Several Lifes

People make hundreds of decisions every day. According to psychologists, there are as many as 20,000. Some of them are conscious, but most of them happen without us thinking about them. The daily morning routine is questioned just as little as the obligation to go to work or how we get there. But what happens when we are given a conscious choice? When we have to decide between pleasure or loyalty? Is there a boundary that we do not cross? And who or what defines it? Is it possible to make one without emotions? Or is it only the communication between the prefrontal cortex and the hippocampus that decides? What if everything plays an important role? When everything merges and complements each other? And if the soul is immortal in nature, how much does it and past lives influence our choices?

November 25, 2149

Lexa was still traveling and the week was already drawing to a close. Clarke had therefore used the past few days to expand her skills. Which ultimately led to her picking up a needle and thread anyway. Dexterous fingers weren't just important for clothing, so perhaps she could use her new skills to treat a wound one day. Who knew where her path would take her and whether she would have to sew herself one day. The world was a harsh place full of dangers and she knew from her own experience that not everyone was well-disposed towards her. So far, she had always managed to save herself without any major injuries, although she wasn't sure whether it was actually skill or luck that had saved her. But although she felt comfortable in her new surroundings, she decided it was time to try something new. So she said goodbye to her new friends the night before, with the possibility of returning and with a good feeling in her heart when she thought back to the last few days.

At around 5 o'clock the next morning, she made her way to the open-plan kitchen, which was under Raven's management. The young Latina was known for her high standards and perfectionism. Her right-hand man, Bellamy, was a well-known womanizer in Polis who left no stone unturned with the ladies and had already broken many a heart, that much Clarke had already learned. Nevertheless, the blonde wanted to try her luck and when she finally stepped through the door, several pairs of eyes looked at her in surprise, as if she had grown wings or even a second pair of arms overnight. She raised her left hand somewhat uncertainly in greeting. "Good morning."

The chef approached her, stood with her legs apart in front of her and put her hands on her hips before looking her up and down. "Morning. What can we do for you?"

The blonde was about to answer when a dark-haired woman she knew pushed her way through those present. "What Raven meant to say in her charming way was: Good morning, Clarke. Do you have a wish or do you need something? She certainly didn't mean to be unkind to Heda's personal guest." The blonde smiled apologetically at her. "Imagine that, a chef who isn't a morning person, stuff happens..." Octavia gave Raven a clear and warning look, as if it was a distinct possibility that Clarke would punish her for her behavior. But nothing of the sort was on her mind or actually within her capabilities. She was just a guest with limited rights of residence and that was all she was. At least that was how the blonde felt about her role.

"Exactly." The Latina cleared her throat. "Good morning, Clarke. What can we do for you?"

"I just wanted to see if there was any chance I could help you? I'd like to learn what a day in the kitchen is like." She tried to smile, but all she got was a skeptical look and an attempt to get rid of her. "Do you know how to cook? Our days are long and start before most people even wake up and end when others are already asleep." Octavia looked nervously back and forth between the two women.

"That sounds perfect and I'm a quick learner. I won't stand around uselessly or get in your way." Raven was about to shake her head when Octavia jabbed her elbow into her side. "It's all right, Bellamy and Octavia will show you around," the chef's voice sounded slightly pained, apparently the attack had hit its target.

She immediately joined the blonde, who gave her a smile. "Hello Octavia! What are you doing here?"

"To spontaneously lend my best friend Raven a hand and save my idiot brother from doing something stupid." Clarke laughed out loud, which only got louder when she saw the dark-haired girl slapping Bellamy on the shoulder while he looked at her, stunned.

