Bad Ideas
Regulus enjoyed admiring James the same way a person marvels at the stars. He watches from a distance, knowing if he got too close he would only get burned. Today was no different. Regulus sat in the back corner of the library, intending to study but losing focus when he noticed the messy-haired boy sitting with his friends. Regulus stared longingly, a spark of jealousy for his brother balling inside him, leaving a sour taste in his mouth. It wasn’t fair. Sirius got to get as close as he wanted, immune from James’ burning aura. Regulus desperately wished he could approach him and open the floodgates of his feelings. But Regulus knew James could never like someone like him and decided it was pointless to stay in the library when he had schoolwork he desperately needed to get done. He settled on packing his bag and leaving, refusing to give the man he desperately wanted another glance.
—
James adored the red-headed girl he shared many classes with. She was lovely to be around, had a witty personality, and was selflessness down to her core. James enjoyed her company; plus, his parents would adore her as well. She was sweet when she wanted to be, but also had a bite. James supposed this was what love felt like.
There was only one slight issue: Lily didn’t seem to reciprocate James’ feelings. Not that James would ever force someone into a relationship, that would be awful, but he believed people occasionally need a little nudge.
James had tried many ways to nudge the girl and was quickly running out of ideas. He was brainstorming a new way to ask out Evans when Sirius spoke up interrupting his thoughts.
“Did you hear my darling baby brother is crushing on someone?”
James looked at him quizzically, unsure of where this was coming from.
“Since when do you keep up with Regulus?” he asked curiously.
“Doesn’t matter. He’s apparently after his best friend Barty, but that man is so far up Evan’s ass I’m surprised they aren’t a thing yet,” Sirius replied with a grimace.
“Sirius, I’m sure others think the same about you when you’re with Remus,” Peter chimed in, causing the boy Sirius had his head leaned on to snort.
“But Petey dear, I am dating Remus. I get to follow him like a lost puppy,” Sirius declared, throwing in a wink “Anyways, I just thought it was quite funny. He would be the one to fall in love with someone he can’t have.”
—
James was running out of options and fast. He needed to get Evans to like him before the end of the term. It was already 6th year, and she wasn’t budging. James was so deep in thought he didn’t see the boy in front of him, knocking the books right out of his hands, the impact ripping him from the little world in his head.
“I am so sorry I wasn’t paying attention this is all my fault,” James rambled, not looking at the person he ran into, instead bending to gather the things he caused to clatter to the floor.
“You should walk with your eyes open Potter,” Regulus snapped, his usual venom faltering.
“I’m sorry baby Black,” James joked with a smile, handing the items to him.
He was going to walk away but realized Regulus' face had tinted a shade of pink. He blinked a few times, convinced he was imagining things.
“Great, well, I’ll be going.”
Regulus pushed passed James, and the taller man watched as he made his way down the hall and around the corner. James was trying to process what just happened when he got a brilliant idea.
—
Regulus had thrown himself onto his bed, staring straight up at the ceiling. His heart was beating out of his chest, and he thanked Merlin he had finished his classes for the day. Running into James was a terrible accident, and Regulus wonders if the universe thought it was funny. One second he’s daydreaming about the other man and the next he’s helplessly watching him gather the belongings he knocked out of his arms. And to ice the cake, he had called him baby. Well, ‘baby black,’ but the second word was irrelevant.
James had gotten too close for comfort, and Regulus did not appreciate the lasting burn it left on his body. Usually, he could control his emotions; he had a lot of practice. But when it came to the tall, messy-haired boy Regulus lost his grip. He couldn’t tell if he loved or loathed it.
Once Regulus’ heart began to beat at a normal pace again, the boy gathered his things and headed to the library. His potions essay would not wait for him to get over his crush on a boy he couldn’t have.
—
James paced up and down his dorm, waiting for his friends to return from their last lesson of the day. Soon the barking laugh of Sirius could be heard ascending the stairs and James took a deep breath. A vital part of this plan included the approval of the raven-haired boy.
“Prongs! What are you doing here instead of the pitch?”
“I have an idea, but I need your approval before I go ahead with the idea,” James explained, running a hand through his hair and fidgeting with the hem of his shirt.
