So This is Love
Natasha continued to stare at Steve. After saying those words, it was like her whole world changed. It was no longer dull. The colors were brighter, the sun was warmer, everything was just good. So this is love. After a moment of uninterrupted silence, Natasha reached up and placed a small kiss on Steve’s soft lips. Once they parted, Steve looked into Natasha’s eyes. He saw for the first time an authenticity in Natasha. He pulled her close and kissed her more. Their lips were locked for a while, their tongues battling each other in their mouths as they held hands lovingly. An alert beeped on Natasha’s phone, and the pair paused to see what it was about. Natasha informed, “I have to go.”
“I’ll miss you.” he said as she got up out of the bed, her hands slowly sliding away from Steve’s until eventually they separated. Natasha left without another word. As she made her way down the hall, a large smile covered her whole face and she felt her cheeks get warmer and warmer.
But she kept her composure as she entered a large room with Fury sitting at a desk. “I wanted to talk about that mission, with Hydra. We never discussed the mission details.” Fury said.
Natasha took a seat, quiet for a moment as she thought about what she could possibly say about it. “Steve and I entered the building, cleared out all,” she stopped herself, “or what we thought was all of the enemies. I found the data and Steve found hostages. We were caught off guard and Steve got hurt. That what you want?”
Fury sensed that she didn’t want to talk about the mission. He sensed it was too soon. “Very well. Just take some time to recover.” He seemed as though he wanted to say more but refrained from doing so.
Natasha left, feeling a bit confused about what just happened. She quickly walked back to her room, desperately wanting Steve to still be there. But before she reached the hall, she was cut off by Bruce who said, “Hey, Nat. I know you’re taking a break and everything, but could you come look at this computer. I know you are good with the things and, frankly, I don’t want to ask Tony for help.”
Natasha wanted to go see Steve, but knew it would seem strange if she rushed off without helping Bruce, “Sure.”
Natasha accessed the computer and fixed the problem. As soon as she was done, she ran off to her room, nearly sprinting to avoid any more distractions. She reached the room and entered slowly. But when she reached the bed, Steve was gone, probably off to do some work of his own. She sighed, feeling a little sad that he had left. She laid on the bed, hoping he would show up just to be there with her. She waited and waited, but nothing.
Finally, someone entered the room, calling out, “Nat?”
She recognized the voice to be that of Clint. “In here” she said. Clint moseyed in and sat beside her on the bed.
“How are you holding up?” he asked.
“I’m really good actually.” she told.
Clint smiled, loving the times when Natasha was happy. It seemed to only get more rare as time goes by. “Good. I -” Clint droned on, but Natasha zoned out, thinking about Steve.
Suddenly, Steve appeared behind Clint. Natasha noticed him, saying “oh hi, Steve.”
Steve tried to think of something to say and ended up asking, “hey, Nat, can I see you in private for a second?” his face was serious, business-like.
“Sure thing.” She turned to look at Clint and said, “sorry. We’ll talk later. Tell the fam I said hi.” She left the room with Steve and as they walked down the hall, he nudged her into a little broom closet. He stood tall before her, his hands placed firmly on her hips. As he stared into her eyes, he told in little above a whisper, “I love you.”
“Hush.” she said. “Do you know what Fury would think if he found out we were together.”
“Oh, we’re together?” he giggled.
“Well, I just...assumed-” she turned away, thinking she just ruined everything.
He smiled as he took his hand and turned her face towards his. “Yeah. we’re together.”
She giggled, loving the idea.There was a time when she firmly believed that love was a fallacy, a myth. But now she understood. She stood on her toes to reach Steve’s face and she kissed him with passion. It was the kind of kiss she had definitely been saving up. Not a kiss she used as an act, the kind that showed genuine love. It was the kind of kiss one could only perform if they were truly touched by love’s blessed hand. And Steve understood that.
Steve pulled away, struck by inspiration. He led Natasha by the hand to the room housing all his stuff. With haste, Steve grabbed his sketchbook and a sharpened pencil. He told Natasha to sit down and he soon began to draw her face. “Why are you doing this?” she wondered.
“You’re too beautiful to not do this.” he said.
A half hour passed and Steve was finally done. He showed the completed image to her for her approval. “It looks like me. That may mean that’s its ugly. I don’t know.” she said.
He slapped her lightly on the arm. “You are not ugly.” he laughed with her as they further admired his art.
Weeks passed and Steve and Natasha were getting stronger and stronger. Natasha was just about fully recovered and Steve was only a few days away. They sat in his room just talking to each other when Steve proposed, “do you want to go for a run?”
“I’ll leave you in the dust,” she replied.
As they stood outside, ready to run, Steve said, “first to 5 miles wins.”
“Only 5 miles? What is this, a leisurely stroll?” she laughed.
“I figured I’d lower the distance as your handicap.” he retorted.
As Natasha yelled go, the pair raced around the block over and over again. The race was neck in neck for a while as they both sprinted as fast as they could. At the last stretch, Steve started to slow down as Natasha only got faster. Crossing the imaginary finish line, Natasha cheered in celebration of her victory.
Steve approached her, breathless. “I was going easy on ya.”
“Keep telling yourself that, big guy.” she chuckled as they both entered Stark tower. They hid in a small unoccupied room. Closing the shades, Steve pushed Natasha gently against the wall, kissing up and down her neck.
“I love you,” Steve said between kisses. He made it his mission to say those three words at least once a day to Natasha just to remind her that someone was there for her through thick and thin. Come what may. And she would always respond with that same old cliche, “I love you more.”
“What’s say we go back to your room and get some sleep.” Steve said as it was already nearly midnight.
“Fine, but if anyone comes in, you’re hiding under the bed.” she smiled as they accompanied each other to their rooms. Steve entered his room and waited about 5 minutes - the longest 5 minutes of his life - to exit and go into Natasha’s room. He laid on the bed beside her. They grew to actually appreciate the twin sized bed, it kept them close. Natasha curled up into his arms and the pair drifted into a nice slumber.
Natasha awoke to see Fury looming at the entrance of the bedroom. She whispered to not wake Steve up, “what are you doing in here?” Her tone was angry.
Fury gestured her to follow him into the hallway. She obeyed, exiting the room as quietly as possible. “What the hell do you think you’re doing?” he was very clearly mad.
“It’s not what it looks like.” she defended herself.
“Oh but it is. You’re clearly dallying with Rogers. Does this place seem like college or something?” Fury whisper yelled.
Natasha’s head was down. She knew she screwed up by letting Steve sleep in her room. She was usually more cautious than that. She replied, “it’s nothing. It’s just an infatuation.”
“Well, the infatuation will end. You will break off your relationship with Rogers. Do you even realize what your relationship could do to missions. Well, I’ll tell you. It could very well compromise every single one you work together on.” Fury stormed off, not letting Natasha get in another word.
She stood, not knowing what to do in this situation. She loved Steve deeply and she couldn’t just end it like it was nothing. She went back into her room only to see Steve getting up from the bed. She leaned her back against the door, and hit the back of her head against it in frustration. Her whole world seemed to start crumbling yet again, but she had to stay strong. She couldn’t let Steve know what just happened.