"Is that any way to greet your big brother? At least the pain is softened by the beautiful new companion." The tall man with the dark brown eyes, the black wispy hair and the mischievous grin presented Clarke with his dimples, which had previously had an effect on every other woman. The blonde, on the other hand, did not respond. All she wanted was to learn as much as possible and get a change of pace so she didn't have to think about Lexa and the cold that could easily put the brunette in a life-threatening situation. She still hadn't fully recovered and they didn't have a healer with them. What would happen if the fever came back or she was injured? The land Nia ruled knew no mercy, only survivors or the weak dead. Clarke felt the fear rising in her and tried to push it back with all her might. Together with the new impressions and the many instructions, she finally succeeded with difficulty.

"So Clarke, why cooking of all things?" Bellamy tried to start a conversation that didn't end in a monologue about everyday life in the kitchen.

"I've spent a lot of time in Polis and the tower since Heda's absence, which has aroused my curiosity to get to know its inhabitants as well. I want to experience as much as I can and learn new skills while I'm here." She concealed the fact that she wanted to learn these skills in order to survive more easily. Nevertheless, he understood what her words meant. "You're not staying here?" The young man looked at her in surprise.

"I'm a temporary guest, my hours here are limited. I don't know how long I can stay here. That is up to our heda to decide. But I can't claim her good nature in the long term." The thought alone had been painful, but saying it out loud and accepting the anxiety that came with it felt worse than the injury she'd almost succumbed to.

"She would be foolish to let you go or even send you away. I would even call it stupid." His words infuriated the blonde. How dared he talk about her like that? "Only talk about things you understand, and those are by no means the decisions of your commander!"

The young man raised his hands defensively. "I didn't want to anger you, I just wanted to express that I couldn't understand such an action. It was not my intention to speak against her. Heda brought us the long-awaited peace, only a fool would say otherwise."

She nodded and turned her attention back to the dough in front of her. Her hair and clothes were covered in flour. Lexa would have laughed at her appearance and probably felt even more attracted to her. At least that's what happened to Bellamy, who not only tried to establish contact over the next few days, but to intensify it. Whether it was to explain something to her that any beginner could have done and didn't need the chef's right hand, or to engage her in a conversation that she wanted to avoid. He kept trying to chat her up, but this failed to have the desired effect. This was not only because the blonde saw an hourglass in front of her, which was filling up a little with each passing day, but also due to a lack of interest. Just having fun would be easy, especially with someone like Bellamy, but she wasn't looking for something casual. She wanted something of substance, something that went deeper than her mind. Now that she had experienced it, how could she strive for anything else? Clarke would see it as a betrayal, to herself, but especially to Lexa. She longed for that bond that had been given to her and taken away in the same breath. As if she wasn't worthy of it, no matter how hard she tried.

Octavia watched her brother's behavior with growing suspicion, but only felt compelled to intervene when he asked Clarke to spend private time with him and placed his hand on hers. The dark-haired woman saw the surprise and overwhelm in the blue eyes of her counterpart. "Clarke... I'm sorry. I'm asking you to ignore my world-weary brother's offer." She grabbed him by the arm and pulled him into an undisturbed corner. "Are you in your right mind? Heda will chop off your hand if she sees this." She glared at him angrily. She didn't even try to hide her anger. Which, despite her small and petite frame, made her look terrifying.

Bellamy, on the other hand, seemed unconcerned. "Who's going to tell her? Besides, Clarke is old enough to make her own decisions. So why are you interfering?"

"Just because I don't want my brother to lose his hand doesn't mean I'm interfering, but please, do what you want. But remember, they don't just spend private time together, no, Clarke even lives near our commander." She tried to use logic to knock some sense into him, but he seemed immune to it.

"Room to room?" was all he cared about in the end.

"Listen, you madman, her opposite is just as bad. You risk torture for an approach!" Octavia gesticulated more and more angrily, and if it weren't too obvious, she would scream.

But Bellamy was a womanizer who indulged in the good life and behaved according to his many love affairs. Carefree and full of curiosity as to what awaited him. "Not just for a try, if you know what I mean," he winked at his little sister, who rolled her eyes.

