What you have done to me
The room was a mess. People were shouting over each other, restless in their seats and Tony tried to block them all out, focusing on Stephen’s hand on his shoulder touching him gently. These past days the Sorcerer Supreme was the only person who could do that without startling him and sending him into an endless spiral of panic attacks.
“Silence,” Fury called out for the second time, but now the word carried a signature of authority. Five people around the table looked at the director, their faces giving away various stages of denial and anger but not all of them for the same reason. Tony braced himself from what he felt were annoyed, disappointed glances sent his way since he’s set a foot in the room. He’d prepared for this day as best as he could.
“You can’t just push someone out of the team, because you don’t fuck with them anymore, Stark,” Clint hissed between his teeth. Tony didn’t look at him, but he squeezed Stephen’s hand when he realized the sorcerer was now on the edge with his patience and was ready to stand up and choke the life of the archer. Before he could say anything or better yet – jump into action – Fury cleared his throat loudly.
“I warn you, Barton, the first and the last time, you don’t speak to your teammate like this. Period.” The director was looking straight at the man, piercing through his very skull. “All what Mr. Stark did here was to offer me his resignation from the team, which I could accept or deny. If I denied there was another condition to go with. And that is having Mr. Rogers out of the team. It was my decision to make.”
“But why?” This time it was Natasha asking. “There has to be a good reason for this.”
“Oh, there is Miss Romanov, trust me,” Fury looked at Tony and there was something unrecognizable in his eyes for a second. “All I’m going to tell you is that Mr. Rogers physically attacked Mr. Stark and injured him. This is a kind of behavior which is unacceptable on the team.”
Tony could easily say they didn’t believe it. No one except Bruce and Stephen who knew for some time. Thor had an expression of doubt and that made Tony at least a little more at ease inside.
“As soon as I had the information and the evidence, I decided to meet with you and share my decision. Mr. Stark decided not to pull legal charges and I respect that. But Rogers can not stay with the team,” Fury finished his speech and Tony waited for the circus to start again, but everyone stayed quiet for a moment.
“What evidence?” Clint asked finally, looking at Fury and then at Tony, who ignored him. He had to for the sake of staying calm and collected.
“The one I analyzed and upon which I made my decision,” was all that Fury said and that was clearly not enough for neither Natasha or Clint.
“Can we see it?”
“No.”
Both pair of eyes narrowed and moved back to Tony. It was Clint again who decided to speak his mind.
“So they had a fight. That fucking happens. How did you manage to blow it like this, Stark? You wanted to break up with him to be with this…” he pointed at Stephen and in that moment Tony finally looked at the archer angrily, daring him to call Stephen some inappropriate name, “… with this wizard whoever he is, so be it, but forcing Steve out of the team and making up this story is too much even for you.”
Tony opened his mouth, unable to be quiet anymore, but Stephen was the first who managed to spill the words out, making everyone look at him and him only.
“First, you stop talking to him like this. You were warned twice, and if you utter one more offend Tony’s way I portal you on the fucking North Pole. Second, you are not in the place to decide what will happen with the team. You have a director for that. So stop acting like a child, accept the decision which was made and save us your suggestions, please.”
Tony expected Fury to say something, but he didn’t even look Stephen’s way.
“It’s very hard to believe Captain would harm you, friend Tony, you have to forgive us.” Tony sent a small smile to the thunder god after he spoke up uncertainly from his spot.
“It’s okay, Point Break. It was hard for me to believe it too. But that is what happened. And just as I said to Stephen and Fury, it’s either him or me on the team.”
He heard Clint hum in disagreement.
“Easy to speak about the person who is not present.”
Fury took a deep loud breath to that. “Yes, he is not present because he can not legally get close to Mr. Stark here. I insisted.”
Something in Natasha’s face finally changed and she gazed at Tony in a whole different manner.
“What happened, Tony?” she asked this time carefully. “Are you sure that he did whatever he did in his right state of mind?”
Stephen next to him snorted coldly.
“No one in the right state of mind would do what he did, Miss Romanov.”
