Day 75
Love the Stars for me...
He steps toward the abyss. The darkness calls his name.
Pepper can see he is slipping. Slowly losing himself. Each day she can practically feel him getting closer and closer to slipping into the black void of despair that has opened up in his mind. She tries to pull him back, but each day he slips a little more. She can’t help him… save him… he won’t let her, he barely even speaks anymore. It has become clear to her, so painfully clear that Tony never really came home. He lost part of himself in the stars. She doesn’t think she can bring him back.
She wakes late in the night after a hard day to find the bed next to her empty. Fear begins to trickle into the back of her mind. She lost her trust in him being alone with himself a long time ago.
“Friday?” Pepper knows that the AI will understand her question.
“On the roof,” The AI’s words send jolts of fear spiking through Pepper. No. He wouldn't. Not that way. To uncertain. He was to smart for jumping. He wouldn't… would he?
“What?!” Pepper chokes and picks up her pace rushing toward the route the roof.
“From my calculations he poses no threat to himself or Morgan,” The only thing Pepper hears is her daughter's name. She bolts, panic driving nails into the very fabric of her being.
He wouldn't. He wouldn't. He wouldn't!
The words scream in Pepper’s mind as she rockets up the stairs to the roof. He wouldn’t.
Pepper stops in her tracks as she reaches the roof. Tony is laying on his back, no where near the edge of the roof, with Morgan on his chest. He has one strong arm wrapped protectively around the child. Her fear eddies away as she watches him with his daughter. He points toward the stars with his hand that isn’t holding the child.
“See that one? That one is Cassiopeia,” He traces an invisible line in the air. The baby in his arms does the same, “It looks different from the other side of the galaxy. Bigger, bolder… scarier."
Morgan lets out a murmur of wonder.
“They’re beautiful aren’t they?” There is a hit of something in his voice that Pepper hasn’t heard in a long time. Wonder. Beautiful wonder.
The baby lets out happy babble.
“Don’t be afraid of them…” Something haunts his voice as he speaks these words, “They are too beautiful to be feared. Love them.”
Confusion trickles into Pepper’s mind. Does he hate the stars?
“Love them for me. I can’t… not anymore,” The longing in Tony’s voice slices into Pepper.
The baby turns her attention from the stars, and runs her fingers over one of the long scars on her father’s arm, and coos. He doesn’t flinch. For the first time since coming home he does not flinch at the touching of his scars. He laughs. Not loud a boisterous one, and not flat one. A real one. A fond one.
“That’s not a star constellation,” There is amusement in his tone that Pepper has not heard in a long time, but there is also a twinge of regret and sadness, “The story there is no good…”
Pepper hasn’t heard his stories from what happened. She only knows it was bad.
“It involves a lot of pain… and loss…” His words trail off, “Some stories are better left untold, so they can someday die away, and be released into the winds.”
The baby grabs his arms and pulls it close to her.
“Thanks for taking me bad stories and all Moe,” His whisper is peaceful and loving. Pepper slides into a sitting position, and stays. She listens. She listens to his finally warm voice as he shares time with their daughter. She listens to him speak of stars, and moons that hang in the sky billions of miles away. She listens until she dreams, and even in her dreams she listens. She dreams until a gentle hand shakes her awake. She opens her eyes to find herself staring into Tony’s deep brown gaze. Their small child tucked neatly and protectively in one of his strong arms, asleep.
“Me and Moe are going inside, I thought I’d see if you want to join,” Tony’s voice is calm and loving. Before she knows it she is on her feet, and his strong arm is around her, keeping her close. Together they make their way inside and leave the night behind.
Pepper can see the change. Something about that night… their daughter has brought him home from the stars. She has saved him, and with every passing day he seems to come back a little more. A laugh. A joke. Warmth in his voice. He is finally coming home.
He turns his back on the abyss. He can no longer hear the darkness call his name.