Sparks Fly

You waved the thick clouds of smoke out of your clean air and looked around past the mist. The trees circling you towered high into the clouds, flourished with thick bushes of greenery and several hanging branches.

E/c eyes narrowed. Your target was hiding up there somehow, you were sure of it. But you didn't want to risk it, knowing his calculated camouflaging far surpassed your own navigation abilities. In the corner of your mind you counted down the remaining minutes you had left in the thick forestry.

And, you were running out of time.

You cupped your hands and cried out. "Come out, come out!"  Alas, only sing-song chirps echoed through the trees.

A swift breeze hit your back and you spun around, your fingers itched with static scratching at the skin; you were ready for a fight. Air was still yet, no response. The smell of smoked sulfur was still freshly etched in the air.

Smoked...smoke... Your thoughts rang a bell.

The hint of mischief peaked at your mind with a new idea forming. You eyed one of the trees that circled you and smiled. Memories of childhood hide and seek games played in your mind, and the old nursery rhyme you used to sing with them accompanied you as you walked around.

Your fingers crackled with electricity, ready be released upon the unsuspecting target.

"Ring around" You sang softy. "The rose..-ie."

A blast of hot light struck a tree across from you. The large cracking of the barked middle hit was now cloaked in a smokey glaze that slowly floated above the blacked streak.

"A pocket full of of pose-ies." You threw another bolt to the tree across from the last one, leaving another crispy black slash, this time it was burned even deeper into the solid pine .

The simulated wind blew across the trees and rustled the leaves so softly-and yet, with every leaf shook you could almost have sworn the patterns of moving green had a sudden weight added to them.

Like someone was moving against the forest itself.

Your grin widened and you continued, with an eye on your mission, and frankly with your favorite line.

"Ash-es, ash-es." You chimed, in love with the creepy aura the song gave off because of you.

The next tree was thinner than the others. When you fried the trunk, your violet flames burned the edges and a low hanging branch fell onto the grass in an ashy lump of charcoal.

Satisfied, you turned to another tree.

"We..." You trailed your voice off for a moment, waiting, eyeing the shadow lurking in the corner of your eye.

"..all...fall..."

You spun around to the tree right behind you.

"Down!"

The shadow sprung, but the harsh violet lights from your hands were released and struck before anymore teleportation could take place.

"Gah!"

"Gotcha!" You cheered. A small purple field of electric energy held your opponent high up above the grass, frozen mid-stance on his hind legs, no doubt for a would-be surprise attack. If focused hard enough, you could notice how Kurt's fingers shifted ever so slightly with the little amount of movement he was allowed within your electric lights. Yet the currents never burned him, only bouncing every so often on his skin, keeping the mutant stilled and entirely at your mercy.

"Give up my love?" You giggled, both your hands held up to the force field holding your boyfriend.

He smiled and peaked his tongue out. "Jou cheated liebchen."

"I strategized." You corrected. "And I'd be careful if I were you. In fact, I'd advise you to give up."

Kurt smiled. "I don't know liebe. I'll have to think about it." His eyes brightened. "How much time do jou have?"

The question froze you. You bit the inside of your lip. Damn that adorable fuzzball; was it noticeable? You could already feel your muscles tensing at the strain-you never could keep electric fields up for too long, especially not with the extra weight.

And Kurt knew that. It would only be a few minutes before you dropped it...Before you dropped him.

You grinned up to your boyfriend, and his surprised expression encouraged you.

"Well I'd hate to drop you..." You trailed. Energy built up from your core, out into the electric field only a few feet above you, and then it went higher, and higher, and higher up still the farther you raised your arms to follow.

"Ah!" Kurt's surprised yelp fueled your strength to raise it higher, past the trees.

"Y/N? Liebe?! Please?"

"Like-like I said." You breathed out, a burning ache was beginning to form in your chest. "I'd hate to-"

The force field stumbled a few centimeters. Kurt squeaked in the air. So cute, you thought.

"Okay, okay!" Kurt cried out. "I give, I give. Y/N wins!"

An automatic voice vibrated through the forest.

"^Simulation Complete.^" The voice announced. "^Ultra Violet Wins^"

You breathed a sigh of relief and worked to lower Kurt down more carefully; the pain tugged at your subconscious, but you shrugged it off and focused on making sure Kurt came back down safely.

Once the electric energy ball touched the ground and insured Kurt was safe, you released the weight you had been holding and sighed in relief as the lights extinguished themselves, glittering for mere seconds before dissipating into the air above. Kurt stumbled a little as his feet finally touched a physical surface. The tightening grip your electric force had made him stiff and he proceeded to start flexing and shaking his arms, legs and tail in order to regain the proper feeling and mobility in his body.

