Flashback, warm nights
Did I disappoint you or let you down?
Should I be feeling guilty or let the judges frown?
'Cause I saw the end before we'd begun,
Yes I saw you were blinded and I knew I had won.
I've kissed your lips and held your head.
Shared your dreams and shared your bed.
I know you well, I know your smell.
I've been addicted to you.
Goodbye my lover.
Goodbye my friend.
You have been the one.
You have been the one for me.
I am a dreamer but when I wake,
You can't break my spirit - it's my dreams you take.
And as you move on, remember me,
Remember us and all we used to be
I know your fears and you know mine.
We've had our doubts but now we're fine,
And I love you, I swear that's true.
I cannot live without you.
Goodbye my lover.
Goodbye my friend.
You have been the one.
You have been the one for me.
Everything was touch for Steve with Bucky.
----Flashback----
*3 weeks earlier*
“What if something bad happens?” Bucky asks one night, curled up in Steve’s arms.
“Nothing bad is going to happen,” Steve reassures for the umpteenth time that week.
“Look it’s not that I don’t trust Tony. I’m just a little…”
“Paranoid?”
Bucky sighs.
“It’s understandable, Buck. 70 years of torture and not knowing who you are you’re not exactly trusting the world. But you trust me right?”
Bucky looks up at him.
“Of course. You really dont think we’re being watched?”
Steve laughs. “I mean we probably are. We aren’t exactly off anyone’s radar but … nothing like what you’re suggesting.”
Bucky breathes in and nods.
“Hydra’s not going to get you again, Bucky. You’ve got Captain America protecting you.” Steve grins and pulls Bucky back into him.
“Well shucks. Lucky me.” Bucky laughs.
“Everything will be alright.” Steve says, kissing Bucky’s neck.
A few days later is when it all happened, and everything fell apart.
“You sure about this, Steve?” Bucky asks wandering around their apartment.
“Look I don’t know all the technicalities but Tony knows what he’s doing.” Steve follows.
“So this training is going to let me tap into The Winter Soldier without actually becoming him?”
“That’s what he says.”
Bucky bites his thumbnail.
“And if something goes wrong?”
“It won’t.”
“If.”
“There will be plenty of trained men to take you down.”
“And Tony said all of this?”
“Yeah...well wrote. It was in all the files had sent over.” Steve points to the files stacked neatly on the table. Looking untouched but really they were looked at daily by Steve.
Bucky sighs. “You guys really have to talk face to face more it. This whole thing causes me anxiety.”
“Yeah it’s a bit hard with him running basically the new SHEILD.”
“You’re Captain America. Don’t you have some kind of priority.”
“Yeah a bit,” Steve grins. “You gotta stop worrying, Buck.” He pushes Bucky’s hair back behind his ear. “We did talk face to face about it months ago. It just took him a bit to get more technical about it.”
“Uhuh.”
“You don’t have to go if you don't want to. No one’s going to say anything against it.”
“No, I should. Otherwise I wasted 70 years right?” Bucky jokes, his humor darker than it used to but Steve still cracks a smile after his sympathetic look.
“Well Tony said he’d be there a few days earlier to set up and make sure everything is running right, meet with you. Then he’ll overlook everything while you’re there.”
Bucky nods along to what Steve is saying and breathes in. “Well alright. I guess that’s not so bad. And you can’t come because…?”
“I have to train that new Agent remember?”
“Oh right. That redhead.”
“Jealous?”
Bucky laughs. “God no. He still bothering you?”
“Just follows me around all the time. I’m sure he’s nervous.”
“Course he is. He’s training under Captain America.”
Steve smiles and Bucky doesn’t know why but he feels a surge of sadness, like something was going to go wrong and this would be the last time he’d Steve like this. But he shakes it away. It was just his brain psyching him out again, like it always was.
“Guess I should get packing,” Bucky announces, walking toward their bedroom. “Am I supposed to bring things?” He asks. “Like other than clothes.”
“All weapons will be provided,” Steve states as if he’s read the exact instructions several times before relaying the information to him.
“Okay, good. That’s...good.”
Bucky throws his clothes from their drawers in a duffel bag and heads to the bathroom for the items he’ll need in there.
“You really don’t have to do this, Bucky, if you don’t want to. Or if you feel nervous? I can call Stark up now and delay it if you need more time.”
“No, no it’s okay, Steve.”
Steve doesn’t look convinced. Bucky walks over to him.
“Really,” He says, grabbing Steve’s hand. “I’ll be fine.”
Steven nods. “Okay then.”
“Okay.” Buck smiles and heads to the front door.
“You’re forgetting something.” Steve says and Bucky panics.
He packed everything, shirts, pants, boxers, toothbrush, that gross body wash/hair wash combo they only used when they really had to pack light.
“What?”
“You’re forgetting something,” Steve grins and walks to the door. His fingers run smoothly through Bucky’s hair and Bucky realizes. He breaks into a big smile before Steve leans down and kisses Bucky’s lips. His thumb tracing the spot when they break apart.
“Call me when you get there and call when you head back.”
“I will,” Bucky says.
“And I’ll check in with Tony.”
“Of course you will.”
Steve sighs and looks at Bucky. “It’ll be okay.”
“I know it will.”
Steve nods and seems to try to find something else to say, to delay maybe.
“I’ll see you in a few weeks, okay.” Now having to be the convincer though his gut was still screaming at him. It’s just nerves.
“Yes.” Steve says and gives one last of his magnificent smiles. Bucky unaware it’d be the last time he’ll see it.
A car picks him up by the curb and 3 hours later after trekking through some woods for the last hour he finds himself in front of the looks of a basecamp. Suspicion quickly arises in the first minute when he doesn’t see Tony right away and it gets even stronger when none of the men seem to give any sort of warm welcome. I mean he knows what he’s dealing with but still wouldn’t a nice welcome help the matter in some way.
