Chapter 5
Ever since Peter had come out to May, he had been off with Tony. He texted him less (which was a miracle in itself), patrolled more and was quieter when they were working together in the labs. Tony had the distinct impression that something was eating at the kid, and the knowledge did nothing to settle his nerves.
At first, Tony had just assumed that Peter had been relying on him less now that everything was out in the open with his aunt. But it didn’t quite add up. Peter still seemed to trust Tony with sensitive information about his life, and he didn’t act any differently from usual around him. A big part of Tony hoped that it was an issue that he could help Peter fix, and not something he would have to watch his kid struggle through from the side lines.
Sometimes, when Peter was patrolling, he would go back to the tower block where Tony had found him after The Outing Incident, as it was now known (not that Peter let Tony bring it up often). He would spend hours just sitting and staring out at the city sprawled below him. It unsettled Tony to no end. Whenever Peter sat like that, he would feed Karen’s live stream of what the kid was doing onto one of the computers in the lab so he could keep an eye on him (there was no way he would let Peter do anything stupid).
After a month of Peter dodging any attempt Tony made to bring the topic up, he’d had enough. Tony vowed that they were going to have a proper, adult conversation about this even if it killed him. So he made a plan: Peter was staying for the weekend during half term, and that meant that there were two whole days in which he could finally confront the kid without him making excuses that he was too busy to talk.
Once the day actually rolled around, however, Tony had built the situation up in his head so much that he felt light headed and jumpy by the time Friday alerted him to the fact that Peter had arrived. He did his best attempt at casually working while he waited for him to make his way to the labs.
As soon as Peter entered, he could tell that Tony had something on his mind and it set his teeth on edge. He snapped the band on his wrist, hoping that whatever the problem was, it wasn’t going to involve a heart to heart; he’d had too many of them recently.
For the first ten minutes, Tony was his usual, cocky self, and he spent a lot of time cracking jokes and explaining his tech to Peter. They both seemed to relax a little in each other’s presence and Tony’s jumpiness died down a little. Once they were both working on individual tasks – Tony’s was to add a new algorithm to Friday’s system and Peter’s to edit some of his web shooting options – Tony finally spoke up. ‘So, Peter, how are you?’
‘I’m good, thanks. How are you? You seem a little stressed.’
‘Nothing bothering you then? Nothing I should know about?’
Peter paused and looked up from the computer screen. He seemed to study his mentor for a long time, but couldn’t find whatever answer he was looking for. ‘Okay – uh – what’s up Mr Stark?’ Peter asked wearily.
‘That’s what I’m asking you kid.’ Tony said, exasperation evident in his voice. ‘Ever since you came out to May, you’ve been – distracted. I’m worried about you buddy. Did it not go as well as you told me it did?’ Concern clouded Tony’s words, making the end of the sentence sound harsh and accusatory.
‘What? No, I told you the truth, I swear!’ Peter could feel Tony’s intense gaze on him, and he shuffled uncomfortably beneath it.
He snapped the band on his wrist and Tony’s frown deepened.
‘Then why have you been so – so odd recently? You barely text me anymore. You cut at least half of your patrols short just so you can go and sit on the roof of that high rise, and I know you’ve been staying out past your curfew to do it. What’s going on, Peter?’
Peter let out an audible sigh and glanced at the ceiling, trying his best to gather his tangle of thoughts into some semblance of a reply for Tony. The truth was, he had wanted to mention this to Tony for weeks. But he had chickened out every time that he had the opportunity. He wasn’t entirely sure why, but it seemed to mostly be because he didn’t want to make Tony uncomfortable or change the dynamic between them as a result of what he was about to say. He sighed again, glancing back at Tony. ‘See – the thing is – I was thinking –’
‘Uh oh, that sounds ominous.’ Tony’s joking tone did little to mask the poorly controlled anxiety behind it.
‘Yeah.’ Peter grinned guiltily. Tony always joked that he shouldn’t be left to his own devices because he would come up with some crazy plan that anyone else would think was insane. Hell, that was basically how he came to be spider man in the first place; Tony maintained that most other teens would just use their enhanced powers to “woo people”, not run around the city in a onesie stopping crime. Please don’t let this change anything. ‘I – I want spider man to come out.’ And I didn’t tell you because I’m so afraid that you’ll say it’s not a good idea, and then I’ll have to hide forever so that I don’t disappoint you. Maybe Tony was okay with the whole gay thing when it was still private, but would he still be the same if spider man came out?