"You're tired of even thinking about it. Everyone has limits, even you." She wouldn't stop trying to prove him wrong. She would never be able to live with the guilt of having stood idly by while her brother turned the most powerful of all commanders against himself. Was his life no longer worth anything to him or was he trying to prove something to himself?

"I do know her, but that doesn't mean I have to accept her." It was foolish, especially as Clarke obviously had no interest in him. But many a friendship had turned into love, or at least a love affair, and he was counting on the latter.

***

The Lake People, also known as Podakru, received the commander and her followers much more warmly than the Azgeda and Lexa decided to rest for a few hours after the exertions she had just endured. The sun wasn't even at its zenith yet and their next stop, and therefore also their place to sleep, was less than five hours away.

"Heda," Narius greeted them with a deep bow. "I am pleased to see you here. What a pleasant surprise." The leader of the Podakru was a tall, lean man with intelligent eyes who could not be underestimated. He was a friend, just as he could be an enemy in the next second. His goal was always to preserve his clan and his power. When necessary, he schemed and manipulated. But as long as he didn't feel threatened, he was a pleasant companion and conversation partner.

"Narius, it's been a few moons since our last meeting. I hope you've been well?" In her role as commander, she traveled to the individual clans as regularly as possible, sometimes staying for several weeks depending on the urgency. The aim was to strengthen the alliances that had been forged and the coalition as a whole. Nevertheless, everything remained fragile, which often had to do with past feuds or fears that were stirred up.

"Oh, you know how it is. Some things can't be planned, so we had to be inventive in what we did. There was a big fire just before the onset of winter, but we quickly got it under control." The older man shrugged it off, but Lexa still noticed his displeasure at what had happened. "Was it a coincidence or was it intentional?"

"Maybe a bit of both, but since nothing of value was destroyed, we let the matter rest." The brunette suspected that the man had a suspicion, but didn't want to mess with the person in question. So she left it at that and didn't mention it. Even as commander, she didn't have to get involved in all the affairs of her people. "I'm glad no one was harmed."

The man in front of her nodded. "Different from TonDC. The many dead..." He shook his head regretfully, but from the look on his face, it was more a phrase than actual grief.

"It was and still is a tragedy that must not be repeated." She crossed her arms behind her back and hid her anger, which would not be useful at this point.

"And what do you intend to do about it?" The question was more than it seemed, an indirect accusation, as if she could have prevented the massacre if only she had wanted to.

Lexa, however, was not deterred. "Now that the dead have found peace in the fire, it's time to bring those responsible before the council and make them pay for their crimes."

"Rumor has it that Azgeda was part of it, as was a young lady with blonde hair." The mention of Clarke rattled her far more than any feint that was to come and so she had to stop herself from clearing her throat treacherously before answering. "All details will be revealed at the right time. Jumping to conclusions risks creating enmity within the coalition and, like rumors, has the ability to stir up hatred. Be it justified or not."

Narius nodded again. "I think I understand what you are saying, and rest assured that I am not part of it. Time will bring the truth to light."

"As it should be." Believing his words would have made her a fool and she had learned from past mistakes.

"Let me take you to the others, I'm sure they're waiting for you and you're certainly hungry after today's exertions. Your horses have already been looked after and are in the stables." He let his commander go first and together they walked towards a hut in the middle of the village square, which seemed deserted except for a burning light on the outside. After the death of one of her comrades, her guards were unusually quiet. Normally she could already hear their laughter outside, but now there was an almost ghostly silence. No wind hissed through the air, no dog barked and apart from their footsteps on the snow, nothing could be heard. It felt like the calm before the storm. She knew that this was just the beginning. The only question was what of.

When they entered, everyone present looked at their Heda. The room was filled with grief, even if it was said among Grounders that the dead were not mourned until after the war. Only they had not gone to battle, they had gone to bring peace. Lexa knew that her presence was now required, as were words that said what everyone was thinking, and as if there had been a sign, everyone who hadn't ridden with her left the premises, even Narius.

