Several Lifes

Already in Plato's time the nature of the soul and its presumed fate after death was discussed. So what if it is indestructible and contains memories of past lives? Then its immortality would not only be a privilege, but also a burden that would make the soul heavier and more melancholic over the centuries. Whose ballast haunted them and manifested itself in the form of dreams. How else could it be explained that sometimes you dream of places and people you don't think you know, and yet it feels incredibly familiar? Real, as if you were not only present, but the seen was your own life? And why does this feeling remain after waking up?

October 21, 2149

When Lexa arrived in her private quarters after a long walk, she still had the feeling that she had almost been caught doing something forbidden. Although she had done nothing of the sort. The urge to talk about everything she had experienced grew, but apart from her mentor she had no close advisors and she knew Titus' opinion as soon as it was about the blonde, even without asking him for advice. He would be against it and deeply concerned. A compassionate commander, especially one with partnerships or a family that went beyond mere procreation or pleasure, was vulnerable, at risk of losing everything. Attachment to others meant dead, theirs as well as Heda's. More than that, it put his people at risk. First and foremost, a commander's duty was to his people. It was the first rule and the first she had learned.

Lexa was aware of all this, and yet... nothing she did felt wrong, let alone like a betrayal of the values she had learned. Instead, there was a sense of freedom, as if she had freed herself from unconscious shackles and could breathe properly for the first time. Still confused, she went to sleep some time later. Thoughts circled until they became restless dreams about war, death, and a mysterious woman dying in various ways. It was frightening and felt more real than any previous dream, more real than some of the visions she had had of the former commanders. The terror she had suffered paralyzed her and forced her to follow every single moment. There was no escape, no breaking free, no telling herself it was just a dream. She knew that the last point would not be true and she would have to endure everything. No matter how cruel it might seem.

The first thing she saw was herself and the stranger. They were standing close together, hand in hand, and tears were running down both their cheeks. It didn't seem to be grief, but redemption or even realization? Lexa wasn't sure about that. But the blonde seemed to be the answer to every question, even the unasked ones. The two women approached slowly, as if they wanted to savor the moment rather than destroy it, to preserve the chosen bubble as long as they could. Their lips approached, the heart beating faster and the moment so longed for so close, but it can not, because just before their lips touched, suddenly bright lights were directed at them. She heard a squeal and felt a hard impact. After that, darkness reigned, she felt no pain, in fact, she felt nothing. However, this state did not last very long, certainly not enough to recover from what she had just seen. Instead, she was torn directly into the next scene. Like an all-consuming maelstrom that pressed on her chest.

The brunette whirled around, unable to breathe, up was down and down was up, there was nothing but water around her. Lexa reached around in panic, looking for someone and trying to grab a hand that wasn't her stranger's, she was convinced of that. Meanwhile, she tried to swim upwards at the same time, but her strength was failing. The lungs lost more and more the last bit of oxygen they still had and filled with water until Lexa finally lost consciousness. Her last thought, however, was not of her presumed companion, but of the blonde woman whose name she still did not know. Even in her dreams, she was tormented by the question of why she had been with someone else instead of the unknown woman who had taken over all her senses. It seemed incomprehensible to her, as if there was no world, no life, in which this would be possible.

Once again the darkness enveloped her and she felt a sorrow she had never known before. It took everything in its possession and left no room for anything else.

Lexa opened her eyes and suddenly found herself in her throne room. In front of her stood Nia, demanding the head of.... Clarke? But who was this? She had never heard this name before, but when the until then unknown woman entered the hall, Lexa understood who was meant. She looked at the blonde and everything in her screamed that this name was true, that it fit. While at the same time this thought repulsed her.

The brunette saw Nia and her followers being reluctantly taken away while the ambassadors of the other clans began to confer about the fate of all involved. The brunette did not learn the outcome, however, because the scene changed and she suddenly found herself in a dungeon. She did not know this place, so it could not be in Polis. But where then? She continued to look around and noticed that she was standing in the middle of a hallway. To her left and right were cells that left no room for fantasy. The floor was covered with blood and only straw, handcuffs were embedded in the walls and none of the cells had a window. Lexa knew the tactics, psychological intimidation. It was meant to break prisoners, drive them insane and incite fear that could never compete with the torture that followed, for it was merely a taste of hell.

