I'm sorry

Y/N paces up and down. She feels the heat and the anger in her guts. For a second, she thinks about throwing stuff around to get rid of the pent-up energy that her anger brings, but Lady is laying on the couch with watchful eyes and Stevie is in the playroom. If she starts throwing things than one of them might get hurt and that’s something she doesn’t want. So, she continues her pacing and prepares herself for the up coming fight. She hears keys jingle against each other and the shuffle as they get shoved into the lock. The door opens, and she looks up from the spot on her socks she focused on while pacing. Lady jumps down from the couch and runs up to the front door, barking happily and jumping up and down Bucky’s leg as the brunette steps in. “Hey, girl.” Y/N sees him pat the Dog in an awkward angle, so that he doesn't have to bend down too much. Over the last weeks the pup got quite big. She already gets up to Bucky's knees and when she jumps up and down like now, she manages to come up to his stomach. The man shrugs off his jacket, just as Steve runs up to him and stretches out his arms to get picked up. “Daddy! You are back!”

“Yes. Hello big boy.” Bucky smiles at him and bends down to pick him up with his metal arm. Y/N clearly sees his wince and how his right hand covers a spot on his side. She crosses her arms and waits for the brunette to step through the doorway into the living room, which he soon does. “Hey, doll.” He smiles at her but it falters as soon as he sees her angry glare. Her eyes switch to Steve. “Stevie, please go and play. Mommy has something to discuss with daddy.”

“But mommy…”

“Please!” She says it a bit firmer than she intended and as she sees Steve flinch, her voice and features get a bit softer. “Please, Stevie. Take Lady with you. I’ll come in a bit.” Reluctantly Steve releases his tight grip on Bucky's neck and lets the brunette set him down. He takes Lady by her collar and drags her into the playroom. Y/N waits just long enough for Steve to close the door before she explodes. “What were you thinking! Do you have a death wish?” Bucky looks confused at her and shakes his head. “What?”

“Do you want to die that desperately that you throw yourself into every bullet that flies around on the battlefield?” She gestures widely for a moment. She knows that Bucky dawns what she means. He sighs and strokes his flesh hand through his long hair. “Who told you?”

“Nat did. But that’s not important. You got shot and could have died. What makes me even angrier than you throwing your life away like this, is that you also try to hide something like a bullet wound from me.”

“I wasn’t trying to hide it. You had caught up on it eventually.”

“Eventually? And that’s not hiding for you? I know for a fact that you’re back for over four hours now and you didn’t even bothered with telling me that you got shot in the first place. That’s obviously hiding, Bucky. It's your duty to tell me or Steve something important like this! We worry!”

“I know, I’m sorry! But you know that it’s dangerous for us to go out and fight and that we get hurt sometimes.”

“I do, yes. But no one told me that you actually try to kill yourself. Just tell me if Steve and I aren’t enough for you, if you want to be alone so no one needs to weep over your death. We can easily leave, if you don’t want us to be around!”

“That’s not true and you know it! I love you and I love Stevie as well.” Y/N watches as Bucky’s face gets red from anger, too. He starts pacing and frowns his arms to gesture around. “I wasn’t trying to kill myself. I’m not stupid!”

“Really?” She looks at him with a death glare. “Because if you throw yourself into a bullet, thats supposed to hit someone who's covered in armor, unlike you, then I think you must be stupid!”

“So, you rather see someone, one of your closest friends, get shot instead of me who can save him? You rather have someone get hurt you're not so attached to?” Bucky’s face shows just the littlest expression of disbelieve.

“Tony is wrapped in armor! He wouldn't even got hurt by one bullet! You instead could have hit in the head, and we never would have you around again.”

“So, you really don’t care about your friends being shot at and the risk of them dying? Because, that’s what could happen. And I’m willing to risk everything to save the others if I can. Even if it means to get hurt myself. I heal quicker than the others. I would do the same for you and for Steve. And he would, too.”

“Let Steve out of this! And healing quick doesn't mean that you're invincible! You can DIE, Bucky! And you just keep ignoring this fact! It’s not about the others or if I care about them getting shot. YOU are my boyfriend and I care about YOU getting shot at.”

