
Adventures in Custody
ONE WEEK LATER
Tony stood in the Tower kitchen, sipping coffee and watching the sunrise. He smiled to himself, taking in the quiet morning before starting another hectic day. He refilled his ‘World’s Best Mentor’ mug, a gift from Peter, and headed down the hall. Tony knocked softly and entered Peter’s room.
“Morning,” he said to his sleeping protege. Peter stirred and stretched.
“Oh, morning, Mr. Stark. What’s on the agenda for today?”
Tony dumped the remainder of his coffee on Peter.
“WHAT THE HELL, MR. STARK! IT BURNS!”
“Well, first off, you overslept again, so I’m late to get started in the lab. I hope you’re happy, ‘cause now you’re gonna be completing my projects for me.”
“I THINK IT’S SCARRING! AAGGH! WHY? WHY WOULD YOU DO THIS?”
“Get down to the lab in five minutes. I swear, I think May’s having an easier time.”
ACROSS TOWN
May sat at the table, absently prodding her breakfast. She glanced up, briefly, then returned to staring at her plate. There was a twitch, a thud, and then shattered mug shards on the floor. She sighed.
“Don’t worry about it, Peter. I’ll clean it up.” May stood up to get a dustpan while Peter’s legs writhed on the table, knocking over his plate of toast.
“I told you, no feet on the table,” she said, sweeping up bits of ceramic. Peter’s legs continued twitching and shook themselves off the table. They hit the floor, held motionless for a moment, and then began shaking and kicking again.
“You’re going to be late for school,” May said, wedging a piece of toast in his bent knee.
“Now hurry up and get to the bus stop. I’m heading to work.”
She got down on all fours and kissed his ankle. He kicked her.
May left the apartment and closed the door. Peter seized around the apartment, exploring the floors and the easily-climbable countertops. He shook into the kitchen sink, getting a rather large knife caught in his belt loop in the process. He then writhed over to the low window sill and enjoyed the city breeze as he fell five stories. Peter’s legs, being strong and not wimpy like Peter’s torso, quickly recovered and shook on down the street into the nearest Hot Topic.
“HE’S GOT A KNIFE!” The cashier’s eyes boggled and he ducked under the counter. Trembling, he peered over the counter at the delinquent.
“I’ll... I’ll give you anything, man! Just take whatever you want! Just don’t hurt me, man!” He huddled back under the counter and clutched his knees to his chest. He rocked and prayed silently to the emo gods. Peter’s legs writhed through the store, thumping against the counter and causing the cashier to shriek out a vigil to MCR. Peter’s legs struck a shelf and a pair of leather pants fell.
“You... you want those? You can have ‘em! They’re free! And, uh, here... have this belt, too, and um... those boots over there!” The cashier crept out and set a black leather belt with spikes studding it down next to Peter’s legs. He grabbed a pair of boots with a similar design and held them up for inspection.
“Huh? You like these? Here... I’ll help you get this stuff on if you put that knife away.”
Peter’s legs paused. After a moment, they shook and hit the wall, making the knife fall out of the loop.
“Huh... yeah, good. Okay, here you go.”
The cashier had soon dressed Peter in the sort of edgelord clothes only Hot Topic could dish out.
“There you go, sir. Enjoy your day,” the cashier said, waving with a trembling hand. Peter’s legs, clad entirely in black leather, rammed against the wall again, re-securing the knife, and writhed out the door.
AT THE TOWER
Tony looked down at Peter, who was tinkering with a car battery after Tony refused to give him anything safer or more fun to do. Peter stared, eyes blank and distraught, at the 12-volt brick he was given a scalpel for.
“Why so sad, kid? You haven’t said much.”
Peter fidgeted. “Well, Mr. Stark, I haven’t really felt like myself since I lost my legs and you shoved me in that sack and brought me back to the Tower before May could climb out of the sewer. I guess I just miss what my life was like before all this happened.”
Tony frowned and thought for a moment. Then he smiled and wrapped an arm around Peter.
“You know what? I bet you miss being Spiderman, don’t you?”
Peter blushed.
“Yeah, I guess so. I wish I was still out there, helping people, saving lives, stopping bad guys. But I guess I’ll just have to make the best with what I’ve got.”
Tony stood up.
“No. You’re still gonna be Spiderman. You’re still gonna save lives, and fight bad guys, and all that jazz. In fact,” Tony said, pulling a package from a drawer, “You’re gonna do it right now.” Tony unfolded the package.
“Mr. Stark, is that a new Spiderman suit? Oh my God, thank you! It looks so cool-“ Peter’s face clouded. “Wait a minute, it has pants attached. How am I supposed to—“
Tony shrunk it down to its wristband size and slapped it onto Peter, activating it. Peter yelled out, his voice muffled.
“I don’t think this is right! There’s no neck hole and my arms are stiff!”
“That’s because your arms are in the leg holes and your head is stuck in the crotch,” Tony said, hefting Peter onto his shoulder. He walked over to the window and undid the latch. “I heard there was a robbery over at the Hot Topic. You should check it out; it’ll bring your spirits up. Go, Spiderman! Spider powers, activate!” He tossed Peter out of the Tower. Tony shut the window after the thud. He gave himself a satisfied smile. He was finally getting the hang of this mentor stuff.
TO BE CONTINUED???????