After that even Clint closed his mouth, thinking. A moment passed and he said dryly: “I still think we should see the evidence to make a right call here.”
Fury gave him a clear NO again, but Tony shook his head. It was a moment for him to decide. And somehow he’d counted with this option too no matter how he loathed it.
“Show them,” he said and he sensed both Stephen and Fury freeze. “Show them the damn video.”
“Stark,” Fury started hesitantly.
“No,” Tony didn’t let him finish, “they won’t believe until they see. So show them.”
Suddenly someone else coughed uncomfortably and Tony’s gaze flickered to Bruce who haven’t said a word until now.
“I was there. I mean… with Tony… after it happened. He’s telling the truth. Steve attacked him. I would probably have troubles to believe it too, but it happened. It’s real. And I don’t want Steve back.”
All of them could see how hard is Bruce trying to stay calm and that spoke volumes.
“Still, we have the right to see for ourselves. What is this video we are talking about?” Clint asked and this time Natasha didn’t side with him. She looked briefly at Tony and pursed her lips together.
“We don’t have to,” she whispered, barely audible.
“We clearly do,” Tony opposed her, gazing straight at Clint. He knew Stephen wanted to make him drop it as well, but he stayed silent by his side and for that Tony was thankful.
“If you are really going to watch it, I have to go. I’m not sure if the other guy could stand down the second time.”
Tony only nodded and Bruce sent him a wavering smile and a quiet sorry. Then he promptly left the room.
“Tony,” Stephen called softly, taking his hand in his under the table.
“I know,” he answered, but stared at Fury the whole time. “Play it, JARVIS. Only the last one.”
OOO
Stephen filled his lungs with much needed air before his eyes moved towards the screen. He already knew what he would see. Tony had told him after all. One night after his nightmare. When he’d felt weak and would probably blame it later on that. But he never let him see the videos. He couldn’t imagine what it meant for him to show them all now.
“Stark, you don’t have to do this,” Fury let him know one last time, but the screen already flickered into life and Tony didn’t indicate any desire to stop it. Stephen let linger their hands together, offering his presence as a source of at least some comfort.
A second late another Tony appeared on the screen in front of them. There was no date visible, but from the darkness around, it was obviously night, and the place was Tony’s room in the tower. The one, which he used to share with that bastard just alongside everything else in billionaire’s possession. Involuntary Stephen had to take a look on the people in the room, most of them living on Tony’s expanse.
The engineer’s voice brought him back to what was happening in front of them.
“This must stop, Steve,” Tony said, and the captain closed the door behind them tugging at the collar of his T-shirt nervously. He seemed frustrated and angry, and… drunk. But it is only after his first words that Clint and Natasha looked back at Tony with a question. Steve shouldn’t be able to get drunk, so how? But no one dared to interject. Their eyes returned back to the recording.
“You have to stop drinking that shit because it messes with your head. You see things which are not happening, and I can’t go on like this anymore.”
Tony in the video loosened his jacket and let it fall over the chair, moving to the small nightstand next to the bed, probably to take out his phone and iron man bracelets, his only means of self-defense. Because he still trusted that man.
“I saw how they were looking at you,” Rogers said, his words merging together. He stayed on his spot next to the door gazing at Tony’s back.
“What does it have to do with me?” the engineer replied back, not amused.
“Everything,” Rogers said and made a step forward, on which sound Tony turned to face him.
“What are you doing?” he asked when he had to realize what Roger’s intentions were, but somehow didn’t quite believe it.
“I want to enjoy the rest of the night with my partner without you backing away and barricading yourself in that damn workshop of yours for once.”
He came close, standing right in front of Tony, who for a moment didn’t say anything. Then he turned his face slightly to the right side and opened his mouth. “This is your doing. I bet you don’t remember, but I told you and you know it now. Do you really expect me to just forget so easily? Do you think that a one ruined date would result into you ending up in my bed again?”
Stephen held his breath imagining the bruise on the side of Tony’s cheek he couldn’t see but knew was there. He had to fight the urge to find Steve Rogers right in the moment. Instead he sideways looked at Tony and checked how he was doing. He couldn’t read his expression though.