Lexa crept cautiously down the hallway, listening for every sound, shadow and movement, until suddenly she stopped abruptly. Nothing could have prepared her for the image that now followed. Clarke stood almost naked against a wall, her hands cuffed above her head and blood dripping from the handcuffs. Everything seemed so real, even the wound that had been inflicted on her in the village and that had gone across her stomach had healed completely, leaving only a long, light scar. The brunette felt like her mind was playing a trick on her, a macabre one at that. But this particular one wasn't one, and the blood that clung to Clarke's body wasn't just from her bonds. Lexa wanted to go to the blonde, wanted to free her and take her away from this horrible place, but her feet wouldn't move, her arms wouldn't obey her and even her voice remained silent. An unprecedented despair overcame her when the Ice Queen sublimely entered the room, a smile that could not be surpassed in cruelty adorned her face. The brunette near her didn't even seem to notice her.

"For your treachery, you will receive your just punishment." Nia beckoned to an approaching guard, who set a heavy box down beside her. Slowly she opened it, pausing for a moment as if she were considering, before finally taking something out.

Lexa saw lashes crack on the blonde's body and felt them on her own. Burn marks were left on arms, hands and face, but elicited only a groan from the captive. There followed a few well-placed cuts that were certainly painful, but not deep. In number, however, it was only a matter of time before this changed and the blood loss took its toll. But perhaps the lack of fluids and food would also lead to this. It tore Lexa in two to see Clarke like this and to know that there was nothing she could do about it. She had to watch helplessly this torture from which there was no escape and whose duration she could not estimate, but she recognized the end. Nia strode up to the blonde, grabbed her roughly by the chin and forced her to look up with a jerk. Only slowly Clarke raised her head, she lacked the strength for more. Lexa did not know how long the blonde had had to endure this torture. According to the overall condition, at least a week.

The body was emaciated, the lips dry, but the will in her eyes remained unbroken as she used the last saliva at her disposal to spit smilingly in the Ice Queen's face. Nia didn't even flinch, but merely wiped her face laughing before giving her captive a punch that was sure to break her nose. "Don't worry, you won't have to suffer much longer, because I'm getting increasingly bored with this. I'll send your head to the commander, maybe I'll have him put it in front of her bed too. That way I'll have some fun too and you'll finally be good for something." But Clarke just continued to look at her unblinkingly, even as Nia pulled out her sword and lashed out, the defiance did not leave those beautiful blue eyes. She would show no weakness in her last breaths before her. Ever.

The sword thrust and with a cry Lexa awoke. Her breath came in rushes, her heart raced and she had to think about where she was. The pain was still palpable, as if it had been hers, and everything in her screamed to go to Nyko's hut to convince herself that it had all been a bad nightmare, but she stopped herself. She forced herself not to give in to this feeling. The shock, however, remained and held her in its cold grip, so that every time she closed her eyes she saw the images again. They did not lose their effect, however, but instead continued to increase, leaving a feeling of powerlessness in Lexa. As if there was no escape and what she had just seen was fate. Hastily she banished the nightmares and thoughts to the back of her mind. Nevertheless, she could not escape the anxiety that her dark room triggered in her, and so sleep was out of the question. Exhausted, she rubbed her eyes, pulled aside the covers and went out onto her balcony, hoping that the fresh air would clear her mind. Lexa propped herself up on the railing and looked up at the stars. She gazed at the full moon that dispelled the shadows with its light and took away some of the night's terror. Her mind gradually began to calm down, her thoughts slowed down and she filled her lungs with a deep breath.

Lexa had lain awake for a long time and when sleep finally overtook her, there were only a few hours left.

Early on, the doors to her chambers opened and Titus entered with a bow. "Heda."

