Spider-Burrito has changed the chat name to ChristmasIsHere!
Spider-Burrito has changed their name to Stocking-Spider
CoolScienceBro: Did you seriously just change your name to a Christmas version of Stalking Spider? Should I be concerned?
Stocking-Spider: yes, fear me-
CoolScienceBro: That's like asking me to fear a cupcake
Stocking-Spider has changed SheBeSneaky's name to SneakyElf
IronPopTartMan: kid what are you doing?
Stocking-Spider: has changed CaptainMotherHen's name to CaptainClaus
Stocking-Spider has changed Mr.Jesus's name to CookieCutter
CookieCutter: Why CookieCutter?
Stocking-Spider: because you make amazing cookies, and you can cut a bitch. it was either that or WinterCookie. or SnowBuds
IronPopTartMan: how about we don't do this? please?
Stocking-Spider has changed IronPopTartMan's name to IronSanta
IronSanta: kid, wtf
Stocking-Spider: don't make me change it to IronSatan
IronSanta: you've got to be kidding me, right?
Stocking-Spider: of course not
Stocking-Spider has changed MischievousSnek's name to MischievousMagic
FalconsAreCool: how is that even related to Christmas?
Stocking-Spider: you know how people say that there's christmas magic going around this day? well, it's teh same thing but MischievousMagic
MischievousMagic: does this give me an excuse to use my magic all day?
IronSanta: no-
PopTartLover: of course not brother-
MischievousMagic: ugh, i hate you
PopTartLover: love you to brother
Stocking-Spider has changed PopTartLover's name to ChristmasLights
CookieCutter: but how does that relate to him at all?
Stocking-Spider: because of his lighting, get it, christmas lights, lightning? give me a break come on- it took me hours to think of these names-
IronSanta: that's way to much dedication to our usernames kid-
Stocking-Spider has changed IronSanta's name to IronGrinch
CAWCAWMOTHERFUCKERS: omg that fits so much more with tony-
CAWCAWMOTHERFUCKERS: beautiful
IronGrinch: what are you doing awake? also, aren't you supposed to pretend to sleep until your kids come bouncing on your bed begging you to wake up?
CAWCAWMOTHERFUCKERS: yep, but i couldn't help but comment on the extremely realistic username-
Stocking-Spider: i can't wait to meet your kids!
Stocking-Spider: are you sure my identity is a secret with them though?
CAWCAWMOTHERFUCKERS: i'm certain kid, don't worry-
Stocking-Spider: if you say so...
Stocking-Spider has changed CAWCAWMOTHERFUCKERS to InMemoryOfMrWillus
InMemoryOfMrWillus: i love this username
InMemoryOfMrWillus: beautiful reference, i'll make sure to honor him-
IronGrinch: i can't believe you kid-
Stocking-Spider: you love me
IronGrinch: sadly-
InMemoryOfMrWillus: DO I SMELL THE ACCEPTANCE OF FATHERHOOD?
IronGrinch: no- will you let that go!?
InMemoryOfMrWillus: i'll let it go WHEN YOU ACCEPT IT-
IronGrinch: fucking dammit-
Stocking-Spider: LET IT GOOOOOOOOOO
InMemoryOfMrWillus: OMG YES-
MischievousMagic: NOOOOOOOOO-
MischievousMagic: IF YOU DARE SING THAT HORRID SONG ONCE I WILL STAB YOU
ChristmasLights: He will stab you
ChristmsLights: Trust me-
InMemoryOfMrWillus: i don't doubt it-
Stocking-Spider has changed FalconsAreCool's name to RudolphFlies
RudolphFlies: what, why?
Stocking-Spider: because you can fly, and people underestimate you but your actually really cool and good at what you do
RudolphFlies: ... you considerate fuck
CaptainClaus: Language
IronGrinch: i'm willing to bet 20 dollars that Sam is crying right now-
RudolphFlies: no-
IronGrinch: if i check Friday's cam's will i see you crying-
RudolphFlies: fuck you-
SneakyElf: Cap, he said a bad word again-
CaptainClaus: I would feel insulted if I hadn't brought this on myself just moments ago
CaptainClaus: And
CaptainClaus: I literally just warned you Sam-
RudolphFlies: blame Tony, not me!
