Natasha Can Never Have Nice Things...Ever
Steve approached Natasha, a smile adorning his face, “everything ok?”
She acted happy, as if her whole world wasn’t just shattered into a million bits. “It’s great with you here.” She reached up and kissed him. Her arms were wrapped tightly around his waist. She didn’t want to let go, fearing this kiss could be the last.
Steve pulled his face away from hers, naive to the situation they were in. His hands were still planted on her hips. “Did you hear about the party Tony’s throwing tonight?”
“Who hasn’t?” she said, her smiling fading as thoughts of losing Steve, losing these moments, continued to invade her mind.
Before she knew it, Steve whisked her off her feet. Holding her close to him, he asked, “could you be my date?”
A frown soon appeared on her face. Fury would surely be there, and he would definitely be on the lookout for them after this morning. Steve, noticing her upset look, assured her, “we would just be ‘friends.’ Nobody will notice a thing.”
A fake smile lit up her face as he set her gently on the ground. “It’s a date then.” If this was to be her last romantic moments with Steve, she was going to savor every minute of it. Their foreheads touched as they softly swayed to the calming song of their love.
“I love you,” he whispered intimately into her ear, but this time, she didn’t reply.
They each got dressed for the party in their own rooms, wanting to surprise each other. The dress code was casual, but Natasha always wanted to doll up anyway, especially now that she was going with Steve. She threw on a red dress with a little white bow tie. Steve wore a nice blue shirt with his normal jacket along with a pair of black dress pants.
The moment he saw Natasha, his eyes lit up. She was the most beautiful girl he had ever laid eyes on. He sauntered up to her with swagger, “you know, I love you for who you are, not your looks. But damn if you aren’t some good-looking eye candy.”
She blushed, adoring the way he complimented her. As much as she wanted to just have fun tonight, she couldn’t stop thinking about what Fury said this morning. After a few minutes of deliberation as they silently headed for the party, she decided that she needed to leave him. As much as she deeply, truly loved him, she realized the relationship was wrong. It was in her character that she was always hiding, darting from one cover to the next, always on the run. And she couldn’t hurt Steve by not being there. She read him like a book and to her it was clear that he needed someone to be there. She thought she could be that one. But the business she was in just didn’t allow for emotions, including love...especially love.
Entering the large room housing the festivities, Natasha and Steve spotted Clint, Bruce and Tony drinking together in the corner. Natasha approached them, needing a distraction from all her thinking. “Hey, boys. Sorry we’re a little late,” she said, choking back the sad quiver in her voice.
“Fashionably.” Clint joked.
Chatting with the team proved to be just the distraction she needed. She had already pushed away all the troubles plaguing her to have a few good laughs. Suddenly, a lively song blasted over the large speakers at the front of the room. Steve turned to Natasha, wanting to get away from the others, “may I have this dance?” He offered his hand to her and she obliged, taking his hand gingerly.
He escorted her to the middle of the room where a few other people stood dancing. Together, the two danced for what seemed like an eternity. He taught her a swing dance from the 40s and she was having blast, laughing at all her screw-ups. They seemed to dance the night away yet time seemed to leave them untouched. Around them life was normal, but they were in their own little bubble where normal rules don’t apply. By the end of the night, a slow song played and almost everyone had left or passed out.
Steve made the first move, placing his hands on her hips and she quickly followed, placing hers on his broad shoulders. He gently pulled her closer and she laid her head on his chest as they swayed in unison. The whole world seemed to fall away in little bits until everything was gone. It was just them, alone, with nothing to hold them back. No Fury, no Avengers. He stopped, moving his hands to her face and lifting her chin so their eyes locked. She never really noticed how blue his eyes were. That familiar sensation washed over her. The one that seemed to amplify all her sensations. The one that made the world a better place. Slowly, Steve leaned down and kissed her. They touched their foreheads together as he said, “I love you.”
Natasha seemed to snap back to reality like a rubber band. She replied, “no,” as she sharply pulled away from him. “I can’t do this. We can’t do this anymore.” Fearing his response, Natasha ran to the balcony to get away from him. Part of her hoped he wouldn’t follow, but then she knew he was persistent and always tried to get what he wants.