“I’m not ignoring it, Y/N! I’m just weighting up the greater good. Better they live than me, with all that I’ve done, it's what I need to do to keep them safe. They deserve to live because they’re good people, unlike me.” Y/N’s eyes go big for a moment before her face turns expressionless. She studies him for a second. “Is that so?” It’s a rhetorical question, and she's not waiting for an answer. At the moment she walks past him she sees how Bucky’s face changes in one of realization. “Y/N. I didn’t mean to-” But she's not listening. Instead, she walks over to the entrance, slips into her shoes, grabs her jacket and leaves the apartment. Bucky grabs her wrist as she's about to shut the door. “Y/N, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean it like that. I’m just-”

“Let go of me.” She practically growls and glares at him. Her eyes are a bit darker and glistening with anger. Startled he lets go of her. She turns around and walks down the hall. “Where are you going?” His voice is still angered but Y/N hears worry, guilt and the tiniest of fear in it. “It’s none of your business!” She shouts back angrily, blinded by her anger and range and steps into the elevator, ignoring Bucky's shout for her to wait.

She rides down to the first floor and steps out hesitantly. Looking around the busy hall she tries to decide what to do. She’s still angry. But now there is hurt, too, that mixes to that feeling. Bucky still believes he doesn’t deserve to be happy. He's willing to sacrifice himself to safe the others. For other people, it would be a noble act, but for Bucky it’s just the fact that he thinks he doesn't deserve to live. Even after all the time they live together he doubts himself. Which leads to her thinking that he's not as happy with her and Steve as he lets them think. Is he even thinking about what he does to her and Steve if he thinks like that?

A tap on her shoulder lets her twitch together and look up. “Tony?” She's met with the smiling face of the genius who stands right beside her with his new sunglasses with yellow glass in it on the bridge of his nose. One look is enough for him to frown instantly. “Trouble in paradise?”

“I’m not in the mood, Tony.”

“Ouch.” Tony placed a hand over his heart. “Need some distraction? I’m heading down to the tower to meet with Pep. I could drop you off somewhere.”

“No, I’m-” She stops and thinks for a second before she nods. “Actually, yeah. Please drop me off somewhere.”

“Alright. Follow my lead and try not to look prettier and smarter than I am.” With a small smile she follows the billionaire down to the garage and joins him in his car.

It's already dark outside when she gets back to the compound. Tony had offered her, to drive her back or to call Happy to do so, but she had politely declined and had taken a taxi back. Now it’s somewhat past nine and the compound is almost ghostly silent. She steps through the empty entrance hall and walks across it to the elevators. Each step sounds back to her in the big hall, and she feels a cold shudder run over her back. Quickly, she steps into the elevator as the doors open automatically. “To my floor, please.”

“Of course.” She nods short to FRIDAY’s answer and for a second, she thinks about asking if someone’s still awake, so she can join whoever it is but shakes her head and throws the thought away instead. She’s a bit tired after running through New York all day. As the doors of the cabin open once again, she steps out, fumbles for her keys and opens the front door. She just manages to slip out of her shoes and jacket as the dog comes slithering around a corner and collides with her legs. Lady's tail waggles quickly from one side to the other, her tongue lolls out, and she sniffs on Y/N’s hand. Y/N quickly pats her head but ignores the dog as she tiptoes through the hall. She looks shortly into the living room, which is dark and empty and then tiptoes over to the kids’ room. Steve’s already in bed and fast asleep, his sheep clutched to his chest, blanket discharged to the end of the bed. His shirt is pulled up and bares his skinny chest. Carefully, Y/N shoves Lady inside the room and walks across herself. She pulls down his shirt, drapes the blanket back around him and plants a small kiss to Steve’s forehead. For a moment she thinks his eyes look a bit puffy and red but then it could also be the lighting of his night lamp that plays with her mind. “Stay here.” She commands to the pup and watches as the dog jumps up on Stevie's bed and snuggles close to the boy. She pats Lady’s head a last time before she ducks out of the room. Her eyes wander automatically to Bucky’s door and for the littlest of a second, she thinks about peeking inside and watching the man sleep. The fight comes back to her mind and anger flares up once again. “He has to suffer for a bit.” She decides and walks straight to her room, gets ready for bed and falls into a dreamless sleep.

* * *

When Y/N wakes up she feels barely rested. She knows he had dreamed confusing stuff she can’t remember anymore and had thrown herself around which let her feel a bit exhausted and still tired. She peels herself out of bed and slowly gets ready for the day. As she leaves her room, she sees Lady and Stevie walk out of the Kids’ room. “Mommy.” A small smile spreads over Steve's face as he sees her. He rubs his eyes tiredly and yawns but makes his way over to her. “Hey, sweetie. Did you sleep well?” Steve hums and hugs her tights before he looks up at her. “Where were you?”