Honestly, he looked kind of silly, reminded you of a cute blue puppy shaking off the freshly fallen rain, you tried to suppress your chuckle.

"Are you alright Kurt?"

Your sweet nightcrawler smiled at you, toothy grin and all. "Ja!" He whipped his tail around. "Just getting mein footing again." His gaze was loving. "Jou did vell liebe."

"Well done Ultra Violet. Very impressive."

The forest melted into smears of green and brown, that darkened until finally fading away into the harsh grey metal and blue lights of the Danger Room. Exhaustion tempted you to collapse right there on the cold, steel floor. But instead, you forced your trembling limbs still in the presence of the professor. His eyes met yours from atop the little window seat above you. He looked quite pleased with himself.

"Kurt, skillful as always." Xavier's tone lowered just slightly. "If not a bit overly brazen."

"Vhat can I say?" Kurt smiled bashfully. "I love to put on a gutt show."

Xavier brushed past the topic, and reached back for the microphone. "I actually need you two up here for a moment. There's something we need to discuss."

His stern tone made you worry. *What did he need to discuss?* It worried you. *He said I did well right? Right!?*

A hand brushed against your ungloved fingers.

*Best not to stress too much* You took in a breath.

You couldn't lose yourself. If your anxieties took over, the electricity would follow suit. But it was hard when under the scrutiny of the man you owed your life too. A man you so desperately needed to impress.

You turned your sight to Kurt. He was waiting for you to be alright. A weak smile and a nod was the only proof you could provide.

"Mind giving me a lift Kurtie?"

His eyes brightened immediately and he clasped his hand tightly around your own. "Hold on tightly." He smirked, and gave a quick wink.

Teleporting always felt like the air was being sucked straight out of your lungs then shoved back through with a vacuum, and all within the one tenth of a second you had to be aware of it. Before you could blink, a different surface was felt underneath your feet.

The control room's spaciousness was well in tuned to accommodate the other guests you didn't realize had also been seated behind the professor. Ororo was half seated on the edge of the panel, arms relaxed and limply crossed. Scott was seated lazily on the back of his chair,closest to Xavier, half leaning on the control panel himself. Beside him, Jean sat upright and met your eye with a tender smile, most likely she meant to ease you, yet to no avail.

Apparently Xavier hadn't been the only witness to your latest training rep.

"Ah, I see you took your time." Xavier stated, with but the shadow of a smile to indicate his mirth.

"Everything alright?" The question expanded in your throat like a thick sludge and made you absentmindedly fiddle a hand to your collar, attempting to air out the smooth slip of material.

A biting chill of fresh wind blew into the control room, gifting you only the slightest sensation of relief. From the corner of your eye you just barely caught the blur of silver shaping into Peter who leaned against the door. His eyes were eager with planned mischief already whirring behind the gears in his head.

Whatever relief that gush of cool air gave had disappear rapidly. The once large room slowly began to tighten and close up around you with the number of people filling it. An uncomfortable heat warmed the thickening sludge inside your throat and slithered down your spine.

Xavier darted his eyes around your company and turned back to you. Kurt had abandoned his place at your side to take an open seat across from Ororo. Everyone was looking at you, their eyes held more than acknowledgement, you just didn't know what.

Was this some kind of intervention? Did you do something wrong? Maybe giving Kurt the threat of being dropped several feet was considered cheating under Danger Room codes. Were there Danger Room codes? Was that a thing? The heat was building up. It was getting harder to force a breath through your throat. Your head felt heavier.

The professor's voice beat against your skull. "Y/N why don't take a seat?" He offered.

A seat? A seat! Why? For you to crumble into once you broke down crying into a pitiful heap?

You rubbed your temple to help ease the stress under it, only for your eye to catch a bright assortment of sparks dancing on your hand and glazing themselves up your arm.

You forced a deep breath from your lungs and through the lump in your throat.

"Sorry." You gave a weak smile. "Guess I'm still-" you took in another breath.

"Still a little riled up."

A seat was pushed towards you by Ororo and you gave her a polite nod in return; by that point exhaustion won out and you slumped down.

"As the newest member of our 'honor program' ," the Professor began speaking, and it forced your attention up in respect, though you were still too tired to fix your leaned in posture, "I wanted to keep close attention to your progress in simulations of outside dangers."

"In fact, I've been meaning to make a decision for quite a while now and its been decided."

*Keep calm, keep calm* You thought to yourself. *Don't spark, don't spark, don't spark! Focus on your breathing. Focus on your heart beat.*

"-and when it was discussed, your teammates agreed it would be best they be here as well. Which means-

"Congratulations Sparklers!" Peter was suddenly in the middle of the room, a party blower in his mouth and giving off a shrill honk with every other breath as he danced towards you; confetti had started slowly raining down and trailing over the floor. "Welcome to the team!" Another high pitched honk hit your ears.