A hand gripped her shoulder, and she jumped. “Clint,” she remarked, “what are you doing here?” she seemed to forget that there were other people at that party than just her and Steve.
“I saw you run away just now. What happened?” he asked.
“Oh. You saw that?” she asked, becoming so embarrassed that she felt her face getting hotter and hotter.
“Well, yeah. You guys were only in the middle of the room for everyone to see. Are you guys together? Or was that a spur of the moment thing?” Clint questioned.
“It doesn’t matter. It’s over.” she sounded defeated.
Clint stayed with her out on the balcony until she finally felt ready to go back to Steve, but when she re-entered the room, he was gone. She was relieved. She shuffled over to Bruce and Tony with Clint. She felt dazed, as if she had just snapped out of a trance. Had she really just given up her world?
Without saying a word, she trudged back to her room. As she walked down the long corridor, the colors once again faded and she felt as though her mind was drifting away from her body. Arriving at her room, she opened the door and let herself in, closing it behind her. Suddenly, Steve appeared before her, his clothes looked messy as if he had been working out in them or something of the sort. “Steve?” she asked, trying to see his face in the dark room.
He said nothing. He just stood for a while. Then he finally asked, “do my feelings mean nothing to you? Did all those moments we shared mean nothing to you?” He began to shout, “DOES MY LOVE MEAN NOTHING TO YOU!”
“Steve. I care about you.” she tried to appeal to him as he slowly inched closer.
“Really? You could have fooled me. All that kindness I showed you. I opened up to you!” he was gritting his teeth in anger.
“I opened up to you too. You just don’t understand.” she said.
Without notice, Steve slammed her against the wall as he yelled, “THEN HELP ME TO UNDERSTAND!”
“I can’t,” she didn’t want to tell him her hidden feelings towards him. She knew he would just convince her to stay with him.
He clasped her arms against the wall, near to pushing her through it. “Have it your way then.” He said as she stared up in horror at him.
He was crazed with anger and jealousy and all these negative emotions that buried all the love he had for her. He raised his hand, and, in one smooth motion, brought it down to strike Natasha. She had no heart to fight him back. She wanted to let things take their course, regardless of what it might mean for her. “Steve, this isn’t you.” she tried to reason with him.
Steve said nothing to her. He moved his hand to her throat, raising her up as she struggled against his grip. She kicked the door, trying to get it to open, but to no avail. He wouldn’t let go, no matter what she said or tried to say.
A voice came from behind the door. “Nat?” It was Clint, coming to check on her after hearing the ruckus.
Steve was resolute, continuing to hold her up against the door. She tried to rip his hands off her neck, but he was too strong. The door flung open, sending Natasha to the ground and pushing Steve backwards. Clint stormed in. He noticed Natasha, trying to get up off the floor as Steve approached her once more. “Steve, stop!” she yelled. But he grabbed her once more, punching her in the face and sending her to the ground again.
Clint immediately took action, jumping on Steve to try to pull him to the ground. Steve toppled to the floor, letting out a groan of frustration. Clint held his fists up, ready to do anything to protect his best friend. Steve rose to his feet, landing a punch on Clint’s jaw. But Clint was not deterred as he returned the attack, striking fast in rapid succession. He never thought he could go toe-to-toe with Captain America but he seemed to gain immense strength now that he had Natasha to fight for. He kept blocking attacks and striking. The pattern repeated over and over until Steve fell onto one knee. Clint hoped the fight was over. Steve stood, spitting out some blood as he said, “I can do this all day,” in a deep voice, deeper and darker than usual. But Clint was quick to kick him in the head, knocking him out cold.
He turned to Natasha, who had curled up in the corner, covering her head with her hands. He ran over and crouched beside her, placing a hand gently on her shoulder. He shook her, trying to tell her that she was safe, but she wouldn’t budge. He sat beside her, pulling her into his embrace. She eventually accepted the hug, placing her head on his stomach and holding onto him tightly. “It’s okay,” he said as Natasha succumbed to her sadness, the tears flooding down her cheeks.