Untrue

When Peter leaves Tony doesn’t much expect Sam to walk in looking somewhat nervous. “What?” Tony asks, taking a drink of his coffee.

“Yeah, okay, I’ll just jump right in. I would rather not be on bad terms with you on account of people you don’t like having a tendency of showing up dead. Obadiah, Killian, and I know you had nothing to do with Howard but that’s still a freaky coincidence,” Sam says.

Tony snorts, “Pepper was the one who killed off Obi and Killian so its not actually my bad side you need to avoid. And Rhodey stuck Hammer and Vanko in jail so. Anything else?” he asks, raising an eyebrow.

“Yeah, how come you get the credit for Pepper and Rhodey’s work?” he asks.

Tony shrugs, “my suit’s shinier. That and I usually help stick them all in a place that makes them easier to jail or kill off. And in my slight defense with Obadiah I was dangling from a ceiling telling Pepper to kill us both, its more of a coincidence that I happened to save myself before we both got roasted by the giant reactor. Pepper does have the best success rate of the Avengers though, but she refuses to wear any of the suits I make her.” Shame, that, because Pepper’s got a surprisingly brilliant mind for strategy. She needs fine tuning and actual training, but for someone who mostly spends her time winging it trying to save Tony’s ass she does a better job than people withactual training.

But the hero thing isn’t for her however much she already fits the role, if reluctant.

Sam makes a small noise of appreciation. “Well okay then. And for the record most of my time spent with Steve was either telling him to get a divorce or actually deal with his problems because complaining about them doesn’t do shit. You know how he is though. Stubborn as hell.” He shakes his head and yeah, Sam has nofucking idea.

“Good luck with that,” Tony tells him, waving a hand around. He’s lost the patience for it and if that’s what Sam wants fuck, all the power to him. He can be the next person Steve’s bullshit attitude ruins, that’s not Tony’s business.

For a moment Sam looks a bit awkward before he glances over his shoulder at the door Peter just left through. “Its not really my business, but you kid looked pretty upset. Guess he found out about the whole Bucky mess?”

Tony snorts, “well, you could say that. Steve decided it was a good idea to tell him right after hefound out because he was pissed off. Can’t say I blame him for being pissed off, but fuck him for telling Peter like that.” It was Tony’sresponsibility and Peter deserved to find out in a less shitty way than that. But no, Steve had to off and tell him in the way hedecided was best. Which wasn’t even a constructive way to tell the poor kid so now he’s got to clean up that mess too.

He’s not entirely sure why he thought Sam wouldn’t much care about that but he goes from looking a bit like he’s walking on eggshells to pissed in about two seconds flat. “You’re shitting me,” he says and Tony shakes his head.

“Nope. Kinda wish I was.” It’d save him a lot of trouble now, frankly.

Sam shakes his head, “can your creepy AI thing tell me where Steve is?” he asks.

“He’s on the roof behind the hydrangeas,” Tony tells him before JARVIS can. “And the AIs name is JARVIS,” he adds.

“Man, its weird that you have an AI that watches everyone every move and can run brain scans on people in like five seconds, that’s some George Orwell 1984 shit but right now I have bigger concerns so excuse me,” he says, walking off with purpose.

Tony considers their interaction for a few seconds before he starts laughing. “JARVIS, call Rhodey,” he tells the AI. Its probably ass o’clock in the morning wherever he is but Tony hasto tell him about this.

“Tones, can’t you call at a decent time or are you allergic to convenience?” Rhodey asks in place of a greeting.

“Rhodey, Steve’s mistress is afraid I’ll kill him,” he says, doubling over with laughter because that’s the most hilarious thing he’s heard this week.

Tony can practically hearRhodey’s confused facial expression. “Okay, what?”

*

Sam finds Steve exactly where Tony said he’d be and frankly it shows that Tony knows Steve pretty damn well and he has no idea, though he suspects it’s a no, if Steve knows Tony just as well. When Steve sees him he looks happy for about as long as it takes for him to read his expression and then he looks concerned and honestly he can stuff it. “What’s wrong?” he asks, then pauses. “Because I’ve got a whole bunch of shit to tell you.”

