Chapter 26
The repeating sound of the pen hitting against the notebook is something you’ve grown used to and, as unexpected as it can be, it turns out to be kind of relaxing for you.
But not to the man beside you.
You glance to your left on the couch and see his leg bouncing. The drop of sweat running down his forehead is also evident as his arms are kept crossed in front of him. Bucky is obviously nervous and Heloise being so quiet while staring at him from under her glasses with an unreadable expression for so long certainly isn’t helping.
It was your idea to start couple’s therapy with her and now it’s your first session together. Heloise has been helping you so much throughout this time and, as sure as you and Bucky are of how you both feel for each other and what you want from the relationship, it felt right to seek some professional support to help you find the right pace. Even with her peculiar ways – which you’ve particularly fond of by now- you know she’s the right one to help you.
Heloise clears her throat. The exaggerated loud sound cuts through the silence and makes Bucky flinch beside you. Her eyes finally advert from him to you while she points her pen at him, “Now I can tell why that other doctor went bananas for this one,” she deadpans.
Bucky chokes on absolutely nothing and you can’t help but smirk, “You should see him shirtless.” You wink at her, ignoring when Bucky gasps even harder than the first time and snaps incredulous big eyes at you.
Heloise’s shoulders move as she chuckles and writes something down on her notebook. Bucky cocks an outraged eyebrow at you. With a smile on your lips, you shake your head dismissively and give him a reassuring squeeze on the knee. He still seems unconvinced, though, eyes narrowing suspiciously at you. He’ll get used to her eventually.
Heloise claps her hands, grasping your attention, “Alright, let’s make this relationship last. Spill all the juice.”
~~~
5 YEARS LATER
The giggles are loud enough for you to hear from outside the front door of your apartment. Her giggles, to be specific. The smile comes out easily on your lips just to the sweet sound of it.
You take in a deep breath before twisting the knob. As soon as you walk into your apartment, the voices become clearer.
“Don’t lie to me, daddy.”
“That’s all true, I’m telling you, if Uncle Steve see a little tiny spider he’ll be quaking in his boots, my Sun.” Bucky’s voice is soft an amused coming from the kitchen.
Summer’s sweet laughter comes shortly after as they continue the conversation.
Wanting nothing but to hold them tightly before you get to tell them the big news, you drop your bag to the floor by the door and whistle the four tunes the three of you have come up with and that belong to you only. A way to recognize each other without needing any words.
They’re quiet right before you hear a chair scratching against the floor and tiny bare feet running to you.
“Mommy, mommy, mommy.” The little ball of energy rushes into the living room and lashes herself to your legs.
You’ve been on a mission for days now and you were only supposed to comeback on Sunday, but it’s one day before and your presence here is a surprise for her. A pleasant one, you can see.
“Hello, my little sun,” You laugh, reaching down to pick her up. She’s much heavier now at the age of 6 than she was as a baby, but you still love to take her in your arms just as much as you used to, especially after so many days away from her, depending solely on video calls whenever you had a little time to see her, “I missed you so much,” You lean back and take a good look at her, seeing how much she’s grown to look just like you – except from the eyes, which is all Bucky - and attack her little face with kisses as she squirms and giggles, wrapping her arms around your neck.
“Me too.” She pops a long kiss on your cheek back as you step to the couch and sit down, keeping her on your lap, “Daddy’s making cupcakes, I know it’s almost lunchtime and he said he wasn’t gonna but then I told him I really, really, really wanted to eat his cupcakes because they are so good and better than the ones at the bakery, and then he decided it was ok, and then he made a lot of chocolate, vanilla with chocolate chips, blueberry, strawberry-”
As she continues her childish rambling, your eyes travel to behind her shoulder and meet the sight which will never cease to take your breath away. You take in a shuddering sigh as Bucky leans his side to the doorframe, arms crossed in front of him, watching you and Summer with that look in his eyes. That look that comes with a small smile and makes you very much aware of your thundering heartbeats and tells you how big his love for you and your daughter is.
Over grey shirt and sweatpants, he’s wearing his black apron, the one which Summer gave to him at Father’s day, after using her fingers to write “Super Dad” with white paint and he never takes it off when he’s in the kitchen.
