Then when I met you, my virtues uncounted
They walked back together, back to Natasha’s MI6 assigned apartment. Starting tomorrow she would be staying in one of the rooms at the barracks in SSR's headquarters. Wanting to spend as much time with her as possible before his departure for the next mission, Steve walked her back to her house, walking hand in hand and feeling just like any other couple in the world uncaring of the specter of war hanging over their heads.
“Come up with me?” Natasha asked him, eyes alight with eagerness.
“Of course.” Steve kissed her palms, letting her lead them inside and up to her rooms.
It was small and quaint. There were technical manuals and engineering textbooks on the shelves and on the floor. Draft papers strewn about on the desk and on the floor. Steve spied a pile of letters on the work desk. On closer inspection, his own handwritings were on the envelopes.
“I haven’t been home in three days and I’ve missed your letters. Tonight was the first night I’ve been home and Peggy came to nag me to go to a pub when all I wanted to do was hunker down on my bed and read all of your letters.” Natasha explained, “I couldn’t figure out why she was so persistent about it, but I guess she knew you would be there and set the whole thing up. Sneaky woman.” she smiled deprecatingly.
“I worry about you. All the time. I wondered if you were eating enough, if you’re safe here.” Steve confided in her, “when I saw Schmidt, I thought about how much of your life has been ruined and destroyed by what he’d done. How he might take you away from me if I fail to stop him.”
“I’m here, Steve. Still with you, beloved.” Natasha moved to hug Steve, “safe and sound in your arms tonight.”
Steve tightened his embrace, dropping his head onto her shoulder and inhaling the unique scent of Natasha: coffee, singed metal and oil. The best smell in his whole world. “Always. Always, Tasha. I love you so much.”
“I love you,” she whispered back. Steve stepped back from the embrace, then leaned down to kiss her. The first touch of her lips on his felt like a breath of fresh air, life-giving and affirming. Lighting up all his senses. Natasha moaned softly, opening up her lips to his seeking tongue, welcoming his ministrations and wholeheartedly reciprocating his desire with her own.
Steve placed his hands on her waist, halting their kiss and gaining her attention. “Steve, darling what?”
“I need you, Tasha.” he managed to gasp out. Just one kiss, and it was all it took for him to burn desperately, to feel her body on his, to know what it would be like for them to finally consummate this bond, this love between them.
“Say no more.” Tasha smiled softly, placing her arms around Steve’s neck and pulling him down for hard, passionate kiss. Steve melted into her touch, kissing back pouring every bit of love and desire he had for her into his kisses. He felt her legs started to slide up his thighs and anticipating the move, Steve wrapped her legs around him, holding her up with little effort, carrying and holding the precious cargo in his arms.
“Take me to bed, soldier.” she whispered, and Steve obliged, nuzzling her neck where her scent was strongest, and leaving little bites and sucking kisses to mark her. Let it be known to the world that she was Steve’s. And Steve was hers for all the world to see.
They reached the bed and no sooner had Steve laid her down, Natasha tugged at his shirt, pulling it out of his trousers and unbuttoning it. Her hands caressed his stomach, tracing the lines of his well defined abdomen, a sly smile on her face telling Steve that Natasha had been picturing this for awhile.
“When Peggy told me how you looked like after the serum, and how she almost lost control and touched your naked torso, I have to admit I went on a bit of temper tantrum. She almost touched you. I can’t allow that. You’re mine. My Steve.”
“I’m yours,” Steve kissed her reverently, “and you’re mine. My Tasha.”
Clothes were shed and thrown haphazardly on the floor without a care. Soon enough, nothing separated them from each other, only the virtue of their worldly bodies, pressed against each other as close as two people could before becoming one: One body, one soul, one presence.
From this point forward, nothing distinguished the man Steve Rogers and the woman Natasha Stark. Their union cemented what both already knew deep in their heart of hearts, two halves of a whole being separated by God, finally recognizing their counterparts and united to be whole again.
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Steve woke up the next morning feeling different. First, the sheets were much softer than what he was used to, and the pillows were actually soft enough for him to feel comfortable to lay his head on. The blankets were nice and soft, not scratchy like the Army issue blankets they have back in the barracks. And second, someone was sleeping in the bed next to him, nestled to his side. There was a weight on his chest, and Steve discovered as he opened his eyes, it was Natasha’s head on his chest, sleeping soundly with her arms around him and not a stitch of clothing between them.
