Lucerys' Dream

After taking so long to come around, Aegon was quick to warm up to her in the ensuing of her stopping Otto Hightower from harshly dragging Aegon back to the Maester’s rooms after her brother tried to escape from his lessons.

Laenor was the one to see it, but before he could even act on it, she was already ordering her father’s Hand to let go of her brother. 

The man had persisted a few times, but Rhaenyra made sure to remind him she was the heir and therefore above him and her orders could only be overruled by the King himself. He had let go of Aegon with a sour face and excused himself, parting after exchanging a few words of respect in her direction.

Aegon was the one closest to her that day, even more than his younger brothers, who craved a mother's attention so badly they seemed to sometimes forget Rhaenyra wasn’t their mother.

During the past few moons she found herself spending almost every afternoon with her siblings, reading to them and her children.

She even managed to bring them for a ride on Syrax, showing them how the world and their home looked on the skies, with Laenor’s help, because Syrax could only carry up to two children at once.

Alicent was pregnant again, but this time her mental state was bad and the maids said she didn’t leave her bed for weeks at a time, hence why the children were mostly left on their own.

Rhaenyra tried not to think much of it. Alicent wasn’t her friend anymore, but she still worried regardless, especially when she was reminded of the woman everyday through her siblings.

Despite their Valyrian traits, all four of them desired love and attention more than anything in the world, just as their mother once did. It had been displayed to Rhaenyra through Alicent’s love for romantic stories, something that the Princess once thought childish, but now understood it was the girl’s way to escape the reality of their situation.

And yet, Rhaenyra could also see a lot of herself in them. She could see herself in the way Aegon acted out, just as she did, pretending to be tougher and harsher than he truly was in order to protect himself or in the way Helaena secluded herself whenever she felt confused or scared, but still allowed to be comforted by determined people.

She saw herself in Aemond and his desire to prove himself, trying over and over again, desperate for just a bit of affirmation and even in Daeron, who had many of her mannerisms, even though they barely encountered each other before meeting on that afternoon, now moons ago.

Because of the readings Jacaerys, Daeron and Aemond had taken to High Valyrian wonderfully. The three boys fought more often than not, although usually it was only Daeron and Jace, because Aemond still spent the time she wasn’t reading to him and the others with his head shoved into a book.

It was a strange relationship, the one between her younger brother and her firstborn. They did not get along at all but were always seen together even if the peace between both of them only lasted a little while. 

Laena, Laenor and told her it was normal, however, but she always kept an eye on them, especially when they formed a brief alliance with Aegon to try and bother Aemond.

When it comes to Helaena, she preferred staying silent rather than talking, but Rhaenyra knew she understood everything – or at least most of it – she said in High Valyrian but she had yet to see her sister speak it. The girl was even quieter than Aemond, but her attitude, unlike her younger brother’s one, was more aloof than standoffish. 

“He’s between us,” Helaena had said once, when Rhaenyra was reading about the beginnings of Aegon the Conqueror’s conquest. Her sister had been looking at Lucerys, the boy having barely blinked since she started. “The first Dragon.” And then proceeded to turn her attention back to Rhaenyra and listen to the story as if she had never said anything.

She began to see how her sister reminded her of Lucerys, then. Both of them seemed to be lost in time sometimes, but it was different with Helaena. The girl always seemed far away and most of the time when she spoke, the words came off as advice or a warning – a foresight –, alas Luke wavered between the present and whatever was on his mind.

Her youngest had his first name day a couple of moons earlier and had behaved wonderfully through the feast, allowing the guest to fawn over him and to be passed around without complaints. His little face was solemn as always as he observed everyone around him, but he spent more time on his grandfather’s arms than anyone else while Jace ran around, pulling on people’s clothes to catch their attention and making friends with everyone.

Unlike Jacaerys, Lucerys had no quarrels with any of his uncles or aunt. 

Daeron was the one who approached first, no doubt as a way to annoy Jacaerys. She found both children holding Lucerys’ arms, the babe having the most bewildered expression she had seen on him as his brother and uncle pulled him as if he were a toy.

Jace had cried, hot and angry tears falling on his cheeks, when she told him and Daeron to let go and spent the day whining and trying to go back to Lucerys, whom Helaena had called to play ants with.

Lucerys’ relationship with Aemond, however, started in a turbulent event.