The brunette stood in front of the men and women present and looked each of them firmly in the eye before she began to speak. "Today has claimed another victim that should not have, like too many before it, and without the courage to do something, many more will follow." She left what she had said for a moment so that it could take effect. "We must not look back, we must do everything we can to ensure that this never happens again. Our goal is to strengthen the coalition and thus strengthen us all! We will not be intimidated! Ilian's opera will not have been in vain!" Cheers erupted and an almost satisfied expression appeared on her face before she was handed a cup, which she emptied in one gulp. "And that's where we start today! Enough of waiting! We leave in an hour."

They arrived in Delphikru territory in the early evening. Lexa was offered an arm, which she accepted, and a smile almost flitted across her face. Cassandra stood before her. They had once been companions before she became the leader of her clan. She wore her dark brown hair, which was fading into a reddish tone, tied in a plait. She was only a few years older than the Commander and could captivate a room with her smile. The young woman had always been an ally, with a strong will and a kind disposition. "I am pleased to see you, even if the occasion is only partly a pleasant one. Thank you for accepting my request."

"It is also important to me that your dispute is settled," Lexa said modestly, although she had more far-reaching reasons for her appearance.

The young woman nodded. "Azgeda, isn't it?" The brunette remained silent, but no answer was needed. Everyone knew. Narius had hinted at it and Cassandra confirmed it. "Even if you remain silent, I know the answer. It was always Nia who sought power without ever having a conscience. But I assume you have a plan. You always have." The taller woman looked lovingly at her commander. She had never allowed herself to pursue these feelings for her, too much separated them. Among other things, the certainty that Lexa did not, could not, return her affection in the same way. Even if there were rumors about her and a blonde woman, Cassandra didn't believe them to be true. How could she? "I don't suppose you'll let me in on your plan?"

The brunette sighed. "I could answer you, as I did with Narius, but the time is drawing near and you have always been a strong ally."

"And I will continue to be. I have your back." She would never betray her Heda's trust, which was not entirely due to her feelings.

Lexa looked around and then shook her head. "Not here."

The older woman nodded. "Follow me." She led the way and the brunette followed her into her private chambers. "It's by no means the most suitable place, but here we remain undisturbed from prying eyes and ears."

"It's as good as any." Cassandra offered Lexa a chair, but she preferred to stand. "It won't take long anyway." The commander straightened up and crossed her arms behind her back. "You've already mentioned it. Nia is striving for power and is becoming increasingly ruthless in her quest. To kill Clarke, she razed an entire village to the ground. She knows no boundaries due to the lack of consequences. However, as Commander, it is my job to ensure equality. Therefore, I will prosecute her, but I need the support of the Coalition to do so. Nia knows about her force and uses it strategically to intimidate the individual clans. This makes it all the more important to act as one. The first direct threat has already been made and it cost Ilian his life." Green eyes searched the pale gray ones of her counterpart.

"You must return, but you can only do so once the peace treaty has been signed. It strengthens your position." The brunette nodded. "The negotiations did not fail on our part," Cassandra clarified.

"I'm well aware of that, but it doesn't change the problem. Every minute that passes plays into Nia's hands and deprives me of the opportunity to get ahead of her, and after her attack, I'm sure she knows far more than we realize." Lexa still stood in front of the other woman with her arms crossed behind her back.

"How can I help?" Cassandra straightened up and looked the brunette firmly in the eye.

"Making sure these negotiations are successful. That is the primary concern." Among countless others, all of which she would have to work through in due course. Always at risk of making the wrong decision.

"It's not just my responsibility to make compromises," Cassandra insisted, which Lexa could certainly understand.

