Captains, Cars, Campings, Companionship
‘A camping trip?’ Tony looked at Steve over the brochure Steve had just passed out after dinner.
Steve merely shrugged. ‘I’ve never been on one. Neither has Buck. Unless you count sleeping in a tent in the war, which we don’t. Thought it might be fun. We’d be out of the Tower and Compound for a while.’
‘Plus half the city’s still in trauma from dying, so there’ll be hardly any criminals.’ Natasha chipped in.
‘You too, Romanov?’ Tony asked her incredulously.
‘Yeah, it’ll be fun.’ She said stoically. ‘I’ve only camped when I was on a mission. Must be nicer, camping with people you actually like.’
‘Hey! We camped!’ Clint spoke up. ‘Budapest!’
‘As I said. Camping with people you actually like.’
‘You like me!’
‘I didn’t like you back in Budapest. You handcuffed me to a horse.’ Natasha deadpanned.
‘Fair.’ Clint said, eating a fistful of cheese from a bowl in front of him. They’d had spaghetti that night.
‘I don’t know, Steve…’ Tony started.
‘Come on, Tony’ Bruce said. ‘It’ll be cool.’
‘And you’ll get to invent all the tents.’ Bucky said. Tony looked up, immediately interested. Steve glared at Bucky.
‘What? You didn’t get through to him. I did. Dibs on the biggest tent.’ Bucky said, watching Tony sketch ideas for tents on a napkin.
‘Can the Interns come?’ Tony asked, like a child asking if his teddy bear could come on the shopping trip.
‘I’ve already e-mailed the brochure to their phones, sir.’ FRIDAY said. ‘Peter is excited about the trip, Ned is unavailable at the moment and MJ has expressed interest ‘as long as someone brings marshmallows’.
‘Marshmallows are on me.’ Bruce said, while he texted MJ the same thing.
In the end, even Pepper took two days off. While the Avengers were set for a long weekend, going from Friday to Monday, Pepper agreed to sleep over from Saturday to Sunday. Maria Hill and Peter’s Aunt May had been invited to do the same, and had all gladly accepted.
As usual, King T’Challa preferred to send his ‘Wakandan Delegation’, which was Shuri. She sent an e-mail to Tony, showing off some toys she would be bringing, such as a frisbee that was designed to annoy super-humans.
Even Thor conceded to go. ‘I have camped many times, but I am always glad to spend time with friends,’ He said. ‘And none of you morons know how to make a proper fire.’ He added.
It was a lovely day in May and they were all packed. Tony had assembled what looked like an egg for each of them, and handed them out. ‘Don’t drop these in the bus, kids, unless you want your tent to explode in your face onboard!’ He said happily, as if he was hoping that would happen.
To their surprise, Steve, who had been in charge of transport, had opted for a school bus. As Peter and MJ boarded, they were surprised to find their own normal school bus driver greeting them.
‘Captain rented me and the bus for the day.’ The driver told them. ’Thought I saw a kid gettin’ off the bus when that flyin’ donut landed. Was tha’ you?’ He asked Peter.
‘Him? Pff. Don’t make me laugh. I’m the super hero here.’ MJ said stoically. ‘Call me Lasereye.’
Peter grinned and got on the bus, MJ following him and plopping down across the isle from his seat.
Clint almost dropped his egg in the isle of the bus while reaching giving Bucky candy to throw at him. As always, the two engaged in their favourite candy throwing game. The rest of the group just chatted, listened to music or, in Peter and MJ’s case, stared at passers-bye and tried to make up stories about them.
‘That guy is going to his job, which is… sewing sequins on wrestler’s suits.’
‘The woman pushing a stroller? She’s a spy. Her FBI boss, who is a goblin, is in the stroller.’
MJ laughed.
‘That old man? Sith Lord.’
‘Star Wars reference? Really?’ Peter looked at MJ. He didn’t think she liked Star Wars!
‘Well, look at him!’ She pointed. There was no mistaking. The old man did look a lot like Palpatine.
Natasha, bored, took out her earphones and looked out of the window, too.
‘That guy eating a sandwich has a very sharp knife in his boot, which is tearing up his sock. Oh, look! There he goes.’ She said as the man tripped. MJ turned back to look at her, squinting her eyes to see if Natasha was bluffing or not. She couldn’t tell.
Bucky, however, could.
‘Right sock?’
‘Yep.’
’But what has he got in his buttcrack?’
Natasha squinted and almost made the driver stop the bus. Then she realised Bucky was messing with her.
‘Oh, screw you, Barnes.’
After that, Bucky and Natasha joined in the game, also explaining how they could see the things that were invisible to the casual viewer.
‘That guy there just built a treehouse… in the sahara!’ Peter said.
‘That guy over there is trying to get the toilet to work in the treehouse.’ MJ added.
‘That woman is looking up treehouse in Africa, cause she’s always cold.’ Bucky added, looking at a woman on her phone. In reality, the woman was simply looking up ’weird symptoms after touching space rock’ but this story is not about her.