You smile as he leans away from the doorframe and walks towards you. Without breaking his gaze from your, not even once, he sits beside you and pulls your chin for a kiss. You sigh through the soft and longed touch of his lips.
“Ugh, daddy, I was talking to mommy,” Summer puts her little hands on both your cheeks and pulls your faces apart from each other, making you both chuckle a the imposed separation.
“Sorry, honey.” He fumbles with her hair, “But daddy missed mommy very much.”
“It’s ok,” She forgives with her signature sweet smile, “I missed her, too.” She leans forward and lets her head rest on your chest, hugging you with a strength she should possess.
“Aw, I missed my two little suns so much,” You hug her back just as tightly and props a kiss on Bucky’s cheek.
Bucky hums and keeps running his hand through Summer hair as talks again, “Not that I’m not happy with the surprise, but weren’t you supposed to be back tomorrow? How was the mission? Is everything ok?”
“Yes… I think it is,” You gulp, swallowing down the words that are desperate to come out but you still have no idea how to say them.
He frowns at you, not pleased with the answer, but visibly doesn’t want to start an inquiry in front of Summer.
“Did you fight a lot of bad guys, mommy?” She asks, not moving away from the spot where she’s nuzzled into you.
“I did, my sun.” You run your hand back and forth over her back, “Me, Auntie Wanda and Uncle Sam.” You tell her after placing a kiss on top of her head. She always loves to hear about your missions.
Her powers have been slowing showing signs, being mostly expressed on an uncommon intelligence that allowed her to learn how to read at 3 and build her first artificial intelligence (a little pug she named Maggie) at 4 with the help of her Uncle Tony, who’s always more than happy to allow her wander around his labs. Her physical strength is still shy inside her, but you know it will soon flourish. You know she’ll be a great fighter someday. Hell, she already is.
“I can’t wait to grow up and be a badass,” You and Bucky exchange looks due her choice of words but she goes on, unfazed by it, “Just like you and Auntie Wanda, and Auntie Nat, Auntie Carol, Auntie Pepper, Auntie Shuri and-”
“Hey, daddy’s pretty badass, too.” Bucky puts on an exaggerated pout, placing a hand on his waist.
“Of course you are, daddy.” She leans away from you and turn to him to pat his beard, “Your cupcakes are super badass.” She says, before continuing her chanting of the names of her super aunties.
You look at him and laugh at the smug satisfaction on his face by her answer before not being able to resist in placing a kiss on his cheek one more time.
The mission to rescue Summer five years ago was also Bucky’s last mission. It was no secret, that life was never what he really wanted and after discussing it in therapy and a lot of talking with you and Steve he decided it was time for him to dedicate himself to the mission of his life: taking care of his daughter, you and, most importantly, himself.
Whenever people ask, he says with a notable amount of pride in his words, that he’s a stay at home dad. By the way, he’s become very popular among other parents (mostly moms) that were regulars at the parks he usually takes Summer to. He doesn’t know, but there’s a group chat of moms where he and his qualities as a dad – physical included- are the main subject. How do you know that? After Summer’s kidnapping, you’ve become very keen to find out exactly who interacts with her, and being an Avenger is very useful to provide you the right tools for it. Yeah, you tell yourself that’s the only reason why you spy on those moms… but they’re harmless. You’re very fond of a particular thread where they mentioned how much he gushes about you.
“Mommy,” Summer gasps, “It’s Saturday, you’re going to uncle Harry and Auntie Nat’s house with us, too.”
“Yes, of course, baby. I can’t wait.”
Nat and Harry’s famous Saturdays Movie and Dinner nights. They’re your neighbors now. After the wedding, the five of them - Harry, Nat, the two kids and Harry’s mom- moved to a new apartment on the Tower for safety reasons. Tony has made the place impenetrable after what happened to Summer and nothing like that ever happened again.
You’re thrilled to have all your friends – your family - so close to you. Summer worships Jon and Luna, who’ve been growing up so fast, turning 11 real soon with a Harry Potter themed party, which you’ve been helping Nat to plan for her kids. Yeah, her kids. She’s not just Auntie Nat for Luna and Jon, anymore. It happened at Summer’s 3rd birthday party by one of the Tower’s pool, a year before Harry’s marriage proposal. Luna was running after a tiny stray kitty when she tripped on her toes and fell right to the ground. Her crying was loud as she held her injured knee close to her chest. Harry and Nat were at your table and they both promptly got up.