"Good morning, Titus," she greeted him already washed and dressed. There was no sign of last night, her face resembled an emotionless mask, even if inside it looked completely different.

"There is much to discuss," was his retort, making an imposing impression in his robes, the always grim expression on his face and the task book in his hand.

"We always have much to discuss." Inwardly, Lexa sighed at this fact, but did not let on. She was in her role and had to live up to the expectations that came with it.

"There was one more part I wanted to discuss with you last night, but you were nowhere to be found." His voice sounded more reproachful than it should have been to his commander, but to him she would always remain his apprentice, more than that, he felt an obligation to her like a father to his daughter. He knew that this was against the rules and against his own teachings, but there was nothing he could do about it. Therefore, it seemed all the more important to him that Heda not make the same mistakes he did.

"I went for a walk," Lexa kept her voice low and crossed her arms behind her back.

Titus furrowed his eyebrows slightly, reflecting his skepticism. He was convinced that there was much more to it than she admitted, but he decided to keep his suspicions to himself for the time being. Therefore, he just nodded and pointed outside for the brunette to follow him.

Once inside the hall, they sat down at the large table and without further ado, he began to recount the agenda items in order of priority. "How do we want to proceed regarding the attack?"

Lexa nodded to him, she had used last night to think in depth about the next steps, weighing the pros and cons. "I will ride into the fallen village today with some of my best warriors to survey the massacre. Have them send for Anya and Luna. I will await them there. They are to represent the ambassadors and are to tell the body in their own words of the deed. I will not tolerate any possible excuses or cover-up tactics."

Titus bowed and let everything be arranged. The other items on the list had to wait and he was glad that his protégé only took the first steps, even if more reserved than he would have liked.

The sun had long since disappeared behind the mountains, the night had clearly cooled and the moon was shining strongly when Lexa returned from her mission and went to Nyko's hut again. With a knock, she quietly entered and looked around the room. She seemed to be alone with the patients and when she went to the blonde's bed there was already a stool there.

Was it still there? Or again? She knew that she hadn't taken care of him yesterday in her hurry, but surely one of his apprentices would have done so at the latest. So why was he standing there?

But at the latest when Lexa looked at the still sleeping woman, all her concerns were forgotten. She sat down and again hesitantly took the stranger's hand in hers. Lexa's gaze slid from her hand to her face and discovered a few drops of sweat on her forehead. Carefully she felt them and was startled. The blonde didn't just feel hot, no, she was positively glowing. Hastily, the brunette got up and went in search of Nyko, whom she found in one of the adjacent rooms. "Heda, how nice to have you back." He bowed and the concern in her eyes did not escape him. "What brings you to me?"

She greeted the healer with a nod. "I just checked on the stranger and it seems that her health has deteriorated. I suspect she has a fever, which is probably due to an infection."

He nodded his head slightly in confirmation. "The fever started during the day. I made her a poultice to bring the temperature down, with success, but for the past few hours it has remained at a constant level."

"Why didn't you let me know?" She looked into his eyes inquiringly, but he didn't let it bother him and smiled at her. "You did not give me any instructions regarding this and I assumed that you would check on her again."

"From where?" Lexa's eyes widened minimally and the lines around his eyes deepened. "It was a hunch, but I would have sent one of my apprentices to see you tomorrow at the latest."

She inclined her head briefly in confirmation. "What else can be done to improve her health?" She wanted to leave no stone unturned to finally make the blonde feel better.

Kind and knowing eyes looked at her. "I was just about to take a bowl of cool water and a sponge to her, hoping to bring her fever down further."

Lexa considered for a moment, but then decided to ask her question. "May I take this?" Nyko turned so she wouldn't see his smile, thinking to himself that she almost sounded like his apprentices who had fought over who got to take care of the blonde. In the end, he had taken over the care himself.

He handed his commander the addressed utensils and gave her some more instructions. "I will bring you another pitcher of water later. She needs to increase her intake, as she is currently consuming more and is in danger of dehydration otherwise." Lexa nodded and listened attentively to be able to carry out everything correctly afterwards.

