Everything In Between

"Barty, fuck off!"

"You're the one making this a big deal!"

"'Making this a big deal?' Are you fucking serious?!"

Regulus groans as he wakes up, turning around on his bed, covering his ears with his pillow. His friends are idiots. Everyone in this world is stupid. Even James fucking Potter. He just wants to sleep. Peacefully and unbothered.

He shifts on his bed, covering himself with the blanket over his head. They stay quiet for a second, and that's when Regulus knows peace, and when he's sure they won't speak again—
"You know who's serious?"

That makes Evan let out a string of curses at Barty. Ugh. Just what he needed, a mention of his brother. Regulus decides to give up on sleeping. He sits up, taking the covers off him, his mind still foggy with sleep.

"Can you both shut the fuck up?!" He exclaims, blinking tiredly, looking at both of them.

"Morning, Reg," Barty says, turning around to look at him with a smile. He's standing in the middle of the room with Evan.

Evan is pissed off. His ears are red, his hands are on his hips and he's looking mad as hell. He's breathing quite quickly.

"What happened?" Regulus finds himself asking, rubbing his eyes in hopes that the sleep rubs off him.

"He ate my chocolate frog!" Evan answers.

"Oh, you both are children," he grumbles as he gets out of his bed.

"It was mine!" Barty states.

Regulus continues to ignore them as he steps into the bathroom after grabbing his clothes for the day, closing the door. Barty and Evan keep on bickering, back and forth. He's seriously considering locking them both in a broom closet until they fuck, because it's time. He has seen them both fall in love with each other ever since Barty got that stupid letter from his father when they were thirteen and ended up sobbing in the common room. It was late. Everyone was off to bed. Evan simply sat next to Barty and looked at him with such gentleness. If that wasn't love, then it was something even more beautiful. Stronger. Something that could tear apart the world. But, well—then puberty came, and they suddenly decided to be assholes to one another.

Regulus thinks it's pathetic. They just have to talk it out. Why won't they just talk it out? Honestly, fuck them. They should—

Regulus takes a deep breath. He's been moody lately. He thinks that it's a side effect of the potions he's been drinking. They stop his period, but, well. The bad mood stays. He has also brewed one that makes his chest flatten out, lasts for a couple of hours, and works just fine. Even though it makes his toenails purple, for some odd reason he can't figure out yet. That's the one he grabs from the cabinet; it's in a small bottle, and when he opens it, he's hit with the smell. He takes a sip and swallows it quickly.

Oh, the sacrifices. It tastes like owl shit.

He then rinses his mouth and brushes his teeth. Changes. He also washes his face before going out. Barty and Evan are now changed, sitting close to each other in Evan's bed, putting on their shoes.

Merlin, have mercy on them. Their dynamic is so weird.

"Done fighting, yet?" Regulus asks.

"Barty's taking me out to the Three Broomsticks," Evan says to Regulus, as Regulus sits down on the edge of his bed, putting on his own shoes. "Says he'll pay and everything, so. Deal."

"I'm not happy about it," Barty tells Regulus, standing up from the bed, straightening his tie.

Regulus scoffs. "You two are idiots. Fighting for a chocolate frog…"

Which, apparently, is the wrong thing to say.

"It had sentimental value!"

Barty sighs loudly, turning to look at Evan. "Oh, Evan, just quit it."

"It was a gift from Pandora!"

"I did not steal your chocolate frog. In fact, I haven't eaten chocolate in months."

Regulus shakes his head. "I'm going to get breakfast."

He doesn't bother to wait for both of them to follow him to get out. But they do. In a few seconds, they're standing next to Regulus outside the room. He shakes his head. Unbelievable, that's what his friends are.

The common room is not crowded, just a few people chatting here and there. Most of them don't even care about Regulus, and the others just look weirdly at him.

Thank Salazar, Regulus is good at ignoring people.

Barty throws an arm around him, "Hey, if someone bothers you today, just ask us for help."

