There Was Something In The Air That Night (The Stars Were Bright)
Tony Stark Broke Into My Garage @HarlesQueener
labshenanigans.mov
[video transcript]
Tony Stark is slouched over his lab table, scraps of metal haphazardly scattered around him, his mouth wide open as he snores, seemingly dead to the world. A half empty cup of coffee is loosely held in his grip and oil is smeared all over his arms and parts of his face. Giggles and shuffling can be heard off camera as the camera moves closer.
“Shhh, he's gonna wake up,” Harley’s hushed voice sounds. “You'll ruin it.”
There's another voice equally soft, “He's actually going to kill us both.”
With a loud snort, Harley enters the frame, a devious grin on their face, and an airhorn in hand. They wink at the camera before their eyes shift to whoever is holding the camera. “We good Petey Pie?”
“Dude. Seriously. Don't call me that.” There's shuffling as the camera shakes before a throat is cleared. “Yeah we're good to go, Harles.”
Harley raises a thumb then the airhorn and spins on their heels, facing the clueless sleeping Stark. They slowly tiptoe over to the unsuspecting man and stands off to the side, holding the air horn directly in front of the billionaire's face. Harley nibbles excitedly on their lower lip, biting back a grin. Then they blow the horn.
Things escalate quickly:
Tony pushes away from his desk, shrieking loudly and frantically looking around. The chair topples over from the uncontrolled movement, and Tony flails his hands as he falls over, trying to regain his balance, which upends the coffee all over him.
Harley collapses against the table, clutching their mid section as they cackle wildly, actual tears streaming down their rosy red cheeks. Laughs erupt behind the camera, the frame shaking as whoever is filming joins in on the laughter.
Tony curses a series of Italian words, spat bitterly as he glares at Harley through wet bangs that drip coffee onto his face and he curses at the boy who answers in perfect Italian while chortling uncontrollably.
Suddenly Tony's eyes snap to the camera, showcasing his curly wet hair and bloodshot eyes as his mouth turns down into a withering scowl. His eyes narrow but the image is slightly ruined by his ruffled appearance and too large MIT sweatshirt hanging slightly off one shoulder.
“HARLEY! PETER! WHAT IN THE FUCKING NAME OF THOR WERE YOU THINKING I AM GONNA KILL YOU BOTH YOU LITTLE SHITS-”
The screen goes black.
→ #1 Stark Intern @Beter
CLASSIC.
You Know Who I Am @TonyStank
@Beter @HarlesQueener you're both grounded.
#1 Stark Intern @Beter
Mr Stark I'm 21 years old and Im a college student, you actually can't ground me.
Tony Stark Broke Into My Garage @HarlesQueener
@HarlesQueener if you ground me I'll just counter your attack by telling Aunt Pepper what REALLY happened to that 100k dollar painting.
→ You Know Who I Am @TonyStank
YOU WOULDN'T DARE.
Tony Stark Broke Into My Garage @HarlesQueener
TRY ME HOE.
caw caw mofos @hawkeye
This is really fucking entertaining.
Back Window @Natasha
So Antoshka’s children have teamed up against him? It's what he deserves.
activating windows shutdown protocol @TheVision
I fail to see what Mr Stark has done that would lead to you wishing ill upon him.
→ Sabrina But Emo @wanda
She's just joking Vis.
Back Window @Natasha
Am I?
Peter With a Bee: Heyyyy I know you said you have to get back to Berkeley tomorrow so I was wondering if you'd like to get lunch with me today?
Peter With a Bee: or not??? I mean, you're prolly really really busy and you don't need to hang out with ME of all people cause like you're so fuckong cool and I bet you have a lot of friends and you have Tony and the Avengers to hang out with so yeah why would you want to hang out with me haha
Peter With a Bee: yeah okay you definitely have better things to do than hang out with some nerd from Queens but it was really nice hanging out with you these last few days and messing with Mr Stark until he literally called the suit on us was really funny and you're a great guy and I don't want to monopolize your time to have lunch with me when you could be building some awesome robot
harlequinoa: Peter?
Peter With a Bee: Yeah?
harlequinoa: I'd love to have lunch with you tomorrow.
