Day 73
His name was Charlie Spencer, and you murdered him Stark, not that you care in the least…
Tony gripped the steering wheel a little tighter.
You murdered him Stark.
What had he done? What had he done?
Tony knew what he had done. He had failed, and he done so in the worst way. Failing to create his dream, failing to build it, his dream of safety, his dream where the stars didn’t fall from the sky as millions of armies, his dream where the world didn't burn. Failing to build it would have been better, much better than this. He had created it, but he had done something wrong, something horribly wrong, and he had almost lost. Lost everything. He had driven a sword through the heart of the thing he had all ways tried to save. He had almost destroyed everything. He had let his visions, his night terrors, control him and trick him. It was guilt and fear that had driven him to creating Ultron.
Not that you care in the least.
Tony slammed on the breaks, and pulled over.
“Son of bitch!”
He pounded his hands against the steering wheel.
He wished he didn't care.
He wished he was numb to what he had done, but every day it found him. Every night the screams of the people who would be alive if he hadn't tried to hard echo through his mind, and when he’s alone, when no one is watching, he drinks. He tries not to feel. He tries not care, but he doesn't deserve not to feel, he deserves the punishment of drowning in his guilt. He deserves to be pulled under the river of despair that he had thrown the world into.
Tony he deserved what he got.
He had broken the fragile world that he loves, and he can never get over that.
Tony glanced over at the thick book in the passenger seat. He didn't like the idea of surrendering his freedom, but he needed to do it. Sighing he pulled back out onto the highway.
He wasn't sure what was right anymore, but he was pretty sure signing that document was. Maybe this way he could fix things instead of breaking them. Maybe the world would be safe this way. Maybe The Avengers would be okay this way. Maybe for once he was making the right choice.
It would make everything better...
Right?