"Believe me, I will make sure that Pétros shows understanding, even if I have to force him." Concern for her people should come first, but that was not the case. It was for Clarke, which was the real reason why the blonde was not supposed to accompany her, but her thoughts were always with the young woman. Perhaps it had been a mistake and she should have accompanied her, but as soon as Lexa thought of the attack in which Ilian had lost his life, she was glad she hadn't taken any risks. Even if it brought out a loneliness in her that she had thought she had left behind and which now threatened to engulf her. Years of training seemed to be losing their effect around Clarke. The corners of her mouth twisted for a fraction of a second, but it was enough for Cassandra to notice. "What gives you such pleasure?"

Her voice in Lexa's ear was enough to make her remember where she was and the impenetrable mask of the commander appeared on her face. An ally could quickly become a source of information in the hands of an enemy and meant a risk she wasn't willing to take. "I was thinking of Polis," and what awaits, "I'm used to traveling, but nothing can compare to this." Cassandra knew this was not the truth, or at least not all of it, and she wondered why the Commander was avoiding such an immortal question. Was there some truth to the rumors after all? Was it possible that she had turned her back on part of her teachings?

"I understand too well, nothing beats home," which she would have traded in a heartbeat for a chance to stay by Lexa's side.

"Tomorrow will be a long day, we should take our rest while it lasts," the brunette wanted to say goodbye, but Cassandra saw her chance. "You don't have to go, the night is young and full of unfulfilled wishes and desires." The offer was palpable in the air and didn't need the extra prompting, yet the taller woman pointed to her bed.

Lexa hesitated, but not because she was toying with the idea of saying yes, it was primarily about saying no as politely as possible. "I know there was a time when we shared a bed on cold nights, but that was a long time ago." And this is neither the time nor the day for it. But that day would never come anyway. It would feel wrong, like she was cheating on Clarke. No matter what they were, she would never hurt her. Even though she wasn't even sure if that would be the case. Cassandra, on the other hand, saw her suspicions confirmed, but not yet confirmed. She was sure that she would know for sure as soon as she saw them together. Even if she didn't know what to do with the confirmation. It could be a new beginning as well as an end. "Perhaps there is far more to your life than you are willing to share with me. You owe me nothing, ultimately not even an explanation. I, on the other hand, owe you an apology for my audacity. You are right, the years went by without me realizing it. It felt like the blink of an eye. We are not the same as when we were young, our responsibilities weigh heavily and we should recognize them as such instead of chasing such fleeting moments."

"You don't owe me anything. We only live a life that cannot be matched in its diversity. Often what we think we desire is nothing more than a utopia that has nothing in common with reality." With these words, Lexa turned and walked to the door, but before she opened it, she looked back one last time. "Good night, Cassandra."

"Reshop, Heda." After that, the two women were alone. One full of shame and the other full of longing.

"Only those who know and understand history know not to repeat it." Titus had taught her. "Ignorance exacts its price to a similar degree as arrogance intends to do. Learn from the mistakes of your predecessors, as your successors will from yours." Lexa couldn't explain why these words came to her mind now of all times when she thought of Clarke. Nevertheless, she was sure that they were important. For both of them. Maybe not today, but in the near future. Tired, she finally sank onto her bed and allowed her tiredness and exhaustion to take over for a moment, while she felt as if she was going round in circles with the same topics over and over again. Without getting any closer to a solution, the riddle of which she didn't even know. It was frustrating and at that moment she wanted nothing more than to find peace in her sleep. She was sure that if Clarke had been by her side, she would have forced her to do so. But as it was, several more hours would pass before she found peace.

After all, her sleep was restless, plagued by nightmares that would haunt her during the day.

Lexa found herself in a time that must have been a long time ago, but which she still remembered. At least fragmentarily, and she was convinced that she urgently needed to fill in the gaps. Perhaps the answer to all her questions lay here. Perhaps even a solution.

But just then she saw herself opening a door and Clarke standing in front of it. She was holding what looked like lasagna in her hands and when their fingers touched, Lexa felt a lightning bolt run through her body. The attraction was almost palpable, yet they both fled from it, even though they would ultimately not be able to escape the feelings it triggered. Deep inside her, she felt a fear that she did not know, that was not hers, and yet in the same breath it was. She couldn't explain where this feeling came from. At the same time, she was afraid of the consequences and the inevitable repercussions.