Gently, she placed the vessel next to the blonde's bed and sat down before brushing her hair out of her face. Near the hairline she discovered a small scar and immediately thought about where it might have come from. Lexa had so many questions and wanted to know everything there was to know about the blonde. This curiosity and all these unknown feelings made her afraid. Even more so when she pushed up her sleeves and dipped the sponge into the water. Touching her, being so close to her, made her incredibly nervous and felt at least as good as forbidden.

Thoughtfully, it resembled meditation, she ran it over her face and arms, and slowly the stranger's features began to relax. Lexa repeated this process over and over again until, after a few minutes, Nyko joined her. He placed a pitcher and a glass next to her and then attended to one of the other patients. They did their work in thoughtful silence. The healer purposely did not ask questions that his commander probably did not want to answer or might even put her on the spot. Should she want to talk, he would be here, but he doubted it. Therefore, he pursued his thoughts and she hers.

Shortly after midnight she finished her work, left his den and went home. Her head full of contradictions and a heart that no longer wanted to be silent.

After that evening, a certain routine developed. Lexa, as soon as her duties permitted, went to Nyko, who placed a bowl of water, a shoal, as well as a carafe of tea and her stool next to the blonde's bed. At some point, an ointment was added, which he asked her to apply to the wound on her stomach. Which she did with trembling fingers. It felt incredibly intimate, like she was disregarding her privacy, though she was careful to cover all areas not necessary for the treatment. This was clearly beyond her own imagination, and also beyond normal touch, as the wound stopped just short of her pubic area. It was exciting and at the same time it brought a blush to her face.

What Lexa hadn't noticed in her excitement was that Nyko had been watching her closely during the initial treatments, but after seeing her care and how hard she tried not to violate any boundaries, he let her work on her own. Only now and then he examined the wound, even in the presence of his commander, since she seemed interested in what he was doing. He had shown her how to mix some ointments and a part of the healing and herbology. It was only basic knowledge and they were still at the very beginning, but who knew how long they had the possibilities to work side by side. Few outside of Lexa's advisory staff ever had the chance to be so close to her commander, and he was given the honor of teaching her something that might one day save her life or that of one of her warriors.

The days passed by, flying by, running in a repetitive pattern, yet as different as night and day. Routine and variety reached out to each other and both Nyko and Lexa enjoyed the time spent together. And as they worked side by side, the strangers' condition increasingly stabilized. At some point, Nyko addressed her for the first time, regardless of treatment. "I have instructed my apprentices to keep an appropriate distance from your patient. She is very much in demand among them and everyone wants to be the first to see her as soon as she wakes up. Therefore, I have taken complete charge of her care. I thought that would be entirely in your best interest." He mentioned it in passing as if it were no big deal, yet his words weighed heavier than Lexa would have liked. She had suspected that he knew of her crush, or at least suspected it, yet he hadn't said a word about it. "What makes you think that?" she tried not to fuel his assumption further, knowing it was a lie she was telling herself and one she knew she would not be able to defy reality, yet she was grateful to him. With every phase of her body.

"Well, I'm married and I have three daughters, besides I wanted to keep them out of trouble with the Commander." He played along with her game, pretending ignorance and knowing about his paternal role, yet in the end he could not hold back a small smile.

"Why would they... I mean..." she finally broke off. "Thank you." was all she added.

The wrinkles around his mouth deepened and he placed his hands on her shoulders before gazing deeply into her eyes. Unspoken, she allowed the closeness, it was unfamiliar, but not disturbing or constricting as she had previously assumed. She trusted the healer with the deep voice and the full beard that made him seem more adult. "Certain things take time. Recovery doesn't have to be just about physical condition." Still looking firmly at his commander, Lexa listened intently as she internalized his every word. "It's okay to question what you've learned and to have your own experiences. There is nothing reprehensible about that. New things may seem scary, but also make us grow the most in our must-do hours." Lexa swallowed deeply, but Nyko wasn't done yet. "Titus doesn't know everything. He lives for his beliefs, acts on the principles he has lived by, and gets lost in his approach to life. He himself was brought up as you were, but, it seems to me, has not had the same experiences. Don't be misled, because how wrong can something be that feels right? Sometimes you have to listen to your heart and overcome your own fears." His smile deepened as he continued. "This will remain our little secret, and should she awaken, I will send for you." He winked at her, letting go and turning away to give her time to process his words. Nyko knew the complexity of the matter. To no longer take a firm belief for granted, a wisdom that had been whispered to you from childhood, seems like a lie lived.

