Don’t Cry
“Regulus, please tell me this is a cruel joke.”
“I know Dora. I know,” Regulus replied, desperately choking back a sob.
“Regulus-” she began but stopped at the expression blurring the boy’s features. Whilst opening her arms, she whispered pitifully, “come here.”
Regulus let her pull him in and wrap herself around his subtly shaking frame. The tears brimming in his eyes slowly began to escape, trickling down the boy’s cheeks.
“I know it’s selfish to lie to him. I just want a glimpse of what it would be like. I want to know what it would be like to be loved by him. I know I’m going to get hurt Dora, I know. But I’ll at least get a chance to feel it, even if it’s only for a little while.”
Pandora only nodded, holding Regulus tightly while he wept. She would murder James for the hell he’d unintentionally put Regulus through, but she knew he meant well, and Regulus would only be devastated. She settled on simply being there for him.
—
James nearly tripped sprinting up the Gryffindor stairwell, too giddy to care. He accidentally slammed the door into the wall, causing the two boys lounging on Sirius’ bed to nearly jump out of their skin. He graced them with a burning smile.
“He agreed!”
“You’re lying,” Sirius called in disbelief.
“Swear to Merlin I'm not,” he shot back with a large, dopey grin.
Sirius made eye contact with Remus, giving him an odd look James had yet to see before. He sighed lightly, then turned back to the oblivious boy.
“What exactly did he say?”
“‘Okay’”
Sirius mulled this over in his head, blindsided by his brother’s agreement to James’ plan.
“Are you sure this is going to work, Prongs?”
“I don’t see why it wouldn’t,” he replied, clueless to the tone of Sirius’ voice. “I’m going to meet him in the astronomy tower tonight. In the meantime, I will be in the library attempting to write my potions essay.”
The messy-haired boy strutted out of the dorm, leaving Remus and Sirius alone again.
“I forgot how fucking oblivious he is sometimes,” Sirius spat, curling back into Remus with a sigh.
“I know, Darling. Should we put a stop to this?” he replied whilst stroking a hand down his lover’s back.
“No, I don’t think. Regulus would have said no if he didn’t want to get tangled in that mess. I know my brother, even through the distance. He knows how to handle himself.”
“Alright, Darling.”
—
The day came and went, night soon falling across the grounds. Regulus got to the tower early, sitting on the edge and leaning his head on his arms that gently pressed into the railing. Soon footsteps could be heard from the stairwell; Regulus tensed, unsure if he should try to bolt or follow through with the plan. Before he could decide the messy-haired boy came through the door. Regulus stiffened, fighting the urge to face him.
“Hello darling,” James cooed.
Regulus’ heart painfully clenched in his chest.
“Took you long enough,” he spat with a wince.
He hoped James didn't notice.
“I’m on time-“
“Late,” Regulus reiterated, peeling his eyes away from the stars, finally turning to survey the other man. “What is it you wanted to talk about?”
“Right, well. I wanted to set up some boundaries to make sure we were both comfortable for the foreseeable future. I don't want you to feel uncomfortable or anything throughout this. If you want to back out at any point that's perfectly fine. I'd like to come out of this as friends, not enemies. Trust me when I say that's the last thing I want to happen.”
Don’t cry. Don’t cry. Don’t cry.
“Reasonable. What did you have in mind?”
“I’m okay with pretty much everything that comes along with a relationship, but I’m assuming you aren’t a big fan of public displays of affection.”
From you? I’d love it
“You would be correct, but that might defeat the whole purpose of doing this, no?”
“Right… Well, is there anything you are completely against?”
“I’m okay with public affection as long as we aren’t virtually procreating out in the great hall and such.” He paused before adding, “Oh, and no real kisses.”
Regulus was not about to admit it, but he’d never had his first kiss. He wanted it to be special. It was childish, he knew that, but it didn't hurt to hope.
Right?
A bright grin spread over James face.
“No fucking in the Great Hall or kisses. Got it.”
Regulus facepalmed.
—
“Good morning Lovely!” James called from down the hallway, causing Regulus’ heart to leap out of his chest.
He whipped around to face the voice, getting slightly dizzy from moving so fact.
“Christ James, what are you doing down here?”
“I wanted to escort my boyfriend to breakfast,” he explained with a grin, moving beside the shorter boy to link their arms together.
Regulus tensed, and James pulled away slightly.
“Unless you’d rather otherwise?” he asked with a subtle pout.
“No, this is okay.”
“Are you sure?”
Regulus wanted to melt at the sight of James’ slightly tilted head.
“Yes.”
James beamed down at Regulus, causing his insides to twist into tight knots. He felt he might puke, which worsened when James pulled him in close. A burning warmth spread in Regulus’ chest.
After a few paces the burn subsided, a comforting warmth blanketing him. Regulus fought a smile.
“Will you be doing this daily?” Regulus asked, praying the hint of hopefulness embedded within his words went unnoticed.
“If you’d like me too, sweetheart,” James answered with calm ease.
Regulus’ insides somersaulted.
“I wouldn’t be opposed,” he nonchalantly affirmed.
