is not something we discussed before, not something we included in your training.”

“Jeez Bea, why are we even talking about this ?” Ava said, raising her voice. She could feel a blush forming on her cheeks.

“What if you can’t control your emotions and the Halo lights up in front of your partner, what if you hurt them Ava?”

For a second, the short girl was too stunned to speak. Why was her crush talking about her sex life and hypothetical partner ? 

Where the fuck their argument took that turn ?

“Why are you acting like I’m some kind of fuckboy who can’t control herself?!”

Ava stood up, pacing in their small living room.

“Please Ava I never implied you’d-”

The shorter girl lifted her hand to stop the nun and took a deep breath. She was tired and really, really wanted to stop this awkward moment. She took a few steps to approach the Sister Warrior, who looked as uncomfortable as she was.

“I get it, you’re all duty and shit but trust me a little okay?” she tried, offering a truce.

“We..We can’t let this happen, I can’t let this happen Ava, I can’t risk you to expose us”

Ava sighted, Beatrice was rambling at this point.

“What do you want me to do then?” she asked, taking a step closer to Beatrice.

She could see the discomfort written all over her face, mixed with something she couldn’t pinpoint. Beatrice couldn’t look at her and given the silence unfolding, neither an answer. 

“You know what ? drop it..I…I’m just gotta hit the shower.”

She concluded, turning around and heading to the bathroom.

Flight Ava struck again.

—--------

Beatrice seldom had a headache, but she could definitely say that the one hammering every corner of her brain that evening was one of the worst she had so far.

So much happened that day, she was very close to pack their belongings, run and hide somewhere else. 

She was also tired, so tired. She thought it was odd, she spent many sleepless nights on missions, could fight a dozen opponents or even face injuries without feeling tired like she was at that moment.

If she had to be honest with herself, she’d accept it as it was; emotional fatigue. That day could have been like the others they had on their undercover mission : waking up, training, working at the bar, bonding at home. But that man had to disrupt their habit. 

Instead she spent the day worrying, had to deal with her unrequired jealousy and the cherry on top : a fight with Ava.

Busy making a late light dinner in the kitchen, Beatrice had a melted painkiller waiting for her in a glass of water on the table. It was nothing fancy, just a few vegetables stirring on a fry pan. Maybe she was trying to make amends for their argument.

Given that they both had strong personalities, fighting with Ava was something that already happened. Most of the time it was for trivial things, regarding house chores or training. This time was different, and very embarrassing. 

She wasn’t lying when she explained this whole new issue in the Halo and Ava’s behavior regarding intimate relationships was troublesome for both secrecy and safety reasons. She just didn’t pursue her concern about her own emotions and jealousy, the mere thought of Ava being intimate with someone was making her blood boil in her veins.

Well, being intimate with someone else, but Beatrice was not ready for that conversation.

Deep in her thought, she did not notice Ava walking to the kitchen, taking small steps, obviously as embarrassed as she was.

However, she noticed the Warrior Nun’s arms making their way around her waist. Ava remained silent but engulfed her in a back hug. Soon she felt her forehead between her shoulder blades, and how her skin shivered as she felt Ava exhaled, even with the fabric of her shirt in between. 

She had to take a deep breath herself, her boxes could implode anytime.

“I’m sorry Bea” Ava said, mumbling on her shirt.

She hugged the taller women tighter.

Beatrice put the wooden spoon she had in her hand on the kitchen counter, turned down the fire and took another deep breath. 

Her hands made their way to Ava’s trying to loosen them. She failed at first, as Ava’s grip was strong.

“Ava” she just said her name and it did the trick.

Without breaking it, Ava loosened her embrace enough for Beatrice to turn around, to face her. Instinctively her left hand went to the Warrior Nun’s matching shoulder.

She was not ready for the sight welcoming her. Ava was in her pajamas, a black tank top and flashy pink pants with cute cartoons printed on them. She was also wearing her fluffy slippers mimicking puppies.

Ava was beyond happy the day Beatrice gifted them to her.

Her hair was down and still slightly wet from the shower, making them more wavy. 

Like the final touch of a masterpiece, Beatrice noticed a blush spreading from the base of her neck to her cheek.

She’s so beautiful.

She also noticed how her eyes had a light shade of red, was it because of the shower or ?

“Oh Ava.”

She cried, Ava cried. Beatrice made Ava cry because of their argument.

I’m an idiot and a jerk.

“I’m sorry Ava.” she said in return, guilt already eating her alive.

Beatrice knew that despite everything Ava was showing, her good spirit, her glee and tendency to always remain positive and nice to everyone, she also had the visceral fear of being a disappointment. It was all because of that abusive orphanage Ava grew up in, the nuns there mistreated her for years, that was why Ava would always try her best to please everybody.

“I'm really sorry” she repeated, fighting her own tears.

Her hand on Ava’s shoulder slid through the Warrior Nun’s back to grip the other side, as her right hand went to the back of her head, leading her to the crook of her neck, returning the hug with the same fervor.

They stayed enveloping in each other for a while, letting go of the day's stress and frustration. Beatrice would never tell a soul, but she grew dependent on these moments when she could be Ava’s person. 

"I'm just worried about you, you know that right?" the Sister Warrior continued, breaking her embrace only to look at Ava.