Tony let out a relieved chuckle. ‘That’s it? Oh man, you really know how to almost give a guy a heart attack, Pete.’
Peter snapped the band on his wrist again. He wasn’t entirely sure what was supposed to happen next; whenever he had imagined talking to Tony about this, the conversation stopped there; he had never really thought what would happen after the initial confession.
Thankfully, Tony seemed to notice Peter’s discomfort because his expression quickly became serious. ‘That’s a really big step, kid, and of course I am behind you one hundred percent. So, can you just talk me through why you’ve decided to tell people?’
The question caught Peter a little off guard. ‘Well – mean, I’ve already told all the important people in my life now – and – I guess given that I was basically forced to tell the rest of school, it just got me thinking that I got to look up to Steve and Bucky when I needed support, and not everyone has that.’ Peter stumbled. ‘Not – not that I’m saying they’re wrong for not coming out –’
‘I know Pete.’
‘And also, people look up to me – I’m not entirely sure why, but they do – and maybe if someone’s hero is gay, then they might be more open to it I guess. Obviously, I mostly want to be there for the queer kids who might be struggling, but it might also help normalise it in any situation – like for the families of those kids too.’
‘Peter,’ Tony spoke softly, making Peter look up in surprise. This was the last reaction he had expected from his mentor – after the initial agreement to the situation, Peter assumed that Tony would jump straight into planning a press release, or discussing the implications it would have on his super hero career. ‘Doing selfless stuff like this is the reason people look up to you. You’re a good kid, Parker. How were you planning on publicising it?’
Peter blushed a little. ‘I’ve – uh – I’ve got a verified Twitter account. I just thought I would tweet it.’
Tony raised an eyebrow. Despite how up on technology he was, he couldn’t keep up with how younger generations consumed media. To him, the best way to tell the world something was still a good old fashioned press conference (maybe if he was more open to new ways of getting information out, he wouldn’t have had to deal with the whole “Peter turning down becoming an avenger” debacle).
It took another half an hour of debating what was best to say before the tweet was posted. Peter wanted just to say I’m gay, whereas Tony thought that they should include a little more information (but we’ve only got 280 characters, Tony. Besides, we’re not writing a fucking essay.). Once it was out in the world, people took no time to voice their opinions on his confession. No going back now, Peter thought, the knot of anxiety just as big as it had been when he had first stuttered the words out to Ned almost two years ago. Many media outlets were already forming all sorts of speculation over if spider man was dating, and if so, who. Most of the reports were filled with fake news, and Peter and Tony spent a long time laughing at the badly written articles that popped up within hours of the tweet going viral.
Given that spider man remained a faceless vigilante, people seemed more than happy to voice their opinions on him without sparing much thought to his feelings. There seemed to be a lot of kind comments, especially from fellow LGBT+ people, despite there being the odd insult sent his way. Admittedly, Peter had a sneaking suspicion that Tony might have been filtering out some of the worst replies to his tweet, given that the responses weren’t half as bad as he expected.
The real change, however, came when Peter patrolled for the first time since he came out. Whereas before, he would get a few people a week calling out to him while he swung around the city, now he was getting a few people a night calling out to him. Most were from fellow queer kids giving support, and Peter was more than a little overwhelmed by the impact he was making. He made sure to turn up to as many LGBT+ events as he could – whether in his suit or not – given his busy school and super hero schedule. Somehow it seemed to be just another dimension of his responsibilities; Peter’s new found fame helped elevate whatever issues needed to be talked about, and he was more than happy to provide his services whenever he could, even if it was just to rock up at a charity bake sale. He knew for sure that this would be far from the last time he came out, but it felt good to know that he was no longer hiding in any part of his life.
Tony couldn’t believe how brave his kid was. Just a few weeks ago, he had waltzed into the lab with a hickey, and had looked so ashamed when his mentor had asked if he was gay. And now, he was using his fame to help others accept themselves. Tony always knew that Peter was the hero the world deserved, and this just proved his point all the more. There were still times when Peter would question himself, and Tony knew that the abuse and insults he received hurt far more than he let on, but Tony would always be there to reassure his kid, and for now, that was enough for both of them.