“I’m sorry, sweetie. I know I wasn’t there for bedtime. I was out with your uncle for a bit. It got quite late.” She crouches down to plant a kiss on his cheek and rubs her tired eyes herself. Lady uses this opportunity to lick Y/N’s cheek. Carefully, she turns the puppy's head away from herself and rubs her cheek dry. “Daddy was worried.”

“Do you want to go to the common room for breakfast?” She ignores his statement, still mad at Bucky for his recklessness and instead picks the small boy up in her arms. He slings his arms around her neck and nods before a second yawn escapes him. Y/N chuckles and soon walks with him, and Lady in tow, to the common room.

It’s silent in the common room despite all the people that are there. Wanda and Vision sit on the couch and sip their teas silently taking to each other. Natasha and Clint sit on the kitchen isle, talking and eating something Y/N barely can identify. Sam makes some scrambled eggs and Tony seems to sleep on one of the armchairs, lightly snoring. “Hey, Stevie. Run up to Sam and get some eggs for you, okay?” The boy nods and waits patiently for Y/N to set him down before he darts away and collides with Sam's arms as the man picks him up and throw him in the air. Y/N walks over to Tony and drapes a blanket, from the couch nearby, over him before she sits on one of these couches. She grabs Tony's Starkpad and starts fiddling with it. Steve joins her with a plate of eggs, that he carefully tries to balance, while Lady jumps excited beside him, trying to get something for herself. “Lady, here.” The dog looks to her, then to Steve and back to her again as if she can't decide if she's ready to give up on the food yet. “Lady.” Reluctant the puppy walks over to Y/N and sits down by her feet while Y/N pats her head and ruffles her fur before she holds the plate for the boy while he climbs up on the couch next to her. They sit in silence as Steve makes his way through the plate of eggs. The moment he finishes, the plate is discharged on the coffee table and the boy runs up to Nat and Clint. Y/N eyes them suspiciously over the edge of the tablet, knowing that they don’t have good things in mind. Both adults crouch down and whisper to Steve who nods energetically. Just as Y/N is about to ask what's up, the three of them walk up to Tony. “Oh no. Guys, please.” Y/N groans. Wanda and Vision exchange a glance before they return to sipping their teas. With a smirk Natasha and Clint slowly free Tony from his shoes and socks. From wherever Steve gets a long feather and strokes it lightly over Tony's right foot. The man grunts, a sound that’s very similar to a pig and Y/N snorts before she covers her mouth in shock. Steve giggles and even the two adults have difficulties to hold their laughter in. Steve returns the motion once again. Tony grunts again and shuffles a bit and suddenly Clint has a second feather. Together the two start to tickle Tony merciless. The brunette grunts and giggles until he jolts upright in the armchair and looks around wildly and confused. Natasha gives Steve a high five before she and Clint flee back to the kitchen area where Sam watches everything with a smirk on his face. Steve runs over to hide behind Y/N which doesn't work all that well because of his laughter. Even Wanda and Vision can't hold back their laughter. Tony looks around and soon finds Nat and Clint behind the kitchen counter. He glares at them before he yawns, stretches and leans back. “Morning.” He grumbles and looks at Y/N with a tired smile. Lady comes up to the billionaire and licks his foot. Tony quickly pulls his feet back buts strokes his hand through her fur. “You really should sleep in your bed instead of the common room. You know how they are.”

“Yeah, yeah. What are you doing with my tablet?” Y/N watches down at her lap where the device rests. “Shopping.”

“Again? I thought you did that yesterday.”

“Yes. And no.” She smiles at Tony as Steve extracts himself from her and walks over to Tony. With a shy smile he reaches up for the man to get picked up on his lap. “Aha, now you want cuddles, huh, kid?” He picks him up nonetheless. Y/N smiles wider which falls and turns to an expressionless frown as Bucky comes in. Lady jumps up from her spot at Tony’s feet and runs up to him, bouncing excited and waits for him to pet her. The soldier looks around and soon sees Steve on Tony's lap. He waves at them and makes his way over, then he sees Y/N’s face and his own turns a bit darker and sad. A flash of guilt joins it. He sits down beside her and fidgets a bit before he turns to her. “Y/N, I-” But Y/N stands up, decides to be angry for a bit longer, and walks past Tony and Steve who look up at her in confusion, out of the room. Lady follows her, and Y/N feels the eyes of all the others on her. Before the door closes behind her, she hears Nat’s confused voice. “What was that, Barnes?”

