Hello Sarah. Hi Tiffany. Those shoes look familiar
Peter always wanted a Tony Stark “I am Iron man” kind of reveal. He also did not want one at all ever.
He realized that if Ned, MJ and him just left now, which he had no doubt they could, the Avengers would just bother him or try to kidnap him again whenever he went patrolling.
He also realized that that would be incredibly inconvenient and so he came to a conclusion. If he was going to have to do a reveal, it was going to be obnoxiously extra.
He snatched his mask off, threw it on the floor and shook his curls dramatically. He beamed up at the undoubtably shocked faces on the Avengers. Ned clapped and whistled at him. MJ rolled her eyes but, of course, showed her support in clapping as well.
“Dear god you’re worse than Tony” Shuri announced lightheartedly.
The Avengers seemed to be in a trance. They stared at the young boy for an uncomfortably long time, gaping and gasping. The only ones not in that trance were Natasha, Thor, Shuri and Wanda. Wanda reluctantly slipped $20 into Shuri’s hand.
“Nope” Tony decided, clapping his hands together, and noped his way out of the room. He was shortly followed my the suddenly mute team leaving Natasha, Thor, Shuri and Wanda with the spider team.
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“This cannot be happening. We did not just kidnap a fetus.”
“No we didn’t, Tony. He’s got to be at least 18. Right?” Clint asked more to himself than anyone else.
“What do you mean we didn’t, Barton? He’s fresh out of the womb. Oh no. The womb belonging to an angry mother. Oh and there’s a father. Oh no.”
“You think his parents don’t know anything?” Clint asked incredulously. As a parent he really couldn’t see his kids hiding as big of a secret from him for so long.
“Well would you let your kids run into burning buildings and get kidnapped too many times to count?” Tony’s mind was racing with thoughts, none of which being useful. Steve was muttering something about no doubt filled with guilt. Bruce was looking a bit too uncomfortably green for anyone’s liking.
Finally a useful thought came to Tony which hit him like a train. Who they left unsupervised in the room together. “Shit.”
As predicted, there was chaos in the room when they entered. The spider boy had his eyes closed, swinging Thor’s hammer in his very not cuffed hands. Huh, so he could’ve broken out of them the whole time, Tony thought to himself.
Shuri was throwing teammates’ shoes for him to hit baseball style. Somehow without looking the boy knew where they were and hit them back. This amazed everyone in the room who wasn’t a Spidey sibling.
MJ and Natasha sat whispering about something together which worried Tony immensely. He knew if those two ever teamed up with Pepper, he’d have to flee the country.
Then there was Thor who was now throwing the chair that the spider boy had sat on along with Shuri.
Ned was pointing out something on his phone to Wanda and said “That’s me and him dressed as Luke and Darth Vader for Halloween a few years ago.” He then swiped on his phone and showed the next picture with a few “awwws” and laughs coming from Wanda. Wanda then pulled out her phone for him. “That’s me and my brother from ages ago.” Ned laughed and said something but Tony stopped caring.
He cleared his throat and finally they were noticed. The chair was dropped out of Thor’s hand immediately and he tried to play it off as if it was never there. Shuri yelped and threw a shoe at where she thought the noise was coming from. Which just so happened to be Tony’s face.
Tony decided that he hated Fury.
Once the room was put back in order, Tony sat across from the boy once more.
“Where are your parents?” He began with.
Peter hesitated, no doubt setting up to say the worst lie in the histories of lies. MJ decided to help the poor guy out. “Oh them, they’re-“
MJ whispered her plan into his ear, cutting him off. Her plan that she had learnt from the master of playing with emotions, Ms Natasha Romanoff herself. Natasha nodded at her and showed a resemblance of pride on her face.
The plan she had told Peter was to make the Avengers feel as guilty as possible. That way when her, Ned and Peter escaped, (escape is a bit much they could probably just walk out) then the Avengers wouldn’t hunt Peter down every time he went patrolling. Him being a kid was already a bonus. Tragic backstory? Even better.
The only problem was, Peter Parker was the worst at feelings. Feeling sad? He always blocked it out. Feeling stabbed? Didn’t bother telling her or Ned. It was almost as if he didn’t know how they really work. So him trying to make a room full of superheroes feel guilty was never going to work that well.
“I have so little parents right now” Peter said.
MJ sighed dramatically and dropped her head into her hands. Peter somehow managed to take that as his cue to continue.
“Like the littlest amount of parents you’ve ever heard of before, Mr Stark. In fact I would go as far as saying I have so little parents that I don’t even have ANY, sir.”
Despite Peter’s disgustingly bad effort, it seemed to work. The Avengers shifted uncomfortably and didn’t meet the boy’s eyes. “You’re an orphan?” Tony asked. With a nod of the vigilante’s head, to everyone’s surprise he groaned. Most people would say “I’m sorry for your loss” or just look sad. For Tony, this seemed really inconvenient.
“Of course you are. Great. Why couldn’t you be, I don’t know, not an orphan?”
“I’ll work on it, sir.” Peter couldn’t help but feel a tinge of annoyance. May was the closest thing to a mother he had and she was damn awesome.
“I’m sorry for your loss and for Tony’s behavior.” Steve said still looking way too guilty for Peter’s liking.
Peter shrugged, it was THE Tony Stark after all.