Time passed and she watched the events unfold in rapid succession, only stopping when lips met and a prophecy began to be fulfilled. Its actual unfolding, however, was to take several more years.

The next thing that followed was a sequence of the same scene, the words varied, but the outcome was always the same, it began and ended with a look of sadness in blue eyes. Because Lexa had rejected Clarke, again.

But how much could love endure? And how could the blonde endure this perpetual pain when it was already taking the brunette's breath away from her perspective?

"I just want to love you the way you deserve. How can that be reprehensible and against nature when God created us in his image? How can we not be each other's equals?" The blonde shook her head and Lexa wanted to agree with her, but the dream version of herself was in control. "It's not up to us to decide. Life needs order, a normality that this reality offers us. How can we escape what is predetermined for us?"

"Because I didn't choose this reality myself, it was forced upon me. I can no longer stand silently by, nodding and pretending to agree with all the events that imprison me while trying to convince myself that this is freedom. It's cheating." The blonde's voice had a firm tone to it, she believed in what she was saying and stood up for it too.

"It gives us security and a chance to see each other." She saw Clarke's beautiful face collapse. They had this form of argument many times and it got them nowhere in the end. The brunette reached for her hand and held it tightly, wanting to maintain the connection she hoped to preserve. "All our arguments are similar, to no avail. At least that's how it feels to me." She sighed audibly. "I know it's not ideal, that it always feels like a failure, and yet here we are. Knowing the feelings we have for each other. It's not much, but it's still a start that I'm not sure we can expect more of. We can't just leave, escape, not when our duties have taught us otherwise. You don't always have a choice."

"Not always and never is a big difference. It's frustrating not to make progress when everything, even yourself, seems to stagnate." Tears streamed down Clarke's face, which she wiped away with a hasty movement.

"I can't change time or who we are. And we don't have the options to do it differently. So what do you expect from me?" But the blonde remained silent. The argument, which had just taken a conciliatory turn, wanted to start all over again. "I can't turn my life upside down and leave Roan if I want nothing more than to become a mother."

Another leap in time followed, accompanied by great loneliness, as if a part of Lexa's soul was missing and with it a part of herself. The monotony had caught up with her. The longing for Clarke alternated with the uncertainty of her disappearance. Fear was her constant companion until it almost became death. The pale, sunken skin, Roan's hand holding hers and occasionally stroking her hair. Tears that made their way out ran down his three-day beard. While the brunette lay exhausted in a hospital room, Nia stepped next to her bed. "She can't even give you a child. I've always told you that you could have found someone better."

"That's enough, mother! She has only just fought for her life and you think you can pass judgment? My love is for her. You know that we both wanted a child, so she has lost far more than I have. And here you are, blaming her for all this. Leave and don't come back until you really have her best interests at heart." The husband and son had never spoken to his mother like this before, but he would not allow her to defame his wife.

Lexa closed her eyes briefly, unable to bear the grief and pain any longer, fleeing into reality, which had too few hours in store for her and the next night was near.

It took the Commander a few moments to understand what she had seen and even longer to process it. All her sensations were real, familiar and strange in equal measure. But where did her life begin and the dream of just now end? Was there even a difference or was she just trying to tell herself that in order to cope better with what she had experienced?

She was still lying in her bed, the wind found every little crevice in her shelter and the floor creaked. She knew where she was, she just questioned who she was. "It's not always easy to distinguish between dreams and reality. Sometimes I'm not sure whether they don't contain messages that want to tell us something important, maybe even warn us." Nyko had said to her when she had told him about her dream and the deaths she and Clarke had found in it. She didn't leave out the torture she had witnessed.