"No, thanks." Regulus shrugs off Barty's arm before he wants to throw up. He hates people touching him. "I can take care of a dead body just fine."

The three of them soon find themselves walking to the grand hall, and that is when he really feels that everyone is looking at him. He can't ignore their gazes anymore. He used to hate it. He still does, but now… now a part of him feels proud that they're looking. Like it's saying, Hi, yes. This is me. This is the real me, fuckers. He kind of gets why Sirius likes attention now. Still, it's uncomfortable, and as long as a small part of him likes it, the other one is making his skin itch.

If you had told Regulus Black from last year where he finds himself now, he would've fainted. He's not only perceived by the people he cares about as a boy, but he's presenting himself as one. And right now he's walking through the grand hall like himself without a single amount of fear. This, to Regulus, is a huge fucking win.

He walks towards where Pandora sits, sitting next to her, like every other year. And yes, she's from Ravenclaw, but they're always sitting together, so no one bats an eye.

"Reg!" is what she exclaims. She's smiling, which is good. Regulus and Pandora had sent letters the whole summer, and his fear was irrational, but he was scared that she would suddenly be unsupportive the moment they saw each other. "Oh, you look lovely!"

"No need to be so dramatic," he says, sitting up straight to serve himself a cup of coffee as Barty and Evan sit next to him. "Unfortunately, Sirius Black is my brother; fortunately, we have the same parents, so that means we're both quite disgustingly beautiful."

"Still hate him?" She asks, taking a bite out of her peanut butter and jelly sandwich. "Though you two had made up this summer."

"We have," Regulus agrees, sipping on his coffee, "but he still pisses me off."

His eyes dart to the Gryffindor table, like a reflection. He finds Sirius immediately because, well—in a room full of people, Sirius is the one he looks at first.

He's the first person Regulus looked up to. It wasn't his mother or his father. It was Sirius. Always trailing behind him, doing as he said. Sirius had told him this summer that when Regulus was learning to speak, he used to repeat everything Sirius said. And then, when he learnt how to walk, he followed Sirius everywhere.

They are bonded by blood, and he's thankful for it, because that makes them bonded for a lifetime—that even if they fight, they will still be brothers. This reassures Regulus as well as upsets him, because having this blood also means that he's the son of his mother. But, well, he has learnt in the last few years that good things come with bad ones. No life is perfect, and he's painfully aware of it.

He then spots James next, who's next to Sirius, talking with Marlene about something that he seems to be excited about. It makes him feel a bit jealous. Not because of Marlene—as far as he knows, she's a lesbian—but because he wishes he could just. Sit there, next to James. And talk. As simple as that. But it is never that simple, is it? He is mindful of the risks of coming out. He knows there are people that don't accept who he is. He's thankful to have not run into Lestrange or Snape. There's no doubt that they'll give him hell.

Fuck. James and him aren't even dating, so he shouldn't even be thinking about the consequences of James being his boyfriend because they're not boyfriends. (Yet?) They haven't established what they are. Sure, they have to be more than friends, yes? There's no way kissing in secret is friends behaviour.

"Dora," Evan calls out, taking Regulus out of his train of thought. "Barty ate your chocolate."

Barty drops his fork to his plate, rolling his eyes. "It wasn't her chocolate; it was yours. And I didn't eat it!"

Before they start again, Regulus quickly finishes his coffee and shoves a piece of toast down his throat so he doesn't feel so hungry in the first hours. He wants to see James before classes. There's no reason behind this, he just wants. Wants, wants, wants. It's something he's been feeling lately. Just a dreadful feeling of yearning. He doesn't know why, but it continues to sit on his chest. Right on his heart.

"I forgot something in the dorm," he says, before standing up. "I'll meet you guys later."

His friends don't have the time to answer as he walks away. Most of the students are having breakfast, so the halls are pretty much empty when he steps out.

In his mind, he counts as he keeps on walking. Pace slow.

Five.

Four.

Three.

Two.

One—

"Regulus!"

Fuck yeah.

