Dog Days

It was pretty obvious that Tony enjoyed pushing other people’s buttons. It came natural to him - he was just an argumentative person. Whether it was arguing from different scientific standpoints, or who was the most drunk the night before, he liked to come out on top.

It was also fairly obvious that Steve Rogers took the brunt of the arguing. Maybe it was because his father would always compare him to Captain America - mostly just degrading his son because his other ‘greatest creation’ vanished - or because of their first conversation on the helicarrier. Whatever it was, Tony just had to argue with him.

And because of this, Tony now found himself sitting in Clint’s lap with his head hanging out of the window, oddly satisfied as the wind blew through his white and brown fur. Yeah, fur, not hair. And his front paws were scraping up on the windows attempting to keep the rest of his body steady. When Happy braked at the next stoplight, Tony slammed back into Clint, who just chuckled in response. But one look at Steve made Tony regret ever ignoring his orders during the fight a few hours before.

A Few Hours Before…

“You have got to be kidding me,” Tony grumbled as soon as he changed into more comfortable clothes and finally got into bed.

The Avengers got an alert of a supernatural presence in a subtle location near the Canadian border, specifically in Maine’s never-ending expanse of forests. And of course, the alert had to be made at six in the morning, right when Tony was about crash after a whole night spent in his workshop. He knew that he should’ve gone to bed at a normal time like a normal human being, but refused to admit it. Instead, he threw the covers off the bed and slumped back down to his workshop.

On the way, he ran into Steve - who woke up at six every morning - and got shot a glare, obviously because the billionaire wasn’t already in his suit. Tony rolled his eyes grumpily at him in return.

When he reached his workshop, he stood in the contraption he deemed the “Spinning Rings,” waiting impatiently as the suit was put on him by JARVIS. Once the suit was on, he flew up to the helipad a few floors above. He clanked down next to the quinjet, approaching his seemingly annoyed teammates.

“We’re supposed to be in the air right now…” Steve was pinching the bridge of his nose.

“Then let’s go, you could have left. In case you haven’t noticed, I can fly. No quinjet required for me,” Tony slumped his shoulders and entered through the bay doors, taking a seat in the back rather than his usual spot in the cockpit. Clint glanced at him but hesitantly took his seat to pilot the jet.

Once Clint steadied the jet after takeoff, Tony kicked his feet up on the seat across from him, which happened to be the seat Steve was sitting next to. Steve looked at them in disgust and eventually nudged them down, causing Tony to glare at him. Steve didn’t stand down, and when Tony put his feet up again in retaliation, they were pushed right back down. When this occurred for the third time, Tony huffed loud enough to be heard by everyone, but kept his feet down.

“You do realize that this is technically my jet, seeing as I practically fund everything regarding the team, right?” Steve rolled his eyes at the statement.

“And I’m sure you realize that this jet is used by the team, and I’m willing to bet they would appreciate you keeping your filthy feet off the upholstery,” Steve stated flatly, voice raising a little.

“I think the team can speak for their damn selves, so how ‘bout you leave them out of it,” Tony was pushing it, but found that riling the soldier up was more fun than expected. Everyone else just minded their own business, but it was obvious that they were watching the pair.

“Whatever…” Steve’s eyes narrowed a little bit as he looked away. Tony used the opportunity to throw his feet back up, patiently waiting to see what Steve would do. He smirked when he earned the patented ‘Captain America’ look. Steve calmly got up from his seat to move to the bench located in the middle of the jet. Tony smiled to himself, knowing that he successfully got under his skin. He then closed his eyes, allowing himself to catch some much needed sleep.

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Tony was nudged awake by Bruce once they landed in a clear patch of grass, presumably close to where the supernatural force was signalled in. He jerked upright and wiped the crud out of his eyes, yawning as he went to retrieve his helmet - he left the suit on when he slept because it had air conditioning, which was much needed in the August heat. As he clambered off the jet, he looked around and could clearly see that they were in the middle of nowhere.

The team began to walk together towards a clump of trees, everyone holding their weapons in case of an unexpected attack. Tony fired up his repulsors and flew upwards to look around better. He noticed a tiny house - it looked sort of like a witch’s house, dark and definitely suitable to conjure up potions - beyond the treeline. He started to descend to investigate, and was immediately told by - you guessed it! - Steve to return back to the group.

Well, obviously Tony wasn’t going to do that. Instead, he landed a couple yards away from the house, and it appeared as if no one was home. “JARVIS, scan for any sign of movement,” Tony started towards the house when JARVIS reported that there was no movement from inside. He could still hear Steve giving him orders in his earpiece, so he clicked it off.