You could see how strongly Nat had to hold herself back to let Harry run to the little girl’s rescue, who already had her twin brother by her side, trying to console her but to no avail. She had already confided in you how much he loved those kids, but didn’t really know how far she could go with them without imposing. But what made the jaws from everyone around drop was when Harry kneeled beside the kid only to make her cry even harder and scream pointing at Nat, “No, I want my mommy.”
“Come here, mommy, please,” little Jon pleaded holding his twin hand and looking at Nat’s direction.
All eyes snapped at Nat and it was just a split second that she looked taken aback before rushing to attend the little girl, succeeding to calm down her daughter almost instantly with the help of her son.
While Harry kept a goofy smile on his face the whole day, Nat spent an hour crying in your bathroom. They ended up adopting the kitty which caused Luna’s trip and naming him Rocket.
“I’m so happy you’re here, mommy,” Summer throws herself into your embrace again.
“Me too, babe,” Bucky nuzzles into the crook of your neck, managing to embrace you and Summer with his metal arm.
Your eyelids flutter shut and you sigh, relishing in the pile of pure affection you’re under, breathing in the love they have for you.
The sweet quietness doesn’t last long as the child in your arms straightens up briskly, making Bucky’s arm drop from her back as she stares at him with widened blue eyes matching his, “Daddy what about our surprise?”
Bucky stiffens beside you as you turn to him, “Ooo, really?” You inflate the astonishment in your tone, licking your lips in anticipation. Surprise with Bucky and Summer when you come back from missions always means some delicious food he prepares to welcome you back.
You frown at how Bucky aims a flustered glare at Summer. Oh, this is new… Your narrowed gaze turns to your child to see her little hands flying to cover her mouth. You have to hold yourself back to not laugh at her theatre. You know her so damn well, you’re certain she didn’t let the said surprise slip out by accident and it intrigues you more.
“What are you two up to?” You tilt your head at Bucky.
Still looking at Summer, his expression softens and his smile is indulgent at her, before shifting his gaze back to you, “Well, I guess there’s no better time than now,” He turns back to her, whispering “I have an idea, come with me.”
Without further notice they both get up briskly, Bucky takes Summer’s hand and ran to the kitchen, leaving you open mouthed behind as you hear soft laughs and whispers between them.
Well, that’s just fitting. No matter what they might’ve planned for you, it’s rather unlikely it will beat the surprise you also have for them. You have absolutely no idea of how you’re going to tell them that, only that you must tell them soon or you will burst into anxious little pieces right there.
It’s only a few more minutes when, at the living room entrance, their sight catches your attention. You smirk while side by side they walk to you. Summer with a huge grin on her face, while a nervous little smile curls Bucky’s lips. You only notice Summer has one arm behind her back when they both kneel on the carpet in front of you.
You’re up till now amused face by their antics falls and your frantically beating heart rushes up your throat. Your suspicions are confirmed when Summer brings her arm in front of you and reveals the blue velvet box you thought was securely guarded in your bedroom’s safe. You hadn’t another sight of it ever since you moved apartments. She opens the box and there it is. The diamond Bucky bought you years ago.
“Mommy,” Summer’s sweet voice makes you lift your astonished gaze to her, “Will you marry us?”
A sob slips out of your mouth and you turn to Bucky to see the tears already shining on his expectant eyes, gleaming with warmth but also with a little bit of uneasiness, you can tell.
He pours all his love into his gaze to quietly mouth for only you to see, “Will you marry me, my love?”
“Yes.” You don’t need a second to think as you sob out your answer, “Yes, of course, I will marry you,” You repeat more steadily despite the tears and you drop to your knees in front of them to grab both of your loves into your arms. While Summer squeals her joy, you feel Bucky breathing deeply, holding you back as strong as ever.
“Thank God,” he whispers, “I love you, I love you,” he repeats in your ear, before trailing a path of kisses to your mouth.