Peter With a Bee: Really?!
harlequinoa: Of course dude. You're awesome.
harlesquinoa: So what time do you want me?
harlequinoa: we could go to that place near your Aunt's that has the whole diner in Riverdale vibe. You know. Without the murder. Or whatever.
harlequinoa: Peter?
harlequinoa: Bambi? You there?
harlequinoa: OK then.
sbider bro: Ned help I'm a disaster
Ned Nedd n Neddie: we been knew this
Ned Nedd n Neddie: but what's up?
sbider bro: [shared screenshot]
Ned Nedd n Neddie: I??? Don't??? See??? Your??? Prob???
sbider bro: ASFAALALLSPDJ XXNAAPPDALLLDALX
sbider bro: NED OMFG HARLEY KEENER IS PROBABLY THE MOST BEAUTIFUL FUCKONG PERSON I HAVE EVER MET AND THE COOLEST PERSON THAT HAS WALKE THIS PLANRT WHU THE FYCK WOULD THEU WAMT TO HANG OUT WITH ME??????
Ned Nedd n Neddie: Ah
Ned Nedd n Neddie: Peter Parker you are like the greatest, bravest, sweetest, kindest, most pure soul I have had the pleasure of knowing but your self esteem is kinda shit. I know you and Harley have been spending your time on break together with Mr Stark so I don't see why you'd think they don't like you? They don't seem like the type to hide whether or not they don't like someone. They like you Peter. You like them (very very much *wink* *wink*). Don't overthink it dude.
Ned Nedd n Neddie: I mean, I'm friends with you and so is MJ and - it still shakes me - so is Flash. So. Go makeout with that mofos face.
sbider bro: ugh why are you so stupidly rational and shit? I should have texted MJ.
Ned Nedd n Neddie: OK peter but you know she'd agree with me and she'd be less kind.
sbider bro: why are you like this all i ever did was love you.
Ned Nedd n Neddie: Peter. Go text your new friend before they hack into your entire life and leave something horrible for ghosting them.
sbider bro: OH SHIT YOU RIGHT
Peter With a Bee: asdfhall sorry harley I was just distracted I didn't mean to ghost you or anything. We can totally go to Mocha Locha (that's what that diner’s called and I won't even bother asking why you know where my aunt lives).
harlequinoa: You're kinda cute Parker. I like it. Also I know everything ;)
Peter With a Bee: I should really be weirder out about the complete invasion of privacy but I'm not.
harlequinoa: and that says loads more about you than it does me.
Peter With a Bee: Haha you're not wrong.
harlequinoa: see you tomorrow at say? 11:40ish? I'll pick you up.
Peter With a Bee: I'll count the hours lol
harlequinoa: I'm flattered Petey Pie. Goodnight 💋
Pooter Porker: FLASH
Eugenie: what the shit parker wtf are you texting me at 11:00 in the night??
Pooter Porker: omfg I know you weren't sleeping stfu flash this is serious.
Eugenie: what
Pooter Porker: YOU'VE DATED PEOPLE RIGHT????
Eugenie: I'm not going out with you shithead.
Pooter Porker: Oh fuck off EUGENE that's not what this is about
Pooter Porker: [shared screenshot]
Pooter Porker: IMPART YOUR WISDOM ON ME
Eugenie: Go bother your actual friends Parker we're literally not that close.
Pooter Porker: ugh I hate you
Eugenie: you too dork.
Pup 1: MICHELLE LIGHT OF MY LIFE
mj: No.
Pup 1: awww cmon I haven't even asked yet.
mj: sigh
mj: what is it Peter? We can't all be geniuses some of us have to study.
Pup 1: HEY I study!!!
Pup 1: anyway there's this person who I think I sorta like and I think I asked them out on a lunch date except why the hell would they think it's a date? I mean, we're just friends and we've only known each other for a month or whatever and we just met in person a few days ago???? but they're really gorgeous and they smell so nice and I don't wanna weird them out because I have a small crush on them so I Need your Advice™.
mj: peter?
Pup 1: mmm?
mj: you're fucking great and any person would be honoured to date you you trash bag.
Pup 1: thank you??? I think???
mj: you worry too much. Like you said, you just met this person (and don't think I noticed the lack of gendered terms so I know EXACTLY who you're going to lunch with) so don't panic about things that don't matter. Just enjoy their company.
Pup 1: Thanks Mom 💞