“Then it’s settled. Every morning I’ll greet you in the corridor outside the Slytherin portrait.”
The rest of the trek to the great hall was done in silence, Regulus slowly becoming relaxed in the scalding atmosphere of James.
Upon their arrival, the glasses-clad man made a show of opening the door for his faux boyfriend and planting a fake kiss on his hairline. He hovered so close Regulus could feel his warm breath. In a pretend reluctance, they parted ways, Regulus trudging over to where he knew he’d be drowned in questions.
“Regulus. Arcturus. Black. What the fuck was that?” Barty demanded in a hushed spat through gritted teeth.
Regulus hadn't even fully sat yet.
“Hm?” he hummed in faux innocence, sitting between Dorcas and Evan.
“Don’t act like what we just saw was our imagination Regulus,” Evan interjected, anger coating his features.
Regulus scooted toward Dorcas; Evan and Barty were unpredictable, and he didn't enjoy being caught off guard.
The nervous boy threw Pandora a glance, his expression begging for help.
“Looks like our darling Black has a boyfriend,” she sighed sweetly.
Regulus made a mental note to buy her sweets and quills next Hogsmeade visit.
“Finally someone else here is dating a Gryffindor. It’s so annoying to hide,” Dorcas called, hiding by taking a long sip from her mug.
The group fell into silence, all four heads turning to look at the girl. Regulus was relieved to be out of the group's focus.
“What?” she asked innocently.
“Cas who are you-“
“No fucking way-“
“Marlene?”
“Yes, Marlene my beloveds. I’m surprised none of you noticed, she’s impossible to keep subdued. Sneaking her into our dorm was always a chall-”
“She’s been in our dorm and I didn’t know?” Pandora asked with a frown. “Cas why did you hide? We tell each other everything.”
The three boys backed off, pretending to lose interest in the conversation and focusing on their plates.
“I was nervous. I wanted to tell you, but she’s a Gryffindor and I didn’t know if you’d care.”
“Why would that matter if you’re happy? I only care that you’re happy.”
The two girls stared at each other for a while before Dorcas cracked a huge smile. She turned back to address everyone.
“I’ll guess I’ll have to introduce her to you guys. Barty, you’re going to love her.”
—
When Regulus exited his first class of the day, James was waiting outside the door.
“Hello lovely,” he cooed sweetly.
Regulus looked quite surprised, and James briefly thought it was endearing. He shook the thought from his head, confused as to where it even came from.
“I was wondering if you could write down your timetable for me. I had to ask so many people what class you would be in; Marlene of all people knew.”
“What for?” Regulus asked suspiciously.
“So I can plan my route accordingly,” James beamed back.
“Do you plan to walk me to each of my classes?”
James noticed what he thought was a hint of hope in the other boy’s voice but thought nothing of it.
“Of course, what kind of boyfriend would I be if I didn’t?”
The slight blush James had seen only a day ago was back, and he caught himself thinking it was quite lovely against Regulus’ faint freckles. When did Regulus become so charming to him? James shook the thoughts from his head a bit more aggressively. Regulus gave him strange look.
“I’ll give it to you after my next class; I have charms now,” Regulus replied, his voice slightly damp.
Before James could reply, he caught sight of the red-headed girl he was after. Regulus must have seen her as well; James felt him tense.
But something felt off. Her hair didn’t seem as vibrant anymore, and her smile was the same as others. Her burning aura that James usually basked in felt a bit too hot when she passed. James shook his head yet again, a weird feeling settling in his stomach. He’d have to contemplate that later.
Soon the two boys were at the charms classroom, and James pretended to plant a kiss on the back of Regulus’ hand before parting ways. If he sprinted, he could make it to potions in time.
—
Regulus was insanely bored. He’d learned all these charms when he was 10; his parents wanted him to have an advantage. He cast a wordless tempas, groaning at the clock. Dorcas looked over at him in annoyance, jealous of his deep understanding when it came to Magic. If only she knew where it came from.
Regulus was turning to look away when the classroom door burst open, a man with similar features waltzing in.
“Regulus Arcturus Black!” he shouted, his best friend stumbling in behind him.
“Sirius stop!” he called, reaching to pull the other man back and failing miserably. “Regulus I’m so sor-“
“My best mate? You’re with my best mate? What the fuck!”
Regulus would have been worried if it wasn't for the shit-eating grin spread across the other boys face.
“You interrupted my lessons to state the obvious?” he drawled, looking uninterested.
“It’s because you missed me,” Sirius declared.
“What?”
“Admit it. You’re only dating James because you miss your favorite person in the whole world: me.”
Sirius’ words hit Regulus like a ton of bricks. He missed Sirius more than anything.
Don’t cry. Don’t cry. Don’t cry.
“Don’t be ridiculous. Now if you’ll excuse me, I have charms to learn.”
His words were missing their usual venom, instead filled with fondness and a tint of hope.
Sirius was satisfied with this answer, nodding his head and bidding farewell to the class. So what if he lost 100 points for Gryffindor? He had gotten what he wanted: his brother to give him a sign that he missed him too.
James just wishes he picked any other time to do it.