She found Laenor silently losing it outside of the nursery. When she looked past him, she saw it was because Luke had Aemond’s figure book and Aemond was trying to get it back. Well, the book wasn’t Aemond’s, per se, but her brother had it all the time so everyone steered away from it. Even Aegon, who loved to pick on the younger boy – something that Rhaenyra was trying to stop him from doing –, avoided picking up the book.

Aemond was trying to pry the book away from Lucerys’ hands but Luke, with the inhumane force babes possessed, had a really strong grip on it and no matter how much Aemond pulled, the babe didn’t let go.

All of the other children simply watched as Aemond’s face turned red and he struggled not to cry, but before she could intervene and maybe get one of them interested in something else, Lucerys let go.

Aemond didn’t forgive the boy, however, and sneered at him before taking his book to the other side of the room. Her brother was quite the defensive one and by the way he glared at the others, he thought one – if not all – of them had something to do with it.

Walking to the furthest corner of the nursery didn’t save Aemond from having to deal with Lucerys, however. The babe got up and followed him.

She was ready to enter the room before the two of them fought, but Laenor held her back. “Let them solve this by themselves.”

And solve it they did. 

Aemond, despite not being happy with having Lucerys close to him, let the babe sit by his side with a wary look that vanished when Lucerys pointed at one of the pages. “Ba’e’ion!” He exclaimed, shoving his head between Aemond’s arm and tight to see closer.

“Yes!” Aemond’s demeanor changed immediately, always happy at a chance to talk about dragons, and completely forgot his earlier annoyance with Lucerys and started throwing information around that he heard in his classes. “And this one is Caraxes, the Blood Wyrm. Our uncle rides it!”

When Jacaerys got into the room after his nap, Aemond was still with Lucerys by his side.

Her firstborn did not like that very much.

Laenor, however, continued to find it hilarious. He’d also gotten closer to her siblings and sometimes came to read for them, regaining his High Valyrian fluency quickly.

It was Laenor who gave her the idea to try and get her father to come spend an afternoon with them. The children would love it.

And yet, the opportunity never came. 

“Where is he? Where is my son?” Rhaenyra shouted, enraged. Her cry echoed through the common hall and the culprits trembled in front of her. She could feel Syrax respond to her feelings through the bond, her roar reaching the Red Keep all the way from the Dragon Pit.

The maids responsible for Lucerys were in tears in front of her, already kneeling and begging for forgiveness. Rhaenyra didn't care. How could a babe, a boy that had yet to reach his second name day, outrun two grown women?

“Princess, if we could maintain the calm-” Otto Hightower tried to say.

“Your Hand better not be about to ask the Princess to keep calm at my grandson’s disappearance, cousin!” Rhaenys loudly said, punctuating her every word.

The king massaged his temples, looking ready to succumb to his panic, but managed to send Otto a disapproving look.

The Hand nodded demurely, bowing his head.

“I apologize, Princess Rhaenys.” He then turned to the other woman. “Princess Rhaenyra.”

Rhaenyra didn’t even look at him, his words having flown through her head as she was swallowed by her worries.

“I do not want your apologies. I want to know where my grandson is!”

Somewhere in the past twenty minutes Lucerys had disappeared from the nursery room. A boy who still lacked four moons to his second name day somehow managed to get past four grown adults, two maids and two guards. No, Rhaenyra didn’t believe that for one second and from the downcast faces around her, neither did anyone in that room. 

Laenor had left as soon as he heard of Luke’s disappearance and went to search through every rock in that castle along with all the knights, which was what Rhaenyra should be doing if it wasn’t for Otto Hightower saying that it could be dangerous and that the Heir to the Throne should be kept safe.

Enough was enough, however. No news had come in yet and she was going to search for her baby whether the lords liked it or not.

“Rhaenyra-”

“No, father. I am his mother. If anyone is to find me it’ll be me or his father.”

“I’ll stay with Jace.” Rhaenys told her. The boy had cried himself to sleep and now was laying on one of the chairs by the wall so as not to be woken by all the discussion.

Her siblings were on the other side of the room, the youngest ones asleep while Aegon watched in apprehension.

“Can you watch over them too?”

If Rhaenys was surprised, she didn’t let it show. Rhaenyra had told her she was closer to her siblings now, but not to such an extent.

“Of course, cousin.”

She nodded, thankful, and left the room in large strides with Ser Harwin behind her.

Ser Harwin stopped her every time she went past a good hiding place, checking it himself before following her wherever she wanted. In another world, they could have been closer. Rhaenyra had once felt an attraction to him and the man was one of the most honorable ones she’d ever met. 