Her hand was having a mind on its own as she caressed Ava's cheeks. When the latter leaned at her touch and smiled, Beatrice felt her mental boxes crack.

“I know Bea, and I also know we’ll figure out something, together.” she said softly.

"Hypothetically speaking, How would the Halo start glowing, in this situation?" Beatrice wondered out loud.

Her rogue hand slowly slid down to Ava’s neck, following the redness of the blush. Only her thumb remained on the smaller girl's face, still stroking her cheek.

She was studying Ava’s face, like she already did a thousand times.

Soon Beatrice felt movement on her waist. Ava was mimicking her action and was caressing her with her thumb through her shirt with her similar pattern. She was also applying a little more pressure than Beatrice, as if she was trying to free her shirt which was tightly tucked in her pants.

"Well, I’d say hugging is a good start." Ava replied in a whisper.

Indeed, the small kitchen started to be filled with a light golden and somehow relaxing glow.

Ava drew closer to her and Beatrice wondered for a second how space remained between them in the first place. 

She was still looking at Ava’s face, from her eyes so intense to her red cheeks, her nose she found adorable to her brows that looked so soft. She took a quick glance to her lips but would divert her eyes, feeling her own skin burning from the blush creeping throughout her face. 

Those lips terrified her. Yet Beatrice never wanted something more in her life than kissing it. 

She had her own version of a sick and twisted childhood and as a young adult now, she started to realize how her parents were wrong about her so called “flaws”. Nevertheless their words were engraved in her like a curse, the way they raised her became part of her and she couldn’t change who she was overnight. But then came Ava, and Beatrice felt that God was testing her. Ava was wrecking ball aiming at her walls. 

When Beatrice looked up to Ava’s eyes again, she realized Ava was also studying her. Their eyes locked and everything around them became a blur. The glow of the halo intensified.

“Bea..” 

Ava said in a whimper.

A whimper.

God was really testing her.

The Warrior Nun broke their eye contact for a second, looking down to Beatrice’s lips. 

She pushed on her feet to make it to eye level with the taller women and adjusted her position, her arms quickly going up to circle Beatrice's shoulder, helping her maintain her posture.

Beatrice also adjusted her position, her hands went down to hold Ava’s waist. 

Their faces were so close, Beatrice could feel Ava’s breath deliciously hitting her skin. 

She closed her eyes, unable to process what was happening, unwilling to stop it but undaring to pursue it herself.

Heat was radiating from throughout Ava’s back, all coming from the Halo. It was how Beatrice noticed how it intensified. If she had her eyes open, she would witness how the kitchen was bathing in a warm gold glow.

“A good start, but not enough.” Ava’s voice barely came in a whisper.

With a final push, Beatrice felt Ava closing the gap between them. The feeling of Ava’s lips on her own was everything she ever dared to imagine, and so much more. She was too stunned to react, and the kiss didn’t last long enough for her to realize it was real.

Except it was real, and forever engraved in every cell of her body. 

She opened her eyes and saw Ava looking at her with wonder in her eyes, her pupils were blown and the glow of the Halo made her ethereal.

I was kissed by an angel.

“Is it okay ?” Ava faintly asked, chewing on her lower lip. She was almost too afraid to ask.

This time Beatrice felt her boxes explode.

She leaned in and pressed her forehead against Ava’s, breathing her in. One hand on her waist gripped harder, as the other slided up on her back, toward the Halo. Likewise, Ava tightened her embrace around her neck and pushed herself up, almost hanging on Beatrice. 

Their eyes didn’t break apart from each other and Beatrice never felt something this intense.

“Yes.” she managed to say, choking on her word.

Her boxes exploded and Beatrice could feel all her emotions at once, battling to emerge at the same time. 

But it was something Beatrice would deal with later, because she had Ava in her arms, they just kissed and she really wanted to do it again.

“Yes, it’s okay.” 

This time it was Beatrice who closed the gap, who pressed her lips on Ava’s and God forgave her, but she was already addicted.

They were soft, how so soft. 

With multiple small pecks, Beatrice tentatively explored Ava’s lips, never getting enough. She slightly moved her head to the side, finding a new angle and kissed her deeper.

She was rewarded by another whine and felt like she was about to combust right on the spot.

Eventually they parted to let the other breathe, and realized how disheveled they both looked. Ava’s lips glistened from the kiss and that mere vision sent shivers down to Beatrice's spine. 

The Warrior Nun untangled herself from Beatrice and took her hands, stroking their back with her thumbs.

“Yup, it really activates the Halo” she said sheepishly.

Beatrice had to collect her thoughts for a second, forgetting the original reason for that tsunami of feelings. 

Yes, the halo and how would it activate without Ava’s awareness.

Blinking a few times, she acknowledged her surroundings again. The kitchen, they were still in there. It wasn’t enveloped in a gold glow anymore but there was still a slight light emanating from Ava’s back.

She felt the Warrior Nun walking backward, leading her in her path to their couch.

“Though I think we need to test a little more, don’t we, Bea ?” she asked, a smile entirely made of mischief plastered on the lips Beatrice desperately wanted to kiss again.

“Y..Yes, some more testing is required” she replied, not trusting herself anymore.

They made their way back to the living room, hands in hands, the dinner long forgotten.