He opened the door and took a few steps inside, activating his night vision HUD because the little sliver of light let in through the door wasn’t helpful in any way. He startled when the door shut behind him, and he started to get a little nervous - not that he was going to admit that to anyone. With every step he took, the floor creaked and he suddenly saw movement out of the corner of his eye.

When he turned to look, he could see a black figure sitting in a rocking chair in the corner of the room. He immediately tried raising his arm to expose a small missile, but found that he was stuck. He struggled, sweat starting to form beneath his goatee, but he still couldn’t move. The creature in the corner began to move toward him, and suddenly his vision went white as the lights turned on in the room. The faceplate lifted up without his permission and he found himself eye to eye with Loki, because who else would be there.

“For a genius, you are probably one of the dumbest Midgardians I ever stumbled upon,” Loki smirked at him, and let out a little chuckle when Tony tried to snark back, but couldn’t.

Tony attempted to narrow his eyes, but it must’ve looked stupid by the way Loki’s smile widened. Loki looked out the window, and suddenly turned back to Tony with a new sort of motivation, “Now, now, we must be quick. The rest of your buffoons are nearing. As you may remember, your little stunt during New York eliminated any chance of me ruling this planet. But I have returned to seek revenge,” -Tony could have rolled his eyes at the cliche villainy statement - “and I will make sure that you will have suffered as much as m-”

Loki was interrupted when a familiar hammer burst through the wall, and Tony would have jumped for joy if it wasn’t for his (hopefully temporary) paralysis. However, Loki wasted no time in conjuring up a green-tinted fog around Tony, forgetting about finishing off his spiel. Tony let out a painful gasp as his body started to crack and pull all over, and found himself on his back a few seconds later.

He saw a familiar flash of red, white, and blue as he quickly slipped into unconsciousness.

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“Aw, he’s actually really cute.”

“This is serious, Clint!”

“I know, I know. But would it be weird if I cuddled him?”

“Clint, I swear I’m gonna knock you out. Besides, I don’t think he would necessarily appreciate that.”

Tony was gradually slipping back into consciousness. He still couldn’t open his eyes, trying to remember what had caused him to pass out in the first place. Listening to his teammates wasn’t helpful either - who the hell did Clint want to cuddle?

He decided to crack an eye open, which he immediately regretted because the light was very intense. He lifted his hand to cover his eyes and let out a little sigh as he plunged right back into darkness. But something wasn’t right, he didn’t remember his hand being that... hairy.

Then all these different scents hit him all at once. He could smell a mixture of confusion, reluctance, and a large amount of worry - that was weird, he didn’t remember having the ability to smell feelings - and groaned as he was overwhelmed. What the hell was going on?

“Tony? Can you understand us?” That was Bruce. He felt a hand lay on his stomach, which felt oddly satisfying. He decided to open his eyes, and could see his teammates looking at him from above with shocked faces. He started to feel a little claustrophobic.

“What are you all staring at, jeez. Give a guy a little space,” he attempted to say, but all that came out were a bunch of yelps, whines, and barks. Oh no.

“I think that answers your question, Bruce,” Natasha practically whispered.

He jerked upright, and lost balance as he tried to stand up, finding it excruciatingly difficult. So, he remained laying down, but immediately looked at himself. His eyes crossed and he could see a white muzzle, and in front of him laid two white paws, not hands. He scooted backwards from his paws, bumping into Thor who was standing behind him. He whimpered, which could have been because of Thor’s muscular legs or the shock that he was a fucking dog!

“Oh, Anthony. My brother has seemed to play one of his many tricks, I am deeply sorry,” Thor patted his head. Tony shook his head in disbelief. He had the sudden urge to just curl up in a ball and hide from the world. God, this was worse than he imagined.

He looked up at his teammates once more, now understanding why they were so worried. After the initial shock - although he would never get over it - he looked around to figure out where they were. It appeared as though they were still in Maine, at the quinjet’s landing site.

Steve was jogging back from the treeline where the witch house was. He spared Tony a worried glance then looked at everyone else. “Loki’s gone, I don’t know where he could’ve gone off to. He probably teleported or something,” he sighed.

Great… now Tony would have to remain like this until they found the trickster, which could be a day or months. Apparently the disappointment was showing on his face, because Natasha crouched down and scratched behind his ears, “We’ll find him, Stark.” He huffed as she stood up.