“Always a way out,” Rogers in the video said with a tone, which would disturb anyone who knew him. Stephen watched as the man tried to grab Tony and kiss him not respecting Tony’s wishes or even realizing that he clearly didn’t want to be anywhere near him, and Stephen’s own blood was boiling in his veins at that picture.
“Stop,” Tony said, trying to push him away, “Steve, let go!” When none of his attempts worked, Tony at least managed to free one of his hands. An iron man gauntlet started to form around his hand from his watch.
As soon as the other man realized what was happening, he caught Tony’s hand in his. He squeezed hard enough for Tony to let out a cry of pain while falling down on his knees, desperately trying to pry Roger’s fingers away from his injured hand.
Tony called out Steve’s name and it was horrible to watch no reaction in return.
Finally, he let Tony go after what seemed like a flash of recognition on his face and the engineer slumped even further to the ground, holding his injured wrist.
Now back in the room there was a deadly silence. Stephen was still holding Tony’s hand and tried his best to hold his emotions down for his sake, but the rest of them didn’t need to and their faces displayed perfectly what was going on in their heads. It all cumulated into one collective expression: pure and utter shock.
“Tony,” Steve in the video mumbled and it almost sounded gentle, which only made Stephen more sick.
The Captain sank to the floor next to Tony and ignored his startled attempt to get away from him. He grabbed Tony again. Now it looked like he only wanted to hold him in place, but the engineer wouldn’t let him. He reminded Stephen of a deer in the headlights. The doctor inside of him recognized the symptoms of panic and shock.
“I won’t hurt you,” Steve tried to assure him, but all Tony did was to try his best to crawl away and get on his feet. It couldn’t work out, not when a supersoldier caught his feet and yanked him back to himself, actually pulling him under his body to pin him against the floor.
In present someone in the room gasped. And then the real fight began.
Tony started to trash and yell at Steve to let him go, using his adrenaline to pump the needed strength to his muscles and for a moment it looked like he could free himself and flee. But the fact was that Rogers was superior in the raw fight and without the suit Tony wasn’t protected from his hard handling. When he slammed with Tony’s shoulders to the ground for a second time, a horrible sound was produced by Tony’s head meeting the floor and the engineer’s hands suddenly stopped their attempt to hurt Steve’s face above him and slowly fell at his own chest.
Tony groaned, a pain and disorientation evident in his voice. Possible concussion left him almost unresponsive when Steve touched his cheek and caressed it. Both of them - Tony on the screen and Tony by his side - closed their eyes in the same moment and Stephen squeezed his hand a bit to let Tony know he was right there if he needed to stop this.
“Sta… Tony,” Stephen’s head snapped Barton’s way, “that’s enough,” he said. Something like quilt playing in his voice. Tony didn’t open his eyes, just his mouth probably to breathe more easily, and he shook his head.
Their eyes unwillingly returned back to the video.
Right there Tony started to groan again moving slightly and Rogers got on his knees, taking both of his hands and pulling him into a sitting position. Stephen screamed in his head: no, you idiot, that wrist is sprained or broken. Tony’s head fell on that bastard’s shoulder. He could be as good as half-unconscious, but Rogers didn’t look like he was concerned about the fact. He picked Tony up and placed him on the bed to sit. Only Tony was really unconscious now and he just fell back on the bed lifeless and defenseless. Stephen swallowed.
He was in no state to fight before, but being knocked out gave a lot of options how the situation could proceed and he didn’t like any of them.
Rogers crawled on the bed next to him and Stephen’s whole body tensed when he saw him kissing Tony lightly on his lips before he moved to his neck. He didn’t know about this. And the possible reason why Tony kept this part secret was giving him chills.
“Wake up, wake up, baby,” Rogers was whispering between the kisses. After a while Tony finally must have indeed woken up because the soft groaning was back. The confusion was back as well, because for a moment he did nothing, just stared at Rogers vulnerable, like he couldn’t remember what had happened and what he’d done to him just a moment ago. But then it all had to come rushing back to his head and a slow, clumsy attempt was made to turn on his stomach and get away.