Steve blushed as he remembered the events of the night. Last night, they finally made love, consummated their relationship. Steve ran his hands down her back, reveling in the feeling of her skin against his and savoring her warmth. Natasha felt so good, so amazing, patiently showing him what to do and how to touch her. Steve wondered if anything would ever feel this good ever again. His first night with Natasha showed him how much they belonged together.
They moved together perfectly, passionately and when Steve was inside her he could have sworn that he could feel her heart beating in time with his. They’ve bonded together, plain and simple. They would never know loneliness ever again, as long as they both live.
Natasha started to stir awake, her brown eyes fluttering open. She smiled as she looked up and saw Steve’s smiling face greeting her. “Good morning,” he whispered.
“Morning, love.” she replied, tilting her head up for a kiss Steve was more than willing to give. The shift of her body pressed her breasts against Steve’s side, stirring up memories of the night before and igniting his passion and desires once again. Steve felt himself started to harden underneath the covers and tried in vain to ignore it.
“How are you feeling?” she asked, her fingers stroking his cheeks gently.
“Amazing. God, Tasha, you were so...good. You were so beautiful last night, I couldn’t take my eyes off you.”
“Mm,” she hummed, the mischievous gleam in her eyes and the small smirk on her lips failed to hide how pleased she was with herself for bringing Steve to such heady pleasure, “I’m glad you enjoyed it, stud.”
“Understatement.” Steve leaned down for another kiss. This time he deepened the kiss, Natasha more than willing to reciprocate, opening her own mouth against Steve’s and winding her arms around Steve’s neck, her thighs parting for Steve to settle in between them.
They continued to kiss, enjoying the intimacy and closeness the moment brought them. Steve would cherish this feeling forever, all of his senses filled with everything about Natasha: the taste and smell of her skin, the feel of her lips, the touch of her fingertips caressing his face and carding her fingers through his hair, the warmth of her thighs as she gently cradled him between them the way she did last night.
“Steve, darling,” she whispered after breaking their kiss, “did you bring your gun to bed, or are you just happy to see me?”
Steve groaned and dropped his head on the valley between her breasts, “We were having a moment, Tasha. It’s gone now.”
She snickered amusedly, “Sorry, honey. I couldn’t resist.” Natasha pressed a kiss to his forehead. “Let me make it up to you.”
“Yeah, how?” Steve glanced up at her smiling face.
“You’ll see. I promise you’ll love it.”
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After he snuck back in to base, Steve hurriedly showered and changed his uniform to a clean one, throwing the one he’d been wearing the night before in the hamper to be washed later. Then he walked down to the basement where Howard’s workshop was, intending to keep the 0800 appointment time with the inventor.
When he got there however, Howard was nowhere to be seen. Natasha seemed to be absent as well, though she promised she would be around the workshop to tinker on whatever HYDRA paraphernalia Steve managed to snag during the rescue mission. There was only one assistant standing by outside, though she too seemed to be preoccupied with the newspaper she was reading.
“Ma’am? Excuse me, I’m looking for Howard Stark.” Steve said to gaining her attention.
“He’s in a meeting with Colonel Phillips,” Lorraine didn’t even bother looking up from her newspaper, just for some soldier. But when she saw who it was, she couldn’t pass up the chance to speak to him, “Of course you’re welcome to wait.”
Steve nodded to her in gratitude and perched on an empty desk to wait for Howard.
“I read about what you did.” she said again, holding up the newspaper she had been reading, flashing the headline reporting the POW rescue mission on the front page.
“Oh! The…yeah! Well, that’s you know? Just doin’ what needed to be done.” Steve shrugged, still feeling nervous and out of sorts whenever someone complimented him. It has been and will be something to get used to.
“Sounded like more than that. You saved nearly four hundred men.”
“Really, it’s not a big deal.” Steve insisted.
“Tell that to their wives.”
She started to get up from her seat and walked her way to Steve. There was a gleam in her eyes that Steve was familiar with. He saw it in Natasha’s eyes last night before she rode him to kingdom come, and earlier this morning too.