Kurt joyfully laughed and clapped his hands at the festive moment. His eyes glowed bright yellow when he looked over to your puzzled face.

"Surprise Y/N." He grinned, leaving you all the more confused.

"I.." You trailed. "I don't understand. I mean-haven't I been on the team?" The thought stung at your heart and the idea you might have done something wrong still lingering.

"Of course you have Y/N." Jean sat up taller. "You've done amazing in the Danger Room!" Her smile widened. "Which is why-

"-You're going on a mission with us!" Peter interrupted and made another honk on the party horn. "Finally! I've been saying all along you deserved it." The speedster crossed his arms and gave a smug impression.

A heart beat seemed to skip past your chest a second too late, just enough so that you could feel the shock resonate through your entire body. A fluttering lightness floated through your mind faintly.

"A mission?" You smiled. "An actual mission, you mean one not in here?" You couldn't believe it. A real mission, you were actually going to get to help people and make a positive difference in the world! To care for others and assist in newly sought mutant tolerance.

"The details are not yet confirmed." Xavier added. "But yes, our help has been asked for and some of you will be going out in the field." He looked to you. "And Miss L/N, your talents would be greatly appreciated in the field."

An eager spark of energy flushed up and rose into your cheeks as light danced into your eyes.

"Yes! Yes, of course!" You smiled. Your fingers drummed across your knees, and gave the impression of glittery sparkles bouncing off your suit for fleeting seconds.

"Thank You so much!" You cheered.

"No need." Peter chirped, acting as though he didn't see your head obviously turned to Xavier and continued talking. "You deserve it kid."

"Oh wait-" Scott chipped in. "When is this mission, aren't you needed for the Spring Break open house Professor?"

That thought stilled you and your memory resurfaced. Earlier that winter, Professor Xavier announced that for any students staying at the Institute during the upcoming Spring Break would be given a large amount of festivities throughout the week, including outings in New York City, all on the Professor's dime. This would also be a time for family members of returning and prospective students to visit the Institute to see what further mutant education and training was all about.

The week would also be a great opportunity for students to proudly show off all they learned to their loved ones.

And just like many of the students, you were planning on your mother visiting the Institute.

Professor Xavier shook his head. "There's no need Scott, this mission will be finalized this month, long before the Spring holiday festivities."

His answer called for cheers and sighs of relief all around.

You rolled your eyes at him, but amused nonetheless. All tension had left you at this point, and even the eager excitement swiftly smoothed down into a low humming underneath your skin. Fellow X Men began their congratulations and well wishes for you, talk of how exciting the first mission will be, and how important your part in it would surely be-despite the fact none of them knew what the mission was yet, as you apparently had until the end of the month before actions were to be taken.

Kurt had a gentle hold on your arm, offering both physical and emotional support for the exciting ordeal.

"Alright, alright." You giggled, blushing under the positive attention, while keeping a hold on Kurt's arm. "I'm beyond happy. But now, I need to take a hot shower before dinner."

You gave Kurt a quick peck on the lip, and offered a cheeky good bye wave to your friends as you walked through the door and made your way to the showers.

The Girls Locker Room was just down the hallway from the control room, luckily for you. Grey and violet tiles streaked the cold floors and lined the walls while fresh lemon cleanser kept the citrus scent alive around the room. You moved past the purple curtains hiding the showers and towards a line of white lockers. The one with an obvious paint crack on the side was the one you preferred to use, just so it was easiest to find.

You opened it up, and snatched the bundle of day clothes to change into after a nice hot shower to ease the strain on your limbs. Despite your aching body's protest, you didn't dally too long under the enticing warm spray. You stayed just long enough to rinse away the sweat and grime of a hard training day with floral lavender body wash.

Once you stepped out and changed into normal day clothes, you made your way back to the locker, and clicked on your cellphone to check for any updates.

To your surprise, a blaring red light started to blink back at you and informed you of missed messages.

*Missed Messages?* Who was trying to call you during class? As a matter of fact, who outside of class even had your number?

A small thought this could perhaps be some telemarketing scam mail crossed your mind while you opened up the tiny electronic and went into the Call app.

"2 Missed Messages"

"Mother (2)"

Your heart hummed in your chest as you stared into the artificial light. It had taken forever-you remember, to finally get to your Mother and inform her about the Institute's upcoming Spring Break festivities-of which she interrupted you by gleefully exhausting on about how she had been meaning to return to New York, how excited she was to return to her favorite Specialty Suite at the Four Seasons and shop 5th avenue with you, and to how needed a vacation with her daughter was.

