i would sell you for one guinea pig-sized sweater
{GROUP CHAT: TUCKER FAM}
Oldest Child has added StanleyM
Father: Laura and I are having a baby.
StanleyM: oh-
StanleyM: congratulations?
Father: It's you
StanleyM: wh
Father: You're the baby.
Father has changed StanleyM’s nickname to Middle Child
Middle Child: ?????//??
Father: Welcome to the family group chat, son :)
Middle Child: w
Oldest Child: YOU KNOW…. dandelions symbolize everything I want to be in life
Middle Child: fluffy n dead w/ a gust of wind?
Oldest child: unapologetic. hard to kill. feral, filled with sunlight, bright, beautiful in a way that the conventional and controlling hate but cannot ever fully destroy.
Oldest Child: stubborn. happy. bastardous. friends with bees.
Oldest Child: highly disapproving of lawns. full of wishes that will be carried far after i die.
Youngest Child: edible
Mother: Sometimes I worry about you kids.
Oldest Child: dont
Oldest Child: does anyone want a fun fact
Youngest Child: is it another space fact
Oldest Child:
Oldest Child: yes
Middle Child: sure
Youngest Child: no
Oldest Child: on venus
Oldest Child: you could cook a 16-inch pepperoni pizza
Oldest Child: in seven seconds
Oldest Child: @youngest child oops.
Oldest Child: didnt see your comment
Middle Child: well!
Middle Child: time 2 go 2 venus 2 cook my pizza!
Oldest Child: you’d die on venus, stan
Middle Child: ur breaking my heart here, craig
✽•*`*•.¸¸.•*`*•.¸¸✽•*`*•.¸¸.•*`*•.¸¸✽•*`*•.¸¸.•*`*•.¸¸✽•*`*•.¸¸.•*`*•.¸¸✽
{PRIVATE MESSAGES: StanleyM and CraigT}
CraigT: stan i dont know how to tell you think but i think you’re attracted to idiots exclusively
StanleyM: yh that tracks
StanleyM: but what made u say that this time?
CraigT: i was talking to broflovski
CraigT: somehow hes under the assumption you still like wendy
StanleyM:
StanleyM: HOW
CraigT: I DONT KNOW? apparently he didn't realize wendy and bebe were dating
StanleyM: oh my god
StanleyM: i love kyle and all but
StanleyM: why is he such an idiot
StanleyM: is this a sign that i need to come out as bi to them
CraigT: only if you want to, atlas
CraigT: dont push yourself to
StanleyM: ‘atlas?’
CraigT: … constellation, and titan god of strength and endurance
CraigT: not important
StanleyM: oh thats so cute
StanleyM: so you DO like me after all
CraigT: absolutely not
CraigT: i would sell you for one guinea pig-sized sweater
StanleyM: love you too, ray!
CraigT: fuck you 🖕
✽•*`*•.¸¸.•*`*•.¸¸✽•*`*•.¸¸.•*`*•.¸¸✽•*`*•.¸¸.•*`*•.¸¸✽•*`*•.¸¸.•*`*•.¸¸✽
{GROUP CHAT: THE GALS}
Princess: you know, at this point being imprisoned by a beast who forces me to care for him and his large desolate mansion doesn’t seem like a bad option
Love: are you okay?
Princess: lol yeah
Princess: saw this pretty dress earlier today but i wanted to get some things for my sister so i couldn't get it (｡╯︵╰｡)
Sparkles: omg what color was it?? How long was it??
Princess: it was purple and white. simple little dress but looked so neat…
Princess: also there was a neat flower crown with similar colors and they would have looked SO good but my sister comes first and foremost and she needed new things ╮( ˘ ､ ˘ )╭
Sparkles: that is so sad…i’m so sorry, princess
Princess: it’s fine !
Princess: this princess will survive 😔
Princess: karen was super excited to see the new stuff i got her
Princess: so it's worth it
Unicorns: that’s sweet! what’d you get her?
Princess: well–
Rainbows: sorry (not really) to butt in
Rainbows: but i gotta tell you gals something
Love: what is it?
Sparkles: sup girl! what’s up?
Rainbows: yesterday i was at the beach, right
Rainbows: and i was changing out of my wetsuit and some guys drove by and honked at me, and my cousin struck a pose and yelled "THANK YOU" and
Princess: your cousin sounds like a rather cool dude
Rainbows: honestly that is the best way for a guy to help a girl fight catcalling ever i love him very much
Rainbows: kenny what do you mean ‘sounds like’ you LITERALLY hang out with him occasionally over the weekends
Princess: i do?
babygirl♥️ has come online
Rainbows: KENNY
Rainbows: MY COUSIN IS CRAIG
Princess: OHJHHHHHHGHH
Princess: IM SORRY I DIDNT REALIZE BECAUSE I NEVER SEE YOU OVER TEHRE WHEN I GO B Y
Princess: omg
Princess: wait
Princess: butters !!
Princess: heyyyyyyy
babygirl♥️: hiya !!
Princess: i wanted to talk to you,,,, ask a little somethin,,,
Unicorns: oh no
babygirl ♥️: ?? whats up ken
Princess: 👉👈 would you let me borrow a kiss …
Princess: i promise i’ll give it right back (^_−)☆
babygirl♥️: A
babygirl♥️: KJSJH<LK:LKFFKDkcn
Unicorns has muted Princess
Sparkles: 🔫 LEAVE THE BABYGIRL ALONE YOU SLUT
Sunshine: butters is a victim… 😔 💔