Just a day later, one of Nyko's apprentices burst into a meeting and Lexa knew. He had no verbal message for her; his appearing was the message. "I am expected on an important matter, so we will continue this meeting in the coming days." She rose from her throne and those present bowed until she had left the room, while the watchful gaze of Titus followed her.

Once Lexa arrived at the healer's hut, he sent everyone present out before Nyko addressed her. "She hasn't fully awakened yet, but the process has begun."

"Thank you for everything." He bowed and now left his home as well to give his commander the privacy he deserved.

The brunette sat down in her usual seat and took the blonde's hand in hers. Lexa lost track of time and didn't know if minutes or even hours had passed until she looked again into the dearly missed blue that had become her favorite color since she had seen it for the first time. As soon as the stranger opened her eyes she began to cough, which became so bad that she began to shake and only after several attempts she managed to croak "water". Instantly Lexa handed her a filled glass. Greedily the blonde drank with big gulps. "Where... where am I?" the still unknown wanted to know.

"You are in Polis and you are safe." Lexa didn't know why she whispered, but it felt right, somehow appropriate to the circumstances.

"How long have I been here?" The blonde looked to the ground, her voice sounding anxious, as if she feared the answer.

For her part, the brunette now lowered her gaze. "My... you were brought here a week ago. Our healer, Nyko, nursed you." She wasn't lying, even if it wasn't completely true.

The stranger stumbled, looked up, and sought Lexa's gaze. "You... you were here, too. I recognize your voice, and your touch is not unfamiliar to me." The speaker was silent for a moment before continuing. "How... how many times have you been here?"

Lexa swallowed. "Every... Every night."

Curiously, two blue eyes looked at her, but the feared question, to which she would have had no answer, did not come. A "thank you" was all that followed.

The intense gaze Lexa was met with took her breath away and her fantasies couldn't even begin to stand up to reality. "I... you're welcome." Uncertainty dominated her voice though she took care to make it sound calm. "I'm Lexa, and you are?"

"Clarke." Lexa's every hackle stood up, triggering a fear in her that bordered on panic. She knew the name, but how? And why did it trigger this feeling in her? But all thoughts disappeared when the brunette felt a gentle hand on hers. "Would you walk a few steps with me? I haven't been out in the fresh air for so long and my whole body feels stiff." The thought sounded extremely tempting, since her time with Clarke's sleeping self had already numbed all her senses, what was it like to talk to her first?

"I think that Nyko should examine you first. Your wound on your abdomen looks better, but I don't think we should take any chances." Everything in Lexa strove against denying the blonde her wish, but she didn't want to take any chances.

Clarke's look seemed slightly embarrassed before she blushed a little. "How much of me did you see exactly?"

"The big examinations were done by Nyko herself. I just applied the healing ointment and when you had a fever, I washed your face and arms with a sponge." Lexa saw the question in blue eyes, but left it unanswered. Finally the healer entered, introduced himself, and Lexa was about to leave the hut when Clarke called after her. "Are you coming back tonight?" The healer looked at the blonde, puzzled, but was silent about the way she spoke to the commander.

In the penumbra, no one noticed the twitch of the corners of her mouth before the addressed replied. "I'll be there."