You chuckled to yourself, she probably needed to get details on the festivities she either ignored or didn't bother remembering at first. Then again, knowing how Mother was, you smiled, she probably just wanted to discuss spa treatments or dessert specifications. Eris L/N was a woman of the 'finer things' as she called it, always encouraging you to adapt your tastes to that of the 'best'. It was silly at times, but to you, it meant she cared.

You clicked onto the re-call button and held the phone up to your ear as a string of dull rings filled the still air around you.

"RIING"

"RIING"

"RIING"

A break in the sound.

"Eris L/N's office." An empty, bored woman's voice came out of the speaker.

"Hi Clarice." You muttered to your Mother's assistant. "Its' Y/N, I saw I had some missed messages on my phone. Did mom try to call me?"

"I was trying to get in contact with you Y/N. What were you doing?" Clarice's bored tone had turned sharp, in the way she always used on you when she meant to invoke you were trouble. "You're supposed to keep your phone on you at all time."

"Yeah." You swallowed, your fidgeting slowly started up again. "I-uh." You paused. "I had a study session for my honor program and it took longer than usual."

There was a standing silence on the phone, yet you could already imagine Clarice close her light jade eyes in frustration, pinch the tip of her short, round nose and internally sigh.

"Never mind then." Clarice answered. You knew she couldn't argue with your academics, a strict rule your mother enforced rather sternly when you moved to New York, but it wasn't like you could tell her you went past class time because you were busy trying to trap an adorable teleporting fuzzball in a simulated Canadian forest after avoiding a giant metal claw trying to suffocate you.

Though you were half tempted to try it.

"At least you answered as quickly as possible." She continued, straight back to business professionalism. "I called to inform you that your mother has received an important client in Macao. The firm has been conversing with this individual for months now and today your mother was able to supply a written contract."

You forced out a smile. "That's wonderful!" Hopefully your voice conveyed an excitement to mask the lack of interest you held. To be fair, you didn't exactly understand what this had to do with you anyways.

Still if your mother felt it important for you to know, maybe it was that big of a deal for her firm.

"Yes, the news has really boosted moral among the company." Clarice explained. "However, due to the importance of this client, your mother is taking every precaution. If things go well an investment may be foreseen." She added. "This is a very important deal."

"I'm sure it is." You added, slightly confused at Clarice's sudden rise in enforcement.

"Then," Clarice paused. "Then you should be aware your mother needs to focus most of her time on this client Y/N. And she's booked to spend two weeks next month in Macao with her client to further transactions."

It took two seconds for the information to cling to you, before you realized what that meant.

"Mom's not visiting for Spring break then."

A sigh on the other end punched a dent into your stomach.

"I'm sorry Y/N."

Clarice continued speaking, though in your sudden grasping for cohesion of thoughts you only managed to pick up the tiniest of pieces. Lost words of "...so important..." and "...some other time..." and "You understand..."

"I thought you should know as soon as possible. I know the Break was coming soon and I didn't want to procrastinate on the news."

A warmth tingled in your wounded stomach. "Can't I just come home myself for break?" You hated how desperate it sounded.

"Y/N, you're mother wants you to gain as much education where you are. Given the circumstances..."

You felt your heart crumbling inside at her words and falling into an empty chasm beneath. It didn't fall flat on you what Clarice, and by extension your mother meant by those instructions. She didn't want you home by yourself, she didn't trust you to your own devices without her there to keep you 'safe' as she would put it.

Hot flashes sparked white and purple across your vision.

"...its probably for the best if you stay where you are. So that you can benefit the most from this." Clarice added in, forcibly enthused. It made you wondered if she really meant to try and convince of something other than the obvious.

A desolate void began burning itself into a deep crater in your chest. The unspoken need to keep Mother's flawless reputation and precious life of perfection far away from your disastrous abilities were not lost on you. They never were. You were better off 'benefiting' at a school that could contain you until you could be up to Mother's standards for her daughter.

A boiling sensation bubbled up your throat and forced you to clench the tiny piece of metal tighter. You could feel the vibrant tingles across your fingertips and prickling the flesh across your arms.

"I need to go back to work now Y/N. But it was nice speaking with you."

Why did you feel that was a lie. Clarice never seemed to like you, even when you were younger. Always a little stain that forced her to scrap her Ivy League business degree on babysitting the spoiled heiress. Honestly, when your mother sent you away, you could imagine that cold light in her eyes brighten at the aspect. The most that woman would ever feel for you would be pity and resentment. Though, apparently it wasn't like your own mother was going to be much better.

Sparks tingled up your skin and you tightened your grip. A break in the sound indicated someone had hung up on the end, followed by a harsh crackling that gritted on your ears while your hand squeezed tighter. Your teeth grated.

