In the car I just can't wait (to pick you up on our very first Not Date)
“So I leave you alone for one afternoon, and you suddenly have a date with my intern?" Tony recounts, sprawled on Harley's bed, eyes narrowed on the brunet as they move around the room, pulling out a purple and black floral button down and black jeans, tossing them on a chair nearby.
“It's not a date,” They correct automatically.
“Of course it isn't,” Steve, the other bane of Harley's existence, says from where he sits beside Tony, running his fingers through the older man's hair. Harley wishes they would stop being gross on their bed, but complaining would only make the two men act worse.
Harley rolls their eyes, falling to their knees to search for a pair of black converses.
“I'm telling you,” They insist, tossing a glare at the pair. They return to their search for sneakers, shuffling through the excessive amount of shoes that Tony had bought them for no reason whatsoever. “If it was a date, I would know. We're just friends.”
“I thought you liked him," Tony points out.
“Yeah, didn't you rant for hours about Peter's curls?" Steve teases. Harley looks up and throws one of their combat boots at the Captain, who quickly catches it, grinning.
“Shut up,” Harley snaps. They narrow their eyes at Tony, who's cackling. The bastard. “I thought I told you not to TELL ANYONE ABOUT THAT.”
"Aw, come on, piccola patata, I didn't think Steve counted," Tony protests. Harley scowls at the blond who is batting his eyes innocently at them.
"Steve always counts," They hiss. The captain snorts. Harley gives him another withering look and returns their attention to their collection of shoes. "If you both could leave, that'd be great."
"And miss you throwing your stuff around the room? No way."
Harley throws the other combat boot at the genius. "Fuck you guys, that's why Bucky is my favourite."
“For your information, Steve and I are a fucking joy to be around, we are a goddamned delight,” Tony says, dodging the shoe before it smacks him in the face.
"Yeah? Well, you're distracting me from getting ready for my date," Harley snaps.
“Knew it!” Steve yells.
“Shut up you dumb blonde!” Harley shouts back, grabbing a shoe and aiming to throw, but pausing because finally they found those infernal shoes. “Fucking finally,” They sigh, grabbing the other foot and rising to their feet.
"Honestly, kid, you've got no respect for your elders," Steve says.
Harley spins to glare at the two older men. “Can you both leave? You're giving me a migraine. And don't talk to Peter about our da-" Steve grins and Harley sneers at him. "Not date."
Tony holds a hand to his heart, faking a look of offence. "Am I an embarrassment to you?” He gasps. Harley deadpans.
“Yes, yes you are. Both of you,” They state bluntly. Tony scoffs and practically crawls into Steve's lap.
“I'm leaving only because I want you and the littlest Spider to be together,” He says, throwing his arms around the blond's neck “Come on, Cap, Little Potato here is too high class for their loser friends.”
Harley snorts and watches patiently as Steve lifts Tony, who grins and kisses the man on the cheek, and they both leave the room.
"Good riddance."
"Michelle it's not a date."
“Could’ve fooled me," Flash pipes up. Peter turns away from his small closet and glares at his laptop where Flash, Michelle and Ned were displayed, watching him get ready for lunch with Harley.
"I didn't ask you, Eugene," He snaps, without any real heat. Flash looks away from the notebook before him and raises a brow.
"Then why am I on this call? If not for my invaluable input?" He asks.
"Moral support," Peter says, turning back to his clothes. He ignores Flash's scoff. The entire thing is filled with band and science pun t-shirts, and old hoodies. Peter groans and digs a hand through his hair, spinning back around to pout at his friends. "Guuuuyys I have no clothes."
"You got that right, Parker," Flash unhelpfully remarks.
He glares at the man and flips him off. "Seriously, Harley's going to show up in like...half an hour and I have nothing to wear."
Michelle rolls her eyes from where she's sitting in a café. "Peter, I am 100% sure Stark would never let you walk around with only your less than desirable wardrobe. You must have something that looks good."
"I don't. All of my clothes are at the tower!" Peter despairs. "I only rented this room because I thought it'd be weird staying there with Harley visiting."
"That makes no sense," Ned says. "Why would it be weird?"
"BECAUSE!" He exclaims, flailing his arms about for emphasis. "Harley is like...so fucking cool, and I'm so... Not. Plus... I'm just Tony's pet intern, he probably likes having Harley around better, you know? I'd just be... Awkward."
"Bullshit Parker," Flash says, scowling. "Stark doesn't strike me as the type of person who lets people who he doesn't like hang out with him and his entire family."
"Yeah, Peter, Mr Stark pretty much saved the entire universe for you."
Peter rolls his eyes. "Come on guys-"
"Dork, if you say one more bad thing about yourself, I'll reach through this screen and kick your ass."
Peter stares at his friends, who stare back expression serious. After all those years of having just Ned on his side, he still isn't used to other people rooting for him. Even Flash - which at times was still trippy as hell. "Okay," He sighs. "I'm literally the greatest person on this planet, whatever, I still need something to wear."
Flash scoffs and slams his textbook closed. "Parker, step aside and let me see what I'm working with here." Peter moves out of the way and watches Flash eye his wardrobe, an intense focus to him.
"Let me see that dark green Henley," Flash orders. Peter grabs it and holds it up. Flash hums and nods. "Pair that with jeans and a nice shoe, and you'll be fine."
Peter nods and pulls the Henley over his head, then finds a decent pair of blue jeans and pulls them on. He pairs them with white sneakers, and turns to his friends, outstretching his arms to showcase the look.
"Never thought I'd say this," Ned begins, sounding awestruck. "But Flash is right."
"Whatever Nerd, I'm always right," Flash retorts.
"Now," MJ cuts in, a smirk on her lips. "How do you plan on getting a kiss from your Non Binary Snack Attack?"
Ned and Flash grin. Peter groans and hangs up the video call before it escalates. His phone vibrates on his bed beside the laptop and Peter jumps atop it, picking the device up. There's a message from Harley, which makes his heart beat just a little bit faster.
harlequinoa: Hey sweet cheeks
Peter With a Bee: ...sweet cheeks???
harlequinoa: I'm only joking, I'll be at your apartment in a few minutes, Bambi.
Peter With a Bee: I'll see then Harley 😊
harlequinoa: cutie :)
Peter bites down on his lips, fighting a smile. He better get ready then.