Day 77
Tony lifted an eyebrow and looked himself up and down. The other him returned the look of scepticism. Tony had so many questions for this older him standing before him. But the most prominent question burning in his mind, was what the fuck have they done to you? No. Not you. Me.
What the fuck have they done to ME?
He looked like he had been beaten down more times than humanly possible. He looked broken. He looked tired. He looked lost, and he looked… old.
Tony felt his glare melt away from his face, he felt as his eyebrows furrowed with concern. He couldn’t mask the emotions that flared through him. Fear worked its way into his mind.
What happened- happens?- to me?
What do I lose?
He can see it in his eyes looking back at him.
Loss.
So.
So.
SO Much loss.
Pain and grief.
SO much loss.
Tony opened his mouth and tried to speak, but no words came. He wanted to apologize, but he didn’t know for what. He wanted to tell this other him it would be okay, but he couldn’t. He didn’t know if it would. Looking at himself he really didn’t think it would be okay. He was SO broken. Tony opened his mouth again, and this time a small choked sound came out.
The other him spoke first looking him over with sad apologetic eyes.
“I’m sorry. I am so sorry.”
That was what he had been going to say! Why was this him apologizing…?
Oh. Tony choked. He was apologizing for everything that was going to happen. He was apologizing for whatever it was that was hurt him so bad.
He blamed himself for everything that would happen to get him here, and he was apologizing for it because he knew it would hurt him.
Then Tony did the thing he least expected himself to do in this situation. He reached forward and he grabbed the older broken him, and he pulled him into a hug, and he hugged him tight.
“I forgive you.”
He didn’t know what had been done… what would be done... but he forgave this sad version of himself for whatever it was, because he had a feeling that this older him would never would.