* * *

The next day is almost the same. Y/N, Steve and Lady walk to the common room. She makes breakfast for all of them and then sits down between the couches to play with Steve and some toys he had brought with him. The others scatter around them and do whatever they do in the morning. “Lady, sit.” Steve looks at the dog but Lady just lays her head to the side as if to ask what he means. “Sit. Like this.” Steve stands up and flops back down on his butt. Y/N laughs and waits on one of the couches. She picks up her book, looks a bit longer as Steve tries to show their dog how to sit before, she starts to read through the book. She’s almost finished with the first half and determined to have it finished by the end of the next few days. When Bucky comes in, she looks up briefly and returns to her book but then her eyes snap back up and take a closer look at the man. He looks bad. She knows he hasn't slept much last night, if at all. She woke up sometime in the night and found him sprawled out on the couch in the living room. His gaze was focused on the TV, but he wasn’t really watching the show. It was almost three in the morning. But this looks bad, he's a bit paler and his hair sticks up to all sides. He has bags under his eyes, and she thinks that this wasn’t caused by only one night without sleep, and she asks herself if he had slept at all since they fought. Still, she decides to stay mad though she feels a bit guilty about it. She looks back down at her book, missing the unsure gaze Bucky sends in her direction. He comes over slowly and sinks down beside her and starts fidgeting immediately. For a moment they are silent, the others doing their thinks paying no attention to them, but then he turns around to her. Careful, he lays a hand on her arm. “Y/N, please. Can we talk?”

“Why?”

“Please…”

“No! There is nothing to talk about.” She claps her book closed with a bit more force than she intended. The loud clap lets Bucky and the others flinch. Lady whines as Y/N stands up and makes her way to leave. “Mommy? Mommy!” She hears Steve shout for her, but she’s too deep in her anger than to care. She feels guilty, too, knowing that she's acting unfair now and that she isn’t really angry anymore but that’s only to show him that she doesn’t want to accept the fact that he tries to make up to her what he messed up. If she's honest to herself she doesn’t even knows herself what she tries to achieve here.

“Stevie, come here.” Bucky holds out a hand for the small boy who has tears in his eyes. Steve's eyes are fixed on the door, but he walks over to Bucky and lets himself be pulled in. “I’m sorry, Stevie. I’m so sorry.” Bucky lays his forehead on Steve's shoulder and hugs the boy to his chest. “Bucky?” Wanda scoots over to him and puts her hand on his shoulder. “What is this about?” Bucky sighs and looks around. Sam, Tony, Natasha and Wanda look at him, waiting for an answer. He sets Steve from his lap and watches for a moment as the boy crawls back to Lady to cuddle the puppy for comfort while she whines and tries to lick every free spot of skin. But Steve doesn’t giggle, instead he hides further in her fur until she gives up and curls around his small frame. Bucky sighs and looks straight at the coffee table in front of him. “It started the day we came back from the mission a few days ago. I got shot, you all remember that, probably. Well, Nat obviously told Y/N about it.” He gestures at the red head. “I did because you refused to. What do you think how she would react if she finds out herself?” Bucky winces at the thought and nods, now that he knows how bad it is with her knowing what happened. He speaks up again. “I know. Well she got really angry about it. She asked me if I had a death wish. And I understand that. I really do. But then I got angry, too. I wanted to refuse the fact that she was right. We argued and then- and then I said that I don’t deserve to live and if I can save someone than that's what I will do.”

“That was wrong to say.” Tony looks at him with a raised eyebrow and Bucky throws his hands in the air. “Hell, yes. I know. I was just so angry and it slipped out. I know how much energy Steve had put in, to get me to acknowledge that I’m worth living and how much love Y/N shows me to get me to see that, too. I’m trying to talk to her since then, but she barely stays in the room long enough for me to even come over. I think I might have… I ruined everything.” He leans forward and places his head in his hands. “Steve will kill me.”

“Daddy?” Steve tugs on Bucky's sleeve. “Is mommy leaving?” His eyes are full of tears once again, his lower lip trembles, and he’s close to losing it. Bucky takes in a deep breath, wanting to answer. But then he finds himself not knowing what to tell Steve. Because he doesn’t know. “I- I don’t know, pal.” Steve frowns and then lets his head hang. “Is it my fault?”