What would he say to this dream? Would he take it as a warning or even as advice? The brunette had seen Clarke suffer so many times, rejected, and yet the blonde had always been full of hope for a happy ending that hadn't come in the end. She wanted to spare her further torment, especially at Nia's hands, at all costs, even if she had to pay for it herself instead.

 ***

"So, what do you say Clarke, let's pack up some of the food and head outside? I know a nice clearing where you can watch the stars undisturbed. I could also bring a blanket, maybe some wine..." Bellamy had stepped up to Clarke's table, though workspace seemed far more appropriate, and leaned towards her as she cleaned and set everything ready for the next day. She faltered at his question, however, and looked at him scrutinizingly. He grinned mischievously, as always, and she knew his ulterior motives were not far away.

"Listen, Bellamy. You've asked me that question countless times over the last few days and I've answered no to every single one. And none, and I mean none, have sounded as unfair as this one. I have no intention of meeting with you in this way and if it continues like this, it won't be any other way. I would find it much more pleasant to continue working with you without further invitations like this. In any case, the answer will always be the same." Despite her clear statement, he tried to bridge the distance between them.

"If you are afraid of her reaction, you have nothing to fear, I am very secretive." She backed away from his approach, but made sure he didn't block her escape route.

"She's the last person I need to be afraid of and your statement proves how little you know her. Nevertheless, this has nothing to do with her between us." Yes, it did, actually. It was just none of his business. Clarke shook his head more out of incomprehension than for any other reason.

"Then what's the reason for your rejection?" He shifted his weight back a little, onto his left foot. Instantly, Clarke felt more comfortable and far less pressured, even though she knew she would be able to defend herself. Even Ryder was only a shout away and wouldn't hesitate to teach him a lesson. How Lexa would react to such a message, however, was anyone's guess.

"Call it disinterest in such activities with you." It was her attempt to make it even clearer to him, but some people only believed what they wanted to believe.

"Although I don't entirely believe you, I don't want to anger our commander's toy, I really will end up losing one of my limbs, I can do without that and the ladies certainly can. Maybe one day you'll change your mind." She suspected that he wouldn't give up just like that. That wasn't his style.

***

The next morning started early and the night with its formative dreams seemed too short for processing and possible recovery. But there was no rest for the commander, there was still too much to do that demanded her attention. So she got up, washed herself and changed into her uniform. Gustus was already waiting for her outside her room. He had a stoic expression on his face and seemed ready for anything. He inclined his head in greeting, which the brunette returned before they made their way to the boardroom.

Lexa didn't have to make an effort to make a grand entrance. Her charisma took over every room, earning her respect and a natural authority that no one could resist. Even if they tried with every fiber of their being. Pétros was only a few centimetres taller than Lexa and rather gaunt in stature. His pride, on the other hand, far surpassed them all. "The great commander has come to help us with our problem, even though she can't even solve her own." Gustus stepped forward, one hand on his sword, ready to ram it into the heart of his counterpart with a single gesture from Hedas. But she shook her head barely perceptibly to stop him. "Let's face it, this coalition has failed, or at least with you as commander. Perhaps it would be better if you handed over your post to the next one." His dark eyes seemed almost black as he glared at her in a vain attempt to intimidate her.

Heda, on the other hand, stood in front of the man, no fear apparent. His small size didn't matter at all. "That's enough. Your accusations were made out of anger and have no meaning."

The man now straightened up to his full height and once again tried to intimidate the young woman in front of him. "No meaning at all?! The Ice Queen threatens our villages, slaughters peaceful inhabitants and you stand here and do nothing! Are we all replaceable to you? My people are starving and again you're just standing here without a solution, but you want to help us come to an agreement? You are not capable of that!"

"Enough!", Heda hissed, "Every sparing comes to an end and yours is way over the limit!" She straightened up and looked at him menacingly.

"What else do you do? You do nothing but stand here and make big speeches! You're a disgrace to all the commanders before you!" With a powerful kick, she knocked Pétros to the ground. "You're not worthy to stand against." With a nod in Gustu's direction, she gave him a task, but when he reached for his sword, she told him to leave it alone. It was not time to make more enemies or give the Ice Queen a strong ally.