Oh, no. Mayday, mayday.
“Uh…I don’t think they were all married.” Steve’s eyes flickered from side to side, trying to find a way out.
“You’re a hero.” Closer.
“Well, that…you know? That…that depends on the definition of it really.” and now she has his tie wrapped around her fingers. Dear God, help.
“The women of America, they owe you their thanks. And seeing as they’re not here.” and without fanfare, she planted a surprised and unwanted kiss on him. Steve held his arms aloft, struggling not to react to her sticky, rouged up lips on his. It felt weird and very wrong for some reason. He kissed Natasha plenty of times, but it had never felt as fundamentally wrong as it felt right now. He wanted to push her away, but feared he would hurt her with his super strength. So Steve did the only safe thing: nothing. Hopefully she’d take the hint from how unresponsive he was to her kiss.
“Captain!” Peggy’s voice barking at him was his saving grace. Lorraine finally released him and Steve surreptitiously wiped his lips to get rid of the taste of her on his mouth, “We’re ready for you. If you’re not otherwise occupied.” Peggy sounded annoyed and immediately turned to walk away. Steve couldn’t really blame, for all intents and purposes she did just caught him stepping out on her best friend. He had to explain the situation to her, or at least tell her not to talk to Natasha before Steve has a chance to explain himself.
“Agent Carter, wait.” Steve hastily ran after her, “Peggy, that’s not what you thought it was.”
“Then what was it, Steve? Because it sure looks like you’re kissing another woman while claiming to be going steady with Natasha. Nat said you always wanted to be soldier and now I guess you are. Just like all the rest.”
“Look, if you’re not gonna believe anything I say then at least give me a chance to explain everything to Natasha.” Steve reasoned with her, “it’s the least you could do.”
Peggy took one look at him and looked away dismissively, storming off in a huff. Steve just hoped she at least honored his pleas and not tell Natasha anything about what had happened.
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“Emission signature is unusual. Alpha and beta ray neutral.” Howard already dissected the HYDRA cartridges when Natasha arrived to lab this morning. She was late, for two reasons: one, because she had to pack her stuff and move everything out of the MI6 apartment and to the barracks and two, because of Steve.
Steve. Oh, what a night they spent together. After last night, the difference between having sex and making love became poignantly clear in Natasha’s mind. There was no way she could go back to having casual encounters behind closed doors, not that she would mind you. She has Steve, now. Her Steve who made love to her, at first timidly and hesitantly, unsure of what to do. But then once he was assured of her pleasure at his hands, he became confident and the rest was history. He ruined Natasha for anyone else, and she wouldn’t have it any other way.
Steve made love like he fought, with an all consuming purpose and focus unparalleled by none. His goal was to give Natasha pleasure and he wouldn’t stop until she came, and came hard. There were several moments where Steve literally took her breath away by the intensity of his touches. The man could eat pussy and enjoy doing it like no other she had ever seen, that’s for sure.
Just thinking about what happened last night caused her to heat up underneath her clothes. Her whole body was sore, in a good way. She could still feel how open she was from where Steve was inside her all night long. She steeled herself, trying to look as normal as possible and not resembling a woman who was still recovering from the best night of her life, and moved to stand behind Howard where he was making observations on the orb. She snagged a piece of paper detailing the preliminary emission parameters that the research associates had write up for them.
“Is that the energy source of the HYDRA weapons?” Natasha asked him. Howard was right, the readings on the emission signature was different than she had ever seen before. It seemed unusually stable with an enormously long predicted half-life period. How peculiar. “I’ve never seen an emission signature like this before. Be careful, Howard.”
“Seems harmless enough. Hard to see what all the fuss is about.” Howard waved her off.
Natasha sighed and moved away from the man. He was about to do something stupid, she knew it. Howard moved the pincers to tap one of the particles floating and grabbed it. Then he tried to isolate one of the glowing pellets for further study only to initiate a blast that caused him and his research assistant flying across the room.
“Told you.”
“Write that down.” Howard croaked out from the floor.