The bus drove on onto the highway.
‘That truck driver is angry because someone stole his bathing suit. But in reality, he left said bathing suit in a treehouse somewhere.’ Natasha said, smiling at Peter’s face when he realised she went along with the joke.
’That man has someone in his trunk.’ MJ said.
Peter laughed. Bucky and Natasha squinted at the car. Then, suddenly, Bucky jumped up and out of the emergency exit in the bus and jumped right up to the roof of the car in front of them. He broke through the car’s roof with his metal arm, dropped himself inside and made the car stop on the side of the road, the bus right behind. Bucky dragged the shocked driver out of the car, while Natasha kicked the boot open with a sharp kick.
In the trunk of the car was a young girl, about 14, who had been abducted from her front porch. As Peter webbed up the abductor and Bucky broke the man’s nose, Natasha rang the police and the girl used Tony’s phone to ring her parents. She had not been away long, but she was still very much in shock. Thor held her for a while, and she calmed down a little. When the girl was safe, and the abductor in custody, the Avengers travelled on.
They picked up Shuri in New Jersey, and travelled on. Shuri had kept her promise, and made a toy for everyone. ‘But I’m only showing you once we get there!’
After just over two hours in total, the bus dropped them off at Wharton State Forest, just a couple of miles away from New York. Steve had booked them a spot near the Wading River, and they all took a minute to breath in the fresh air.
’It reminds me of Alfheim,’ Thor mused, as he stroked a maple tree fondly. ‘This is a good place. Let us walk!’ He said, picking up his own equipment, as well as a surprised MJ’s. He held his hand out for Natasha, and insisted she handed over her own stuff as well. Bucky was already shouldering Shuri’s luggage, with Shuri closely inspecting his arm at work and nodding to herself.
’Tis only fair to the other maidens!’ He explained, nodding at Shuri and MJ, who was still mildly baffled. Natasha just shrugged and took the lead, the others following behind. Steve courteously offered to carry Natasha’s stuff, and Thor handed it over. Peter offered to carry something as well, because of his own super-strength. Thor pointed out branches on the ground.
‘Pick up the dry wood, Spider-ling. We will have a campfire tonight!’ He said brightly, showing Peter which wood to pick up.
The sun filtered through the trees in the Wharton State Forest, and made patterns on the ground. The Wading River bubbled happily between its rocks and the birds of the forest were busy in their routine of finding food and mates. To everyone’s surprise, Steve looked up, put his hands to his mouth, and perfectly copied one of the birdcalls. And another. And another.
‘I was wondering if I could still do that!’ He said happily, his smile almost as bright as the sunlight on the river.
This brought on a small competition in which everyone tried out their own animal sounds. Clint, unsurprisingly, did well in birdcalls, too, but could also recreate a dog’s bark to perfection. Natasha could recreate a rattlesnake’s rattle, for no apparent reason. MJ meowed and then clucked like a chicken. Shuri immediately recorded that ‘for pranking purposes’. Bucky baaa-ed. Steve choked on his water. Thor said he never tried doing animal sounds, because Loki usually shapeshifted into them and did them for him.
Bruce, having spent some time around horses, whinnied.
Peter was bad at animal sounds, but did such a good impression of the dog from ‘Up’ that Tony told him he could always voice act for a living.
‘But listen! I’ve got the best impression.’ Tony said, shushing them all and then doing nothing.
‘…Well? What is it?’ Clint asked.
‘A rabbit.’
Walking along the river, they finally reached a spot big enough for all of them, with the river on one side, and a wide open meadow on the other for eventual games.
Tony passed on the last egg to Shuri, and showed everyone how to do it.
‘So you just take the egg… And throw it like this,’ he said, tossing the egg a metre away from him. The egg exploded in a little poof, and a wisp of smoke rose from it. The group started to laugh, but Shuri shushed them, looking at Tony as a teacher looked at a student.
With a small tinkling sound, barely heard above the river, the nanoparticles in the egg started unfolding and made a simple but elegant square tent. Above the tent’s door was a group of blue particles that looked a lot like an arc reactor.
The rest of the Avengers soon found out that Tony had not only created tents, he had personalised them.
Instead of landing on the ground, Clint’s egg bounced up into the trees, unfolded a lot of fabric and made a very decent purple treehouse-hammock tent.
‘I’m taking this egg to the Sahara!’ He cheered while climbing up the ladder and grinning down at Peter.
Steve’s tent was, unsurprisingly, in the colours of the American Flag. Tony couldn’t help himself. But the inside of the tent was insulated and warm. No more sleeping on cold floors for Steve, no siree!
Bucky’s tent was about the same, but larger and in a cool tone that seemed to camouflage into the forest background. When Peter examined it, he could see that the tent had been made from the same material as Tony’s plane that he had crashed a while ago.