So instead of his sword, her bodyguard used his fists and struck again and again. Blood flowed, but he didn't stop. He lashed out and didn't seem to tire. He would prefer far worse punishments, since the man had dared to speak out against the commander, but he himself would never violate one of her orders.

"Enough!" Instantly, the mountain of a man let go of his victim. Without her prompting, he would finish what he had started. "I will not tolerate such tactlessness a second time!" The others present nodded in surrender while the injured man was examined by a healer and then taken to the infirmary. "We will adjourn the meeting until his wounds have been treated. I expect solutions and compromises on both sides. I have no time for childishness and inappropriate rivalries. Nor do I have time for further accusations against me. I am here at your request so that the bloody clashes of recent times are not repeated."

"Sha, Heda," those present in the hall bowed and left in an orderly and almost silent manner. All except Gustus. "I notice the looks on your faces."

"Heda, you know that I don't question any of your decisions, but is now really the right time to discuss their peace agreement?" By now, the two were sitting opposite each other at the large table.

"You think I'm wasting time and that I should be preparing for the coming war." She didn't blame her long-time bodyguard and friend for bringing up the subject.

"I am thinking of your welfare. Nia knows of your plans or suspects something to that effect. What if all this is a trap to get you to leave Polis? No one knows her next steps. She could also be plotting while we are several days' ride away." It was only partly a question and the commander recognized what it was. Concern.

"I understand your concerns, but everything I do is for our protection and the safety of my people. We need our allies on our side more than ever. Even the doubters will join those who follow me. At least when it concerns the majority. And if I succeed in calming a feud that has been going on for so long, it will strengthen my claim to the position of Commander." She looked him firmly in the eye.

"The threats to your life increase with each passing day. I have been observing this development for some time now and I fear that Azgeda will soon use her trump cards to plot against you. We must be ready." He had been at her side since her appointment, and though he had frightened her at first, she had known for some time that she had nothing to fear from him.

"We will be when the time comes, but right now it would be foolish and hasty. If I take action against Nia, I need to be sure that the coalition will stand as one, otherwise there will be a war with an uncertain outcome." And a large number of casualties, for which she would be just as responsible as the Azgeda leader.

"I am on your side and will fight until my last breath." She knew he would do just that.

"And that is exactly what must be prevented. There's too much at stake for me to risk making a mistake." She saw Clarke's battered body in front of her, scarred by the torture she had experienced and the sword that had been plunged through her heart. She couldn't let that happen. "Tell the healer to hurry and the stables that we're leaving by nightfall."

"We?" He looked at her in surprise.

"The leaders will accompany us. I won't take no for an answer." They had wasted enough time and they had to make up for it. It might be a little too optimistic, but she had a goal that she wanted to achieve at all costs.

About thirty minutes later, a battered and bandaged Pétros sat in their midst and was far more cooperative than before. This was due both to the numerous bruises and to his wounded pride due to a lack of resistance on his part. Nevertheless, the commander had to remind him at times that this was a peace negotiation to settle territorial claims and not a battle for power. "Territories are assigned to the number of members and not to the size of the ego, Pétros."

The discussions dragged on before they were fruitful, yet the leader of the Boudalankru seemed only partially satisfied with the outcome and addressed his Heda with some demands. "I was quite prepared to make compromises today and so I hope that you will be too and meet my demands." His threatening undertone would have been more impressive had a loose tooth not fallen out of his mouth.

"You're lucky I'm considering your requests after your threat today and we're not lighting a fire for your final journey, so choose your words wisely before I forget myself. And this time, I will not give the task to Gustus, but will personally see to your end. A fall from the tower, on the other hand, would be far more pleasant." Pétros blanched, still hearing the ambassador's cry in his ears. He nodded immediately. "Then pack up your belongings and prepare to leave."