"Hi," James says, catching up next to him. Regulus doesn't turn around as Potter rushes towards him. He's running out of breath, which is ironic for someone who is the Gryffindor Quidditch team captain and has toned muscles so deliciously looking that it makes Regulus want to bite them.

"Hey."

"You alright?"

Regulus frowns at the question, but doesn't look at James. "Yes, why?"

James shrugs. "Just asking."

"Are you alright?"

"Yes, yes." James seems to struggle to walk at the same pace as Regulus. "Merlin, you walk so fast. How is that even possible? Whatever. I'm fine. More than fine, actually. I'm fantast—"

Regulus abruptly stops walking, which almost makes James trip as he crashes his chest to Regulus'.

He turns his head around to look at James. "Is there something you want to tell me?"

"No, pft. Why would you even think that?" James says, laughing. He stops abruptly. "Yes, okay. There's something."

"I'm interested," Regulus states. "Continue."

"So polite, as always." James smiles. Stops walking, too. Regulus waits a few seconds, awkwardly looking around.

Potter seems to be a bit lost in all of what is Regulus. He tends to do that a lot.

"So?"

"Oh." James blinks. Laughs. His face flushes. "Right. Uhm. Meet me in the astronomy tower? Next Friday?"

"Hour?"

"Midnight."

"Isn't that too risky?" Regulus questions with a frown.

"We have a party planned for Friday, and our parties are fucking great, so. Everyone we know will probably be there, unless some third year or below decides to go to the astronomy tower at midnight."

Regulus scoffs, indignantly. "I went as a third year to the astronomy tower—"

"Just—" James cuts him off. "Think about it, alright?"

Regulus is going to answer when the bell rings. Well, fuck. Can somebody let him speak without cutting him off? It's annoying.

Before people start filling the halls and realise they are both talking to each other, Regulus walks away to his first class without looking back.

"Alright team!" James exclaims as he is on the Quidditch pitch. His whole team is reunited because he insisted on a first-day meeting to see the progress they had made over summer break.

This, of course, made everyone a bit fussy (except for Sirius, who would go to questionable lengths for his best friend). But it's a nice day out, and James always lets everyone fly for a while without really playing, and they all seemed to be enjoying themselves. It's a nice way to start practice, just letting them all be. He doesn't want to be one of those types of people who make practice hell, like he knows the Slytherin captain team does. Quidditch is for people to enjoy! Not to get angry and scream at each other. He gets that they always want to win, but he also does, and he's not being an ass to every one of his team.

Winning the cup is big and important—to him, it is. He's leaving his last year with the Quidditch Cup, no matter what comes along the way.

James Potter is leaving Hogwarts as a legend.

He stomps the end of his broom on the floor to add to the dramatics. "This is my first last day as your captain—"

Sirius, who's standing next to him, leans to him and then whispers, "Last first day."

James clears his throat, standing up straight, a bit embarrassed. "Sorry, last first day."

Marlene, on his other side, chuckles. "You idiot."

"Oi!" He exclaims, turning around to look at her. "I'm being serious!"

"No, I'm—" before Sirius can finish his sentence, Marlene's smile quickly drops and sends him one of those looks of hers that you don't know if she wants to lock you up in a broom closet or kill you. Or both. "I'll shut up."

The rest of their teammates laugh, and then it's James who sends them a death glare, softer than Marlene's, but still makes them all shut up.

"As I was saying," he continues, "this is my last first day as your captain. And I really, really want to make the best of it this year, okay? And for that we have to practice and work hard. And yes, I do care about winning, but I enjoy playing, and I hope you do, too. Also, I don't want you all to dread practice. Playing is fun, yeah? Let's keep it that way." And to end, he adds, "We're going to win that cup!"

He stomps his broom again, this time it doesn't reach the floor but lands on Sirius' foot instead.

Sirius immediately shrieks dramatically, dropping his broom and looking down at his feet, instantly and in pain, "Oh, my beautiful toes!"

