as a shrike to your sharp and glorious thorn

“Senator Brandt, I regret to report that Captain Steven G. Rogers went missing behind enemy lines on the third.” Back in the Army base camp, Colonel Phillips read out a standard passage of death notification, “Aerial reconnaissance has proven unfruitful. As a result, I must declare Captain Rogers killed in action. Period.”

Peggy came in to the tent, a sheaf of paper in her hand, her face solemn, “The last surveillance flight is back. No sign of activity.”

Phillips instructed his aide to leave the tent, leaving him alone with Peggy. “I can’t touch Stark. He’s rich and he’s the Army’s number one weapons contractor. You are neither one.”

“With respect, sir, I don’t regret my actions. And I don’t think Captain Rogers did either.” Peggy responded. She didn’t regret her actions, she only regretted that she would be the one to inform her good friend of the demise of her beloved.

“What makes you think I give a damn about your opinions. I took a chance with you, Agent Carter. And now America’s golden boy and a lot of other good men are dead, cause you had a crush.” Phillips retorted, condescendingly.

“I had faith, Sir.”

“Well, I hope that’s a big comfort to you when they shut this division down.” Suddenly a ruckus started outside of the tent, gaining Phillips’ attention, “What the hell’s going on out there?”

Outside, a group of soldiers, some of them wounded, all of them dirty and worn out walked towards the camp. Leading them was none other than Captain Steven Grant Rogers, triumphant and resolute in his convictions and his successful rescue mission of the people that the Army had given up on.

He stopped his stride in front of Phillips and saluted him. “Some of these men need medical attention. I’d like to surrender myself for disciplinary action.”

“That won’t be necessary.” Phillips answered. Well, he’ll be damned. Rogers just kept proving him wrong.

“Yes, sir.”

Phillips turned to Peggy, “Faith, huh?” he figured she deserved that self-satisfied smirk on her face and walked away back to his tent. He had a death notification letter to burn.

--------

Allied Headquarters, London, 1943

Steve, Peggy, Phillips, Howard and a few other SSR higher ups were conferring together in one of the meeting rooms.

“The fifth one was here in Poland, right near the Baltic.” Steve marked the map, indicating the location of a HYDRA factory he gleaned from his observations, “And the sixth one was… about here, 30, 40 miles west of the Maginot Line. I just got a quick look.”

“Well, nobody’s perfect.” Peggy quipped.

Steve chose to ignore that dig at him and briefed them on what Bucky told him, “These are the weapon factories we know about. Sergeant Barnes said that Hydra shipped all the parts to another facility that isn’t on this map.”

“Agent Carter, coordinate with MI6. I want every Allied eyeball looking for that main Hydra base.” Phillips instructed.

“What about us?”

“We are gonna set a fire under Johann Schmidt’s ass. What do you say, Rogers? It’s your map, you think you can wipe Hydra off of it?”

Steve looked at the map, at the locations of where HYDRA’s facilities were located. If he succeeded in this mission, the tides of war would turn in the Allies’ favor. And he would finally be reunited with Natasha again.

“Yes, sir. I’ll need a team.”

“We’re already putting together the best men.”

“With all due respect, sir. So am I.”

Natasha collapsed on her bed for the first time in forty eight hours. The grueling work she put in to put all the finishing touches on her personal projects as well as the Enigma project meant that she hadn’t been home to her assigned apartment in the last three days. She stunk to high heaven, her hair was a complete mess and it felt like a small animal had died in her mouth.

She groaned in satisfaction as she settled in bed, the mattress felt comfortable on her sore back. There was a pile of letters on her desk, she would bet anything that they were from Steve. Natasha had heard of his daring rescue of the HYDRA POWs. She was glad that Steve finally got a chance to prove himself, to prove that he was more than worth the mantle of super soldier. The last letter she read from him, telling her that he had to go, had to rescue Bucky, and that he would come back to her.

He certainly did that and more. Captain America became a national icon in the span of two weeks. He was supposed to be awarded the Medal of Valor back in DC.