A biting scent of burnt charcoal hit your nose; you gasped and swished your head around, suddenly aware that you looked a mess. The stinging on your eyes were from salty tears staining your fresh showered face. You became aware of an ache on your jaw and hand from how tightly your muscles had pulled. You looked around you, expecting Kurt's worried yellow eyes staring back at you probably having gone looking for you after taking so long.

But no one was around. You heard no footsteps, no intakes of breath, nor even a mental tug on your consciousness which often came with Jean's instinctual telepathic gaze. No you were alone.

Yet why was that burnt smell still lingering in the air?

Your tendons froze, and you uncertainly looked down at your hand. An obvious black wisp of smoke floated in the air, freshly escaped from the scalding remains of what had been your phone's internal hardrive.

You grimaced looking at the tiny smoking device.

You wanted to cry, you wanted to scream until your lungs gave out. Your fuse was sizzling and sparking up out so much you had to take a moment to try and focus electricity towards the areas of your skin and air not covered in the silk fabric of your blouse.

How stupid could you get? That phone was expensive. Sure you could technically afford it, your mother had set up a large portion of 'donations' to the institute...ones you knew she mainly meant to forgive any 'accidents' your mutation caused.

The heat in your gut flared up again. 'Damage Control' that's what you were. But it wasn't like you could blame her, electricity was a destructive mutation. it burned and scalded, and permanently scarred whatever it touched.

You felt the black charred remainder of your phone had cooled in your hand. Chunky, unclear shapes melted from the glass and plastic made scratchy sensations in your fingers.

Irritated and just done with the small piece of junk, you spitefully chucked the phone to the other side of the room.

A deep, cool breath settled in your nerves, making electricity thrum from the sensation. You tried to calm down, the others would be looking for you, or at least wonder where you were.

So instead of having a temper tantrum, you got up and walked out, leaving only a broken machine and a broken promise in the corner.

Because training ran late, only your fellow teammates were seated down in the dining room. Across a long wooden table sat plates of creamy mashed potatoes dripped in warm gravy, platters of roast beef cut in easy tender bites, a service of freshly baked vegetables, and golden cheesy macaroni steaming in a large silver soup bowl.

For a sparse moment, the inner simmering fumes were cooled down and your mouth watered at the sight of homemade comfort food.

"Welcome back rookie!"

Peter's dark eyes shined at your arrival, though he stayed well kept in his seat with a piece of roast beef sticking out on the top of his fork. Immediately that delicious distraction was vanquished; all eyes were up on you and a pit dug itself inside you. You turned your lips upward into a small and hopefully believable smile to put them at ease. you forced your shoulders down and tried to keep your arms relaxed at your sides.

"Yeah." You breathed, widening your smile sheepishly. "Just had to take a call."

"Everyzing okay?" Kurt turned his head to face you expectantly. You noticed his tail tapping at an empty seat beside him. His excitedly wagging spade made an internal playfulness spark a sweet light within the internal pit.

You shook your head and grabbed the seat open for you. "Its fine." Flashed another smile. "Just my mom checking up on me." Grabbed for the gooey macaroni. "Just some, you know some, catching me up on things back home in Chicago."

"Anyzhing new?"

His happy smile in return made guilt drip into you. But you persevered, pushed it back and added a tiny chuckle. "Not really." You pulled for the tray of baked and seasoned veggies and yanked the steak fork for serving. "Clients are demanding, files are always missing that-you know, one specific thing it seems is the most important."

You laughed as you stabbed into little pieces of sustenance. "What about you? Anything interesting happen in the last twenty minutes I was gone."

Kurt shrugged. "Not unless jou count Hank's new dinner techniques."

"Yes I've noticed a subtle change from lemon pepper to ..hmm..." You grinned. "Do I sense the taste of red pepper flakes?"

"You do indeed." The doctor added from his place higher up at the table. "With a hint of paprika."

You smiled and pushed the dread deeper still. In a dramatic fashion you kissed the tips of your thumb and forefinger to give off the cliche chef's kiss. "Mwha! Chef McCoy!"

Doctor McCoy nodded. "Yes, for 'Food may be essential as fuel for the body, but good food is fuel for the soul". He paused and gave a nod. "Malcom S. Forbes."

"Well said Hank." The tight squeaks of the Professor's wheels hit down the marble floor as he entered, Raven at his side; "Now what's for dinner?"

For the next several minutes you tried to focus mainly on your food below, trying not to eat too quickly lest you appear uncomfortable, or too slowly in case someone worried. You tried to pitch into the conversation when needed, you gave a joke or two and maybe commentary once. But mainly you stayed quiet, and allowed the tension stay light and free flowing.

