The finding of the Loki
“Come on, Thor, PLLLLLEEEEAASSSSSEEEE!”
“No.”
“For me?”
Thor gave Deadpool a look that said ‘if-you-don’t-leave-right-now-I-will-summon-a-storm-and-so-help-me-I-will-make-sure-that-you-never-see-the-light-of-day-again’.
Wade continued to give Thor puppy-dog eyes through his mask.
“I hate you, ‘Pool.”
“I know you mean love!”
Thor began to walk out of the living room.
Wade followed him.
“Oh, come ON!” Wade pleaded. “I have no idea where Loki is! This is a great idea! It will work!
“This is the worst idea I have ever heard.”
“Please?” Peter begged from the ceiling of the new room.
“No,” Thor turned around to face Deadpool. “What happened to that Godphone I gave you?”
“Wade dropped it down the toilet,” Peter replied.
“You-” Thor sighed. “Never mind. The answer is still no.”
“Pleeeaase?” Peter begged as he jumped down from the ceiling, and landed in a superhero crouch.
“You know,” Wade directed at Peter, “Those superhero ladings are really bad for your knees.”
“I know!” Peter exclaimed excitedly. “That’s why I had Tony reinforce the knees of my suit with vibranium!”
“Ok,” Wade deadpanned. “That’s a little extra.”
“You, calling me extra,” Peter noted sceptically.
Thor sighed and walked out of the room.
“Wai-” Peter and Deadpool’s shouts were cut off as the door shut behind him.
Thor opened the fridge to get an Asgardian beer.
Deadpool’s head was in the fridge.
“Pleas-”
Thor shut the fridge.
Thor walked into his bedroom, to get some peace and quiet, after a day of being followed by Peter and Wade. Even with all of his evasion tactics, they had still managed to follow them. If Thor wasn’t seriously pissed off, he would have suggested they go into a full-time career of stalking.
Thor flumped onto the four-poster.
“Please?”
Thor screamed and fell off the edge of the bed. He groaned at looked up at Peter, who was using his Spider-grippy thing to stick to the top of the bad. Thor shook his head. Forget stalking, they should just become super-sneaky spies. Well, Peter should. Wade would only sing spy songs at the top of his lungs while he was meant to by sneaking.
“No,” Thor answered after he began to breathe normally again.
“But-”
“No.”
Peter paused in contemplation.
His face brightened.
“Nope,” Thor all but shouted
Peter scrunched his eyebrows. “I didn’t say anything!”
“I know that look!” Thor replied. “You’ve got a new idea!”
“I do not!”
“You do!” Thor sighed. “Look, this new idea is going to be bad. I can tell,” Thor explained as Peter opened his mouth.
“It is not bad! All you need to do is steal Natasha’s-”
“See? Bad idea. Very bad idea!”
Peter continued. “-lipstick, then smear it-”
“FINE!” Thor shouted. “I’ll do the other idea! You know what happened last time Clint stole Natasha’s lipstick!”
Peter grinned manically. “Yes! Lemme go tell Wade!”
Thor sighed. He was going to regret this.
“But how do you know he’ll come?” Thor asked sceptically for what felt like the fifth time.
“Oh, hush, you’ll see,” Wade replied.
Wade, Peter and Thor walked into the living room, where the Avengers were huddled.
Cap looked up from some paperwork. “Uh, Thor, why are you wearing another dress?”
“Should we be worried?” Clint queried.
“This is the second time in less than a week,” Nat mused.
“So, remind me why you are wearing a dress?” Steve asked Thor, his eyebrows knotted.
“I hath returned to Midgard in order to show you the dance of my people.”
“Why?” Natasha asked.
“Because the red one told me to.”
All turned to look at Deadpool.
“This is so stupid,” Tony mused, rolling his eyes so far into his head that Peter was half-scared that they would get stuck. Not that Peter could talk, of course. His eyes rolled in his head no fewer than 17 times a day (and no, that was not a random number, he had counted).
“It’s not stupid!” Deadpool defended. “Well,” he considered, “It kind of is, but I needed a way to embarrass Thor.”
“And you made him wear a dress, because?” Clint asked.
“Because he wouldn’t do anything else! It was a last resort!”
“Wearing a dress was a last resort,” Bruce said. “What else were you asked to do?”
Thor shuddered. “I’d rather not think about it.”
Peter and Wade snorted.
“Why did you need to embarrass Thor?” Bucky enquired.
Deadpool sighed in an exasperated manner. “BECAUSE,” he stressed again, “I had no way to contact Loki, because gods know where he is, and I knew that if he ever heard of a way to embarrass Blondie here, he would come!”
“Indeed, I would,” Loki stepped out from a shadow, from gods know where, but he was promptly knocked over by a blur that fell from the ceiling.
“LOKI!!!” Peter cried as he landed on top of the God of Mischief.
“Yo,” Loki replied. Loki looked to Thor. "Brother, I am so glad I am not in your position," Loki snorted behind his hand. "Jarv, be a dear and record this?"
"Already have been, sir," Jarvis replied.
“Let’s go,” Deadpool said, dragging Loki by the elbow. Normally, Loki would never let anyone do this, but Deadpool had proved himself worthy when he but Stark’s jumpers through the dryer and shrank them all, so that he had to go around wearing Rogers’ jacket throughout his meetings for the day, until his schedule was free and he could buy new ones.
Barnes followed Peter, Loki and Wade out.
“You what?” Deadpool asked sceptically.
“I want in,” Bucky repeated.
“I’m all for that,” Peter said, “But why? Why now?”
“What are you hiding?!” Wade said, poking Bucky in the chest.
Bucky mumbled something.
“What was that?” Wade asked.
“They burnt my biscuits.”
“Oh, they are so going down.