Stocking-Spider has changed CoolScienceBro's name to ScienceSnowflake
ScienceSnowflake: That... isn't the worst username ever
IronGrinch: stare at mine and tell yourself that again, with more certainty
ScienceSnowflake: It's a good username
IronGrinch: there we go-
InMemoryOfMrWillus: KIDS ARE COMING DOWN TO THE CHRISTMAS TREE QUICK QUICK EVERYONE GET DOWN-
CookieCutter: you sound like there's something horrible happening-
InMemoryOfMrWillus: if only you knew-
InMemoryOfMrWillus: NOW COME DOWN COME DOWN-
IronGrinch: okay okay! come on people, time to open presents
Stocking-Spider: i'll go get aunt may! we'll be right down in a minute!
IronGrinch: okay kid
RudolphFlies: i can feel him vibrating energy from floors away-
CaptainClaus: I'm pretty sure we all can-
MischievousMagic: BROTHER COME BACK HERE YOU CAN'T JUST JUMP ON MY BED AND RUN AWAY-
ChristmasLights: TIME FOR THE GIFT GIVING BROTHER
ChristmasLights: YOU HAVE 5 MINUTES OR ELSE I'M COMING TO GET YOU MYSELF
MischievousMagic: UUUGGHHH
MischievousMagic: THIS FAMILY IS A FUCKING NIGHTMARE
Stocking-Spider: *climbs on fridge*
CookieCutter: wtf
Stocking-Spider: WAIT I FORGOT TESS AAAAAA WHERE IS SHE!?!?
IronGrinch: i've got here kid, she's downstairs with all of us-
Stocking-Spider: omg thank you i thought she ran away-
IronGrinch: first of all, how could she use an elevator?
IronGrinch: second of all, she loves you way to much to run away-
Stocking-Spider: you never know mr.stark
Stocking-Spider: also, i can guarante you that she knows how to use an elevator-
IronGrinch: i-
IronGrinch: okay?
InMemoryOfMrWillus: TIME TO OPEN PRESENTS BITCHES
Stocking-Spider: WOOOOOOO
SneakyElf: you're all children
InMemoryOfMrWillus: thank you- i appreciate the compliment
SneakyElf: unbelievable
InMemoryOfMrWillus: the fact that Peter got my kids gifts last minute gives me life
IronGrinch: he got gifts for literally everyone- i think next year we should just do secret santa to save all of us the money-
SneakyElf: you're a billionaire
IronGrinch: your point? you have no idea how stressful it is to get good presents for every single person- so it'll save me the anxiety and a heart attack
Stocking-Spider: Mr.Stark nooooo
IronGrinch: it's fine kid-
Stocking-Spider: siusubosqiobdvdvdo
Stocking-Spider: i wasn't talking about the heart attack thing, i was talking about the secret santa thing
IronGrinch: and all of a sudden every compliment i've ever given you just disappears into thin air
Stocking-Spider: it doesn't work that way mr.stark
IronGrinch: i'm tony stark i can do what i want-
Stocking-Spider: changing subject-
Stocking-Spider: i like giving gifts! getting something for only 1 person would kill me inside pllleeassseee- i like seeing everyone i care about seem so happy when they receive a gift they like!
IronGrinch: why do you always pull my leg like this
IronGrinch: fine, no secret santa-
Stocking-Spider: yes! thank you mr.stark!
RudolphFlies: jesus this kid though-
InMemoryOfMrWillus: I FUCKING KNEW IT
InMemoryOfMrWillus: I FUCKING CALLED IT YOU MOTHER FUCKERS FUCK YES HA HA-
InMemoryOfMrWillus: GUYS PETER BOUGHT TONY A FUCKING COFFEE MUG SAYING "You're The Man Dad. The Old Man, But Still The Man"
InMemoryOfMrWillus: I THINK TONY'S CRYING
InMemoryOfMrWillus: THEIR HUGGING
InMemoryOfMrWillus: MAY LOOKS SO FUCKING SMUG WTF
SneakyElf: we can all see it happening clint-
InMemoryOfMrWillus: I NEED TO DOCUMENT THIS-
Stocking-Spider: CLINT YOU WERE GONNA BLOW MY COVER EVERYTIME YOU SAID 'accept fatherhood' !!!