Rogers reacted immediately, using his weight again to pin Tony down with his hands on the engineer’s back, placing his mouth into Tony’s messy hair while the engineer groaned in protest. Stephen was now gripping the edge of the table.
For few more minutes nothing was happening. Tony was just laying down, unable to move or try in the first place, his eyes closed and Rogers over him continued to touch him both with his mouth and with his hands. Tony’s voice became so weak that Stephen almost didn’t catch it when he spoke up. “JA… JARVIS, help… me.”
For whatever reason the AI was not intervening before, now he clearly had a command to work with and an alarmed voice replied back to Tony and Rogers at the same time. “Hold on sir, activating the protocol 4A4DD, Mr. Banner was woken up and is on his way.”
“What?” Rogers gasped, in shock, then in anger. He took Tony by his hips and turned him violently back to have him face to face.
“Call it off,” he said serious, commanding.
“No,” Tony moaned still dizzy and unfocused. “Go… away…”
“Tony, please, you know I love you.” Rogers suddenly sounded alarmed, but at the same time he seemed to be more himself than before. He tried to kiss Tony again, but the man pushed him away, that only seemed to encourage him more. The panic had to rise to its maximum when Rogers reached under Tony’s t-shirt to his arc-reactor. The action provoked Tony to finally snap of the daze and he managed to actually land a punch at Roger’s jaw. He used the given time to turn back on his stomach, crawling away on the other side of the bed, but just as before, Rogers yanked him back by his feet, not giving up.
“Is it because of him? I knew you were a slut, Tony. But I thought you could change for me.”
“Fuck, Steve,” someone in the room called out horrified and Stephen didn’t make an effort to find out who. His eyes were pinned to the screen, his heart racing in his chest.
“But I will forgive you. All I want is to feel you again. Is that too much to ask?”
Rogers spat the words while constantly fighting with Tony. He managed to get him in the position with Tony’s knees on the ground leaning over the bed with his hands clutched in Roger’s grip. That was the exact moment when Bruce busted into the door. He froze on the spot, taking in what he was seeing. Roger's eyes were on the doctor and his hand on the hem of Tony’s pants in the obvious attempt to pull them down, now unmoving.
“Steve.” Bruce’s voice was filled with something primally dangerous. “Get off him. Now.”
“Bruce,” Rogers started, but the doctor didn’t let him finish.
“No. Stop it now. Get the fuck out or I let the other guy handle you. This is the last straw. I won’t let you near him again. Now. Get. Out.”
Stephen was still unable to focus properly on what was happening around him, but more gasps were heard and in his peripheral vision he could see Romanov with her hand over her mouth, but he couldn’t care less in the moment.
His eyes darted towards the man next to him, who was trying to disappear while embracing himself with a hand Stephen wasn’t holding. He recognized a starting panic attack as soon as he noticed Tony’s labored breathing. He began to instruct him silently in a low voice:
“Tony, 4 seconds in, 4 seconds out, get your head between your knees.” The engineer obeyed without any resistance.
“Stop it for god’s sake,” Clint suddenly urged Fury, “or I’ll do it myself.”
Stephen lifted his head just in time to see Tony slumped against the wall near the bathroom, Rogers gone, Bruce hugging his shivering form. The same shivering form Stephen had now before his own eyes. It took him only two seconds to come up with a plan. He stood up, freeing his hand gently. Conjuring a portal was nothing difficult even in the state of a mind he was currently in.
“Come on, Tony, get up. I’ll take you to the Sanctum.”
Sanctum, where Tony, according to his own words, felt safe. He helped him to his feet. No one else tried to stop them and no one dared to say anything, but he could feel the tension around like a physical field.
Stephen observed the room one last time before he closed the portal. The horrified faces stayed imprinted in his mind even after he turned to Tony, who still couldn’t quite catch his breath and led him to the armchair near the fireplace.