There probably wasn’t a place that hadn’t yet been looked at, but she still pushed away curtains, bended down to see under some mobile and searched behind statues.

It was like Lucerys had disappeared.

Rhaenyra bumped on Laenor when she was about to round a corner. She stepped back quickly, looking him up and down but his hands were empty. Luke wasn’t with him.

“The only place I didn’t look is the King’s wing.” Laenor said, running his hands through his hair desperately.

Rhaenyra was already turning around, gathering her skirts, and rushing to her father’s rooms, located on the other side of the castle, the other two right behind her. “Do you think he might have gone there?”

“Maybe. He may have wanted to talk to the King.” Laenor heaved and she turned to look at him as they ran past a large corridor. She hadn’t noticed before, but he was drenched in sweat, having probably ran all over the castle to find their babe.

He didn’t let the tiredness slow him down, however, and kept up with her rhythm.

The knights that usually stayed there had been moved to search for Luke outside the castle. Rhaenyra expected many things when she opened her father’s door; for Lucerys to be there alone, for him to not be there… 

What she didn’t expect was to find Alicent, of all people, sitting in the main room’s chair with Lucerys on her lap.

“Mama!” Luke shouted when he saw her, squirming to be let go off and seeming completely oblivious to the scandal he had caused and the limits he had crossed. “Down!”

Rhaenyra tried to find something to say over the storm of sheer relief and horror that hit her. She grabbed the door handle when her legs threatened to lose their strength.

She hadn’t seen the woman ever since her pregnancy, and now that the queen birthed a stillborn, the amount of times Alicent left her room were reduced to none.

“Rhaenyra.” Alicent was the first to speak, her voice raspy. She put Lucerys down and the boy came running to her as fast as he could. “He’s only grown more beautiful.” Her childhood friend complimented, hesitantly. 

“How- thank you, Your Grace.” Her voice cracked and she gathered Luke in her arms, Laenor coming to her side to touch him and certify himself that their boy was alright.

“We apologize on behalf of him, Your Grace.” Laenor came to her rescue. “He should not have bothered you, he must have been searching for the king.” 

“Yes, he did ask for Viserys.” Alicent agreed. The other woman’s face was pale and was thinner than Rhaenyra had ever seen her. 

She never thought she would see her childhood friend this way, a shell of herself, and Rhaenyra could already feel the pain from the memories coming to reach her. They needed to leave, she needed to leave now. 

“He wasn’t a bother, he’s a very polite babe.”

“’ank you.” Lucerys said, just as she had taught him and she felt so proud. She kissed the babe’s head and felt Laenor’s hand on her shoulder, giving her the strength she so desperately needed.

“He gave me a gift.” Alicent continued and when Rhaenyra looked back, she could see the other woman’s hands were trembling as she extended the drawing to her to take. Her face was so, so thin. The lack of food made her brown eyes pop in an unnatural way. “He knew where the drawing utensils were and he asked if I wanted one.”

Every step away from the door made it harder for her not to leave, for her not to sit down beside her childhood friend and try and reach out one last time.

Years ago, all Rhaenyra ever wanted was an apology. An explanation on the whys Alicent would stab her in the back that way.

The drawing made almost no sense, but she could see that there were two heads, one with brown hair and other with white. Rhaenyra felt her lump form on her throat.

“It looks like a beautiful, sweet boy.” She said, voice charged with the storm of emotions that was happening inside her. Then she gave the scroll back. “Thank you for taking care of him, but we must leave now.”

“Wait, please.” Alicent shouted, but the Princess didn’t look back. She couldn’t do it, couldn’t allow herself to be worried over a person that only brought her down. “Rhaenyra, please!”

Fuck.

“What is it that you want, Alicent?”

She turned around to face the girl she thought she knew her whole life. Alicent had only hurt her in the past few years and yet she couldn’t stop herself from caring.

“Thank you, Rhaenyra. For caring for my children when I myself couldn’t do it.”

“It was nothing, I’m their sister.”

“Stay for a while.” Alicent asked just as her hand touched the doorknob. “Please, tell me how they’re doing.”

“Rhaenyra.” Laenor’s voice was worried as he waited for her to decide, but the intonation made her remember the two times, right after birth, that Alicent made her leave her birthing bed so she could see her babes. 

