Chapter 19
A knock, at your door.
"Who is it?" You called out, and when there was no reply, turned from your computer and scrubbed your face with your hands. "Just... go away or something, unless you're Nat or Wanda or Tony."
No answer.
You felt yourself draw out a long sigh. "No answer means no entry, you know."
"It's me, doll." A voice said from the other side. "Bucky."
You drew in a sharp breath and your fingers closed around the gun, as always strapped to the bottom of your table. "Why are you here?"
You knew you were being paranoid. You knew nothing was going to happen.
Then why did you feel so scared?
"Just wanted to talk."
"What do you mean you just want to talk? There is no just talk!"
"Come on, doll." He pleaded.
You snarled. "If you want to talk to me, you're either going to talk to me separated by a door or strapped to a table. I'm not taking any chances to have an attack, Barnes."
A sigh. "(Y/N)..." Hesitation. "...we have to stop doing this."
"Doing what?" You snapped, your voice coming out harsher than intended. "I mean, doing what?"
"This." He sighed, again. "You're ignoring me or being scared, and I'm guilty as fuck. We have to sort this out or it'll never be fixed."
You snorted. "It'll never be fixed, huh? Darling, I had five anxiety attacks this week because of you and I almost got shipped off to the hospital in one of them, in another I did get shipped off but got released in two days and in one I only got healed because Wanda did a temporary fix."
Silence, then- "I never knew the memories affected you that much." In a smaller voice. "I'm sorry."
"You're sorry, yeah?" You knew you were being unjust, but you had to pour out this vent-up anger at someone- and the most rational choice right now seemed to be Bucky. "Did you know I waited and begged? Every day, I begged for you to kill me if you loved me, and you didn't show that much of a reaction. You showed a reaction when you saw Steve at the bridge. He told me. That means I meant less to you than Steve? I meant less to you than anything? Does that mean I meant anything to you at all, other than a toy they threw you and let you have fun with? And that's not all." You took a deep breath. "When I got released from HYDRA by the Avengers, I waited for you. I thought you could be alive, no, I begged you would be alive or you would come back to me as the Bucky I knew. But you left me hanging." You slumped in the chair and crossed your arms over your chest. "You don't get anything. You don't get it, Bucky, how I fake a smile for everyone just because I have to, and they'll probably make me take therapy with Nat. I don't cry for their sake, and I get up from bed every morning because of it. I already fell from the cliff you put me on. There is no (Y/N). I'm just a shell."
A few clicks, and you heard the door open. Those familiar footsteps headed towards you and a hand landed on your shoulder- a cold metal hand.
You shook the hand off. "Gedoffa me." You mumbled.
His head drooped sadly. It was really depressing. "Come on, (Y/N). Another chance."
You glared. "No."
He nodded, so fucking understanding.
You're going to miss him.
This isn't good for both of you.
This is your last chance.
Bucky was the best man you could ever have.
His heart belongs to you.... don't break it.
A sudden strength surged through your limbs and you grabbed his wrist, turning him around. "Wait."
"You don't have to rub it in my face, (Y/N)."
You shook a little from being this close to him. "I... I want to give you another chance."
His eyes widened. "A... are you sure?"
"Y...yeah." You took a deep breath and nodded. "I... I am."
"Then I love you." With happiness sparkling in his eyes, Bucky kissed you.