Oh Sam fucking betshe does. “You’re a goddamn asshole, you know that? Tony’s a real bastard for fucking around on you with Bucky but frankly from where I’m standing you’ve been asshole deep in an emotional affair with me for months despiteme telling you to actually work on your marriage if you aren’t willing to end it so the only thing you should be pissed over is the fact that Tony chose Bucky, not that he cheated. Because you did that too. And then you have the gallto tell Peter about it presumably in the middle of a fight with Tony and don’t tell me you did it for any reason other than to hurt Tony because I damn well knowthat’s why you did it. That is a new goddamn low, Steve, using a fifteen year old kid as an emotional tool to hurt your ex. What the hell is wrong with you?” he snaps.

Steve looks away, guilty like he goddamn shouldbe. “That wasn’t what-” he starts but Sam cuts him off.

“You best choose your words wisely, Steve,” Sam tells him in a warning tone.

He does at least take a few moments to think before he speaks again. “I didn’t think of Peter in that moment,” he murmurs and yeah no shit.

“See anythingwrongwith that?” Sam asks. “Because I have a fucking list.”

Steve sighs, “he would have found out eventually,” he murmurs like that excuses shit.

“Yeah, he would have and it should have been Tonyto tell him in part because he was the one who got caught doing something wrong and also because you clearly aren’t capable of doing it. What the hell did you expect out of that, Steve?” Because nothing good could have come out of that and Sam knows Steve isn’t stupid so he damn well knows that.

“It… wasn’t my intention to hurt Peter,” he says.

“No, it was your intention to hurt Tony usingPeter so I don’t see how that’s better, Steve. You want to be pissed off go the hell ahead, I get why you would be because your marriage already went to shit and now you have a garbage best friend too, fine. But you don’t using someone’s kidas a tool of emotional manipulation. That’s cruel Steve, and its nasty. Its not Peter’s job to be the weapon in your emotional war.” Poor kid, being tossed headfirst into his parents bullshit like that. Peter would have already had to deal with a bunch of backlash from Steve and Tony’s already long sour marriage plus their divorce and then Steve off and did that.

“I know,” Steve says, looking away.

Sam considers him for a long moment, trying to figure him out because he’s been a little contradictory lately. “What the hell isthis, Steve?” he asks in a calmer tone. “Because you take a step forward by actually taking some kind of control over your life and I thought maybeyou were moving forward. Then you pull this. What is going on?”

Steve doesn’t answer and Sam sighs because of course he has to do the damn work himself. “Why are you so afraid of being happy? Because every time I’ve seen you take any step towards happiness you ruin it for yourself. Now, I don’t like ultimatums because I don’t think they work but you painted yourself into one so you’ve got two choices Steve. You continue to do everything in your power to alienate yourself from people who actually give a damn about you, forever cementing yourself into the pain I think you feel waytoo at home in, or you take a risk and move on. You can’tlive in your past and your loss is awful, but you don’t get to stay here in the future where people are trying to give you a home only to throw that back in their faces because attaching yourself to people scares you. All that does is make you look like a jackass and it hurts everyone else around you too.”

He gets through to Steve on some level because he shakes his head, angry. “And who the hell am I supposed to attach myself too, hmm? Because my husband off and cheated on my with my best friend, Natasha is pissed off at me, and you just spent the last ten minutes yelling at me. What am I supposed to do with that?” he asks. “This sucksand this right here is exactlywhy I didn’t want to open up to anyone to begin with.”

Progress! Even if Sam still wants to slap him. “Steve, you gave upon your marriage forever ago and you’re mad Tony realized that? You told me once that Tony doesn’t ever seem to take off that public mask of his to let you in, but has it occurred to you that maybe its in response to you doing the same thing? His actions are inexcusable, and Bucky’s are inexplicable even to Natasha and Tony, but I’m not convinced you gave that marriage a real shot anyway. Natasha and I are pissed off that you decided to off and throw Peterinto your mess without thinking about his feelings, and you already described being alienated from Bucky. A lot of these problems predate your marriage implosion,” Sam points out.