***

1956

The Story took its course from that moment, a single touch had been enough to lift a complete world out of its seams and develop a life of its own that they could not escape. No matter how hard they tried. There was no escape, during the day it was their fantasies and at night the dreams that caught up with them. Which increased with every glance, every catching of the contours of the longed-for figure, and yet never consisted of more than a fleeting moment. A smile that was shared, an unasked question that stood in the room and yet was answered, even without them speaking to each other. Outside of their garden, they existed for their roles as wives and to their husband's duties, but those brief hours belonged to them and gave them strength. However, the realization of this fact as well as its truthfulness continued to be ignored. But feelings could not be escaped in the long run. So it was finally coincidence, perhaps even fate, that this circumstance lasted only a few weeks before the next stone was set rolling. The two husbands had met and befriended each other by chance over an after-work beer, inevitably causing Clarke and Lexa to spend more time together than they could escape or resist. They tried hard to continue to keep their distance, but they couldn't. It was a hopeless endeavor doomed to failure and every time they saw each other and their hands touched as if by chance, one of them gently stroked the back of the other's hand. It was a secret that they guarded like a treasure, almost like a game that they could not win. Therefore, they avoided any possibility of spending time alone to the extreme. Nevertheless, they did not succeed in completely withdrawing from it until they no longer had the strength to deny it.

Sometimes something unexpected, something great, something unique happens. It is similar to the idea of the butterfly effect. This states that the flap of a butterfly wing can create a vortex of air, which thereby triggers a larger one. This circumstance continues until a whirlwind is created. Ultimately, the point is that the smallest changes, in its nevertheless complexity of small things, can have dramatic effects and completely unexpected turns for life. They thus affect the course of events and thus the end of a story. A single decision, a single moment can change everything and is thus both a curse and a blessing.

In this story, the flapping of the wings is the first glimpse of which, in addition to curiosity, the next whirl of air followed in the form of the first touch. But what triggers the tornado in the end? Is it unfulfilled longings? Desires for a life independent of the prison that they called marriage, built on patriarchal ideas and demonstrations of power? Or do their own fears bring them down?

Due to this circumstance, it was useless to resist, which was also confirmed by the feelings that the two had for each other, because it was silent love in the consent of both. There were no tender words or touches that went beyond the short contact. Glances had to suffice, but these spoke volumes. They told of thunderous feelings that wanted so much to make their way, that longed for their freedom and yet remained locked up as if they were criminals, in a world that put you in drawers and in which you were forgotten, without the possibility to break out.

***

Present

In the last days it had become warmer and warmer, the sun had clearly increased in strength and the thermometer was about to crack the 28 degrees. Accordingly, Clarke wore only a pair of shorts and a tank top. She had her eyes closed and enjoyed the warm rays on her skin. When the bus came hissing open its doors, she got on at the same spot as she did every morning. She hadn't quite gotten on when she heard a, "Hey Clarke," very close to her.

Joyfully the addressed looked up and directly into green eyes. The smile that now followed she could not have prevented even under duress. "Hey Lex. As you can see I come in peace."

The brunette laughed out loud. "Unfortunately, I forgot the white flag. But I'm alone, too." Clarke joined her and was taken completely by surprise by the hug that now came. Appropriately awkward, she returned it. "So no bet after all?"

"Not today, but I'm sure we'll come up with an idea." Lexa winked at her and Clarke just managed to prevent a giggle. Instead, she just laughed. "Sounds like you already have an idea of what the winner gets."

The corners of Lexa's mouth twitched and became a wry grin. "Who knows," with those words, she leaned closer to Clarke, whose heart began to race, triggering a lapse, maybe even an aneurysm, in her brain. "So there's only one idea that comes to mind off the top of my head."

"And that would be?" hooked Lexa directly curious.

A date, the blonde almost slipped out before correcting herself just in time. After all, she had a boyfriend who was also sick at home. "Your cell phone number," was the only thing that seemed halfway plausible to her as an answer.

"You'll get it anyway." She looked at Lexa with wide eyes, but didn't move. "I'd need your cell phone for that, though." Amused green eyes twinkled at her.

"Uh, yeah, sure," was all Clarke could get out. She held out her cell phone to the brunette and got it back right away. Nice and neatly saved with first and last name. Lexa Woods, kind of fitting, the blonde thought.