She didn’t know where he was now. She was in blackout mode for the last week, missing out on any pertinent communiques regarding the progress of the war. This morning she received word that she was being reassigned, the SSR wanted her back. Her tenure at Bletchley Park was over. Thank God for that. If she had to spend one more day in Turing’s presence, she would choke the man to death with her thighs. And he, more than any other man, would hate having a woman’s anything wrapped around him.

She missed Steve. God, where was he? Was he still in Europe, or back stateside? She knew she could get an answer from the pile of letters on her bed, but before she could pick one of them up, a knock on the door grabbed her attention. Turned out, Peggy was on the other side of the door, inviting and cajoling her to go out tonight to the pub in town. All Natasha wanted to do tonight was sit on her bed, read through all the letter Steve sent her. And after she read through it all, she’d go back and re-read them again, until she fell asleep. But Peggy was persistent, she wouldn’t take no for an answer and finally Natasha relented and agreed to join her.

“Alright, let me just brush my teeth and we’ll go.”

“Oh no, we won’t. Not like this.”

“What? What’s wrong with what we’re wearing?”

“Tasha, love, your attire is more grease stain than fabric at this point. I would advise you change them.”

Natasha looked down at her attire, seeing it covered in grease and oil and other stains she didn’t recall getting on there in the first place. Perhaps Peggy had a point, “Right. Shower then pub. And then you’ll leave me alone for the rest of the night to re-read my Steve letters.”

“Of course.” the sly smile Peggy had on her face was worrying, to say the least.

The boys wholeheartedly agree to go back to the jaws of HYDRA. All they asked was for Steve to open a tab at the bar. It was the least he could do if he was about to ask them to put their lives on the line like that.

“See? I told you. They’re all idiots.” Bucky was leaning against the bar counter, a bottle of beer in his hand. The atmosphere at the bar was loud and raucous. Someone was singing at the piano nearby. It was to forget that there was a war raging just outside of these walls.

“How about you? You ready to follow Captain America into the jaws of death?” Steve asked Bucky, needing to know that his brother would be there to join him in this mission.

“Hell, no. That little guy from Brooklyn who was too dumb not to run away from a fight. I’m following him. But you’re keeping the outfit, right?” Bucky grinned.

“You know what? It’s kind of growing on me.” Steve smiled, lifting his own drink up to Bucky’s to toast with. He was enjoying this brief respite of normalcy in the midst of the chaos of war, but his enjoyment was somewhat dampened by the pang of longing for Natasha by his side. He was finally in London, but he didn’t know where she was. Nobody would tell him of Natasha’s whereabouts. Apparently, she was a person of high interest and details of her whereabouts were kept as vague as possible for her security.

Steve still send her letters, and since they weren’t returned undelivered, he had hope that she received them. There was an ache deep inside his heart the longer his letters remained unanswered. She was somewhere in this city, so close and yet so far away from his reach.

The lively music in the bar suddenly stopped playing. Steve looked around to find the source of the disruption only to see Peggy Carter walking in to the bar, dressed in a tight red dress. She was done up for the night, lipstick as red as blood, hair not a strand out of place. She was a beautiful woman indeed, but Steve only had eyes for one woman and she wasn’t here.

“Captain.”

“Agent Carter.” Steve nodded politely at her.

“Howard has some equipment for you to try. Tomorrow morning?”

“Sounds good.”

Peggy looked around to where Dugan, Dernier, Falsworth, Morita and Jones were drinking away in merriment. “I see you top squad is prepping for duty.”

Steve chuckled at her comment. As far as he was concerned, they deserved the night.

“You don’t like music?” Bucky asked Peggy, his voice and his tone affecting the sounds of a man trying desperately hard to be suave.

Peggy paid him no mind, “I do, actually. I might even, when this is all over, go dancing.”

“Then what are we waiting for?” Bucky said again. Steve had to bite on his lip to keep from laughing aloud at how much Bucky was making a fool of himself in the face of Peggy’s disinterest.

Whatever Peggy said next was lost on him. The door to the pub opened again and this time, a figure walked in, hunched up in her coat to ward off the cold. She walked past Steve, Bucky and Peggy to sit on the far corner of the bar counter, flagging down the bartender for a drink.