Natasha walked over to help him up, reprimanding him all the way. “If you had only paid attention during particle physics lectures, you’d know that long half lives indicate highly volatile objects with high Van der Waals interaction energy. They don’t like to be disturbed.” she placed her hand on Howard’s back, surreptitiously healing the bruises that were starting to form from slamming into the wall.
“Ugh, who died and made you Ernest Rutherford?”
“Ernest Rutherford. Duh.”
Howard scowled at her. “That thing looked like a self-sustaining ball of energy. I have no idea how it manages to lack alpha and beta rays, and emitting a different type of ray instead.”
“Hmm,” Natasha studied the data again, intrigued by the prospect of discovering a new type of radiation, “They’re not as strong as gamma rays, either. It’s an intermediate between ionizing and non-ionizing radiation. Hey, what if we call it gamma ray?”
“Gamma?”
“The next letter in the greek alphabet after alpha and beta.” Natasha shrugged, “it makes sense.”
“Fine, let’s call it a gamma ray.”
“Alright, Nobel Prize, here we come!”
Howard smiled, “Assuming we can publish any of the work we did here.”
Steve strolled in with Peggy, who left immediately after escorting him to the two engineers, shooting odd looks at Natasha the whole time. “Hey, guys. Heard you have somethin’ for me to try on before the missions.”
“Hi, Steve. Nice to see you again.” Natasha greeted him fondly. As if on cue, Steve blushed charmingly as he greeted her back, stuttering out how nice it was to see her too. Howard rolled his eyes at them, jumping straight to business.
“Heya, Cap. Sure we do, take a look at this.” he moved to a piece of cloth lying on one of the tables in the lab, “Carbon polymer. Should be able to withstand your average German bayonet. Although Hydra’s not going to attack you with a pocket knife.”
They moved along to the collection of shield prototypes Howard and his engineers had made up for Steve, “I hear you’re uh… kinda attached?” Howard knock on the battered USO shield Steve used on the rescue mission.
“It’s handier than you might think.” Steve conceded. He was a little sad that his trusty shield was banged up from the previous fight with the Red Skull.
“I took the liberty of coming up with some options.” Howard said proudly. He showed Steve some of the prototypes he made, “This one’s fun. She’s been fitted with electrical relays. It’ll allow you to…”
But Steve spotted a round shield tucked in the bottom of the worktable and raised it up. It was far more interesting and suitable for him than any of the other ones Howard was showing to him. Somehow, Steve felt an immediate connection to this piece of metal. “What about this one?”
“No! No! That’s just a prototype.”
“Well, aren’t these all prototypes?” Steve gestured around, “it’s light. What’s it made of?”
“It’s called Vibranium, love.” Natasha explained, “It’s stronger than steel and a third of the weight. It’s completely vibration absorbent.”
“Amazing.” Steve moved the shield around, testing how maneuverable it would be in battle, “how come it’s not standard issue?”
“The Army would have gone bankrupt if this was standard issue. No amount of bonds you can sell would cover the cost of buying Vibranium.” Natasha laughed, “That’s the rarest metal on earth. What you’re holding there? That’s all we’ve got.”
“It’s great.” Steve said, holding up the shield in front of him like a knight in the stories Natasha read as a child. Natasha imagined Siegfried, the noble and brave knight of the Nibelungenlied, would have looked as majestic and regal as Steve was at this moment.
My Siegfried. The Valiant Dragon Slayer.
“What do you think, Tasha?” Steve asked, posing with the shield covering his torso and placing his free hand on his hips.
“You look very handsome and noble, meinliebling.” Steve blushed at her compliment, looking pleased and bashful at the same time. She heard Howard gagging in the background but decided on ignoring him in favor of lavishing attention and praises at Steve.
Peggy came back in the lab to fetch Steve for his next appointment with Colonel Phillips for mission briefings and found the man holding circular shield, laughing and joking with Natasha as if he never betrayed her, never kissed another woman behind her back. Ire rising up, Peggy interrupted their bantering, “You quite finished, Starks? I’m sure the Captain has some unfinished business.”
“Hey, Peggy,” Steve called on her. “What do you think?”
The nerve of the man.