The food left on your plate at this point had turned cold, heavy in your mouth. The pasta felt chilled and slimy down your throat, while the roast beef turned dry and stale on your fork.

Finally, to your immense relief it seemed everyone was beginning to pile out. Peter first, obviously decking out in his humorous dramatic fashion. Scott and Jean subtly followed out around the same time and others began to follow suite. This was your cue and you were more than happy to push your plate back and scurry off. Dinner had been so exhausting.

You gave a gracious smile and rose from your seat, ready to escape to the sanctuary of your own private quarters. A few nods of acknowledgement towards the remaining patrons of the table was all you felt was needed and you headed towards the door.

Kurt's voice rang out. "Y/N? Liebe?"

You turned your head to Kurt rising up from his chair. "Are jou okay?" He asked.

A split second of panic hit you. Were you obvious? Did you say something? Do something wrong? Something went off! You idiot! How could you be so translucent?

No, you had to stay calm, Kurt was always the most loving and caring person. You just had to be careful.

You pretended to act confused. "Um, as far as I know." You chuckled, you needed to act casual. "Are you okay?" Redirecting the subject to his needs. his were more important anyways.

"I'm alright." Kurt added, which made you worry if he was perhaps suggesting suspicion. "Actually, I vas thinking about vhat ve should do to celebrate for jou."

"Oh..." You smiled. "Its been such an exciting day-with all that's been going on. And its getting late and-" You paused, trying to force the wheels in your head to turn faster, to ignore the slow ache in the back of it.

"We should all get together this weekend!" You quickly floundered out at the first thought. "When we all have the free time."

Kurt was silent for a few seconds too long. You panicked.

"Honestly-" The breath in your lungs hitched. "I'm...just tired. It was a pretty hectic day." You quirked a smile. "Besides-" You pecked his cheek. "Don't you have an essay to finish Blau?"

Now it was time for Kurt to react; his cheeks tinted a deep violet color. You gave him a quick, loving hug.

"I'm fine. Really, Kurt." You smiled and nuzzled him. "You worry too much blauberry."

"Hmm." Kurt hummed. "Alvight." He turned his head to face you. "Jou are sure though?" You felt his arms circle around you. "Jou know I'm more than happy to cheer jou up ja?

You giggled. "Ja." So close to him you gave a quick kiss on his lips. "I know. Making me happy is one of your many natural talents."

His hug loosened and you noticed his features relax in your embrace. "Now-" Another kiss to his lips. "I take a nap and you finish your essay." You smiled coyly. "Deal?"

Kurt rolled his eyes playfully. "Deal liebe." He kissed your forehead, knowing very well how much his height over you caused your severe pouting.

True to nature, Kurt chuckled at your reaction, but then you noticed Kurt had yet to end the embrace.

Your brows furrowed. "Kurt?"

BAMF

You were in your room still in the loving arms of your beloved nightcrawler.

"Kurtie?" You questioned.

Said blue fuzzy sweetheart, grinned guiltless in front of you and was suddenly out into a BAMF of colorful smoke.

And you were left alone again.

Alone in an empty, all too familiar room you stared at every day and night. You collapsed on your bed, an emptiness sunk deeper into your bones as you laid down. It was terribly quiet.

In the dark silence, you couldn't help but wonder if it was a good thing or a bad one. The world grew fuzzier, it wasn't a total lie to Kurt, you were exhausted after such a long day. As you nodded off a small thought drifted and gave hope that maybe things would get better from here.

Life only went downhill from then on. You slept in too late that next day, waking up too many times in the dead of night or at the very wake of dawn and not falling asleep again for a handful of hours in between. When you woke up enough finally, you realized it was already late afternoon the next day. Pain hammered in your head, midterms coming up, you doubted anyone would be willing to go out that late in the day. Especially for something as trivial as you going on your first mission.

You felt embarrassed, you didn't want to face the judging faces of your peers, or worse the loving boyfriend you had already scheduled to spend time with, only to sleep late in.

You groaned and slumped into the bed. The blankets around you were pulled closer into you, as if the sheets of heavy fabric could actually make you feel better.

You didn't leave your room that entire weekend-which only resulted in loosing the majority of your snacks supply.

On Monday you woke up fairly early, though you weren't sure if going to sleep at midnight, waking back up at 4:00 AM and just stare at a ceiling until 6:00 counted as proper rest. Still you refrained from going to breakfast. Instead you tidied yourself up, and even picked lighter colors to wear, hoping you could givee off a seemingly a light air about you.

The next two weeks went by in a blur to you. Lectures went in one ear and out the other with the only gain being the dust on your pencils. Kurt continued to meet up with you in between classes and with every interaction you felt more weary.