Steve hasn’t seen her in a year. But he would know her anywhere.

He walked away from where Bucky was still trying in vain to flirt with Peggy to her. Natasha was still as beautiful as he remembered her, despite the dark circles under her eyes indicating her exhaustion. Her cheeks were more pronounced than the last time he saw her, she has lost weight. Probably forgot to eat on her many work binges.

“Can I buy you a drink?” Steve asked her, referencing one of their letters where Natasha said the next time meet would be in a bar.

“Not interested.” she answered, not looking up from her journal where she was scribbling something down.

“Come on, it’s just a drink. Not a marriage proposal.” Steve said again, a small smile gracing his lips. He was equal parts amused and impressed by Natasha’s steadfastness in fending off unwanted me.

“Not interested.”

“Are you sure? Just one drink on me.”

“Look, buddy.” Natasha slammed her journal shut, finally lifting her head up to address Steve, “I said I wasn’t interested. Why don’t you go and fuck a duck...” she trailed off as she realized Steve was the one who’s been talking to her. Natasha was wide eyed in astonishment, her mouth gaping open.

“Still not interested?” Steve teased her again. Natasha remained rooted to her seat, staring at Steve, eyes unblinking.

“Steve?” she asked timidly.

“Hello, sweetheart,” Steve’s hands were itching to touch her, to hold her again in his arms. Natasha seemed to feel the same way, though, for she jumped up from her seat and suddenly Steve had an armful of Natasha, clinging to him desperately. A feeling Steve was too familiar with when it comes to her.

“Steve, Steve, Steve, Steve!” she whispered fervently in his ears, “Is it true? Is it really you? My Steve…”

Steve tightened his hold around her, committing the feel of her body against his. Her scent and her warmth surrounded him, chasing away all his weariness. “It’s true. I’m here, sweetheart. I’m with you now, Tasha.”

Natasha held on to him for moments longer. The background noise and the sounds surrounding them seem to quiet down, everyone’s attention glued to them but Steve only had eyes and ears for Natasha, for his love.

“Look at you,” Natasha said reverently, fingers softly tracing the bridge of his nose, then moving to his jawline and his cheekbones. “You’re taller now,” she chuckled.

“That seems to be the consensus, yes.” Steve grinned at her. The way they were now, Natasha was the one who has to look up at him, his blue eyes shining bright down to Natasha’s brown ones. Her hands started to move downwards, patting his arms, feeling for his muscles underneath his uniform.

“Well, peak of physical perfection indeed,” she teased, rubbing her hands along Steve’s biceps. Steve felt a blush creeping up his cheeks and cleared his throat, “I’m still me.”

“I know, darling. I’ve seen the pictures of you after the serum. I’m just amazed at how different you are now from the last time I saw you.”

“I’ve missed you. I dreamed about this moment so many times.”

“I did too.” Natasha leaned her head on his shoulder, “I feel like I’m dreaming. This feels like one of those dreams I have, the ones where when I wake up I would find myself waking up from sleeping on my work desk.”

“This is real, Tasha. As real as it can be.”

Bucky approached the embracing couple, clearing his throat to gain their attention, “Hey there, hi. I’m Bucky, this big lug’s best friend. And you must be…”

“Natasha Stark. Currently stepping out with this big lug.” Natasha teased Steve, delighting at his blushing face.

“Well, I wish I could say I’ve heard a lot about you, but a certain someone failed to mention he was seeing someone. Especially not someone as pretty as you.” Bucky said, smirking all the way in an effort to charm Natasha.

Natasha smirked back, “Well, Steve told me a lot of stories about you, unfortunately. And not all of them flattering.”

“I assure you those are all exaggerated lies, and I’d be more than happy to set everything straight over a drink with you.”

“Bucky,” Steve cut in, knowing what Bucky was trying to do.

“What, Stevie? You finally got yourself a dame and never even told me about it. As your best friend, I am shocked and saddened at this turn of events. I would never hold things back from you.”

“Yes, you would. Or did you forget about that time you ‘forgot’ to tell me we’ve been evicted from our place and was squatting?”

