Day 63
A cold stone hand clamped around Tony’s throat choking off his screams of terror.
“You can’t do anything.”
The blackness grabbing around him’s voice reverberated through Tony’s skull, and thundered in his ears. He tried again to scream, but remained choked off.
“I will break you.”
Long slender strips of rusted evil metal extended from the black forms free hand.
“No…” Tony choked and kicked his legs.
“There is nothing you can do.”
It thrust the three pieces of metal through his torso.
Tony’s cry of pain was choked out by blood flooding his throat drowning his attempts to cry out.
“I will break you,” The black mass repeated.
Hard jagged stone drove into Tony’s back.
This time his scream pushed past the hand strangling him. This time his scream made through the drowning blood choking him.
“I will crush them, and there is nothing you can do to stop me.”
Tony was thrown to the floor.
His head hit the ground, his eyes shot open, and he was not laying on a stone floor, rather his own soft bed.
“Pepp?” Tony called for his wife through the blackness of the room.
Sweat dripped uncomfortably down his face and shoulders. He wanted to angle himself around so he could see her, but terror had frozen the working half of his body.
“Pepper!” He cried out again.
Tony’s weak cry pulled Pepper out of her sleep.
“Friday, light’s,” Pepper ordered as she sat up and scooted close to her husband; she could feel him shaking where he lay in the bed. His hands were clutching the pillow so tightly that his knuckles were white. She reached to touch his sweaty shoulder, but stopped. If he was having a panic attack she could make it worse.
“Tony?”
“Pepp?” Her husband opened his eyes and lifted his head a little.
“Yeah sweaty it’s me.”
He whimpered something incomprehensible able and seemed to shrink where he lay.
“I got you Tony,” Pepper gently pulled him to her arms and held his head close to her chest. He slowly wrapped his arms around her and leaned into her embrace. She silently prayed that he wouldn’t lapse back into his cold indifference. She ran her hands through his sticky wet hair, “I am right here Tony. I’m here. I will always be right here.”
The man’s shoulders shook and long drawn out sobs filled the quiet room.
“Shh Tony, you’re safe now. You’re safe,” Pepper pulled him closer to her. What horrible tourture had his mind forced upon him tonight?
“I’m sorry,” Tony sobbed into her chest. His trembling hands squeezed her shoulders, “I’m sorry- I can’t- I don’t-”
“Shh. It’s okay Tony. It’s okay,” Pepper soothed.
His cries of fear and pain slowly quieted as Pepper held him.
“What’s going to happen to me?” Tony finally spoke in a coherent sentence. He looked up at her with frightened brown eyes.
“I don’t know Tony,” Pepper stroked his cheak, “But we’ll figure it out.”
“When?”
Pepper sighed.
“I wish I knew.”
“I don’t think I can do this.”
“You can Tony,” Pepper assured him.
“I can’t Pepp,” Tony whimpered, “It hurts… I can’t-- and then it… Pepper it keeps, and then…”
“Shh, slow down baby. Breath. Breath, your safe,” Pepper stroked her husband’s sweaty hair in an attempt to calm him.
“I can’t Pepper. I can’t do anything-” A fresh bought of sobs shook Tony’s frighteningly thin body.
“Shh, you can Tony-”
“It broke me- I can’t- what if I and then-”
“Tony shh-”
Dark metal drove through his abdomen, and he screamed. Something grabbed around him; he screamed louder and tried to pull away. It, the black, the metal, the crushing stone, it was all back and it was crushing him. His daughter, his son, his wife, everyone, all of them were in danger, it was coming for them and he couldn’t stop. He could stop It because It had already broken him, crushed him, crumpled him and thrown him to the ground to die.
“Tony, it’s okay your safe.”
Tony wished he could believe the voice that was echoing somewhere in the distance.
“Tony, baby I got-”
The torrent of blood rushing past his ears drowned out the voice calling to him.
He didn’t want to keep fighting the drowning black and pain.
He didn’t want to try any more.
He couldn’t stop it.
Any of it.
He screamed louder as twisting pain throbbed up his spine from where his back had been snapped.
“Tony!” Pepper’s shrill cry sliced through the roar of blood hammering past his ears, “Tony! Come on baby! You’re okay, you’re okay, I got you. Shh…”
She was here. She shouldn’t be here. Not under the rock. He couldn’t save her now. He couldn’t protect her now. He was broken…
“Please leave,” Tony choked, “Please go before-”
“I am not going anywhere Tony,” Her voice was firm and unstrained, “I am not going to leave you like this.
“Please!” Tony begged. He needed her to go, he needed her to be safe, “I can’t protect you much longer.”
He thought he could feel the pressure on his shattered back grow.
“Tony open your eyes,” Pepper whispered.
“They are…”
“No, Tony look at me please.”
“I can’t-”
He wanted to. He wanted to so bad, but it was to dark. Far to dark.
“Tony, baby please open you’re eyes,” Pepper whispered and stoked his sweaty cheeks, “Baby you are okay. You’re home. Safe.”
Tony only whimpered and squeezed his eyes shut tighter.
Pepper was pretty sure he was caught somewhere between a dream and real life.
“It’s okay Tony. Just open your eyes.”
She guided his head so he was facing her.
“Listen to me Tony. You are at home. I am safe. Morgan and Peter are safe. Tony, you are safe. You don’t have to hold the building up anymore.”
Slowly Tony pealed his eyes open.
“See? We’re safe,” She stoked his cheek, and wiped the tears away from his eyes, “You’re safe now.”
Tony just nodded slowly and leaned his head against her.
“Pepper?”
“Yeah baby?” Pepper rocked him in her arms.
“I’m scared…”
“I know,” Pepper said softly and kissed the top of his head, “I know. It's okay. I am scared too, but we will get through this.”
“But what if-”
“No Tony. No what ifs. Being scared is okay. It’s okay.”
“I’m sorry-”
“You don’t need to apologize Tony. You didn’t do anything wrong.”
Tony gave up on holding back. He let the tears out. All of them this time.
He was done not caring, because in truth he did care, and he had cared all along.
He let himself cry as Pepper held him close.
“Tony when you calm down enough, I need you to talk to me,” Pepper spoke calmly as she soothingly combed her fingers through his hair.
“I will,” Tony swallowed. He knew he had to. Maybe it would help.
“I need to know what’s happening in there,” She tapped his temple, “So I can help you Tony.”
“I know,” Tony mumbled his response.
Pepper kissed the top of his head.
“I love you Tony. I will not let you do this alone.”
Tony knew she wasn't saying it out of habit this time. He knew she meant it, so Tony tilted his head upward and for the first time in a very long time he kissed his wife.
For the first time in a long time feeling came back to him. A feeling other than cold lost desperation.
For the first time in weeks Tony felt ready to try again.