InMemoryOfMrWillus: SORRY NOT SORRY-
InMemoryOfMrWillus: SO TONY-
IronGrinch: no
IronGrinch: please, stop-
InMemoryOfMrWillus: HAVE YOU ACCEPTED FATHER-HOOD?!
IronGrinch: shut up
InMemoryofMrWillus: I'LL TAKE THAT AS A YES
MischievousMagic: stop using caps, we get it your excited or whatever. if you keep using it though i will cut your balls off
InMemoryOfMrWillus: ouch
SneakyElf: getting what you deserve
InMemoryOfMrWillus: double ouch-
Stocking-Spider: not that i don't appreaciate it-
Stocking-Spider: but why is it that every gift i've gotten so far is spider-man?
CaptainClaus: Because you freaked out that one time you leanred Spider-Man merch actually exist and your still do now-
Stocking-Spider: okay but like, can you blame me? i'm sometimes viewed as this vigilante criminal who does all of this for fame and that i'm just a coward and allot of other stuff, i never thought that companies would WANT that on any of their merch- and like, it's amazing
InMemoryOfMrWillus: who hurt you
InMemoryOfMrWillus: i'll kill them all
InMemoryOfMrWillus: watch me
CaptainClaus: We've talked about this Clint, don't use your amazing spy skills to kill people for and invalid reason-
InMemoryOfMrWillus: i think this is a very valid reason!
CaptainClaus: Try to explain it in court-
InMemoryOfMrWillus: fuck you-
InMemoryOfMrWillus: that's what I'll say in court
MischievousMagic: mood-
MischievousMagic: and honestly, i understand-
Stocking-Spider: G U Y S-
Stocking-Spider: WHY DO YOU DO THIS
Stocking-Spider: I'M FINE
InMemoryOfMrWillus: BECAUSE WE ALL CARE FOR EACHOTHER
InMemoryOfMrWillus: IT'S CALLED A CHOSEN FAMILY-
InMemoryOfMrWillus: granted we're a dysfunctional chosen family-
InMemoryOfMrWillus: BUT STILL A CHOSEN FAMILY-
InMemoryOfMrWillus: YOUR STUCK WITH US FOREVER GET USED TO IT-
Stoking-Spider: omg help me i've been kidnapped by my chosen family
RudolphFlies: I feel you kid-
MischievousMagic: consider yourself lucky
MischievousMagic: i've been kidnapped by my actual brother so many times it's sad
ChristmasLights: I prefer to call it 'Saving You From Imminent Death'
MischievousMagic: whatever, i can take care of myself
ChristmasLights: Sure brother, sure-
CaptainClaus: The fact that everyone bought my boyfriend cooking warms my heart-
CookieCutter: i think the rolling pin and multitude of cooking knives have double meanings behind them love
CaptainClaus: Sssshhhhhh, Babe, just accept the gifts as cooking things
CookieCutter: okay?
Stocking-Spider: i feel so stupid- everyone bought ms.natasha knives and guns and stuff and i just bought her a hoodie
ScienceSnowflake: A hoodie that says "I'm Not Insulting You, I'm Describing You"
ScienceSnowflake: I think that's good enough
SneakyElf: the gift is amazing now shut up-
InMemoryOfMrWillus: i hate all of you
SneakyElf: no you don't
InMemoryOfMrWillus: true
InMemoryOfMrWillus: but why did all of you get me a sticker saying "*shook*''!?
SneakyElf: tony
IronGrinch: on it
InMemoryOfMrWillus: OH MY FUCKING SHIT FUCK
InMemoryOfMrWillus: A NEW BOW AND ARROW-
InMemoryOfMrWillus: AND LIKE- ARROWS
InMemoryOfMrWillus: SO MANY ARROWS-
Stocking-Spider: *shook*
InMemoryOfMrWillus: THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU-
InMemoryOfMrWillus: ALSO I'M USING ALL THOSE STICKERS FOR AMAZING THINGS-
CaptainClaus: I can't believe Nat went there-
CookieCutter: i like it-
CookieCutter: i think it's cute that we have matching shirts saying "matching ancient artifacts''
CaptainClaus: The thing is, I don't know if it's a compliment or an insult
CookieCutter: probably both
Stocking-Spider: aaawwww! thank you mr.banner!