“We better get going, we need to get you checked out,” Bruce directed at Tony, as he walked towards the jet. Reluctantly, Tony rolled back up to his feet, trying to accommodate to walking on all fours rather than upright. He took a few steps to get the feel for it, and after he felt comfortable enough, he followed Bruce up the bay doors with everyone else in tow.

He heard his armor clank down in the back of the jet, carried by Thor. After watching to make sure it was secure, he hopped up on the seat he was in before, and curled up. The rest of the team took their respective seats as well, the only exception Steve switching with Clint to pilot. Clint took the opportunity to sit right next to Tony - really, he couldn’t have given him a little space - so that he could put Tony’s head on his lap. Tony wanted to pull away, but found himself so deep in thought he couldn’t.

Tony could see just how tense Steve was from this angle. His shoulders were hunched up, and he didn’t dare look anywhere but ahead. Tony began to wonder what sort of punishment he would be in for for disobeying Steve’s direct orders - as if this wasn’t punishment enough…

Clint quietly hummed to himself while smoothing out Tony’s fur on his back. Tony thoughts shifted to what was going to happen next. How was he going to help the team if he couldn’t fly his suit? What about the company? What about his life in general? He already knew he was going to be put under constant supervision. He wouldn’t be able to open any doors, or - shit, he wouldn’t even be able to use the fucking bathroom by himself! And it’s not like he could tell them his thoughts, because all he could do was bark and whine. That’s a whole other problem on it’s own…

God, this was humiliating. He involuntarily whimpered, and Clint smiled sadly down at him, and as if reading his thoughts, “Hey bud, it’s alright. Bruce was already talking about a way to make a collar for you so you can talk - I know you probably miss that,” Clint chuckled. Tony attempted to glare, but for once in his life he agreed with him. He missed being able to talk.

“Before you know it, we’ll be back at the tower and we’ll have the proper resources to solve this.” Tony was seriously getting annoyed with the amount of optimism here. He was a realist, and he knew that the only way to solve this problem was to find Loki. And he also knew that that was going to be a long shot, seeing as Loki wanted revenge on him - there was no doubt he was going to be stuck like this for a few weeks minimum.

Without realizing, Tony’s eyes were drifting shut. A few minutes later, he fell asleep with the thoughts of never turning back on his mind.

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Apparently while Tony was asleep, Steve managed to land the jet at SHIELD headquarters, not the tower. Tony was beyond pissed, there was no way in hell he was going to let Fury see him like this. Luckily, they were still in the quinjet, so Tony could - and would - retaliate being dragged into that god awful place.

When Steve pressed the button to open the jet, Clint went to pick Tony up, who was having none of that. He leaped off the seat, barely getting by Clint, and made a dash for the door. Tony now appreciated the fact that he had four legs, making him a lot faster.

He was able to make it outside, but the heat hit him like a brick wall. He ignored the humid outdoors while running as fast as he could and as far away from the headquarters as possible. Unfortunately for him, he couldn’t really go anywhere, seeing as Steve landed the jet on the helipad, which happened to be on the roof. He could hear shouting from behind him, but he refused to look back.

The logical part of him knew that he was going to get caught, seeing as it was five against one, and that he was quite literally running in circles. But the other part of him knew that if he allowed Fury to see him like this, he wouldn’t hear the end of it, so he kept running.

After about a minute-or-so of dodging his teammates, he started to get hot. Like, really really hot. He started panting and slowing down, his tongue hanging out of his mouth so he would have more room to suck in air. He cursed at his newfound fur. He eventually slowed down enough that Steve was able to snag him up and hold him to his chest. He tried to squirm a little, but there was zero chance Steve was gonna budge.

“Are you kidding me, Stark? I know this isn’t an enjoyable situation for you, but you could at least cooperate to help speed things up,” Steve smacked Tony’s muzzle, enough to tell him that he was disappointed and if he tried another stunt like that there would be a more serious consequence.

“Jesus Christ, Tony,” Clint sputtered, dripping in sweat. He apparently did the brunt of the chasing. The summer heat was obviously helping neither of them. Clint bent over, trying to catch his breath. Natasha just patted Clint’s back, rolling her eyes and raising her eyebrow at Tony, who was trying to peek over Steve’s shoulder. She was obviously unimpressed.

“Now that that is over, we have to bring him down to the lab. I already informed Agent Hill that we were coming in, so she assembled some technicians to help as well as… well, someone who may be more of an expert in this field,” Bruce gestured at Tony.

