Chapter 6
Two weeks after the dancing incident you found yourself sitting on the couch upstairs, your feet in Bucky’s lap and his arm around your waist. That night when the two of you danced together, seemed to break down many walls both of you had. Now the two of you were closer and everyone was noticing.
You asked each other a plethora of questions and learned more about him than you ever thought you would. You learned about his sisters and in turn, you talked of your eccentric family. You joked about how they would be more in awe than scared of him. You confided in one another for many things, but you had yet to ask about something you’d been curious about for many weeks now.
“Hey, can I see your arm?” You felt Bucky tense next to you. You figured he would, but you were curious about it for so long. “If you don’t want to that’s fine, but I guess I’m just curious? Of course, if it’s too much I won’t bring it up again.”
You wanted him to be comfortable. Even though he was around so often, he always wore a long-sleeved shirt or a jacket. You didn’t mind it before, but now that it was getting warmer out, you knew that it must be a real pain in the ass to keep wearing them.
Bucky stared at you for a long time, searching your face for… something. When he finally found whatever it was he was looking for, he slowly pulled off his sweatshirt and revealed the tank top he was wearing under it. You tried to hide your fascination, but you figured that wasn’t working out. You were so fixated on his arm that you didn’t notice the soft, longing look he was giving you.
“Does it ever hurt? Can you feel things?” You traced up his arm and spent extra care and time tracing where skin meets metal.
“No, it doesn’t hurt. I can feel things sometimes but it’s not the same. S’more of a pressure.”
You nodded and couldn’t help lifting his hand, tangling your fingers with his. “Can you feel me doing this?”
When he didn’t answer, you finally met his gaze. His pupils were blown and he looked so hungry. Suddenly you felt very, very small. You also realized that somehow you’d found your way onto his lap, straddling him.
“I’m so sorry! I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable. I totally didn’t even-“
Before you could finish speaking his mouth was on yours. You couldn’t deny how much you wanted this. How much you wanted him. But, you didn’t want this to be a one-time thing. When he broke the kiss you murmured his name, but he went in again. This happened a few more times until you couldn’t take it anymore. You’d never been one to cry often but you could feel your eyes pooling with tears.
“James.” He froze and his eyes widened when he saw the tears.
“Shit, babydoll I’m so sorry. Fuck, this isn’t how I wanted this to go.” He looked so distressed and lost and scared that you couldn’t help the soft giggle that came out. He said he didn’t want it to go this way, which meant he wanted it to go a certain way. That meant he’d thought about you.
You couldn’t help the giggle that escaped your lips. “Bucky, I like you. I know you might not be ready for anything like that. Hell, you might not even like me like that - Lord knows I’m nothing special - but I wanted you to know.” You’d never confessed to someone before and it was quite a daunting task. However, being with Bucky, trusting him, you knew he’d at least let you down softly.
It seemed as though you’d broken him though. You wondered if your employees would believe it if you’d told them you had succeeded in short-circuiting the winter soldier. Worried, you slowly shook your hand in front of his face.
That seemed to be the best and worst thing you could’ve done. The next moment you found yourself against the sofa and under the man you’d come to trust. His eyes bore intensely into yours and, though you were scared of rejection, you’d embrace everything he gave you.
“Babydoll, you are an angel among men. The fact that you think you’re nothing special when you’re so perfect to me. You’ve accepted all of me, even this,” He flexed his metal arm, staring at it with malice. “You’re so good to me doll. If you’d be willing to have me, I promise I’d do my best for you.”
You grinned and threw your arms around his shoulders, pulling him down to press your nose against his. You were ecstatic. “Of course, I’ll have you, old man.” Nappy, alerted to the elated and fuzzy atmosphere from your giggles, pressed his nose between both of you. Bucky snickered and pressed his hand against the animal’s cheek.
“Here that bud? My girl thinks I’m an old man. Ain’t she just too heartless?”
“Shut up you.” You hit his chest and laugh at his silly antics.
“Damn. Now she’s abusin’ me.”
You roll your eyes and kiss your new lover, melding against him easily. Your hands found their way into his soft hair while his own traveled down your sides and up your back. You felt so comfortable and happy at that moment, you couldn’t help the small smile that broke through. Bucky seemed equally happy about the predicament you pleasantly found yourself in. But when you pulled back to see Bucky with the goofiest smile on his face?
Yeah, you could definitely get used to this.
x
Since that night that you shared soft confessions and passionate touches, things had gone relatively back to normal. However, he touched you more, and in moments alone, he quickly found his face in your neck and his arms on your waist. Two months had gone by and Bucky was at your shop at least once a week, but he slept over your house almost every night at this point. You were close, undeniably tethered at the hip.
Today though, you wished you could swap for any silent day you held close. You’d never seen Bucky so angry, practically seething, even at his best friend. You understood why he was angry, finding yourself cornered and overwhelmed by a group of soldiers and agents was certainly not how you planned your Sunday evening. However, it was understandable, and you should’ve known that the avengers would show up eventually. They had to have noticed that one of their own was disappearing for days at a time.
Right now, you’d pushed multiple tables together to accommodate them and laid out leftovers from today. In short, you were trying your best to make this seem less like an interrogation and more like a get-together of friends. Bucky wasn’t helping though, and that was worrying you most. Even though he was often in a quiet, brooding mood today was much worse than usual.
“So why don’t you go out often? Obviously, your shop operates out of your house, but you rarely leave the house unless absolutely necessary?” It took you a moment to answer.
“I have social anxiety. Seeing a therapist helped and I’m better but I’d still rather avoid situations if I can.” You knew your soldier was staring at you, but you weren’t embarrassed. You’d learned to accept who you are, disorders and all.
The avenger nodded mutely, and you went back to looking at your lover. He wouldn’t sit down even when you asked him. You were sure he’d expected you to his first name. You quickly learned that he’d listen to you when you’d say it and you decided not to use it often, if ever. So instead you let him stand behind you. However, it seemed like he was slowly getting farther away from you and the group. He was currently a good 10 feet away from you.
It worried you greatly. Your boyfriend was irate and the fittest people you’d ever seen were across from you. You had to admit you were slightly starstruck, why wouldn’t you be? Captain America, Black Widow, Thor, Hawkeye, and Falcon were sitting across from you.
You figured you definitely had reason to be distracted.
“-of being with him?”
You snapped out of your thoughts when you saw your super-soldier bristle and heard the growl in his throat. You didn’t know what Natasha said, nor did you particularly care. You were up in a second and walking towards him. You heard multiple warnings, but you fell into Bucky easily, holding his arm and pulling him down to you.
“Hey, are you okay? I’ll kick them out right now if you need me to James.” He buried his metal arm in your hair, and you couldn’t help but smile.
“I will keep you safe. I promise you that.” His soft and broken murmur against your ear had you glaring daggers into the avenger’s direction.
“I’m sorry, but you’ll have to excuse us.”
“I’m sorry, we didn’t mean to be rude. We just wanted-“ The captain stuttered out an explanation, but you didn’t want to hear it. You’d never seen Bucky so worked up before and wanted to calm him down quickly. You hated seeing him like this.
“I said I’m afraid you need to go.”
You rubbed Bucky’s back and watched as Captain America pushed the others out of the door and gave a soft apology. You saw the sad look he gave you, but you couldn’t bring yourself to care. You watched the door close and stood there for a long time, helping your soldier calm down