Sirius narrowed his eyes at the other boy, instinctively moving towards Remus who had accompanied him to the dorms.
“And why do you need my approval?” he questioned with a suspicious frown.
“It involves your younger brother.”
A pause in the conversation turned into a long silence, the older Black brother’s face holding a look James rarely saw anymore. He began to fidget even more, scared Sirius would never speak to him again.
“And how exactly does it include him?”
“You won’t like that either.”
“Spill.”
“So, you know how I really, really want Evans to reciprocate my feelings for her? Well, I thought, y’know, since Regulus also seemed to be struggling with getting Barty to like him, we could maybe help each other out?”
“And how exactly could you two do that?” Sirius questioned, anger slipping from his words and replaced with curiosity.
“Wecouldfakedate”
“Prongs I’m going to need you to tell me in English.”
“Regulus and I could pretend to date each other. I’d make Lily jealous and Regulus would make Barty Jealous. It would be perfect.”
Sirius stared at James for a while, his face blank. Slowly a sardonic smile spread across his face, and a barking laugh tumbled out of his mouth.
“I approve, only because he’d never agree to it,” he smugly replied.
James deflated. “You really think so?”
“I know so.”
“Sirius-“ Remus interjected, flashing James an apologetic look.
“What? It’s Regulus. He’d never agree to this. Plus, what would my parents say?”
“Sirius…. Regulus doesn’t live with them anymore.”
Both James and Sirius’ heads snapped to look at the amber-eyed boy in disbelief.
“What do you mean Rem?” Sirius mumbled.
“He’s been living with the Rosiers Darling. He left at the end of last year.”
“How the fuck do you know this?”
“Sometimes we have prefect rounds together love. We don’t usually talk but one night he just spilled everything. I thought you knew.”
Sirius looked at the other man, an expression of hurt painting his face before quickly flashing away.
“Oh,” is all he said, leaning his face into the other man’s chest. Remus wrapped his arms around him, whispering an apology to James. James stood there awkwardly, not sure what to do with himself.
“James?” came a muffled voice.
“Yeah, Pads?”
“Just don’t hurt him, yeah?”
“I wouldn’t dream of it.”
—
Regulus was in his usual corner, mind lost in the text his eyes scanned. He was so focused he didn’t notice the man that plagued his every moment standing across the table from where he sat.
“Regulus?” he heard, snapping his head up at the familiar voice.
“James?” he responded, completely caught off guard.
“Can we talk? I think I know a way we can help each other out.”
What?
“Potter I highly doubt you could be of any help to me,” he seethed, hoping he would get the hint and go away.
Regulus scoffed when he instead plopped down in the seat he was standing by.
“I heard about your crush on Barty. And I think just about everyone knows I have my eyes on Lily. So-“
“Who told you that?”
“What?”
Regulus had to fight desperately to hold in a laugh.
“That I have a thing for Barty?”
“Oh um, I’m not sure. I'm guessing you don’t then?” James responded, a slight frown painting his face.
Before Regulus could stop himself he spilled the first thing he could think of that would make the other man‘s smile return.
“No, I do,” he blurted with a grimace. “I just need to know who to silence is all.”
James’ bright, sunny smile came back, Regulus feeling it burn into his memory. He loved that smile, and to have it directed at him made him feel lightheaded.
“Perfect. I have a proposition.”
“I’m surprised you know that word.”
“Oh, ha ha. Would you like to hear it or not?”
“Against my better judgment, yes.”
“We could pretend to date to make them jealous.”
It took everything in Regulus not to pull a face, keeping his calm, nonchalant demeanor intact.
Did I hear that right? I’ve lost it. I’ve finally lost my sanity. I’ve gone crazy. There is no way James just asked me to pretend to date him. Am I just a pawn to him? No, he thinks he’s also helping me. It wouldn’t hurt to say yes, would it? I mean… if it’s my only chance to ever experience his burn and not feel the pain, why shouldn’t I take it? This is going to hurt. Fuck it, I’ll deal with that later.
“Okay,” he replied, leaning back into his chair.
“Okay?”
“We can pretend to date.”
James beamed brightly, and Regulus realized just how screwed he was.