“No. No, Stevie. Daddy made a mistake. It’s mine. You’re a good boy, okay?” Steve looks up as Bucky lays his hands on his cheeks. “All mine.” Steve nods slowly and lets himself be pulled in again. The others exchange a worried look but neither of them dares to say something just yet.

It's still early, so Bucky takes Steve and Lady back to their apartment after he talked to the others for a bit longer. They had argued with him a bit, and they clearly weren’t pleased with how he reacted as he fought with Y/N, but they understand for some kind and give him some advices how to get rid of the problem faster. He had a bit more hope now.

Inside their apartment Steve immediately runs to the playroom and Lady follows him, barking once. Y/N sits on a windows-ill, looking down to the green place where some people are running laps. “Y/N…” Bucky's voice is silent and defeated as he approaches her. Her head whips around, and she is about to stand up but Bucky holds up a hand. Surprisingly, she stops. “Please. Don’t run off again.” It sounds almost begging. “Can we talk about it? Please?” She studies him for a moment longer before she slowly nods. “Okay. How to start…” He paces up and down in front of her as she shuffles on the windows-ill to sit a bit more comfortable. “Okay, first. I’m sorry. I’m really so, so sorry. I didn’t mean to hurt you. But I…”

“You still think that you’re worth nothing, Bucky. That is why I’m really angry. You got shot. Okay. That happens and I know that. You throw yourself in front of friend. Okay. I know Steve does it, too, and I know the others would do it, too. It’s okay, I understand that and I don’t think it makes me really angry despite you trying to hide it. But what makes me furious is, that you don’t do it to save the others but because you think you're not worth it. After all the time we’re together now. All the time Steve worked on getting you back up on your feet - us showing how much you mean to us - you still think you could throw yourself away like this and no one would even cry a single tear about it.”

“That’s not true. I know how much I mean to you. You mean as much to me. I still think that with all I’ve done-”

“That wasn't you!” Y/N’s voice gets a bit louder. Bucky winces and glances back through the hall to the playroom. It’s silent and neither Lady nor Steve are to be heard. “I know.” He turns back around to face Y/N who now has her arms crossed. “But I still did it. And after all that, I think it's better to safe the ones who don’t have as much blood on their hand than I do. But that doesn’t mean that I do everything to come back to you.”

“Really? That’s how you apologize? By saying the same thing just in other words?” Y/N jumps down and stands right in front of him. “Tony has as much blood on his hands as you do. Natasha, too. But neither of them throws their lives away like this! I don’t want to look at you throwing everything away. I refuse to kiss you goodbye for a mission not knowing if today is the day you finally get hit and die on the field. I can’t.” She stomps past him into her room and throws the door closed with a loud bang. Neither of them had seen Steve slip out of the front door.

* * *

It’s an hour later that Y/N comes out of her room. She ignores the defeated sitting Bucky on the couch and walks into the kitchen and prepares some lunch. “Stevie! Lunch time.” She shouts for the boy but receives no answer. “Steve!” She looks into the living room. But there's just Bucky who lifts his head confused. He stands up and walks to the playroom. He comes right back out and walks into the kids’ room, then Steve's, then his own and then Y/N’s. “He's not here.”

“What do you mean he's not here?” Her voice has a sharp edge in it. “I- He’s not here. Lady neither.” Y/N comes out of the kitchen, ready to look in the rooms herself as a knock on the door lets her change her route. “Clint?”

“Yeah, hi. This little girl was walking up and down in front of the elevator. I nearly fell over her.”

“Lady?” Bucky comes up behind Y/N and looks down at the dog. Lady barks but her tail doesn't waggle. She doesn't show any sign of being happy to be home again. Slowly the dog walks in to her bowl and starts slowly eating. She never eats slowly and that lets Bucky frown. “Clint, was Steve with her?”

“Steve? Nope. Didn’t see him. Why? Is he hiding?” Clint smirks. Y/N looks briefly at Bucky who still stares at the dog as if she will talk to him any moment and tell him where Steve is. “We can't find him.” Clint's eyebrows shoot up. “You can't find him?”

“Yes. Bucky says he's not here. You really didn’t see him?” Clint slowly shakes his head. “Come on. We ask the others. He probably went down to Tony or draws with Wanda because of your shouting or something.” Y/N and Bucky wince at that but follow the blonde. They didn’t know that they had gotten so loud the last time.