“Psh, it was a tenement, Steve. Everyone there was squatting.” Bucky waved off his words, “Had to use the money to buy the cigarettes for this guy’s asthma medicine.” he pointed his thumb at Steve’s direction, Natasha looking decidedly amused.

“I have a lot of opinions about using cigarettes for asthma medicine, but I’ll keep it to myself for tonight. Right now, how’s about you buy me that drink, soldier?” She addressed Steve, turning around in his arms to wrap one of her arms around his waist, “And you introduce me with your friends over there and we can catch up.”

“It’d be my pleasure.”

Natasha and Bucky got along like a house on fire, much to Steve’s amusement and dismay. Now, he would have two people in his life giving him a hard time and generally being unimpressed with his newfound status as a “National Icon”. It was a good thing in Steve’s book, a way to make sure he stayed grounded and not get big headed about the way things were right now for him.

Steve was delighted to hear from Natasha that her time with MI6 was coming to a close, and that she had been reassigned to work for SSR once again.

“Soon, you’ll be seeing me almost everyday around the barracks, you’ll get sick of it.”

“I’m sure that would never happen.” Steve told her, squeezing her hand below the table where they were currently gathered around for drinks with Bucky and the rest of his team.

“We’ll find out soon enough.” she grinned at him. Steve was elated at today’s turn of events. Just this morning he was plotting for ways to surreptitiously glean classified  information on Natasha’s location and now, here she was, sitting next to him, one of her hands entwined with his and drinking an absurd amount of beer, rivaling Dugan.

Steve told her about his rescue mission, how he disobeyed Colonel Phillips’ orders, got Peggy and Howard in trouble and generally not being the perfect soldier everybody expected him to be. Natasha took it all in stride, telling him that he wasn’t supposed to be perfect in the first place, he was human and while all his physical flaws have been fixed, who Steve was as a person, his values and his principles were still his.

“It’s what set you apart from Schmidt. You would never abuse your powers because you know the consequences of an unchecked and uncontrolled hubris. And you’re a good man, Steve. The best man I know.”

“Schmidt…” Steve shuddered at the mention of his name, “did I tell you that the skin and muscles on his face melted away? He wore this mask, and when he peeled I saw what was hidden underneath: A red colored skull.”

“No!” Natasha gasped, “Truly? How horrifying. Well, at least now his outside matches his inside. Just like the Devil.”

“Also, I snagged some cartridges they used to fuel their weapons for you and Howard to tinker with. It had a strange blue glow. Could that be because of the Tesseract?”

“Possibly. I would have to take a closer look tomorrow morning, though. Will you be there?”

“Yes. Howard has a couple of new suits for me to try.”

“Good. I’ll be there too.” Natasha smiled softly, and surveyed the group of rowdy men sitting across from them, drinking and joking with each other, “so, these are the best men you could find to stop HYDRA, then?” her tone was teasing, Steve knew she trusted his judgement on people.

“Best of the best.” Steve raised his glass. At that moment Dugan, who was locked in a hand wrestling match with Falsworth, finally won, putting the man’s hand down on the table with flourish and standing up holding his arms aloft howling out his victory.

“Just that howl by itself is going to scare some HYDRA soldiers to surrendering.” Natasha commented at the display eliciting Steve’s laughter.

“Captain America and the Howling platoons.”

“Hmm, nah. ‘Platoon’ doesn’t really evoke a sense of urgency, or or intimidate you to surrender. Captain America and the Howling--” Natasha searched for a more appropriate noun. Her eyes lit up and she snapped her fingers, “Commandos! Captain America and the Howling Commandos!”

Steve looked back at the group of men who, by their own admissions, willingly followed him back to the gaping maw of HYDRA’s villainous machinations and put a stop to it once and for all. Steve used to be alone in this world, with only Bucky as his brother and companion. Now, in the midst of a war decimating Europe and the rest of the world, he found himself in the company of more people than ever had known in his life. Natasha, Bucky, Peggy, Howard and the Howling Commandos were a part of his life now.

In the midst of a war, Steve found the family he always longed for. He would never be alone.