Peggy grabbed a gun from the table, cocked it then aimed shots at the shield in Steve’s direction. Steve immediately held Natasha to him, hiding them behind the shield and Howard cowered in the background, trying to block the deafening sound of the gun shots by placing his hands over his ears.
Steve and Natasha peeked out of the shield after she finished emptying the cartridge on the shield, staring at her in bewilderment. “Yeah, I think it’ll work.” she said simply, before leaving the three of them stunned and speechless.
As she left she heard Natasha’s asked, “Steve, what did you do?” and a small vindictive smile spread across Peggy’s crimson lips.
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“What?! Some random broad kissed you?! Kissed you! She just went up to you and planted one on you! What the fuck!” As expected, Natasha was incensed when Steve finally told her what had happened this morning. She had been ranting and raving for the last twenty minutes, pacing back and forth in their small room in the barracks. Technically, it was her room, but Steve wasn’t planning on staying even one night apart from her so he would be sneaking in to her room each night and sneak back out before morning roll call.
“I’m sorry, sweetheart. I should have handled it better.” Steve said despondently.
“What?” she whipped around to stare at him, “I’m not mad at you, darling. I’m mad at the woman who thought it was okay to put her hands anywhere on a person without their express consent. Honestly, where was she raised, in a cave?” Natasha grubled and sat next to him on their bed, ranting and raving seemed to be done for the moment.
“She’s American, so yes, a cave. Just like I was.” Steve joked, trying to lighten the mood. Natasha snorted and bumped her shoulder with his, “Don’t try to make me laugh, I’m still upset.”
“I know.” Steve wrapped his arms around her, pulling her closer, “I promise I won’t say anything if you want to prank her.”
“That’s the best thing you’ve said all day,” Natasha tilted her head up and kissed him, “gotta erase whatever she put on you.” then kissed him again, and again, and again until they fell back on the bed.
“I only enjoy your kisses,” Steve whispered.
“Good,” she leaned down again. They spent long moments just kissing each other and enjoying the presence and the feeling of each other’s bodies against their own.
“Was that why Peggy was so pissed at you?” Natasha asked again once they broke apart, fingers idly caressing Steve’s blond hair.
Steve nodded, “She saw the Private kissed me, and wouldn’t even give me a chance to explain what happened. At least she let me explain everything to you.”
“Ole Pegs, always looking out for me.” Natasha said wistfully, “thank you for telling me, Steve. I don’t blame you for what happened. Don’t worry.”
Steve kissed her again, relieved that he hadn’t managed to ruin his first (and only) relationship. “Hey, do you know if Howard and Peggy are...you know…” Steve made a vague hand gesture meant to approximate sexual tryst.
Natasha stared at him blankly, not comprehending what he was trying to say, “If they’re what?”
“You know...fondue…” Steve whispered surreptitiously.
“Fondue?” Natasha looked bewildered. Why would Howard and Peggy be eating bread and melted cheese?
“Yeah, fondue. Like what we did this morning.”
“We did fondue? But, Steve, we had pancakes for breakfast.” Natasha was a genius, but this conversation was more confusing. And she understood quantum mechanics.
“What? No, not breakfast. Before breakfast. What are you talking about?”
“What are you talking about?!”
“Fondue! You know, the euphemism for having sex.” Steve insisted.
“What?!”
“Isn’t that what fondue is?”
“Honey, fondue is bread and melted cheese. It’s food.”
“Oh…” it dawned on Steve that he’s been misinterpreting what Howard said as an invitation to eat as an invitation to fornicate, “well, now I feel like a schmuck.”
Natasha laughed uproariously, “Oh my God, you actually thought fondue was a euphemism for sex. You’re so precious.”
Steve pouted, “I’m learning, okay. I’m just a destitute skinny kid from Brooklyn. I don’t know all the fancy schmancy food you rich people eat on a daily basis.”
“Well, now you can have fondue on a daily basis,” Natasha kissed his cheek, grinning mischievously, “if you’re not out on a mission, that is. Don’t be having fondue with anyone else, okay?”
“Wouldn’t taste or feel as good.” Steve kissed her and slowly lowered Natasha to the bed. Steve was hungry, and some fondue sounded good right about now. Natasha’s content smile and pleased sighs as he made love to her would be etched in his memory for a long time.