You two turn into a couple of 6 year olds just like your daughter, giggling and laughing as he pushes away only to gently take the ring Summer was guarding in her hand and finally, finally put it in your finger, where it always belonged. You’re the one to grab his face by the neck and kiss him again, hoping he can feel all your love. You know he does as he kisses you back just as fiercely.
The shy giggles makes you break the kiss with a laugh of your own as you turn to your daughter and sit down on the floor, holding her on your lap as Bucky takes his place beside you, resting his back on the couch.
“I was so nervous you would say no, mommy.” She lets out an exaggerated sigh.
Your head falls back as you and Bucky laugh, “How could I, honey when I love you two so much, of course I would say yes… as a matter of fact-” You breathe in some intake of courage, looking from Summer to Bucky, before taking their both hands and placing them on your belly, “Not only I, but we will marry you.”
They both catch your meaning instantly as their eyebrows shoot high on their foreheads, the resemblance between them, expressed on their eyes and many mannerisms turning especially evident then.
“What?” Bucky whispers, still pretty much astonished and without taking his hand from your belly.
“I’m going to be a big sister?” Summer brings both her hands to her mouth, keeping her eyes widened at you.
“Yes, my love. I hope it makes you happy.” You try to smile to hide how nervous you are by telling the news to them. You’ve talked about the possibility of a new kid before and Summer even asked for a little brother or sister, but it was all speculation and this definitely unexpected. Something wrong might’ve happened to your birth-control pills and-
“Happy?” She squeaks the word in a high-pitched sound, “I’m super mega ultra happy.” She gets up from her spot and starts jumping on the carpet with her little arms up, properly celebrating the news, like only a carefree child would.
You laugh and feel a little bit of relief calming down your chest at her reaction, but the fact Bucky’s still silent and just staring at you with a dropped jaw doesn’t allow your heart to be fully rested.
Summer stops jumping to look at you with a vibrant sparkle on her face, “Oh, I have so many toys I wanna share with them.” She says before turning around and rushing to the direction of her room.
You can’t help but laugh at her good-hearted energy, “Hey, sweetie, no, we can see that later-”
“I’m coming right back, mom.” She yells, already in her room.
You chuckle a bit more before you chew on your lower lip, looking back at Bucky, “Hey, big news, huh?” You tentatively say, “At least she took it ok-”
His lips are on yours before you can finish whatever you were going to say. With every caress, every brush of his tongue against yours, you feel each little muscle of your body relax and you sigh through the kiss when his hand fondles with your belly and his other one goes to the back of your neck, pulling you even closer.
“Is that true?” He whispers, letting his forehead rest against yours when he breaks the kiss.
“Yes,” You nod, wrapping your arms around him, “I got really sick several days on the mission and then I decided to buy a pharmacy test and voilà, here we are.”
You see his chest moving up and down as he takes in a breath, “I made such a shitshow back when you tried to tell me about Summer-”
“Bucky-” You try, not really wanting to remember those times right at that moment…
“I was such an asshole and I stole us the chance of living the news together,” he continues, stroking your belly and keeping his head linked to yours, “Now I have this second chance,” He lets out a breathy smile and your heart softens, “You make me so damn happy, I love you so much.”
“You make me happy, too,” You assure him, “You and our little family.” You pull him to one more kiss.
“Another kid?” He smiles, as the kiss is over, looking down at where his hand rests on your belly, “Will you want to find out the sex before birth?” He wonders.
“As a matter of fact,” you cringe, “I already know.”
“What?” He frowns “How?”
“Yeah, I mean… you know Wanda was there at the mission, too, right?” He nods and you continue, “And you know how much her powers have been enhancing? Well, she has a strong feeling and-”
“No.” He shakes his head, and his hand leaves your belly so he can put a finger on your lips, which you place a small kiss on, “I think I don’t wanna know this time.” He admits, shrugging.
You smirk, nodding to accept his position. But to be honest, you can’t wait to see his reaction when he finds out that soon he’ll have one more girl to call his.
“Hey,” You say, raising your finger with the diamond on, “What about this?” You raise an eyebrow.
“Oh,” It slips out of his lips as a blush creeps up his cheeks and he brushes the back of his neck, “I know I should’ve asked that sooner, but the life we have so far all always felt so good, I didn’t even think-”
“No, silly,” you chuckle, putting a small kiss on his lips for reassurance, “I know that, we already have been happy enough, it’s just- this ring, I had in a safe locked with a code, did you…” You tilt your head.