‘Figured you’d like the camouflage. And you did get dibs on the biggest tent.’ Tony said, and Bucky gave him a fistbump. Inside, the tent was as soft as Steve’s, and very dark, made for sleeping in late. But it also let through a lot of sound, which Bucky was very glad about. Could never be too careful.
Natasha’s tent was similar to Tony’s, but had a few jungle designs made onto it. She stroked the neck of a glimmering snake that looked a lot like a realistic version of the snake from Jungle Book. A soft breeze fell over the tent, and the snake seemed to slither. Natasha loved it.
‘Spiders are too scary when you have to go outside to take a piss at night.’ Tony explained.
Thor threw his egg the same way he used to throw cups. The egg exploded around him, and changed into a golden-colored viking-style tent.
‘This is better than the ones we used in Asgard!’ He said, and Tony grinned happily.
Shuri’s tent looked like an open panther mouth, and Shuri jumped up and down excitedly, laughing and recording. When she zipped the tent shut, it was as if the panther kept her safe in its mouth.
Bruce’s egg was slightly larger than the others, because it held a whole bed. Tony had asked everyone about sleeping preferences, and Bruce only had one. ‘I just want a soft mattress that won’t leak.’ Tony being Tony, he had made an entire nanoparticle bed, complete with the softest nano foam he could make.
MJ’s tent was all-black, but Tony gave her some crayons and told her to go wild. The entire tent had been covered in chalkboard paint, so MJ could write down and draw whatever she wanted. The inside of the tent held lots of pockets for her books, and an area from the ground, so ‘she only needed to deal with two spiders in my life.’ (Meaning Peter and Natasha, of course.)
The only tent Tony hadn’t asked for help for was Peter’s. Because of this, he was nervous when Peter threw his egg down. But his nerves were in vain. Peter yelped in delight as the tent blew itself up to the size and shape of a small red-and-blue bouncy-house. While the top and sides were bouncable, the inside was warm and cosy. Nanobots made a small slide coming from the top. Peter immediately stuck Spider-Meow to the ceiling inside, then climbed up to the top. Clint had dropped down before him, but let Peter go first on the slide.
‘This is amazing!!’ He said as he landed, and threw his arms around Tony. Tony held him, intending to let go, but Thor came up behind him and flung his arms around him, too. ‘Thank you for the tent, clever brother.’ He told Tony, and Tony gulped a little as he saw the rest of the Avengers jump into the hug as well.
‘Yeah, yeah, allright. You’re welcome. Get your asses ready, Shuri’s brought toys.’
Then, they all put their stuff in their respective tents, and Shuri brought out the first toy she had made: A couple of frisbee’s ‘that should give these guys a run for their money’ she told Tony confidentially.
True to her word, the frisbees acted a lot like playful birds to Steve, Thor, Bucky and Peter. Zooming over their heads, changing direction in the middle of flight, dropping a few meters in midair, and hovering just behind their heads.
With his enhanced senses, Peter turned out to be the best at catching the frisbees, but made up for it by being an absolutely shitty thrower. Bucky, when he finally got hold of a frisbee, threw it at Thor so hard that the god had to fly after it.
To everyone’s great hilarity, the frisbees acted perfectly normal when handled by Clint, Natasha, Shuri, Tony, MJ and Bruce.
The rest of the day went by quickly. Bucky, Bruce, Shuri and MJ played in the river, Thor showed Peter and Steve how to start a proper fire, while Tony, Clint and Natasha went to the camping store to pick up dinner, beer, and chocolate cookies.
They finished their dinner by roasting marshmallows over the campfire and making s’mores. Clint brought out a guitar from nowhere and played some songs, including Wonderwall. It turned out he had an excellent voice, and was able to improvise quite a bit. He even wrote a song about himself, saying he was a cool avenger too, but bragging about strange stuff like ‘I own water-resistant socks,’ and ‘I once butt-dialed Jean-Claude Van Damme’.
Natasha was also shown to be an adequate singer, and to pay homage to her tent, sung a refrain of ‘Trust In Me’ from Jungle Book, that succeeded in giving everyone the creeps.
At the end, everyone was surprised to find out that they all knew ‘Piano Man’.
The beer was finished, the campfire dimmed. Bucky was the first to crawl into his soft tent, but the rest followed quickly.
In the middle of the night, Peter realised that he had to pee. He took Spider-Meow from the ceiling and used the little cat as a flashlight to see in the dark. His spider-powers had given him a lot, but not that. He walked into the forest a little, so as not to pee on anyone’s tent. When he got back, and opened his tent, he found Tony walking out of his own tent, using Iron Meow as a flashlight as well.
Peter grinned and held up Spider-Meow, and Tony grinned back, and pretended to offer a toast with Iron-Meow.
Peter curled up in his warm sleeping bag, and texted May ‘goodnight and see you tomorrow! x’
He got a reply immediately: ‘Goodnight sweetheart! make sure to save me some marshmallows! X’
And with the rustling of the trees and the soft bubbling of the river, Peter only had time to recognise the hoot of an owl before he was fast asleep.