Chapter 2
Incorrect Avengers Quotes @incorrectavengers
Clint: *wearing new t-shirt* How do I look, Wanda?
Wanda: *not looking up from her book* With your eyes, Clint.
Incorrect Avengers Quotes @incorrectavengers
Steve, being Rightous and Patriotic: If you kill a killer, the number of killers in the world stays the same.
Natasha, polishing her knives: Kill two.
Incorrect Avengers Quotes @incorrectavengers
(on a mission that's going downhill)
Clint: I shouldn't have come. I knew it, I shouldn't have come. I should have stayed in bed this morning.
Steve: *rolls eyes* There's safety in numbers, Clint.
Clint: There's also death in numbers, Steve. It's called a massacre.
The account had rapidly gained popularity, and was still going strong. Tony was slowly losing his mind, trying to figure out how someone was 'listening in on private conversations', and he and Steve had had many arguments about it already. ('It is important, Steve, that was on a mission, for fuck's sake-')
Steve was just not convinced it was as big a deal as Tony thought it was.
Peter was currently having a 'meeting' with Ned, MJ, and Shuri, discussing how they wanted to let this play out.
"Peter, you've got to put Spider-Man in there, or you, it looks suspicious if you don't," Shuri was saying.
"How can I put myself in without revealing who I am?" Peter asked.
"Easy," MJ cut Shuri off before she even had a chance to speak. "Just refer to yourself as 'Tony's Dumbass Intern.' TDI, for short."
Peter gave her a light glare. "Thanks for that."
"You know she's right, Peter," Shuri said. "Now come on, what's something funny that you've done recently?"
Peter shrugged. "I used Gen Z humor in front of Steve."
Ned laughed loudly. "Oh my God, use that one. That was hilarious!"
Peter pulled out his phone and began typing.
Incorrect Avengers Quotes @incorrectavengers
Tony's Dumbass Intern, a Gen Z kid, at lake with the team: *skips rocks while eating a sandwich*
TDI: *throws sandwich into lake, bites rock*
TDI: Why won't God just fucking kill me?
Steve, artifact from World War II: Are... are you okay, kid?
TDI: *finger guns* Absolutely not.
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Incorrect Avengers Quotes @incorrectavengers
T'Challa: so do you ever hear the Winder Soldier in your head anymore?
Bucky: Sometimes.
T'Challa: What does he say?
Bucky: Sometimes he makes plans to murder everyone within a ten-foot radius. Other times, he reminds me to pick up the bagels Steve wanted because Steve likes bagels.
Incorrect Avengers Quotes @incorrectavengers
TDI, holding a box: What would you say if I came home with four puppies
Tony:
TDI:
Tony: What's in the box
TDI:
Tony: *****, what's in the box?
TDI: I think you know
Incorrect Avengers Quotes: @incorrectavengers
Vision, slicing tomatos: Knowledge is knowing the tomato is a fruit
Tony: Then wisdom is not putting a fucking tomato on your fruit salad, Vision
TDI: So philosophy is wondering if that makes ketchup a smoothie
Rhodey: Common sense is knowing that ketchup is not a fucking smoothie
Incorrect Avengers Quotes: @incorrectavengers
Spider-Man: When I get murdered, make sure it's an unsolved case
Tony: What?
Spider-Man: I want to end up on Buzzfeed Unsolved!
Steve: How about we go back to the part where he said 'when I get murdered'
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Author's Note: SO
It's occured to me
That there's something I should tell you
This takes place after Infinity War. That will matter in the next chapter. However, we are ignoring the end of Endgame and all of FFH, because no thank you. So we're just gonna pretend the time travel thing went wonderfully, the team is back together, nobody died, there is Morgan but she probably won't come into play much. Also, Tony bought back the tower because why the fuck not.