“Oh, no,” His head falls back as he puts his hand on his stomach to let out a laugh, before nodding towards Summer’s room.
Your jaw goes slack, “Really?” You frown.
“I found the missy playing with it the other day.” He says more proudly than he should.
“Are you telling me the 6-year-old kid not only found the safe, but also broke in the code to open it?” You scoff when he nods, still overly smug about it, but after the shock passes you can’t help but feel a little bit of pride, too. Right then you know that, if that’s what she’ll really want, she will be an exceptional Avenger someday.
“When I saw the ring after so long, I knew it was time. She agreed.” He brings a hand to cup your cheek, moving his finger to caress your face as his loving eyes meet yours, “We were planning a special dinner for tomorrow, but I think she just couldn’t help herself.” The crinkles beside his eyes are adorable as he lets out a soft laugh, “It’s always been yours, anyway.”
Unable to part your gaze from his, you sigh as your heart thunders against your chest. You’re about to kiss him again when the sweet voice you love so much holds you back.
“Mommy, mommy,” Summer pants and runs back into the living room, holding as many toys and stuffed animals as she barely can, even letting some fall on her way, “I think the baby will like these,” she points out, dropping the toys in front of you.
“Of course they will, baby. Especially if you play with them together,” You agree, fuzzing with her hair.
She raises her chin and gives a toothy grin before addressing to Bucky, “Daddy, I think we should celebrate with your cupcakes, what do you think?” It’s nothing but adorable when her little eyebrows wiggle with the suggestions at her dad.
“Hmmm, I think you’re absolutely right, my little Sun.”
“Yaaay,” She exclaims, raising her arms and bouncing on her little legs, “Which one do you want, mommy? I’ll go get it for us, we have all kinds: vanilla, chocolate, vanilla with chocolate chips, strawberry.” She counts the flavors with her fingers.
“Alright, I love daddy’s cupcakes, I’ll have one of the strawberry ones, please.” You wink at her.
“Ok, one strawberry coming your way right now.” She says before turning on her heels and bolting to the kitchen.
“Hey, what about me?” Bucky yells, but receives no answer.
You laugh loudly at the pout that forms on his lips before leaning in to place a kiss on his cheek, “It’s just because I’ve been away, honey. You know you’re still the love of her life.” Your heart melts when his lips curl into a smile, still looking ahead to the kitchen, “And you’re mine, too.” You whisper, running your fingers through his hair.
He tilts his face to you, fully smiling, before his eyes darkens and he leans in to run his lips up your neck, “Later.” His tongue teases the delicate skin of your neck, making you shrug your shoulders and giggle, “When we’re alone in our bedroom,” He drags his lips over your jaw and the giggle catches in our throat, “I can’t wait to show you how much you’re the love of my life, too. One time,” he kisses your jawline, “Two times?” the other side, “Maybe three…” his lips lock onto yours - breathless at the promise.
His tongue darts to curl around yours and the kiss deepens as you pull him to you.
“Ugh, are you two being gross again?”
You pull apart, laughing as Bucky whispers something like “so much like her uncle Steve”, under his breath.
“Says the girl with chocolate all over her face.” He scowls lightheartedly, when she’s closer to you and the remains of chocolate on her jaw is the evidence she had one sneaky cupcake in the kitchen, “Oh, I see someone remembered her poor old daddy exists,” he adds, spotting the third cupcake – chocolate chip, his favorite – on the little trail in her hands.
She giggles, placing the trail next to you and Bucky and squeaking in surprise as Bucky catches her in his arms and screams “Tickles attack,” making the little kid toss and squirm, before she manages to escape from him and latch herself into your lap for shelter, only for you to attack her with kisses this time, being followed shortly by Bucky.
Is not always that easy.
Is not always that perfect.
You two still struggle, you two still fight, sometimes over the stupidest things and other times over not so stupid ones. But it’s love…and, like you and Bucky have said before, love isn’t perfect.
You’re just not afraid of it anymore.
~~~
The End.
P.S: I've been thinking about writing some drabbles or one-shots for this story next year. If you liked it, stay tunned.