"Alright, everyone," Marlene exclaims as she gets on her broom before the situation escalates. "Everyone, up on the air! C'mon!"

James' thankful for her as the rest of his teammates follow her lead. He stays next to him as Sirius crunches down, then falls limp to the floor, hugging his knees.

"Pads," James says, falling to his knees to kneel next to him. He knows Sirius is being dramatic, but he also feels fucking bad about hurting him. "I'm so sorry. Are you alright?"

Sirius makes a pained noise.

"My toes." He rolls to his back, and it takes a second before he's cackling, lying in a starfish position. "I'm fine. I'm not hurt. You just—fuck, James. You're strong."

James sighs in relief as he lies next to Sirius. "I was being dramatic! You were in my way!"

Sirius reaches out to punch James shoulder. "Shut up."

They laugh, and then James is wrapping his arms around Sirius, who lies on his chest. Boundaries to them have never existed. They are always close—maybe too close to be best friends—but who the fuck is one to make the rules? Honestly. Best friends should be able to hug like this and not be seen as a romantic couple. Yes, Sirius and James love each other; and yes, their whole relationship is platonic. But that's what makes it beautiful, James thinks. The fact that they're able to love so purely without having to make it romantic.

"So," Sirius says, "last first day, huh?"

James looks at the sky. Marlene is keeping the team busy. "I can't believe we've made it."

"Merlin, I don't want to leave."

The air, all of a sudden, feels heavier. James has been thinking about this all summer. He's so worried about his future. Not so much about what he's going to work at, but especially about his friends. The people he loves are his life. Thinking about going separate ways with his friends makes his head hurt.

"I don't think I want to, either." Sirius sighs, nuzzling his face in the crook of James' neck. "Hm, what do you think it'd be of us? In a few years from now?"

"Clearly we're living on the same flat."

"Yes. Of course. No one is doubting that."

Sirius' smile suddenly drops, and he sighs, rather sadly. This catches James attention.

"Pads? We're going to be alright, yeah?"

"I know," he says, more to himself. "Being out here just… doesn't seem right. I sort of grew up thinking Hogwarts was my home, like—Hogwarts was all I had, and now… Well."

"You have me now," James says softly. "You can take my home as yours."

What James says, he means it. He knows Sirius has always had a hard time adjusting to living with Monty and Effie, like he doesn't know if he totally fits there. In a happy home. With loving parents. Which, he does, but James gets the idea as to why Sirius doesn't think he does. Fuck Walburga and Orion, they deserve hell for having two beautiful, wonderful and gentle kids and treating them like shit.

Sirius looks up at James, eyes sparkling. "You mean I can crawl my way into your heart and live there?"

James chuckles. "Yes, if that's what you want."

"Hm, it's an honour." Sirius pulls away from James' chest to lay on the ground on his side, elbow resting on the ground, palm holding his face as his other hand goes to rest over his hip. Dramatically, he tosses his hair away to his back. "Sirius Black, not heir of the Black's but heir to James Potter's heart."

James' heart goes warm and tender right then and there. "Merlin, I love you."

Right when Sirius is about to say it back, Marlene flies close to them. "Oi! Fuckers! Trying to shag?!"

Sirius smirks, looking at her. "Wouldn't you like to know, McKinnon?"

Marlene rolls her eyes. "You men are just gay for each other."

"Oi!" Sirius exclaims, but he's already standing up.

"Just grab your brooms for fuck's sake!"

Sirius looks at James mischievously, as he's also standing up. "Last first day race?"

James barely has the time to process what Sirius says when he's already grabbing his broom from the ground. "What?"

"Bye."

James gets on his broom immediately. "Oi! Pads—"

Sometimes Peter doesn't get his friends.

I mean, he does. Just not right now.

Sirius and Remus are on James bed. Remus is sitting up, resting his back on the headboard while he reads. One of his hands is holding up the book he's reading, and the other one is combing through Sirius' recently dried hair. Sirius is lying down, facing Remus but dangerously close, with his eyes closed.

