Separated

After Peter’s torso had been dragged onto the ship and secured down with duct tape, Tony and May returned to the cockpit and prepared for takeoff. May took her face in her hands.
“I can’t believe something like this could happen.” Her lips trembled. “What sort of god would allow this?”
Tony steered the ship skyward. “I agree. I mean, what has Thor done for anyone lately? And I’m pretty sure Loki’s stealing my Adderall. But yeah, you should totally give them hell for this when we get--” A heavy thunk resounded through the ship.
“Peter?” May called. There was no answer. She stood up. “I’m going to check on him.”
“No,” Tony said, getting up. “I’ll go check on him. I shouldn’t be flying. Like I said, Loki took my Adderall, so there’s nothing to balance out the booze.”
Tony left the cockpit and entered into the kitchen, where Peter was sprawled out on the floor, having escaped his duct tape prison. He had one miserable hand extended towards the fridge.
“Please, Mr. Stark. I’m so thirsty.”
Tony stepped over him. “Alright, let’s see what we have.” He opened the fridge door. “Oh, oh no.”
“What? What is it, Mr. Stark? Is there nothing to drink in there? Please, I’m so thirsty!”
Tony turned towards him with a grimace. “I’m so sorry, kid. There’s nothing at all to drink in here. Nothing remotely fit for human consumption.”
“What? Is it like, alien food? I’ll take it, Mr. Stark, please!”
Tony shook his head. “No, kid, trust me. You’d rather go thirsty than drink what’s in there.”
Tony shut the fridge full of Diet Coke Vanillas and left for the cockpit. There, May was already gaining a feel for the controls.
“Hey, Tony, check this out!” She pulled off a mid-air somersault. Tony grabbed onto the back of a chair to keep from falling over. Thudding and groaning could be faintly heard from the kitchen.
“And that’s not all,” May said, plunging the ship into a nosedive. Tony was standing parallel to the surface of the planet and was inches away from hurling. May then yanked on the controls once the ship had barely brushed the forest’s canopy. There was another thunk from the kitchen, as if something had fallen from the ceiling.
“Wow, you’re getting pretty good at that,” Tony said, taking a seat once May had pulled the ship into the atmosphere. “Next stop is the Avengers Tower. That’s where I put the rest of the kid’s dust.”
May stared into the exosphere, pensive. “So, Peter’s legs are just wandering around the Tower? I wonder if anyone’s called security… maybe you should call down there and tell them to grab the legs.”
“Well, uh, huh, that’s the thing. You’re gonna laugh, I swear. It’s really a funny story.”
May turned to look at him. Her face held the same humor as a pediatric oncologist’s. “If you do one more thing to screw up the familial love subplot--”
“No, really! His legs are there, somewhere--”
“Where? Did you dump his ashes in a paper shredder?”
“No, listen--”
“At a foot-binding practitioner’s?”
“Where would I even find--”
“A gun range?”
“Please, May--”
“Chernobyl?”
“For the love of God, May! I flushed his ashes! The instant I got home, I flushed his ashes in my fancy Japanese smart toilet and threw the urn at a bird! I was going to decorate with it, but then this asshole bluebird started pecking at my window--”
May’s hands fell from the controls. She stared into the void in front of her. Her voice was a whisper.
“So his legs could be anywhere? The sewer system is so big…” her eyes teared up. “We’ll never find them.”
Tony sighed. “I’m sure you and the torso can find those legs. I’ll even open up the manhole for you. Or Happy will. Either way, we wish you luck.”
“Oh no. No. You caused this mess when you stole his dust and now you’re going to help us find his legs.”
“You mean, I supplied you with an adventure--”
There was a knock on the cockpit door.
“Who is it?” Tony called.
“Me,” Peter said. “Please let me in. There’s nothing to hold onto out here and I think the cabin’s decompressing.”
“We don’t want any candy bars,” Tony said.
“I think we’re above the Tower,” May said, and began lowering the ship.

TO BE CONTINUED????????????