Steve roughly shoved Tony into Thor’s arms, obviously fed up with his antics. If looks could kill, Tony would already be six feet under from the glare Steve sent him. Thor followed Steve down the stairs that led into the building.

Tony sighed into Thor’s chest, knowing that there was no chance of escape now - and because of the foreseeable punishment that was Captain America.

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The group ended up in a lab where Tony was now standing on an examination table, reluctantly waiting for the examiner to come in. He couldn’t quite hide his fear because his stupid tail wouldn’t listen to him and come out from in between his legs. On top of that, he was shaking. If he was being honest, he was more worried about Fury popping in rather than getting touched all over.

There was a mirror running parallel to the examination table and for the first time that day, he was able to look at his appearance. Not to sound self-obsessed, but Tony had to admit he was a handsome dog. His fur was more fluffy than fine, but it wasn’t too fluffy to the point he was a straight up puffball. His neck and chest were white, as well as his muzzle and paws. His back was a splotchy gray, with speckles of black scattered about. There was also a hint of brown on his face, stomach and hind legs. His tail was the only epitome of fluff, and he had no doubt in his mind that it would get played with in the future. He admits that he’s grateful for Loki for at least sparing him his looks, and not transforming him into a Shih Tzu or something. He sighed at the little victory.

When the door opened to reveal a man in a lab coat, Bruce stood up to shake his hand. The man was actually a veterinarian, apparently the ‘expert’ that Bruce was talking about before. After the man shook his hand in return, he introduced himself.

“Hello, I’m Doctor Sherman, and I’m just going to be running a few tests today to make sure that Mr. Stark is healthy. I’ll also be doing a physical examination so that we’ll know how to accommodate to his needs,” he was slipping on plastic gloves as he stated this.

“Now, how did this,” he gestured to Tony, “exactly happen?”

“My brother was playing one of his many tricks, I cannot explain to the fullest because I’m not experienced with such sorcery,” Thor looked down at his hands.

“Ah, I see. Well, I might not be able to help transform you back, but I can ensure that you receive the proper information on how to remain in tip-top shape until this gets sorted.”

The rest of the team stood by as Tony was looked over. He was measured, checked over for any abnormalities, and blood samples were taken to be observed in a lab. And very - very - reluctantly, Tony gave a urine sample. Doctor Sherman was lucky that Steve was there to tell Tony to, otherwise he might have bitten the daylights out of the persistent doctor. Then, on top of it all, Tony had to stand uncomfortably as a thermometer was shoved up his ass. At this, Clint couldn’t hold his laughter in. Tony just growled, showing his pearly whites at the archer, until Natasha nudged him to stop laughing.

When the doctor was finished, he went to grab his clipboard to observe his notes. “Well, from what I can examine physically, Tony here is a healthy pup. He is an Australian Shepherd, a working breed. They are known to be highly energetic, so daily exercise will be necessary.” Tony groaned at that, knowing that Steve was most likely going to make him tag along during his strenuous workouts.

“He is a little less than two feet tall, his coat is considered medium length, so grooming will also be required, especially during this summer heat. His diet will have to be strict, so you all should refrain from feeding him human food. Stick to store-bought dog kibble, and a few treats now and then should be acceptable.” Tony was seriously about to bite the shit out of this guy. What the fuck?! No human food! Tony really hated his life right now.

“And water only,” Tony growled at that, his body couldn’t function without his daily five cups of coffee. Steve shot him a glare, and Tony glared right back. “I know that this is a huge adjustment for you, but you must understand that if you don’t follow these requirements, the results could be fatal…” Doctor Sherman placed a gloved hand on his back, and Tony was debating whether to bite his hand off, but decided against it.

“If any of you have any questions, please don’t hesitate to call. Thank you,” with that, Doctor Sherman nodded at the group and abruptly left.

Tony let out a sigh he didn’t realize he was holding in. He wasn’t glad, however, at all these new restrictions placed on his life. And he knew that Captain Stick-Up-His-Ass would oblige to all of them. Damn, Bruce needed to hurry up with that new collar so he could tell everyone that they were overreacting, that it would be fine if he still ate pizza or drank a cup of coffee, nothing would happen!

“Ok, you heard the man, Tones. We better get back to the tower so we can get supplies. I can tell that you don’t want to stay here,” Clint smiled down at him, and Tony decided right then that he was the best person ever.