You smiled and changed the conversation whenever you needed to. You were always 'fine' 'okay' 'of course I'm good'. Midterms, lack of sleep, busy classes, all fair excuses on your lips to avoid social interactions.

You couldn't look weak or appear overly sensitive to you team. You just got a mission and you needed to focus on that. What time you did spend with your friends were shallow at best. You listened and trained silently; you stayed quiet, preferring a soft smile, a comment or two, and continue counting the seconds until you could return to your room.

With Kurt, you stuck to the least active activities. A movie night, a nice reading session together-though, what had always been a comfortable silence, was becoming more and more a nervous guilt forming every second you were with him.

You didn't know why you were feeling this way. So your mother flaked on you, so what? This wasn't the first time, and certainly would not be the last. You were in a good place, living in an upscale private school, fun friends, an incredible boyfriend you definitely did not deserve, and presently one step closer to fulfilling a world-wide helpful purpose.

"Your purpose in life is to find your purpose." Your old friend Danny had told you that-though he was quoting Buddha...your thoughts trailed down.

With all the wonderful things going on, why did you feel so...stuck. Guilt, anger, confusion and anxiety stuck and bubbled together, stirred into a scalding cauldron inside you. It didn't make any sense, and the lack of liability just made it harder to function through it. You sighed, with enough time this slump would go away, you just had to be patient.

That was the only comforting thought you had for the last few weeks.

At the beginning of the third week, in the darkness of your room, you lied wide awake on your sheets, your heart beat a quick paced rhythm you could almost feel shutter behind your ribs' bony cage. Same predicament as the night before; you noticed your internal clock had started to contravene against you these past few weeks. Either having you sleep in too late, or not sleeping at all for days at a time.

With a huff of aggravation and defeat,  you finally just gave up and decided to escape the condescension of the four walls closing in on you. From your window you could spy the sky was growing just a few shades lighter, light enough to functionally be out without a flashlight, though the sun had yet to entirely rise.

You groaned, made a grab for a long sweater and jeans and ran out the room towards the closest veranda.

Exiting the halls, you saw the french doors of white wood and shiny glass observe a frosty silver February dawn outside.

Despite the lack of shoes, you welcomed the feeling of cold to surround you. As you opened the doors and stepped out, a fresh late-winter wind blew in your direction. The chilled air refreshed you as you breathed it in. You shut the door behind you and walked closer out on the porch, icy breezes flew by, given the ability to catch at the tussled locks of your unbrushed hair.

Crisp, winter chill entered through you and made the heat inside your center stir, though allow itself to be sated in the presence of only yourself in the frigid dawn. You took in a deep breath and the tension inside sunk down. All that existed in this moment was you and the winter winds.

Everyone else was obviously still asleep, understandably as it was a cold Sunday morning. Even the birds had yet to begin their chirps, though you had no doubt they would start soon.

The fresh crystallized frost on the grass shimmered in the subtle light of dawn and traveled up the mansion's brick and wooden structures, painted over the robust amount of greenery the mansion was surrounded in. Sparkling bits of ice coated the world in a brazing and enlivening air; it gave you a sense of peace.

You closed your eyes and took it all in. For once in the past few weeks, the heat thrumming inside you didn't feel stoked and fed. The world had fallen still and you with it.

"Y/N?"

Your heart jumped up towards your throat. You knew that velvety accented voice and horror brimmed to life with it. True to thought, when you dared turned to face the new arrival, Kurt had already closed to door behind him and began walking towards you. He was dressed in a set of clean black slacks and a light sweater. His wooden rosary beads were draped around his neck and a well used leather bible snugly held under his arm.

Morning mass.

You were an idiot. The heat was grasped back to life inside you. How much of an imbecile could you be? Kurt usually woke up early for Sunday mass because the early morning mass was the least crowded. He's told you this, you knew this, at least you should.

Kurt's shoulders tensed. "Vhats vrong liebe?"

*No, no,no.* Did your surprise give you away? You didn't exactly expect company this early in the morning, though you should have.

His reaction made your stomach clench. You gave him a smile.

"Nothing. Nothing at all." You shook you head. Pressure was building inside you. "I-uh," You smiled wider. "I just woke up a little early." An added giggle.

Kurt's concern never wavered.

You needed to evacuate. "Actually, I'm still pretty tired. So I'll just go back to bed." The heat didn't stop flaring, your fingers started to twitch, ready to act.

"See you later. " You chirped and made a move past him.

"Y/N! Wait up!"

You gulped, and mentally cursed your sheer idiocy. You should've walked faster. Oh who were you fooling, you shouldn't have left your room at all today. Why were you so useless.

What was wrong with you.

But in your mind you already had a answer to that.