It made her remember him by her side as she walked with Lucerys, the worst of the two to birth, only a couple minutes after she woke up. It made her remember that Alicent had done it to her when she knew Lucerys was born dead, when she knew it was the one thing Rhaenyra feared the most.

Her babe came back to her and Alicent’s didn’t, but it could easily be the other way around. Rhaenyra could easily have died herself from the exertion she put her body through due to Alicent’s pettiness.

No. The romantic, sweet girl she knew in her youth was dead and the girl Rhaenyra once was had been buried with her.

Alicent could ask the maids about her children.

As the Princess opened the doors, she didn’t look back. “I’m sorry, Your Grace, but I can’t. I wish you a fast recovery.”

“It’s my fault, I shouldn’t have said that.” Her voice choked. “I should have just stayed.”

“You couldn’t have possibly known that.” Laenor comforted her, putting an arm around her shoulders. He looked exhausted, with large eye bags beneath his eyes. She knew if she were to look at the mirror she’d see the same thing.

“No, I should have known.” She shook her head. “She’s been this petty before.”

An assassin had supposedly invaded the castle and even after hurting the queen with a clear cut, they still managed to escape. Alicent had thrown a fit and now was prohibiting her children from leaving her room. 

How an assassin could just enter the Red Keep and leave unseen, without killing their target was a mystery.

Rhaenyra hadn’t been able to catch even a glimpse of her siblings in a week and after moons of seeing them everyday she now felt a hollow spot on her chest every time she brought the books for her children to read.

There was so much she hadn’t taught them, so much of their culture they still didn’t know. She had taken those days for granted, had taken their presence for granted and because of a stupid mistake they were now being kept away from her.

She knew who was behind all of it, too. Alicent wasn’t deceitful enough to plan it all on her own.  She had to have her father’s help, that unscrupulous, greedy cunt. They both managed to manipulate her father’s emotions so well, she couldn’t believe he didn’t realize it.

She had tried to talk to him, to get him to let her at least see her siblings, but he told her Alicent’s mental state was worse than ever before and that the Maesters had advised her to be kept as calm as possible. 

It was barbaric that he couldn’t see the truth, couldn’t see how strange it was for the woman to go from not wanting to see her children for moons at a time to not wanting them out of her sight.

And if it pained Laenor and her to not see them, it pained her boys even more. Jace was inconsolable, crying everyday he got out of his classes and entered an empty nursery. 

Lucerys  didn’t even get the chance to miss them yet. Her youngest had been plagued with migraines that didn’t leave him even with the milk of the poppy. It had been almost a year since the last time he had a single one of those, she had even started to think he’d somehow gotten cured of them, but he didn’t. 

Right after she left her father’s rooms that day, Luke had gone back to holding his head between his hands as he cried silently, but as the days passed he became unable to hold back his pained whimpers. 

“You can’t blame yourself, Rhaenyra. You were more than in your rights to react as you did.”

She broke down crying again, caressing Luke’s locks as the boy got a brief relief of the pain by sleeping. “I miss them.”

Laenor only hugged her tighter.

“I miss them too.” He whispered. “She won’t be able to keep them with her forever.”

She wanted to believe him, she did.

But she knew it wasn’t true. As long as Alicent and Otto Hightower had her father’s on their clutches, she would never be close to her siblings again.

 Moons later, she was laying on the divan with Daemon on top of her, his head resting above her breasts as she caressed his locks.

“Say the word and I’ll kill him.” Her uncle whispered to her, his words dripping with vicious intent. 

It had been Jace’s fifth birthday that day, and despite all the time that had passed since the last time her boy had seen his uncles and aunt, he still asked if they weren’t coming.

Rhaenyra felt as if she were being stabbed by a dagger. 

Her uncle hadn’t understood how fast she’d gotten close to her siblings at first, but he’d been choleric all the same when he heard of what happened. 

“And have you got caught and killed?” He opened her mouth to take her thumb in and her breath hitched.

“If I were caught, Viserys would just send me to Dragonstone again.”  He bit on her finger. “But I wouldn’t get caught because then I wouldn’t have you.”

She couldn’t simply not smile at that when he repeated the gesture, she caught herself thinking of Luke. Rhaenyra rarely got the chance to look at Daemon from an upside perspective, but his smile looked a lot like Lucerys’, now that her boy had a full set of teeth. Even the way his lips twitched as he tried to contain his amusement was the same.