Clint picked him up off the table and hesitantly put him on the ground so he could walk himself. He could tell everyone was on edge, waiting for him to make a break for it. He decided to play nice, and maybe his good behavior would allow him to get away with some things in the future.

The team was walking through SHIELD headquarters, and while Tony was trotting along, he couldn’t help but notice all the ‘aws’ directed towards him. Don’t get him wrong, Tony loved being in the spotlight, but god, couldn’t these people just mind their own business. For once, Tony would have preferred hiding in the shadows. The next agent that made a comment about his ‘cuteness’ was going to get a bite to the throat…

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The team made it to the entrance successfully, and it was considered a success because Fury didn’t make an appearance. Happy was waiting just outside, standing beside a sleek Rolls-Royce, big enough to fit everyone. When the team approached him, he stuck out his hand towards the super-soldier.

“Captain Rogers,” Happy nodded towards the man.

“Hi Happy. Thanks for being here on such short notice,” Steve shook his hand in return. Happy nodded at the rest of the team before his face showed a hint of disgust when he laid his eyes upon the sole dog.

“Uh, I didn’t know that you were going to be bringing along a pet,” Tony sighed, knowing where this was going, “and I don’t think Boss would really appreciate fur all over his car. Hey, where is he by the way?” Happy broke off his staring contest with Tony to look around for said man.

Tony rolled his eyes and barked, re-grabbing his bodyguard’s attention. Happy shot him another look, before looking at Cap for an answer regarding his boss’s location. Steve scratched the back of his head and eyed Tony. Happy’s facial expression changed as he looked down at the dog.

“Tony?” Happy questioned. Tony nodded his head to answer, that yes, he was the dog.

“How- how did this happen? I mean, he’s pretty stupid, but not that stupid,” Happy crouched down so he could inspect Tony closer. Tony’s eyebrows shot up, obviously surprised that Happy had the guts to call him stupid.

“Sorry, boss,” well, at least he had the decency to look ashamed. He stood back up and looked to any team member willing to answer his question. All Clint said was “Loki,” and Happy sighed and looked sadly down at Tony.

“Ok, well, let’s get going. The sooner we get back to the tower, the sooner this can get sorted out,” Happy opened the back door. Everyone slid in, and Tony went to jump on the seat but Happy snatched him out of the air.

“Sorry, but I’m sure you of all people understand that fur doesn’t go well with leather,” Happy gave a shaky smile, and placed Tony on Steve’s lap, who then proceeded to put him on Clint’s lap. Happy closed the door and went to the driver’s seat. He put the car in drive and started heading towards Avengers Tower.

Clint rolled down the window, and shot Tony a mischievous look. Tony leaned his head towards the window, and the breeze flowing through his fur was an amazing feeling and - oh hell no, Tony was not going to succumb to his dog instincts and stick his head out the window like a filthy animal. Nope, especially now that the team was looking at him, waiting for him to do so. Happy drove down the long driveway and finally made it to the first intersection. The rest of the team put their windows down in an attempt to ‘cool off’.

Tony was stubborn, but his fur wasn’t helping at all in this heat. He could feel the slight breeze from Clint’s lap, and discretely re-aimed his head so that he could cool down a bit. Clint, the asshole, lifted his knee up higher, so that Tony’s head was closer to the window. The billionaire shot him a dirty look, but Clint was too busy closing his eyes, making a show of how good the fresh air felt.

Tony looked around and saw that everyone else was doing the same, except Steve who was just staring ahead. He shook his head but attempted to stand up, and he would later argue that the only reason he was going to do this was so he didn’t pass out from the heat. He balanced on Clint’s legs and stuck his head out a pinch. Damn it, it wasn’t supposed to feel that good…

As if his body took over, Tony’s front legs jumped up so he could stick his entire head out the window. The air traveled through his fur all the way to the tip of his tail, immediately cooling him down. He closed his eyes, ignoring the amused looks he was receiving from his team, and opened his mouth. His tongue flopped out and Tony couldn’t describe the sensation, but it definitely felt good.

Then Happy had to slam on the brakes as the light turned red, and he crashed back into Clint’s chest. Clint wrapped his arms around Tony’s small body and chuckled. Tony looked around, embarrassed that such little force could throw his body hard enough to knock the wind out of him. Luckily, most of the team wasn’t really paying attention, except for Steve.

Tony looked at Steve, and all he could see was utter disappointment. Tony couldn’t tell if it was at him, or Steve himself. But from what Tony could tell, he knew that this wasn’t going to be a fun journey for either of them.