“So what, its my fault?” Steve says and Sam shakes his head sharply.

“Don’t you dare pull that bullshit with me, Steve. Stop acting like a moron and use your damn head, I damn well know you’re smarter than this,” Sam tells him. Its fucking frustratingwatching Steve skirt his damn issues as much as he can to avoid leaving that depressed state he’s in. He’ll do anything he can, it seems, in order to refuse moving on from his past.

“I don’t know where I’m supposed to move on to,” Steve says softly after a few moments.

Sam shrugs, “welcome to everyone else’s life, Steve. Most of us are lucky enough not to have a life that got left behind so we’re all winging it too. I get that that’s scary, and I think you’ve earned those trust issues you’ve got. But you can’t long for that feeling of belonging, family, and happiness you had in the forties without taking the risks to get that back in this time. Vulnerability is scary, and it doesn’t always end well. But getting the kinds of connections you want isn’t possible without it,” Sam tells him.

“I don’t think I know how to do that,” Steve tells him softly.

“You don’t,” Sam tells him bluntly. He doesn’t expect Steve to laugh at that, a small noise that sounds almost painful. “Just saying. You can learn though, and I’d recommend starting by apologizing to Peter. And maybe talking to Bucky and Natasha but probably Natasha first because she’s got some weird ideas about what’s going on with Bucky on account of her and Tony also finding his behavior uncharacteristic and the theories range from aliens to mental illnesses that may or may not exist so. Her first.”

Steve frowns, obviously confused. “What?”

He sighs. “Look man, I don’t know what’s going on there but it’s a fucking adventure, okay. Not a very good one either. Point is even they’reconfused about Bucky so you’re not alone in that.” Sam doesn’t get it either but all he’s got is Steve’s point of view, his own guesses, and a video that tells him Steve’s point of view is highlyinaccurate to Bucky’s actual personality. So squat, he’s got squat.

For a moment Steve looks away, remaining anger falling from his frame. “You know, I thought maybe I’d get some of that back with Bucky, that feeling I wish I could get back to in the past. Imagine my surprise when he seemed to like Tony better than me,” he murmurs.

Huh, so that isa thing that’s been consistent since they found him. “You ever ask him whythat is?” Sam asks. “Because his answer might give you a little insight into what you’re doing right or wrong, or what Tony’s doing right or wrong. I think the mistake you made was assuming you could pick up where you left off when that’s just not possible.” He’s told Steve that before and he’ll say it as many times as he thinks he needs to until Steve gets it through his thick fucking skull.

Steve sighs. “Well, it sure shit isn’t possible to get that back now. I… I don’t know what to do with this,” he murmurs.

Sam steps closer to him, placing a hand on his shoulder. “What you need to do is realize that your home isn’t the pain you feel, it’s the people around you who care about you. Which, contrary to what you think, is a lot of people. Talkto them Steve, actually make an effort to open up and share something about yourself. They’ll surprise you with their responses.” Steve’s jaw clenches and he looks away briefly and Sam sighs. “I know its tempting to hide in that pain forever because its comfortable, familiar. But comfortable or not its still pain, and that familiarity with it is hurting you and everyone around you. Its time to let it go and find something new to make yourself comfortable in.”

*

Natasha all but jumps in front of him and Sam nearly jumps out of his skin. “Jesus Christ, can’t you make a noise or something?” he asks, hand pressed to his heart.

“Noise is contrary to being a spy. I think you’re good for Steve,” she says and he blinks in confusion. These people are emotional whiplash and he is confused.

“Okay, that’s nice,” he says, unsure what the hell else he’s supposed to say.

Natasha rolls her eyes at him. “I… don’t think anyone really knows how to call Steve out when he acts like an ass. We all have this image of him, I think, that’s not really accurate and that clouds our ability to tell him things he needs to hear. But you do it just fine and I think he needs that. We’ve probably let him run wild too much,” she admits, looking away.

“Damn right you have. Someone pleasetell this man to get some therapy.” People are out here thinking Tony’s the one with all the problems but Steve’s out here ruining all his relationships because he forgot how to be happy after he got defrosted. Dude has more problems than a math test.