Sirius and James had come from practice. Sirius was the one to shower first, and now James is singing in the shower, so Peter is the one sitting on his bed, witnessing their interaction.

Peter thinks they should just… date. As far as he knows, they have only kissed when they were fourteen in some stupid Spin the Bottle game. They didn't talk for a solid month after it happened, and fuck, was it horrible. Remus would avoid Sirius at all costs, and avoiding Sirius also means avoiding James, and avoiding James means avoiding Peter. So Remus was just… avoiding them all. And they missed him. Also, Remus is the one keeping the dorm clean and without any chaos. During that month everything was messy. It stopped when James locked them up in the dorm until they figured their shit out. James and Peter had stood near the door after putting a silencing charm on the dorm so they didn't accidentally hear something they didn't want. They were just there for moral support and in case things escalated badly and someone needed help. After a few minutes, Sirius opened the door. Remus was standing behind him.

"We're done," he had said.

James frowned. "What?"

"Done fighting, idiot." Sirius smiled. "We're back to being friends."

After hearing Sirius, something crumbled inside of Peter. Stupid assholes. He was really expecting them to say they had made out and were dating. It took a look with James to know they were both hoping for the same thing. At least it all went back to normal—they talked and were very touchy with each other, like always. As far as normal means to them, anyway.

James comes out of the bathroom, already dressed. He plops on Peter's bed, face down.

"I'm so tired," he whines.

"You're the one who schedules practice," Remus reminds him, lowering his book to look at James.

"It was a good practice," he mumbles against the mattress, eyes closed from exhaustion.

Remus looks at Sirius, who is now asleep. "I can tell."

"Oh, don't sound so angry." James says, raising his head a bit to make himself heard. "You can't blame everyone except Sirius when he's tired!"

Remus clicks his tongue. "He complained that his body hurt!"

Peter rolls his eyes. Remus has always been weirdly protective over Sirius.

"As if that was my fault!"

"Well, maybe it is!"

"Stop bickering, children," Peter says, a little tired. "Sirius is fine."

Remus rolls his eyes. "But—"

"Nuh-uh," Peter shushes him as James lowers his head, cheek pressed against the covers of Peter's bed. "Sirius is fine."

Remus sighs in annoyance but doesn't say anything else. There's a moment of quietness in the dorm. Remus keeps on reading with one hand on Sirius' hair, James stays still on the bed, and Peter keeps on sitting there.

"So, uh," James cuts through the silence after a while. "First last day."

"Last first day," Sirius mumbles in his sleep as Remus pushes hair away from his face.

"Yes." James cheek goes pink with embarrassment. "That. Last first day."

"Fuck. We get out, and then there's adult life," Peter complains, lying on his back with James shoulder pressed against him.

"Don't remind me," James grumbles. And after Remus takes too long to answer, he speaks, "Moony? You alright?"

Remus doesn't take his eyes off his book. "Yes."

"You've been on the same page as I got out of the bathroom," James points out.

"I'm fine, James."

"Alright."

There's a beat, and then, "How did you know I was on the same page? You're not even looking at me."

James chuckles tiredly, "I can look at you through Sirius eyes."

"For fuck's sake." Remus rolls his eyes, putting his book down. "Sirius is asleep. He has his eyes closed."

Remus turns his head to check on Sirius, but now Sirius is lying on his side and looking at him with his eyes wide. "Hi, Moony."

"Merlin!" Remus exclaims out of sheer terror. "I'm going to have a heart attack with you two. How do guys keep doing this?"

Peter is the first one to laugh. The whole bed shakes when he does.

"Don't laugh!" Remus says.

"But it's funny," Peter says.

"No, it's not!"

James chuckles, sitting up, "It was!"

Remus rolls his eyes, once again. "I'm going to get dinner."

When he's getting out of the dorm, James walks to him and almost tackles him into the ground. Sirius and Peter stand up too, trailing behind them. Sirius, on his side, is laughing.

Peter looks at his friends. At the people he loves.

He already feels nostalgic.