It takes another hour to find and ask everyone but no one had seen the little super soldier. Y/N sinks down on one couch in the common room, while Bucky paces behind her. The others look around unsure of what to do. “Did you ask FRIDAY?” Tony looks at Y/N and as she doesn’t react, he looks over to Bucky. “Oh. How could I forget. No, we didn’t.”

“FRIDAY, where is Steve?” Tony asks and eyes both, Y/N and Bucky, a bit closer. “The little Captain left the compound two hours ago. I lost track of him after he passed the front gate, boss.”

“You-” Y/N throws her head up. “He left the compound? Through the gate? And no one stopped him?”

“It seems he is very skilled to sneak around as kid, too, Miss Y/N. I’m sorry.”

“FRIDAY, why didn’t you alert anyone?” Tony looks a bit offended at the nearest camera. “I’m sorry, boss, but the Captain did forbid me to. You ordered me to follow each of the Avengers requests.”

“But not the ones of a kid!” Tony throws his hands up. FRIDAY stays silent. Y/N feels her hand tremble and her legs get wobbly. She sits back down and hugs her arms tighter around her middle, drawing her legs to her chest. “We’ll go out. He can’t be far.” Clint speaks up but Y/N doesn’t even glance at him. In about a year she managed to lose two kids because she didn’t concentrate on the task at hand. Yes, she found Bucky but the fact that she even lost him in the first place is still a deep wound in her mind. She hears the voices around her, and she knows her friends debate at how to find her son, but she can't concentrate on who's talking, on the sentences or even the words. It’s as if a cloud forms in her head. Everything seems far away and yet so close. A cold and a warm hand place themselves on her shoulders. She looks up and as she sees no one except Lady who has her front paws and her head on her knees she looks to the right behind her. Bucky stands there and looks down to her. “They find him. They go in a minute. They said we should stay, just in case he comes home again. But… Do you want me to go, too?”

For a second, she wants to scream. ‘Yes! Yes, leave me alone like you want to. You’re not even happy with me. You don’t care about me anyway. Grab Steve and go.’ But then she shakes her head and looks down at Lady. A hand of her rubs her head absentmindedly. “No. Stay, please.” Bucky's thumbs rub on her shoulders, and he squeezes slightly. “Okay.” He lets go of her and walks into the kitchen. A few minutes later he returns with a cup of tea and passes it to Y/N’s hands before he starts pacing one again.

Time goes by as slow as it did the time Bucky was lost. Seconds turn into minutes, then into hours without any sign of Steve. Bucky loiters up and down the common room. At some point Y/N can’t bear it any longer to look at him pacing like that, so she goes back to their apartment for a while, looking at Steve's pictures and in the photo album before she goes back to Bucky. “It’s almost time for dinner.” She mumbles as she walks over to the window. “And it’s getting cold.”

“They’ll find him Y/N.”

“How can you know?” She snaps at him but Bucky sends her just a tired and sad look. Suddenly it hits her. She's being unfair. It's his son, too. His son, his best friend, his boyfriend. He's worried, too. “Sorry.” She turns around and looks down to the floor. Lady sits next to her, looking up at her before she strolls over to Bucky and noses his hand. He rubs over her head and walks over to Y/N. “It’s okay.”

He opens his mouth to say something else as Tony and Nat walk in. From their expression Y/N sees that they don’t have very good news. Without any words Nat walks up to them, a sad expression on her face. She reaches out and holds something out for either Bucky or Y/N to take. Bucky takes it and stares at the former white thing that's now dirty with mud. “His sheep.” It’s almost silent and not to hear but Y/N hears it. She knows tears stream down her cheeks as she reaches out for the sheep with shaking hands. Her legs feel like pudding as her hand strokes over the soft and dirty fur of the plushie. “Y/N!” The voices call out as Y/N’s legs give in. A painful grip on her arm lets her sight clear again after it got white for a moment. She sits on the floor, Bucky's metal hand on her arm. “Shit. I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I didn't mean to hurt you.” Her arm has a bright red hand print on it which probably will turn ugly blue and purple in a few minutes. Instead of saying anything about it she slaps his hand away. He has just the time to blink, to look confused, hurt and scared, until Y/N throws herself in his arms. She throws her hands around his neck and holds on tight. He hugs her back, pulling her more onto him. “It’s okay, Y/N. It’s okay. He’s a strong boy. Maybe he just lost the dumb sheep. Our Stevie is a fighter, doll. They find him.” Y/N keeps on crying until her eyes, head and lungs hurt.

Stevie is gone.