She traced his mouth with her thumb, still getting the same bubbling feeling on her stomach every time she realized could touch him like this. Almost six years had passed since the first time she bedded him, and yet she still felt the same unrestrained desire.

“I wish you could stay with me forever.” She said, changing the subject and the air around the  conversation both because she didn’t want to talk about Otto and Alicent anymore, but also because it was the truth. It was a feeling that stayed with her at all times, embracing her body, suffocating her slowly every day she had to spend away from him, from Laena.

“When you are Queen, no one will even think of coming between us,” He promised, and unlike her father, she didn’t have to fight herself to believe him. Daemon always kept his words and he had proved it to her many, many times. 

“I’ll have you, Rhaenyra. I’ll be at your side, just as Laena and Laenor will.” His face was serious, gaze intense as he stared at her and his mouth opened a few times as he pondered whether or not to tell her something when a blood-curdling scream cut through the silence of the night.

They both immediately sat up. Rhaenyra felt her head swim with the whiplash of going from relaxed to alert so suddenly.

She pulled on her nightdress as Daemon put on his trousers, but the silence stretched on and the two of them looked at each other, wondering if they had imagined it.

Just as Rhaenyra’s heart began to settle, another scream sounded, so horrifying she felt the hairs of her back stand on. 

The doors leading to where Laena and Laenor slept opened, her husband leaving the rooms in a panic while Laena came after him, eyes wary.

When the scream sounded again, it was in the form of a word. “No!”

“Lucerys.” She recognized, getting up and running out of the room as fast as she could, almost hitting the door in her frenzy.

Laenor overpassed her quickly, strides long and fast as he ran through the corridors with a speed only a man could be capable of. 

Her son’s room was not far away from hers, she’d never allow it, but the single seconds it took for her to reach her child’ chambers felt like a lifetime.

Laenor was already by Lucerys side, trying to take the boy away from his brother’s arms as Jace cried and tried to hold on to him, having probably gotten to Luke’s room just seconds earlier.

Daemon started to inspect the room for intruders but the Princess knew this wasn’t a man or woman’s doing. Luke always faced nightmares – night terrors, was what the Maesters called them – but it was never that bad.

“Let me have him, Jace, it’ll be okay, I’m here now.” Laenor asked. Luke screamed again, contorting himself out of Jace’s embrace. The vein on his neck stood out in a horrifying way.

Rhaenyra put her hand on her mouth, controlling a sob and threw herself on the bed, pulling Jacaerys away from his brother and wrapping herself around the boy so Laenor could try and calm Luke down, but nothing was working, the babe was still crying himself into such a state of distress he was starting to have difficulty breathing. 

The last time that happened was when they tried to take her babe’s dragon away from him, but there was no sign of anything that could have made Luke be in such shape.

“Let me hold him, Laenor, take Jace and let me hold him.” She cried, extending her arm so her husband could give her Lucerys. Jacaerys went to his father easily, and Luke, still trapped inside his dream, did not react as he was passed over.

“Winter… men…” The boy babbled against her ear and she moved him over, putting him on her lap. He went from mumbling things to straight up screaming in a matter of seconds and no matter what she did he did not wake. 

Rhaenyra was already trembling, barely able to hold the boy on her arms as he writhed on her arms when Daemon walked over and began to give weak slaps on her babe’s cheek, calling out his name.

Rhaenyra covered Lucerys’ face, fear being overtaken by rage. “What do you think you’re doing?” She spat.

Her uncle stared at her, unmoving in face of her anger. “We need to wake him up now, if he continues this way he won’t be able to breathe anymore.”

Lucerys began to scream once again, trashing in her arms and choking on his own saliva. She rolled him over, begging him to wake up over and over, despair rising inside her as Luke only continued to scream and Jace started to turn hysterical on Laenor’s arms, who was trying to cover the boy’s ears. Rhaenyra herself was reaching her breaking point fast, she needed to think.

“Laena, Laena, take him away from here, take Jace with you.” Laenor begged his sister, and Laena was quick to comply, grabbing Jacaerys from his father’s arms and getting him out of the room. 

It took all of Rhaenyra not to ask her cousin to come back once Jace begged to stay. She did not want her boy to see this, he was too young, he should not witness any of it.

Laenor came by her side as soon as Jace was out, and tried to throw some water on their son’s face to rouse him, but it was also fruitless and Luke was already turning purple, movements growing slowlier as the strength left his body.

Then he stopped breathing altogether.