This one doesn’t even deserve a title
Peter was giggling while he stumbled into the tower in his suit. The receptionist looked like she didn’t know what to do with a giggling, bleeding Spider-Man.
He was swaying on his feet. He decided to turn his sudden loss of balance into a dance move. He twirled and hit his back against the desk and grabbed his stabbed leg in agony. Still giggling.
“I’m here to see the Avengers- no no-I’m here because I’m an Avenger? I’m here to be a bad guy. Wait a-wait a second,” He bursted out laughing. “Spider-Man isn’t a bad guy. He’s a,” he tried to explain, giggling. “He’s a umm,” Peter faltered. “Bad guy.”
Peter finished his speech and waited to be let up. The receptionist seemed to not want to have anything to do with that and let him up.
“What the hell, kid?” Clint asked, clearly thinking what everyone else was as he ungracefully tripped out of the elevator.
Peter just stared at him like he had two heads. Clint pointed to the very noticeable blood flowing down his leg. “Ohh that,” he giggled, “it’s my period,” Peter said. He proceeded to nod to himself as if congratulating himself on the lie.
“You’re period?” MJ deadpanned, beyond unimpressed.
“Uhhh yeah, MJ,” Peter replied as if it were the most obvious explanation, “you haven’t gotten that talk yet?”
He took MJ’s cold glare as confusion and he dopily pointed at Steve. “Cap, take it away.” Steve went as red as the blood seeping out of Peter’s leg.
Bruce leapt up from his chair, pulled bandages, which he apparently kept in his pockets at all times, and attacked Peter with them.
“Ok what the hell happened while we were gone?” Tony asked incredulously. MJ, Ned and Shuri looked at each other and then back at him. They looked just as confused as he looked. Everyone turned to Peter as if he was any less confused.
“The churros,” Peter growled from under his mask. “The churros they- they came and uhh knife.”
Deciding that that answer explained everything they pretended to ignore it. Everything these kids did was confusing.
Just as they were about to sit back and relax, the elevator chimed and out stepped Nick Fury.
MJ and Ned fled the room tripping over each other. They scrambled out passed Fury into the elevator and while waving their goodbyes, the doors closed.
If Fury was surprised, he didn’t show it. He merely looked confused. Tony chuckled quietly to himself. That seemed to be the constant mood around the spider kids..
“Rogers,” he started, “why is Spider-Man not in the interrogation room?”
“Sir,” Steve said in his measured Captain America voice, “he was bleeding so we had to get him medical help.”
“And instead of the medical room, you brought him to the kitchen?” Fury asked incredulously. Peter nodded enthusiastically. Too enthusiastically. Blood loss was one hell of a drug.
“Why is this man bleeding anyway?” He asked. “How does someone manage to injure themselves in a cell handcuffed?”
Clint answered for the group out of the very little information they had, “churros.”
Fury rubbed his forehead feeling a migraine coming on.
Peter was put back in the interrogation room after being treated for his wound which was already mostly healed. He was no longer dopey. He was glad that he had his mask on, as sweaty as it was. He didn’t trust SHIELD at all never mind Mr SHIELD himself.
Fury sat down opposite him like the others had done when they wanted information. This time, however, everyone was in the room. They had refused to leave him. Peter beamed under the mask.
“What’s your name,” Fury started with. “Parker,” Tony answered for him curtly.
Fury sighed, annoyed at Tony’s antics. “Age and Date of birth?”
Peter hesitated. The team looked at him in a mix of curiosity and concern. “18, August 27th 2000.”
Yeah he knew he couldn’t get away with any older. And the maths for the year was simpler that way.
“Jesus, kid,” Fury ribbed his hand over his face. “You’re too young to be doing this.” Peter groaned internally. He had gotten enough of those talks before. Most of them being from Daredevil. He was glad that Fury didn’t know that he was any younger. He’d probably flip.
“Is that all, sir?” Natasha asked a little forcefully. She stepped forward and opened the door almost forcing the man out of the room. She led him out of the room despite him saying he wasn’t finished.
“I don’t know a damn thing about that man,” he said as she gently nudged him into the elevator. “Good,” she decided and the doors closed. They all stared at her. She just did that. To her boss. Wow.
She shrugged, “He’ll forgive me. And I kinda like the little spider.”