Stocking-Spider: i'm sure Tess will love the toys and bones-
ScienceSnowflake: Your welcome Peter
IronGrinch: rest in peace my beautiful flooring
Stocking-Spider: don't be so dramatic mr.stark!
IronGrinch: do you know who you're talking to?
Stocking-Spider: touche-
IronGrinch: okay, who got nat a journal with "Plans For World Domination" written on it?
InMemoryOfMrWillus: me bitch-
IronGrinch: w h y
InMemoryOfMrWillus: IT'S THE PERFECT GIFT FOR HER AND YOU CAN'T CONVINCE ME OTHERWISE
ChristmasLights: Brother are you crying?
MischievousMagic: no i'm not-
ChristmasLights: You're definitely crying
MischievousMagic: i just- i didn't expect to get any gifts and then peter just hands me these three necklaces. One silver one with a G on it for girl, one Rose-Gold with an N on it and one Gold one with a B on it
ScienceSnowflake: What does the N stand for?
MischievousMagic: non-binary
MischievousMagic: i need to go thank a spider, so goodbye
InMemoryOfMrWillus: god-speed
InMemoryOfMrWillus: literally
Stocking-Spider: okay so now that we've finished opening gifts, what do we do?
InMemoryOfMrWillus: well-
CaptainClaus: Do you guys have pictures of this?
IronGrinch: of course i do-
IronGrinch: i would never pass up the chance to embarrass peter-
RudolphFlies: i don't think him playing with clint's kids is embarrassing?
IronGrinch: i'll take whatever i can get-
CookieCutter: babe?
CaptainClaus: Coming, get everything ready-
CookieCutter: i can't get everything ready in the 20 seconds it will take for you to come in the kitchen
CaptainClaus: Not if you keep texting me
CookiesCutter: wow, love you too
Stocking-Spider: FOOD FOOD FOOD FOOD FOOD FOOD FOOD
CookieCutter: if you touch even one of these cookies i will cut you-
CaptainClaus: he won't, he loves you to much to do that, take one if you want
CookieCutter: i hate you, i made these cookies with lvoe and care and now he is gonna eat them before they cool do and their gonna crumble into tiny pieces and then everyone will be sad
CookieCutter: is that what you want?
CaptainClaus: he already stole a cookie babe it's to late
CookieCutter: i can't believe you
Stocking-Spider: wow! these are really good mr.bucky!
Stocking-Spider: and i would say i'm sorry but that would be a lie-
CookieCutter: thanks, i appreciate the sympathy
Stocking-Spider: you're welcome
InMemoryOfMrWillus: is no one gonna acknowledge the fact that bucky literally lived up to his new username?
SneakyElf: no
InMemoryOfMrWillus: ... okay
CaptainClaus: EVERYONE HELP ME SET UP THE TABLE
IronGrinch: yes mom
CaptainClaus: Wow, I mean
CaptainClaus: Peter is surprisingly mature for his age
IronGrinchy: yeah, but in this job you sort of have to be
CaptainClaus: I mean, I barely see Peter as Spider-Man at this point, you know? It's hard to stare this kid in the face and think that he is 15 and has gone through so much in 2 years
CaptainClaus: Also, you can't blame me for not thinking he is very mature, our first impressions weren't the best
IronGrinch: i mean, he's childish and all but he's a kid, all i know is that he takes the superhero thing very seriously, probably to much so
CaptainClaus: Yeah...
CaptainClaus: But as I was about to say, I was really touche by the fact that before we all ate he said that he was thankful for having such an amazing family, both his Aunt May and his chosen family, us-
IronGrinch: the kids been through allot- and yeah, i was touched by it to
CaptainClaus: The kid really is special
IronGrinch: i know... i'm proud of him
InMemoryOfMrWillus: especially since you've accepted fatherhood
IronGrinch: and you just ruined the moment, congratulations
InMemoryOfMrWillus: it's what I do best