*What isn't wrong with you?*

*You're destructive.*

*Insane*

The heat inside was excruciating. You gritted your teeth and a sound like nails on a freshly cleaned chalk board past the air around you.

You quickened your pace. Maybe you could feign you didn't hear him. Even if he thought that or not, it didn't matter. Your hands hummed with energy, fingertips were sparking.

You started to run.

BAMF!

A sour taste blanketed you and forced sputtered coughs from your lungs. The furnace inside geared up, your muscles tensed.

In a desperate attempt of escape, you tried running past the soft body that brushed against yours. You tried to hold back the sobs of sheer pain and adrenaline from bursting free and burning all you loved to a crisp.

"Hey, hey, hey." His arms went to your shoulders. Though he sounded rushed, you could tell the softness held was meant to soothe you.

"Vhat's vrong?"

You hated that question. You hated how sweet and low it sounded on his lips. You hated how much you didn't deserve to answer him.

But you did answer him, even if you couldn't dare look him in the eye as you did so. The heat was no longer bubbling, it was far past that. Bursts were flaring up, you tried to focus, but the pressure just kept building.

You needed to leave. Now.

"Yeah.." You took in a breath of air, of cool, fresh air-how long did that smoke take to clear? Never mind that; you wiggled away from Kurt and to no surprise he didn't put up a fight. Once you made it clear his hands were not welcomed on you, he backed off, even stepped a few centimeters away.

That was no where near far enough. "Yeah I'mgoodKurt." You pushed past him. "reallybusy-yaknow."

Small frits of light were fizzing and releasing from the pores of skin not completely shielded by the long thermal sweater you wore.

Keep walking. Keep walking. Keep walking. Your heart hammered against your ribs, ready to crack them open and shed its blood out to the world.

"Y/N please wait a second."

No you couldn't dare. You had to keep moving. Just the two of you, it wasn't good. You needed to get back to your room, you needed to get somewhere safe and far away from damage.

"Jou're...shaking. Are you crying?"

His hand went to you again you shrieked.

You couldn't take it, you couldn't take his worries. He was worried for you. You scared you, you caused him pain. You were an awful, selfish being. Shame and anger burned your body, and blinded you.

It all happened so fast. All you could remember was screaming then the cold floor under you. Lights shined off your retinas like fireworks inches from your face. Their heat flared the flames inside you and you reacted.

The instinct to wave your hands, to shield yourself and block an attack fell in.

Another scream.

Lights were still going, you could feel them, powered by your life source; and yet they no longer shined too bright to blind you. Air slowly began returning in and out into your chest-when did you stop breathing?

The world was dizzy and black dots that floated up like ashes after a forest fire did little to help. As blobs of color started to reform into shapes, your sense of self returned with it.

A figure in blue, black, and white was lying sprawled across the ground under you.

Blue was such a pretty color.

Pretty blue.

Blue.

Blau!

Everything came back in the single second you remembered his beloved nickname, a treasured pet name only you were allowed to give him. It was a cold, solid brick of reality that had been thrown square at your head and cracked you against its weight.

Kurt! Kurt! Get to Kurt!

NO! You screamed so loud inside your head, though you very well could have shouted, it was hard to know the difference in the moment.

"Gu..uh..um.."

He was groaning, he was alive. You didn't-

No, you couldn't afford to nurse the possibility. Your body felt so hard, tied and knotted already, you had to work to suppress gagging at your own thoughts.

Pain shot through you, your muscles were pulling tight, your heart was a frantic war drum in the heat of battle, your head a violent hurricane that just barely allowed an oasis of coherence. But despite it all, though your body ached, it kept going.

Your blood continued to pump furiously, fueling the shining lights of electricity that entirely covered your body. When you had risen up from the floor, nauseous, overstimulated, the lights caught your eye.

All across your body electricity bounced. You could spot from inside the overstuffed sleeve, a carnival of electric lights dancing and parading across your skin. But it was worse than that.

You could feel them, you could feel every current bouncing off the flustered bumps on your flesh, you felt electricity flash past the tiny hairs on your arms, refusing to burn its main power source.

It was thrilling, intoxicating and made you absolutely terrified inside.

You weren't destructive, you were destruction! This white hot source of pain didn't exist without you fueling it and controlling it. But if you couldn't control what you were, what did that make you?

Everyone here was a freak and wore that title proudly. You were much worse.

You were a monster.

Another groan, much deeper this time rang in your ears. You saw movement, his head slowly began to raise up.

The sight of it made you want to rush in and help him. But your eyes immediately went back down to yourself, your hands, your arms, your entire being! Back to this burning light warning you and warning others of you of what disasters lie in your wake.

You couldn't stop it, you obviously couldn't control it. So you did what you could do.

You ran.