Tony must be busy. Bucky thinks. It’s a reliable explanation.
“So uhh is Stark here,” Bucky asks to no one in particular. “Kinda want to check in with him before we do anything.”
The men all look at each other as if they made some tiny error they thought would go unnoticed.
“He’s not here.” One says.
Bucky nods. Not good. “Oh I was told he’d be here before I arrived.”
“There were some delays.” Another answers. “Traffic.”
Traffic. Traffic makes you an hour late, maybe 2. Traffic doesn’t make you 2 days late.
“Right. Of course.” Bucky tries to breathe down the panic. Steve. Steve. Got to call Steve.
“Call me when you get there.” Of course that wouldn’t be suspicious.
“Mind if I make a quick call? I promised the boyfriend I’d call him when I arrived. Wouldn’t want to worry him.”
The men once again look at each other and nod. Bucky whips out his phone and thanks God for Stark technology and whatever a satellite phone was.
“Hey, Buck.” Steve picks up on the 2nd ring.
“Steve.” Bucky starts walking for some privacy but notices the other men following his movements. They keep their distance to keep some suspicion down, Bucky assumes.
“Hey,” Steve says again. “You alright? Was the trip okay?”
“Yeah,” Bucky answers the second question. “Was a long ride, you know? Made me think about something.”
“Oh?”
“Yeah one thing has been bothering me a bit.” Bucky looks to the men who quickly look away. “There’s this movie that came out I think after I ...well after we both basically became not a citizen anymore. Well maybe it came out while we were away I can’t keep track.”
“Bucky what are you talking about.”
“It was um It’s a Wonderful Life. You ever seen it?”
“I...I think so. Around the time I was unfrozen maybe.”
“It’s good. It’s always played around Christmas. I caught it on TV one time. A guy sees what life is like if he was never born”
“Yeah I recall that now. Buck what does this-?”
“Do you remember it though? The details.”
“Yes. Buc-”
“Your friend in the red suit. I need you to ask him something.”
“Uh,” Steve stumbles his words on his own confusion. “My friend in the red...who? Parker?”
“No, not the kid.”
“Wade?”
“Jesus,no. Red suits and designer suits.”
“Tony?”
“Yeah ask him if he thinks the angel was actually evil.”
“What?”
“Sent by the wrong..being maybe. I mean he wasn’t the smartest to handle such a sensitive mission you know?” Buck waits. Come on, Steve
“Bucky...Wait...you want me to ask Tony that?”
“Yes.”
And with that Steve seems to get it. “Why...Bucky why can’t you ask him?”
“Steve…”
“He’s not there?” Bucky can hear the fear in Steve’s voice.
“No but see it’s really bothering me, the movie, you know? Think you can ask him?”
“Just stay on the phone.”
“Yup.”
Bucky hears the hold tone and waits. He smiles to the men and gives a gesture like ‘Relationships amiright?’ and rolls his eyes. “Yes, honey.” He says to the tone.
Steve comes back on. “Bucky…” He says quietly. “He’s not...He doesn’t know what I’m talking about. I mean he knows what I’m talking about but he’s. He’s not supposed to be there. This wasn’t supposed to happen. Bucky I...I’m so sorry.”
“It’s okay.” Bucky sighs. Steve does not deserve the guilt for this.
“No it’s not it’s...someone got a hold of Tony’s files someone acted as him. This isn’t supposed to happen.” Steve says again.
“I know. So the angel really was just a dumbass I guess. It’s not your fault you haven’t seen the movie recently”
“Bucky, you need to get out of there.”
Bucky looks around. “Yeah it’s a good theory but I don’t see it happening now that I think about it. Devil wouldn’t want to help a good guy ya know?”
“You’re not making sense. Can you get out? Away from them?”
“Too many….theories.”
“Bucky,” Steve breathes out his name.
“You know the other thing I can’t stop thinking about...and I mean this honestly.”
Steve sighs, he’s scared, Bucky can tell.
“I can’t decide what is sadder… George’s mom not knowing her own son is pretty sad I mean...of course it is... and he was affected by it, sure, but maybe he figured every child’s parent will forget them at some point because it didn’t convince him but Mary...Steve, Mary loved George since she was a little girl but she didn’t know him at all. She feared him and ran from him.”
Bucky can hear Steve’s breathing and if he was there with him he’d know the tears spilling out of Steve’s eyes.
“I don’t want to be a Mary, Steve.”
“Just… Bucky please just stay on maybe I can get Tony to track it or something I..”
Bucky looks at the men, he stands straight. “I don’t think I can do that, Steve. I think I’ve been compromised.”
The men look at each other, clear their throat in almost unison and prepare themselves.
“It’s going to be okay, Steve. Everything worked out for George in the end anyways, right.”
“Bucky I…” There’s a pounding in the distance. Steve clears his throat. “Someone’s at the door.”
“Who?”
“Redhead.”
“Don’t answer it.”
“He could help.”
“Just talk to Tony before you go off trusting people okay? Be careful.”
“Always.” Steve says.
“Steve?”
“Hmm?”
“I love you.”
“I love you too. So much. Come back to me?”
“Always.”
But damn Steve because Bucky can hear the door opening before he hands up the phone.
Bucky clears his throat and stares down the men. “So...before we get started….anyone want to throw up a white flag or something.” Bucky grins and the view of the men coming at him is the last view he remembers for a long time.
Because then he’s running.
He’s running with limited memory.
He’s running in fear.
He’s tired but he’s still running with only Steve on his mind.
Find Steve.
He has to get to Steve.