"I hope you text me soon." Lexa winked at her and moistened her lips. Clarke's gaze stayed glued to it, following every movement. She sensed that this small gesture was doing a lot more to her than it should. The wetness took on an uncomfortable intensity and she wished she had spare underwear. But when she looked up, she discovered that green was not merging with blue as it usually did, but that Lexa's gaze was further down, as if mesmerized. Clarke hadn't noticed that her own lips were slightly parted, but Lexa's were even more so.

The blonde let her new friend stare and watched her a little more closely. The brunette was a bit taller than herself, her hair a bit curly towards the bottom and some strands tied back with pearl clips. She had sweeping eyebrows, a straight nose and full lips. The eyes shone in a green that she had never seen before and were rounded off by two small ears.

As inconspicuously as possible, the blonde let her gaze wander downward. What now followed was a slender figure, which was in a white, belly-free top, over a red, white, black jacket and a short dark, washed out shorts. The outfit looked even more casual than it already did because of the Chucks. The only thing Clarke couldn't judge was Lexa's butt, but she decided she really wanted to make up for it, because she was sure of one thing.

She had never seen a more beautiful person.

When Lexa realized at some point that she had been staring at a certain spot for much longer than she should have, she cleared her throat sheepishly and ran a hand through her hair. There was no time for an apology or a nervous stammer, because the stared-at person had to get off. And unlike Clarke, Lexa could definitely judge her ass, which she liked more than it should. The brunette had to pull herself together not to follow her and press it. Or at least to get another hug.... She shook her head in disbelief. What was wrong with her? Why couldn't she wait to hear from her? Why was she so looking forward to the next bus ride, but dreading the weekend just because she couldn't see Clarke? She felt like she was losing her way, but she still couldn't escape it. And she didn't want to.

Clarke was no different, and as soon as she got out of the car she wrote a message to the not-so-unknown woman who fascinated her so much. It was nothing more than a, Hey, it's me, Clarke. Made her as nervous as if she had to write a test, though.

Next, she opened Instagram, typed Lexa Woods into the search function, and after a few clicks, had found her. With shaky fingers, she sent her a follower request, which was accepted only a few seconds later with a smile and the message answered.

Clarke dropped heavily onto the bench next to Raven and extended Lexa's profile to her. "Here you go, satisfied?"

In response, she gasped. "She's ultra hot. Please tell me she's single and open to dating me." Suddenly she faltered and gave her best friend a skeptical look. "How come all of a sudden you do find her? We were just trying to find her yesterday and today, like magic, you have her profile? Her profile set to PRIVATE, almost impossible to find? There's something fishy going on."

Clarke looked at her as innocently as possible as she shrugged. "Raven, you really need to work on your attitude, you're way too skeptical." The look that now followed was indescribable and meant something like: Forget it, not with me. "Alright, maybe I asked her for her cell phone number today too."

"Oh my God, does that mean you're leaving Finn for a woman?" now Octavia also interfered with wide eyes.

"O' are you serious?" Clarke shook his head in disbelief. Now the crazy Latina had infected the usually reticent one with her weirdness.

"Raven's right after all. You're going to different colleges, meeting new people, having a completely different circle of friends, and changing incredibly." With those words, it did sound pretty reasonable. Still, there were some not insignificant points where she saw the same problems as in her relationship with Finn. "And how is that different from Lexa? I'm going to a college far away, that's for sure. Besides, I have no idea how old Lexa is. Maybe she's already going to college."

"I don't think anyone already going to college would be interested in a high school student. And before you deny that...she's into you. Guaranteed. Besides, there's still a chance she's our age and goes to the same college."

"Exactly." Clarke rolled his eyes with fervor. "That would be an unrealistic coincidence if we both went to Harvard. After all, with the three of us, it was already really unlikely."

"Pff, we're just not only hot, but also incredibly intelligent.... There's no question of coincidence or luck." Raven put her hands on her hips and stretched her chest. She didn't see the blow she got from Clarke coming, though.