alone
Peter walked into his dark bedroom, the one in the complex, the one that he assumed had not been touched in four years. He sat down on his bed, gingerly picking up the Spidey plushie that Mr. Stark had given him as a joke years ago. Tears began to flow down his face. He didn’t even bother to wipe them away. He didn’t care. He didn’t care about anything. Not anymore.
He wished he could go back in time. He wished he could stay in the soul world, oblivious to the fact that while the world had been saved, his world had just ended. He wished he could stay dead if it meant Mr. Stark would stay alive.
But it was too late.
And he sobbed, knowing that what was lost would be lost forever.
And there was nothing he could do.
A blink of white light interrupted him and caught his attention.
A flicker kept his focus. The light was coming from his wall.
And then the wall lit up. How did he not notice this whole time that the entire wall had been a screen?
And when the wall lit up, it lit up into a video.
A video of Mr. Stark.
“Hey, kid,” he said affectionately, sadness hidden behind his eyes. “If you’re watching this, it means that you made it back from Titan. It also means that I did not. And kid, I’m glad that you’re alive, even if it means I’m not. You’re capable and you’ve got your whole life ahead of you. You’re going to do great things. You’re a better man than me and probably smarter too. I know you’d argue with me on that if you could, but you can’t, so that automatically means I’m right.”
Mr. Stark cleared his throat and ran his fingers through his hair.
“There’s a few things I need to tell you, Pete. The first thing is this: don’t blame yourself. Please, please don’t blame yourself for any of what happened. None of it was your fault, I promise. You’re a lot like me, kid, and I know that like me, you have a tendency to internally take responsibility. Please don’t do that this time. We both know what it’s like to live in the guilt of another man’s death. That is a heavy load to bear and it’s not one you deserve to carry. So please believe me when I tell you that none of this was your fault.
“Second. I can not believe I’m saying this, but I hope Cap is OK. I think you two will get along really well, if you try. He really wants to get to know you, kid. I think you should give him a chance.
“The third thing is the most important. Peter, you may not biologically be my son, but you are my kid. I really care about you, and I trust you more than almost anyone else in my life. And you have so much potential, and I know you’re going to do great things. That’s why I’m leaving you half of my company and money. You are now a multibillionaire, Parker. Don’t waste it. Don’t be like me. But I know you won’t be, because you’re better.
“Point number four. Your identity. Now, you know as well as I do that identity is a powerful thing, not something to be wasted. But, people might be a little suspicious if a random kid inherits a huge sum of wealth a famous billionaire. That being said, you are documented as my intern, but on paper we don’t have any further connection than that, and an internship doesn’t seem like quite a good enough reason for someone to leave that much money to somebody. It’s entirely up to you, but if you want to, now might be a good time to tell the world who you really are. May can stay in the Avengers complex, which you now pretty much own anyway. And if you have a girlfriend - or a boyfriend, or whatever - they can stay there too. So that wouldn’t be a problem, they’d be safe. I’ve already told the other Avengers that when you’re ready they can have a press conference and finally introduce the world to Spidey. But only if you’re ready.
“And that brings us to our fifth and final point. The Spider-Man suit. As you know, I’ve found refuge from my anger and anxiety in building superfluous extra suits. And recently, I’ve been more anxious than I think I’ve ever been before. Well, I know I’m not gonna live for much longer, so I don’t know what a shitload of suits is going to do for me. So anyway, if you go down to my lab, you might see a couple new suits that I made for you. And I’ve left instructions on how to build more and how to change them, but you don’t need them. I’m sure you’ll figure it out just fine and within two days you’ll be hacking them and making them so much cooler than I ever could. I know you.
“And Peter, most of all, I just want to tell you that you meant the world to me. And I’m not the only one who cares about you. Be safe. You’re not a child anymore, in fact you’re an adult now. You can drink. You can drive. Preferably not at the same time, but I know how it goes. And I wish more than anything that I could have been there for you during those years. I wish I could have come to your graduation, congratulated you on getting into college, helped you study (not that you’d need it), seen you grow up... i wish I could have been there for you, kid. But at least you’re alive. And that makes it all worth it. So, don’t waste time on me; go out there and change the world.”
Peter watched the video three more times, and then realized that the wall TV also contained thirty more videos, all of which Tony had made during the years that Peter had been gone. Not many of them had much information; most of them were just to update him on how the war was going and tell him about Pepper and Morgan, who was now three years old.
One of the videos was to tell Peter about how Tony had known his parents and how because of that, he felt responsible for Peter, how he felt party responsible for Richard and Mary’s death and would do whatever it took to keep their kid alive too, why he wanted Peter to be one of the Avengers and work with him just like his parents had but also felt responsible for him and didn’t want anything to happen to him, why he was so eager to recruit Peter but so insistent on keeping him safe and giving him the best technology available. And, surprisingly enough, in that video, Tony told Peter not to blame Bucky. Because, as Tony had learned over the past few years, it wasn’t Bucky’s fault.
Tony told Peter about how his father had left him messages after his death, and he wanted to do the same thing but do it better, because he would be a better dad than Howard even after his death. And Tony reminded Peter about all the voicemails and texts he had left Tony and the vlog he had made in Berlin, how he listened to, read, and watched them all over and over, wishing he had responded while he still could. How they had helped him get through some of the toughest times. “And hopefully these videos will help you, just like you helped me. Because I may not be there, but you have these videos, and you can know that you’ll never be alone.”